Adolescence

My first memory was when I was 6. It was the day of my long-awaited birthday party and my family and I made a trip to Party City. On our way back to the car, I raced my older brother, Aaron, and fell. I cut my knee and elbow open and had to sit on my mom’s lap on the way home. I still have scars, both on my knee and elbow.

And The Tale Continues

The week before July 26, 2020, my eightieth birthday, Joyce and I went over to Kelly and David’s on Wednesday.  The kids had rented a lodge up on Hooker Road in Sequim and most of the family were going to spend the weekend there, celebrating my birthday.  But first Joyce and I spent Thursday at a B&B, Greenhouse Inn By The Bay, in Sequim.  A really nice B&B overlooking the bay and Dungeness Spit, where I had spent some time working at the Lighthouse when I was stationed at the electronics shop in Port Angeles.  It was a fun stay, provided by Chris, who had reserved a room but changed her plans and gave it to us.  I was able to regal Craig, the proprietor, with some of my stories about my life living in Sequim back in 1946 and 47.  I also shared stories about working at the lighthouse.

Friday morning Kim, Jadyn, Chris, Kelly and David met us at the B&B. They wanted to see the place before we did a tour at one of the Lavender Farms, B&B Family Farm, and had lunch at one of the local golf courses.  After lunch they went off shopping at Costco and Joyce and I went up to the Lodge.

We got to the lodge just as the owner was finished cleaning and they let us in early.  I experienced a Deja Vu moment right from the time we walked through the garage where the big board games were.  Then again walking into the downstairs day room where there were saws hanging on the walls.  As we walked upstairs there was a cabinet at the top with Coke memorabilia.  The feeling really hit when we walked into the kitchen where there was some large Coke memorabilia.  The feeling was just at the back of my mind then we found the master bedroom.  The feeling like everything was familiar persisted and I realized I was having Deja Vu.  It’s not the first time it has happened to me.  I’ve had these Deja Vu moments all my life.  I just wish I could remember them before I got to some place or did something after.

I woke up this morning after having a dream.  There was this little town out in the middle of nowhere.  And all of the men who lived there wanted to be remembered for having been the first to be known for accomplishing the same thing.  I can’t remember what it was, Robert Redford told it better in my dream, but they almost came to blows over it.  The bickering and arguing went on for days, weeks and months.  One day someone was searching for something in the basement of city hall and came across an old suit case, long stored and forgotten.  It was on a shelf, back in a dark corner, where no one ever went.  After wiping the dust off, they discovered something written on the lid.  The name couldn’t quite be made out but it told the story of him having come and gone from their town after having accomplished what they all had been wasting time arguing about.

Needless to tell the entire story of the party.  Ya, there were some bumps. But we all had a good time and will remember it in our own way. I hope it will be fondly.  I’ve accomplished a lot over my first eighty years and hope to accomplish a lot more for a long time to come.  Someone, someplace, may say, “I remember Bill Towne from way back when we did….”.  What I hope is, that I’m remebered for all the good things when someone thinks of me.

 

Favorite Recipes

Potato Salad

  • Boil potatoes in skins till fork tender
  • Hard boil eggs
  • When eggs and potatoes are cool, cut up and then add:
  • green onions, celery, pickles, MIRACLE WHIP

 

 

Thanksgiving Dressing

  • Box (more or less, depending on how many people you are serving) bread crumbs
  • Butter, celery, onion, chicken stock or Better Than Boulion, chicken thighs
  • In frying pan, saute butter, celery and onions. Add to stuffing mix along with chicken stock till moist.
  • Cook chicken thighs in boiling water, then pull apart and add to stuffing mix.  Put in oven safe pan and heat at 350º till heated through.

Waldorf Salad

  • Apples, celery, walnuts, MIRACLE WHIP
  • Cut up apples, celery and walnuts and mix with Miracle Whip

Cheesy Potatoes

  • Potatoes, cheese, Cream of Chicken soup, sour cream, milk, onions
  • Boil potatoes in skins till fork tender
  • Saute onions, then add soup, sour cream and milk to thin
  • Peel potatoes and grate into large baking dish.  Mix in soup mixture.  Top with grated cheese and bake at 350º for 30 minutes or until heated through.

 

 

 

Wells Banana Ice Cream

  • 6 bananas
  • 5-6 cups sugar
  • 4 qts  half & half
  • small package vanilla instant pudding
  • dash vanilla
  • 6 eggs
  • pinch salt
  • ice and rock salt

Mix together and put in ice cream maker till yummy! Layer ice and rock salt in container. Half this recipe fills the container and makes a LOT of ice cream!

Chicken Noodle Soup

  • Chicken breast
  • Grandma’s frozen noodles (in freezer section at grocery store)
  • Onion and celery chopped
  • Better than Bouillon
  • Campbells cream of chicken soup
  • Chicken stock, 32 ozs.

Boil chicken breast till done.  Set aside.  Cook celery and onion in a little oil in large pot till soft. Add chicken stock, shredded chicken and about one or two teaspoons of Better than Bouillon. Add noodles. Simmer for about 20 minutes, then add 1 or 2 cans of soup, depending on how much chicken stock was used.  Simmer another 15 minutes, then enjoy!

 

Clam Chowder

  •  Two 6 oz. cans minced clams
  • 1 cup chopped onion (or to taste)
  • 1 cup chopped celery (or to taste)
  • 2 cups cubed, raw, peeled potatoes
  • 3/4 cups flour
  • 3/4 cups butter
  • 1 quart half and half
  • 2 tablespoons wine vinegar
  • pinch salt and sugar

Drain clams and pour liquid over vegetables. Add enough water to just cover and simmer covered until potatoes are tender (20 mins.)

Make white sauce – whisk flour into melted butter and thicken with half and half (simmer till thick). Add to vegetables. Add clams, vinegar, sugar, and salt and pepper to taste.  Heat through and serve.

Christmas Eggnog

  • Beat together: 2 eggs, 1 can Eagle canned milk, 1 tsp. vanilla, pinch salt, 1 quart whole milk.
  • Make whip cream or use Cool Whip; gently fold into egg mixture.  Top with nutmeg or cinnamon, or both!

 

Sloppy Joes

  • 1 lb. ground beef
  • 1 small onion, diced
  • 2 or 3 stalks celery, diced
  • 1 green pepper, diced
  • 1 can tomato soup
  • 1/2 cup ketchup
  • 2 tablespoons mustard
  • 1 tablespoon brown sugar
  • salt and pepper

Fry meat, onion, celery, pepper.  Add to slow cooker.  Add soup, ketchup, mustard, sugar.

Cook 4 hours on high till heated through.  Serve on hamburger buns.

My Mother’s Meatloaf  (my husband, Tim Kelly, complained that meatloaf was just a giant hamburger with ketchup on top, and would never eat it.  What’s wrong with a giant hamburger? He loved hamburgers.)

  •  Ground beef
  • Eggs, cracker crumbs, diced onion, salt and pepper, ketchup

Mix all ingredients (amount depends on how many you want to feed) and shape into loaf and bake at 350 for about 45 minutes.  I usually put celery stalks underneath the meatloaf to keep it from sitting in the grease while it cooks. Last 15 minutes pour ketchup on top.  Serve with mashed potatoes and green peas.  Yes, green peas.  That’s my favorite!

 

 

Christmas Fruit Salad

  • One can cubed pineapple
  • One can mandarin oranges
  • Handful chopped walnuts
  • Two cups mini marshmallows
  • One cup sour cream 

Mix together and chill.

See’s Candy Fudge

  • 4 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1 Tbs. vanilla, 1 stick (1/2 cup) butter
  • 1 (12 oz. can) evaporated milk
  • 3 cups milk chocolate chips
  • 2 cups chopped walnuts (if you like nuts!)
  • 2 cups mini marshmallows

Put chocolate chips, walnuts, and marshmallows in large bowl.  Boil the sugar, vanilla, butter and evaporated milk for 11 minutes after bringing to a full boil, stirring constantly.  Pour over chocolate chip mixture in bowl.  Stir until melted.  Pour into a buttered, or foil lined, 13 X 9 glass pan.  Chill.

 

 

Banana Bread

  • 2 cups flour
  • 1/2 tsp. baking soda, 5 Tbs. milk, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 1 cup white sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 cup butter
  • 1 cup mashed bananas
  • 1/2 cup walnuts (optional)

Sift together flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.  In a large bowl, cream sugar and butter. Beat the egg slightly, and mix into the creamed mixture and add the bananas. Mix in sifted ingredients until just combined.  Stir in milk and nuts. Spread batter into one greased and floured 9 X 5 inch loaf pan. Sprinkle top with sugar.

Bake at 350 until top is brown and cracks along the top.

 

Everything leads to this

So from Knox I did a year tour in Korea with the understanding I would pick the post I went to coming home, and I wanted to go back to Fort Knox. So I was about two months from leaving Korea, and Branch called me and they said, “Hey you’re not going to fit into the deployment schedule there at Knox, you’re going to have to pick another duty station.” So we ended up going back to Fort Bragg, North Carolina. When I got there we deployed to Afghanistan. I was a platoon sergeant, at the time, of Bravo troop 1st platoon, 3-73 CAV. We called ourselves the ‘Outcast’ platoon.

War & Love

Tiffany: I managed a bar and restaurant as a shift manager/kitchen manager. We were about 45 minutes from Fort Knox, and there are not a lot of great experiences you have with service members at a bar, [laughs]. Our first meeting was his birthday and he was drinking at the bar. He had some friends with him, and I thought they were being ornery with the bartenders so I kicked them out.  The bartender stuck up for them and said, “No, no. We were all just joking. They weren’t being ornery or nothing,” so they stayed and I guess he liked the spunk of me trying to kick them out, so he spent the next three hours trying to convince me to go to dinner with him that night. At first I said,, “No. Get out of my establishment,” But three hours later I realized, ‘Ok, he’s really determined,’ so we went out to dinner. He took all of his friends home (a 45-minute drive there and a 45-minute drive back) to take me out to dinner. So, we went out to dinner that night and I think the next day we went fishing. Well, We’d only known each other two months when he asked me to move to Texas, so I told him, “Yeah,” but I needed a month to get my bearings.

Robert: That was huge, because marriage was not on the table ever for me. Living with anyone else? Nope. Nope. Not doing it. Commitment was not my bag. But then she came along.

Welcome to the Army

I always felt a pull towards the service, but I fought it for years. I didn’t join until I was almost 24. I was living in San Diego, surfing, and having a great time-there was so much going on. There was always a pull to serve, and one day I pulled the trigger. My mom was not happy about it. My dad was a Vietnam-era Marine, and he was not allowed to have anything in the house that was military related. My mom thought I was predisposed to joining, and she didn’t want military stuff in the house because she didn’t want it to happen. I tried to join the Air Force. They medically disqualified me for childhood asthma. The Army guy actually ended up calling my mom first, and saying “Hey, you know, I can get your son in with a waiver.” My mom had about an hour-long conversation, while I was at work. She didn’t want to tell me, and she wasn’t going to tell me. She knew I wanted to join, so she showed up at the job site, and she said “Hey, the Army guy called and said he can get you in,” and that was all it took. I told my boss, “Hey, I’m leaving for the day.” I went and I joined the Army.

I didn’t really know what I was getting into, until my first night at the reception company, before I shipped to the actual ‘training’ part of basic.  That first night, as I was sitting there in my bed surrounded by people I didn’t know, I came to the realization of, “What did I do?” When you’re immersed in all those different people at the same time, there’s a lot of tension. A lot of different people with different backgrounds. I grew up in San Diego with mostly Hispanics, American Indians, and Asians. I didn’t see or know many African Americans before coming into the Army. Everyone kind of goes through the same thing and you get used to everyone’s personalities-all the apprehension just kind of fades away; the color doesn’t matter. You guys are just a bunch of dudes going through the same things. It took about two days before we all just kind of realized we were in for a long ride, so we just got along at that point.

When I started in the Army I was a 14 Juliet, an Air Defender. Really long name, but what it boils down to is, I was a radar operator for an air defense platform. When I joined, I didn’t know anything about the Army; you know what you see on TV, and all you see on TV is infantry, infantry, infantry.  I went there [to the recruiter] and I said, “Hey, look man, I want to be an infantryman,” and he said, “Well, you scored really well on the ASVAB so you can be an infantryman, yes, but I can send you to Airborne School, give you a $5,000 bonus and make you an Air Defender,” and I was like, “Oh, ok, well I mean, what does it entail?” So, he showed me a video of nothing that my job entailed, and I bit. I was like, “Yeah, absolutely!”

So I went to Airborne School, and I had never gotten airsick before. As I was standing in the aircraft before my first jump, I was like “Oh my god, I’m going to throw up.” It was hot, it was really hot, because it was summer in Fort Benning, Georgia, and I had a little vomit bag with me. I tried to turn away from everyone so no one would see me, and I threw up a little bit in this bag. Then, I took that bag and I had nowhere to put it, so I put it in my cargo pocket. Well, when I hit the ground they were like, “Get your parachutes; take your helmet off, put your patrol caps on,” so I did, and then I realized that my cap was in the same pocket as my vomit bag. When I pulled it out, it was covered in vomit. So, I put dirt all over it and I tried to kill the smell, but on the whole way home (on the whole way back from the drop zone on the bus) I was the stinky kid who smelled like vomit. It was, well, interesting.

When I first got to my unit at Fort Bragg, I was a driver. I drove the radar truck to where it had to go, and then there was a guy senior to me who was in charge of actually setting it up, and then another guy who was the overall team leader who was in the shelter node. He was in charge of connecting the radar and connecting it to all the different systems. so I did that for about three months. I was older and a little more mature than everyone else so it didn’t take me long to move up. I could say I was only a driver for about three months before I moved into the senior position. Later on it in the Army, it gets a little more complicated and you start thinking for yourself, but when you’re a Private, all you’ve got to do is be able to do push-ups, sit ups, and run two miles fast. It was easy.

Then everything changed. 9/11. That was one of the most vivid memories of my entire life. We’d just come out of the field, and we were on the civilian wash rack on the corner of Longstreet and Gruber, scrounging for change to get our Humvee washed so we wouldn’t have to go to fight the line at the big wash rack. So, we’re sitting there and we’re washing off the Humvee on the outside, and somebody drives down the street and goes, “Hey, get back to your unit; they just hit the World Trade Center.” You know, we were Privates; we didn’t know what it meant. So, we left the wash rack, drove up to the unit, and everyone was just kind of sitting around the TV in the seating area in awe. And then there was this really weird, deep sense of, “We are going to war and it’s going to happen right now.”

So first into the war were the special forces, then the Rangers, and we got there by 2002. First we hit Kandahar, and we were there for probably two months, and then we moved north to Bagram and we were tracking aircraft out of Bagram. It was exciting. As a young individual all you’re thinking about is adventure, and it’s exciting. Everything is kind of dangerous, everything is kind of new, every situation is an adventure. At that point in my life it was awesome. I was single, I had nothing to do but serve, and it was great. That period of my life was such a growing period. I feel like I went from very immature to mature in half a heartbeat. And then before I knew it, after just four months they were like, “Hey, we’re going to push you guys back.” Little did I know I’d be in Iraq in a few months.

I was home long enough to spend the money I’d saved up on deployment, and then they were like, “You’re the only one with any combat experience; you’re going to Iraq.” So, we got attached to second brigade of the 82nd Airborne Division, and before I knew it, we were in Kuwait. They didn’t tell us where we were going, and it wasn’t until we were at the DFAC (cafeteria) that Geraldo was on TV telling everyone where the 82nd was at; and then that’s when we knew where we were.

Test Korean

설탕은 단순한 탄수화물입니다. 몸은 빠르게 분해되어 설탕과 가공 된 전분을 흡수합니다. 그들은 빠른 에너지를 제공 할 수 있지만, 사람을 가득 채우게하지는 않습니다. 또한 혈당 수치가 급상승 할 수 있습니다. 빈번한 설탕 스파이크는 제 2 형 당뇨병 및 그 합병증의 위험을 증가시킵니다. 섬유질은 또한 탄수화물입니다. 신체는 어떤 유형의 섬유를 분해하여 에너지로 사용합니다. 다른 것은 장내 세균에 의해 대사되는 반면, 다른 유형은 신체를 통과합니다.

설탕은 단순한 탄수화물입니다. 몸은 빠르게 분해되어 설탕과 가공 된 전분을 흡수합니다. 그들은 빠른 에너지를 제공 할 수 있지만, 사람을 가득 채우게하지는 않습니다. 또한 혈당 수치가 급상승 할 수 있습니다. 빈번한 설탕 스파이크는 제 2 형 당뇨병 및 그 합병증의 위험을 증가시킵니다. 섬유질은 또한 탄수화물입니다. 신체는 어떤 유형의 섬유를 분해하여 에너지로 사용합니다. 다른 것은 장내 세균에 의해 대사되는 반면, 다른 유형은 신체를 통과합니다.

In Others Words – Memories from Friends

I first met your Pop Pop when he was in elementary school and I was in junior high school.  Our parents all moved into this great neighborhood around the same time. David was a cute, blonde, excitable kid with a lot of energy. I occasionally babysat for the family and always loved being part of their tribe, David was always a good kid–never rude or disrespectful to anyone.  Summers in Niantic were extra special as kids. Not only did we have a beach in our town, and weekly evening town block dances, we had fun beach cookouts at McCook’s park and swimming at dusk. All of this normal childhood was ripped from this most wonderful family on New Year’s Eve, 1968, when David’s father died suddenly.  My mother told me, with tears streaming down her face how she watched David, upon being told that his father had died, run to his room and return with his piggy bank, emptying it out, in recognition that his mother would need it. David stepped into manhood that day, and from what I have seen from a distance, intermittently over time, he did it with both feet, lovingly shouldering what he could to help his family and easing his mother’s burden. This tragedy, the loss of such a good man at such a young age, leaving your Pop Pop without his dad, who was so proud of him had to be life-altering for your Pop Pop. Suffice to say that a lesser or average person would have plenty of excuses for living a life filled with anger and resentment, and negatively impacted by pain.  Not your Pop-Pop, instead, he used it to catapult his life to have meaning, living and loving fully, cherishing life, perhaps for his father as well as his mother, to make up for the time his father didn’t have–and helping others to find meaning in their lives. When my mother, Jean Hadaway, died, I reached out to David and asked him to lead my mother’s memorial service. He cleared his calendar and came back to Connecticut for our family and led the memorial. You know you come from love. Pop Pop’s gift to you is all about love and the meaning of living life well.  Just as he has done, my wish for all of you wonderful Griffiths is that you, too, go forth and shine.- Debbie Hadaway, Niantic Conn (The Sandlot Years)

Some of my fondest memories with Dave are:  Back in the mid 70’s I had a job as a newspaper delivery boy. The newspaper had a promotion that if you could get 3 new customers within a specified time you would get a ticket to a NY Giants football game. I ended up getting 6 new customers and received 2 tickets. Even back then Dave was a Giants fan. It was my first time to a game and we both had a great day.   I appreciate and admire the way Dave has lived his life since finding Jesus many years ago as well as his desire and commitment to serve him.   Back when he accepted Christ we had not seen each other in some time but I always appreciated the fact that it was important to him to get a hold of me and tell me about it.   One of my first jobs was with Dave at the age of 13 (Dave was 14).  A man would pick us up with other young teens in a van and drop us off in various neighborhoods to knock on doors and sell subscriptions to the New York Times. Our crew was so good that we were selected to travel to Williamsport PA with our driver, get put up in a hotel, and do the same thing there. We did so well the company asked us to stay another day.   What I like best about Dave today is his commitment to his Lord and to his family. He has raised 3 great kids (not kids anymore) who have all made something with there lives and I’m certain Dave has a big influence in there lives today. I’m sure his wonderful wife June was also a big influence.  Joe Taraska – Randolph Years

Dave,  despite the struggles and challenges, my favorite memory of our time together was some of the early times in the movie theater, worshipping and praying with Iglesia Alianza together in the large theater. We built some good bonds of friendship of our people with Iglesia’s people, did children’s ministry together, did some great joint worship (especially “MYFAITH Sunday”), preached and taught well, heard some great testimonies from various people. It was a real highlight! Even though there was a lot involved in set-up and take-down, it was well worth it! Also, loved it when Dave & Dean and I met together in the Morristown Diner to strategize and pray together. We shared some great spiritual life together in all those early formative years.  Despite all the highs and lows that we experienced in our 14 years ministering together, we somehow together found a way to stay the course and finish well. I couldn’t have done it without you!  Pastor Peter Amerman – “The Ministry Years”

I first met Dave at Washington Valley Chapel in Morristown in 1987.  We became friends instantly.  Our kids were close in age and they became friends as well. We started our walk with the Lord doing many ministries together including being Elders in the Church, Boys Brigade, a Christian version of the Boy Scouts, and we organized a Harvest Festival in October, as well as Vacation Bible School in the summer.  I have seen Dave grow in the Lord over the years and for many years we attended Alliance Men’s Retreats in Pennsylvania. I greatly admired Dave’s courage when he left his full time job to go into the ministry as a Youth Pastor.  One of my fondest memories with Dave is when we took the Youth Group down to Florida to help out after a tornado hit the Orlando area.  I have never seen such devastation, and it was amazing to see Dave along with the youth, to comfort people who lost everything!  I will never forget one family that we bought groceries to, where Dave and I were comforting the parents, while the Youth Group girls took a 7 year old girl into another room to comfort and talk to her since she was now having trouble sleeping, since the tornado happened in the middle of the night. We both left the Morristown church, although we still kept in touch and remained friends. Years later he approached me and wanted to know if we wanted to be part of a church plant in a movie theater in Morristown and of course I said yes..  To be able to minister in Morristown was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up and from there we went to a church in Parsippany where Dave and I served the Lord. Dave and I started a bible study in our homes and continue to have it to this day. In addition, we played a lot of golf together including the Bible Open, which is a fundraiser for Market Street Mission in Morristown. To sum everything up, I have enjoyed many years doing things together and enjoyed watching him grow in the Lord. And to this day I consider him a close friend.  Paul Pagano – “The Ministry Years”

So many memories!   Life on Lake Road – pre-speed bumps (loved it when the bridge was being redone – a much quieter road then!),  having baby boys weeks apart, and watching their friendship and fun for so many years,  long Governing Board meetings at WVC.  I always tried to help out by saying, “I move to adjourn” lol,  watching you grow in your faith and in your skills in sermon delivery. Probably my favorite memory was the summer day that you came to pick up (or was it drop-off?) Robert at our house in Mendham.   I asked you what was new with you, and you replied, “Well, I’ve just resigned as pastor of my church” and told me you weren’t sure what God was calling you to next, and, as I recall, that you had a heart for ministry maybe in Morristown.  I knew that Pastor Pete was in a similar position and gave you one another’s contact info.   And what a beautiful thing it was to see what happened next.   I had been thinking that you could encourage one another, but you ended up encouraging one another together!   And then Dean and Iglesia Allianza added much joy and depth to that time.  It was such a special group and time for Jimmy and me, together with you at The Well and at Living Waters. Dave, a few things that I love about you are your earnestness for Jesus, your transparency in your life, and the integrity with which you live.  Linnea & Jim Mescall – “The Ministry Years”

It was his “charisma” that attracted us to Pastor Dave.  His meaningful,  heartfelt, emotional delivery of the Lord’s message for the day, conveyed in a simple, easy to understand way, always touched us, and was memorable.  His use of “visuals,” to drive home the message, was always fun!  He did not preach at us but to us.  You know he believed in what he said.  He will remain in our hearts always.    Tom Meikle, Nancy Deubel.  – “The Ministry Years”.

Some of my best memories about my good friend Dave:  Morristown brother in Christ! Church Softball teammate !! Golf partner that golfs like me lol! Youth mission trips to Arizona and Montana, A place to stay when I needed it! A prayer partner at the kitchen table praying about the Morristown church startup!   Good friend always!   Karl Samuelson – “The Ministry Years”

Epilogue – “My Final Reflections”

Well, what is a book without an epilogue?   I just want to say that writing this book was one of the best things I have done in my life.  I had been thinking about it since the day my sister Carolyn placed the thought in my head (thanks Carolyn) but never found the time as life gets busy.  Low and behold the year 2020 came and what happened “COVID-19” put a halt to almost everything for a few months.  So I suddenly had the time to sit and reflect on my life.  This final reflection is what I discovered.

Through life, you have certain dreams, expectations that you hope for.  I remember as a kid I loved to make people laugh and me and my friend Joey Coleman talked about being comedians and traveling the country together.  Well though I had some brief moments in 8th grade and in my time in Youth Ministry, it never panned out as most things we want to become as kids never do.  I wanted to play football and dreamed of being a star QB in HS and when I got older.  That dream was squashed by my skinny – 137lbs dripping wet HS weight and a kid named Nick Mygas who pummeled me at every practice in 8th grade before he went on to star as a Linebacker and Captain for Navy Football.  I also wanted to see the world and for a brief time, I did, while in the Navy, and had a blast, and hope to do more in my twilight years with June.   So if you look at it in one way, life is full of unfilled dreams and disappointments.  Or, you can choose to look at it in another way, we may have dreams but God places us on a path that he chooses to fulfill our purpose.  That’s what I have learned as I look back on life.

Life, yes it is full of heartaches I would love to change, like the passing of people in my life who were gone to soon: my father, Pop-pop, Chris Poulos, and Nicky.  Though pain is part of the human experience and difficult to understand when it is happening, time begins to reveal how good can come out of painful moments.  My father dying so young placed us on a different course in life, but through it, I met my life’s partner, June and now have a wonderful family Crystal, Christopher, Robert, along with their spouses Ryan, Joy, and soon Lizzy.  Through them, I  have 5 wonderful grandchildren: Brody, Anna, Camy, CJ and Keagan.  As my granddaughter, Anna said one day when I talked to her about my father’s death; through that tragedy, God gave me a wonderful family as a blessing in return.  Even with Nicky’s death, I’m now seeing Uncle Eddie starting to read the Bible and talking about looking forward to seeing Nicky again.  It’s like God says in his word in Isaiah 61:3 “he makes beauty out of ashes”.  

So as I looked back on my life during these last few months while I wrote my story, I discovered that same thing that George Baily found out in the movie this book is semi titled after, “It’s been a wonderful life and I have been truly blessed”.  During the writing of this book as I reflected on my life’s event, there was a mixture of emotions, happiness, tears, heartache of years gone by so fast, but most of all satisfaction for a life well-lived.  Do I wish at times I was more financially successful?  Yes, but as I have come to learn, true success comes from the relationships formed during the journey.

So as I look back on the highlights of my life these are the things that flood my memory and give me a joyful heart: growing up in the 60’s and ’70s when life seemed much simpler,  living in Connecticut and remembering the “sandlot years”.  Growing up in a time of life where everyone was like a family in your neighborhood and all the Moms were always home when you walked through the door after being outside all day playing with your friends.  Moving to New Jersey and having my grandparents live close by so we could have Sunday dinner with them on Lake Road and going to the Corner Store (Neits Store) to buy Archie comic books, Madd and Cracked magazines.  Being able to work at the Babe Ruth World Series in Morristown at the concession stand and getting to serve a hotdog to  “Lefty Grove” from the Yankees and Pete Lucia from the band ‘Tommy James and the Shondells”.   Of course, moving to New Jersey placed me on a path to meet my wife – “June” and the rest is history.  Joining the Navy and getting to see and live in two different countries, and having June along to enjoy it with me.  Having children young and enjoying many fun memories like,  family vacations down the shore, Myrtle Beach, Disney World, and all their sporting events, plus just being a Dad.  I’ll never forget the time when we drove down to Disney with Robert and as we passed under the “Welcome to Disney World” sign hearing him say “wow” in the backseat.  That was one of my favorite trips as Crystal and Christopher flew down and we were with Aunt Debbie, Eddie, and Nicky.   Then I had the joy to go again years later with my children and grandchildren, and hope to go again one day. Also, watching and cheering on each child when they were young: Crystal, Christopher, and Robert at their many sports activities and coaching each of them at one time.  Now I get to do the same as a Grampa cheering on my grandchildren as they play their many sports: Baseball, Hockey, Lacross, Soccer, Basketball, and soon football.  Though now I’m much more relaxed and can sit back in my “Pop-Pop” chair and enjoy them playing without yelling!!

I also look back on how blessed I was following God’s leading and going into ministry.  My favorite years were at Washington Valley Chapel and being in Youth Ministry.   I loved going on the missions trips with the Youth group to places like Colorado where we camped out under the stars in the Utah desert with the cry of coyotes in the distance.  Going the see the Grand Canyon and seeing the teen faces as they looked in awe at God’s creation.  Going to Montana and white water rafting down a river in “Big Sky” country.  Horseback riding with the Youth group across the open Montana country, yelling at Karl to hurry up as he was lagging along on a horse named “Mare”.   Then riding the horses across a Montana river and watching the instructor and her horse fall in after she warned us about the hazards.  Driving down to Flordia with some teens to help in the Tornado disaster relief, and handing out toys to small children whose homes were destroyed.  There were also the many weekend trips up to Lake Champion and doing skits in front of the kids making them laugh.  Though I had to put up with “bugger walls”, teens chasing buffalo across the open wilderness (Matt & Josh) and almost getting killed, a tongue piercing on the Myrtle Beach trip, and being escorted off the paintball property by the management after being caught sneaking in our own paintballs, plus other teenage nonsense, it was worth it as I was able to do all these things with my son Christopher and his high school friends.

Now as I am in the last phase of my life watching my children as adults and parents of their own (Roberts time will come) I can’t be more proud of how they have turned out.  How Crystal has become a great school teacher loved by the kids she teaches.   Christopher following in my shoes into the technology world and now getting a chance to fulfill his calling as a coach for school sports.  Robert following in the footsteps of my father (his grandfather) and becoming a Mechanical Engineer and doing well in that field.  As I look at how my children have succeeded not only professionally but personally with families of their own I can sit with a smile and count my blessings.  June and I have even had the blessing of having Crystal and her family and Christopher and his family move back in with us for a short time as they each waited for their next step in life.  Both those times were wonderful memories.  

To conclude: as Frank Sinatra once said in a song, “regrets I had a few, but then again too few to mention” I guess sums up all of our lives as we look back.   The only thing I would change about that song is instead of saying “I did it my way”, my story would have the line “I did it, God’s way”.  I hope each of you, my children, and one day my grandchildren, after you have read my story,  that you have learned a little bit more about Dad/Pop-pop and have enjoyed the pages in these chapters that made up my journey, learning about how I grew up and the events that have shaped who I am.  Enjoy your own life journey, learn from your mistakes, don’t hold onto regrets, allow God to teach you through the pains of life, and most of all embrace the path God has for you.  I would like to end with this scripture that gives a great depiction of life.  Embrace it, enjoy it and most of all live it.  (This verse was made into a song by the Byrds called “Turn, Turn, Turn”)

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 a time to be born and a time to die,  a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh,  a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Remember most of all this verse:  “ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart”.

God Bless you all,  Dad/Pop-pop

My Childhood

 

Every body knows me by Javier. I do not know if my brothers and sisters know that my first name is Jose The only one that ever called me Jose Javier was my grandma. I only use my first name for legal matters.  I was born on February 16, 1947. At least that`s what my birth certificate says. I grew up in central part of Mexico in Aguascalientes, Ags. My earliest memories go back when I was 2 ½ years old. I remember the house we lived in had three steps down to get into the house when you come in from the street. Most houses in Mexico still have the main entrance door right before the sidewalk. I would always get scared when we came back to the house because the steps looked extremely high to me, and I was afraid I would fall though somebody always held my hand. Back then most houses had a washboard made of cement to waist high. Next to it, we had a beer looking barrel that was used as a water container for doing the wash. My older sisters would put me in there to give me a bath. Well, one day, my sisters forgot they had put me in it and hours later they found me asleep with my own poop by my chin.  Most houses back then had the bedrooms connected to each other so we could go to somebody`s bedroom through somebody else`s bedroom. I remember that one night I woke up at night and I started crying and went to my parent’s bedroom and my dad pick me up from one of my arms and I slept between the two of them. This has been a wonderful memory that I treasure in my heart because that was the last time as a child that I saw my parents together. The next thing I remember at that age is that my mom and dad got separated. My mom took me by the hand, and we left for Nuevo Laredo Tamaulipas a city bordering Laredo, TX. I`m assuming my parents agreed for me to go with her.

I spent half a year in Nuevo Laredo, Tamaulipas where my mom took me to a Child Care while she went to work. Two things took place that I can never forget. One day my mom and I were going to get something to eat, and we had to cross a street, I got a head of mom and I got runover by a man on a bicycle and broke my right ankle and ambulance took me to the nearest hospital. I had a cast put on, but it really did not hurt that much. But what I really liked the most is that while in the hospital they fed me well with a nice hot chicken soup. The other thing that took place is that I went to play at the house of one of my friends from Child Care. While there we started to play as if we had swords on our hands. To make it more real we decided to use an empty bottle each one of us and as we were playing I accidently (and I am being honest about it) hit him between the eyebrows that left him with a scar for the rest of his life. I still feel bad about it.

My mom got her residence to the States and worked in a hospital as an assistant nurse taking care of people with tuberculosis while I stayed with my uncle Manuel and his family in Nuevo Laredo, Tamaulipas. She would come over to see me every weekend. Then she took me across with a permit and we lived in Laredo, TX near the hospital.

During all that year I kept telling mom that I wanted to go back to my dad. She finally agreed and sent me back with Uncle Francisco one of her brothers who had come for a visit. My mom gave him plenty of money, but he chose the cheapest transportation- third class on the train. He did not buy any food for neither of us. He just gave me water. We finally made it back to Aguascalientes (known by the local people as “Aguas”) Happy to see my dad and my brothers and sisters.

My grandfather Agapito on my dad’s side had passed away before my parents separated. My grandmother Ildefonsa, then a widow and seeing there was a need in my family without my mom. She decided to invest her time and money to help my dad. We always called her “Mamá Poncha”.

Even though my dad worked in construction, we never owned a house. My dad rented 13 houses as I was growing up. My parents were separated and never got a divorce. That gave us kids the liberty to ask each one of our parents to let us live with one of them one or more years at a time.  My 3 older brother and sisters stayed with mom for few years. Only my younger brother Armando and I grew up together as kids.

The next event in my life began to take place when I was 7 years old. I always had a great time with the neighbor kids on the streets. In the 50’s there were not that many cars in town, especially at that time. We would play at night after supper like from 8:30 pm until 11:00 pm when all parents began telling everybody that it was time to go to bed.

Back then the weather was nice like 75° F max. Everybody had to have blankets every night because temperature would drop to like in low 40’s.  I remember attending a Catholic school and having to wear all year, a uniform which included a sweater. All privet schools had their own uniforms. The only time when we would sweat was when we played full court basketball. Nobody had an air condition or heaters. We just added more blankets in the wintertime and wore a heavy jacket. No heaters in schools either. The temperature back then would drop to like the coldest 28° F. I have not gotten used to the hot weather yet. But now that there are more factories, more population, more cars, more pavement, etc. the temperature has gone up. Things have really changed.

One of the first things That I remember at that age, is that every morning my grandma would wake me up at 5:30 am so I could go to the “Lechería y Panadería” (Milk and Bakery) to get milk. It was only 3 blocks away and I was always the first one at the door before the owner. Sometimes I even bit the milk man. He had the milk in steel cans well covered. He carried all of that on a cart pulled by a mule who was trained to pull the milk cart right to the milk store while the farmer would always sleep all the way. I miss that row milk. My grandma would always boil it well for about 15 minutes and as it cooled down it would create a thick yellowish cream which I was allowed to use like butter.

Now that we are talking about food, I would like to mention that my generation and the one before it, had a special meal practice that is not in use anymore. We ate 5 meals a day.

Desayuno (Breakfast) at 7:00 am                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Almuerzo (Brunch) at 10: 30   during our school recess.                                                                                                                                                                                Comida (Lunch ) at 1:00 pm                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Merienda (Lopper) at 6:00 pm                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Cena (Supper) at 8:00 pm

For school recess, I always took 2 rolls made especially in Aguascalientes like the pictures billow filled with different things each day like: scramble eggs mixed with beans or meat, etc. Explaining all these things is already making me hungry!!! Why am I torturing myself this way???

 

Three of my aunts had gone into an enclosed convent for women located in Rincón Street. That meant, that as soon as they went inside, they agreed to marry Christ Jesus and serve him inside. They would not be allowed to be seen by any outsider, except by tree people: the priest, the family doctor and the altar boy and they would never come out until their dead, and that is exactly what happen.

The last one was still alive when I was 7 yrs. old. She would encourage me to be a priest but that I had to start being an altar boy. So that is what I did. Every morning a priest would go to that convent to officiate mass for the nuns. They had a small chapel where outside people could attend. It had a thick curtain so no one could see them. They had a beautiful choir. I started learning some Latin because that is the way it was at that time. After the priest commanded Jesus to come down and die, (for that is what they believe) transubstantiation would take place. That means that at that moment the wafer and the wine would become the real body and blood of Christ. The priest would walk down the altar with the Chalise Then I would take a small platter with a handle to put under the chin of every nun as the came and knelt before the priest and the priest would stick a wafer in their mouth. The platter was to catch any crumbs which I would put in the Chalise along with some wine and the priest would drink it. Why??? because it is the Catholic belief that the crumbs must be eaten too because they are the body of Christ and do not want any crumbs fall to the floor because people could step on them, or rats could eat them. And to think that I used to believe that. I was really blind to the truth!!!

Well, the nuns had their faces uncovered but people could not see them because of the curtain. As they approached the priest for the wafer, I would stare at every face to see what my aunt looked like because I was sure she would make some kind of gesture. But she never did. That made me really sad.

Every Sunday afternoon we as a family were able to visit with her for half an hour through a window there was a thick cloth covering that window. We could only talk to her that way. There were not any chairs there. We would always ask her how she was doing, and she would always say she was happy and doing well. Sometimes that made me wonder if somebody was next to her with a knife forcing her to always answer that way.  She passed away in June 1960. Her name was Maria del Rosario. Well, I finally was able to see what she looked like as they had her in the casket. One interesting thing is that they said she died of a heart attack. Everybody believed that.  But that is what they would say for each one who died. No one would question it.

One time after school, when I was 8 yrs. old. two ladies who had a food stand called me as I was walking by, minding my own business. They had a problem, their dog had just died and wanted me to take it away and in return I would get a good amount of money. I agreed to that. They gave me a rope and I tied it around the dog’s neck and dragged him all the way to an empty lot, few blocks away. Well, what I did not know is that the owner of that lot knew the dog because he was one of the customers to those ladies and he complained to them, and they had to dispose of the dog in a different way. Next day, as usual, I went by that food stand again, and they complained about the situation. I told them that I had done to what I agreed to do, “to take the dog away”. From there on, they never even looked at me.

Only one time in my whole entire life, I skipped school. Two other kids invited me to just skip school. I wanted to find out what kids did during that time. Well, we just wonder around not far from school, and we got bored. Just then a lady asked us if we were interested in making some money. We asked what we had to do and found out that it was crushing nut shells and take the meat out. The more we worked at it the more money we made. Well, it was good to make some money, but it was not good for my conscience. I evaluated that and decided it was not the right thing to do and that it was not worth it.

After this incident, during that summer, something got to me, and I started to leave the house at around 7:00 am and would return at around midnight. I did that every day. My dad would go to bed at latest 10:00 pm so he never found out about it. I spent all my time playing with other kids my age. In those days nobody would harm any children. Even drunkers would protect any kid and would try to help him. Well, my grandma would spank me but that did not do it. They tried to stop me by tying to my feet and my arms to my bed, but I managed to get loose. They were running out of options. One day I thought, “one of these days they might lock the door and then I won’t be able to go out” and I hid an extra key behind a picture. Sure enough. they locked the door. (back then nobody would lock doors night or day) Well, after breakfast I used the key and got out again. I got back at mid-night and my grandma was waiting for me. This time she did not spank me or scold me. She just said: “Go wash your hands I got you a steak ready for you, the way you like it “. That really hit me, and I wept while I was washing my hands. I then realized that I had not being behaving well, That I was being rebellious and that I had no reason to be. That also meant that they had given up on me and I did not want that. My grandma was always there for me. How could I have been doing this to her. She was not only my grandma but my mom too because she raised me. (I am weeping as I am writing this incident) I decided not to go out of the house without their permission anymore. It is a good thing I made that decision because the following morning I could not get up and felt totally exhausted.  The doctor came to the house and said I was malnourished, and I had to stay in bed for a week.

Then one of the neighbor kids told me he had just started to sell jellies with different flavors to people working at a wood factory just 3 blocks away at 5:30 am every morning. So, I asked permission and was allowed to do it. I did that for a while until I turned 9. I always wanted to have my own money though we kids got an allowance every Sunday morning from my dad.

One day, I noticed that trash cans were full of paper from classrooms after classes and I decided that I could make some money with that. I picked it all up and put it in a big bag and carried it for seven blocks away to a recycle place where I got good money for it.

The nuns at school would always emphasize missions according to their theology. They got us involved in adopting a child from Africa and sponsor him for his needs giving a certain amount each week. We then would become godfathers. (the school was only for boys) It was during that time when I read about a tribal group on the tip of South America, in Tierra de Fuego. An island shared by Chile and Argentina. There I read the hard life of these uncivilized people. It said that they were naked while icebergs were floating around the island. That got me thinking about missions. I began to have a desire to serve my God the way I knew him. I began to read a lot of biographies of priests who were used by God. Keep in mind that the only teaching I had as a child was withing the Catholic school. I had no idea there were other people who had different believes. I thought the Catholic Church was the only Church in the world and that everybody was Catholic. I soon learned that the Catholic Church did not allow anybody to read the Bible. I did not know what the Bible was or what it looked like. I was told that if I read it or even see one that I would go to hell.

One important time for people from Aguascalientes City, is the State Fair. This picture was copied from: liderempresarial.com

 

 

 

This State Fair is the only one in the whole Country of Mexico where it takes place in an open area in Town and there is no charge to get in. It last basically 2 weeks. It celebrates Patron Saint Mark, patron saint of the suburb of the same name. April 25th is the patron’s day, but the State Fair starts one week before and ends one week after.

It was during these two weeks that I would have the opportunity to buy pancakes because it was the only time of the year that some lady had a stand in the fair. At that time nobody knew how to make them and only few people knew about them.

It was during this time that I would make some money. We lived right across the Saint Mark’s church where the State Fair would take place. Only the sidewalk divided the State Fair and our house. There was no pavement on that area and all the stands that were set up needed water to spray the dirt floor to keep the dust down. That was when I would do business with them. My dad would buy the news paper every day and rather than throwing it away I would save it all year around and then at that time of the year I would sell it for fairly good money. Every year, people would come from different parts of the Country and set up stands, selling different souvenirs, knick-knacks, keepsakes, etc. and needed something cheap to wrap the things they would sell. There was always a way to make some money in an honest way.

three things I remember well about my generation and wish it were put into practice today, “obedience, respect for the adults and adults acting like adults”.  When my grandma or my dad or even my older sister would call me, they did not have to call me twice. They never had to say “Javier, didn’t you hear me?”. Or for me to say, “just a minute!” I would always say “Coming” and mean it. “Mande Usted”. Meaning “At your command”. I would never say: why me? why don’t you send Armando? No, I would always do what I was asked to and glad to do it. In those days, all kids with very few exceptions, would obey and respect adults. Of course, adults acted like adults with very few being the exception.

When I turned 9 years old, I wanted to ride a bicycle but at that time I did not have one for my size. So, Salvador Guerra who was 16 years old and dating my older sister Amparo, taught me to ride an adult bicycle by peddling sideways. That was the way basically all kids my age learned in those days.

Salvador started to work at a welding shop and got me a job there after school. I got $ 1.00 Peso for every afternoon. I would basically clean the shop around and would run some errands. Monday – Friday meant $6 pesos a week. Back then things did not cost that much, and prices did not go up every year like today. With $1.00 Peso I would ride the bus, go to the movies, buy an order of tacos and a Pepsi Cola. That was the original name and the most popular soda in Mexico. In fact, that was the only soda my dad drank all his life. I want to do the same. What $1.00 peso could buy, now I would need $100.00 Pesos. Converting that into USD at $19.00 to $1.00 = $5.26 US. Which means that today those $6.00 Pesos would be $600.00 pesos. So, 600 divided at 19 to 1 =$31.57 weekly. Making it $126.28 monthly. Not bad for a kid my age.

One Saturday morning there was not much to do around the shop, and I thought I do a flip on a tall dolly holding an acetylene tank. What I did not realize is that the container was empty, and the acetylene tank fell on me and hit me on my head and knocked me out. One of the guys standing nearby me and who went by “El chichimeca” rushed me to a doctor half a block away. Salvador ran to my house 7 blocks away to let my family know what had taken place. In those days we did not have a phone and only few people did. In fact. very few businesses had one. I walked up with a bump on my head, but the doctor said I was ok. From there on I learned my lesson not to play in the shop.

The catholic school that my brother Armando and I were attending required all students to attend the 5:30 am mass and have the priest signed his name on a card indicating that one had attended church. All of us kids walked to church at that time when everything was still dark. Our parents and us had no fear because crime at that time was down to zero. Those good old days when nobody locked their doors.                                                                                            Well, then I discovered that I could make more money by being an altar boy. They would pay $1.00 for every mass including the night church service. That was something I had an experience on, was really good at and enjoyed doing it. I then offered my services and was accepted to start the following morning. Every mass lasted 30 minutes which meant that I could do four every morning seven days a week. I did my arithmetic 7 x 4 = $28.00 Pesos a week.  The equivalent to $2,800.00 Pesos today. At 19 to 1 would be $147.36. USD. That amount four times a month would be $589.34USD.                          I was the head altar boy and was able to choose the extra events I wanted to be involved in. Weddings, three times a month. Baptisms, three times a week. All of that meant extra money. It was costumery to tip the altar boy. Right after the wedding, I would hurry and run through the side door to the entrance of the church where the happy couple was just coming out followed by the wedding party, especially the best man, Why? because he was the one who had to look good before people and I would kindly tell him in front of the newlywed couple or either of their parents so as to put a little pressure. The more pressure the bigger the tip. I usually got a $10.00 Pesos Tip which is an equivalent to $1,000.00 Pesos today. That amount at 19 to 1 would be $52.63 USD. That amount times four for a month, $210.52USD. Now for the baptisms at nighttime. Right there where the baptism had just taken place, I would indicate with my eyes to the godfather of the child that I was ready for my tip. Everybody was looking at him and would always feel the pressure which was great for me. He then would grab a bag with coins and would give a handful. That was usually $3.00 Pesos. Today it would be $300.00 Pesos four times a month would be 1200.00 Pesos. At 19 to 1 would be $63:15USD.  Immediately after I got my tip, I would run to the altar boy’s room and change to my regular clothes and run outside to wait for everybody involved in the infant baptism, especially the god father who would through coins at all the kids symbolizing prosperity for the child. The name given in Mexico is “Bolo” and that is what kids say to the god father so he can throw all the coins at them, and all kids would pick up as many coins as they could. I usually got at least $2.00 Pesos. That in dollars today would be $10.52 USD. That amount four times a month would be $42.08USD

Working at the shop     $126.15                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       As an altar boy              $589.34                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Weddings                       $210.52                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Baptisms                         $63:15                                                                                                                                                                                                     Bolo                                 $ 42.08                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Total monthly            $1,031.24 USD This would be the equivalent for today.

I did this until I was 11 years old because my brother Armando and I went to live with mom for a year. I started to buy my own clothes, kept some for spending and rest I would just give it to my grandma. By the way, my brother Armando sang in the choir in the same church and would get $1.00 Peso for each Sunday morning.