Fun memories of Dad, from the Children

A memory of dad by Kenley: I remember I went to the store with dad. Grandpa Lee was in town and had asked dad to get him a can of Copenhagen. Dad was hesitant but agreed. We were in Christine Laws’s line, and when she saw that dad was buying a can of Copenhagen, she about fainted. Dad commented, “I told grandpa he should come to buy his own Copenhagen.” About that time we hear, I heard that Ken and dad looked up and it was Aunt Verda, then we hear, I am here to Ken it was Aunt Barbara Certonio. Dad was so embarrassed!

Memory by Natalie: One-time, dad was getting ready to go to church. He had put some chapstick on and did not know it had some color to it. His lips were dry, so he used a lot of it. Fortunately, before dad got out of the house, mom noticed that dad had something pink smeared all over his lips. He looked a little bit like the Joker on Batman, so mom started laughing. When dad looked in the mirror, he started laughing and stated he had put on some cherry chapstick and had no idea it would color his lips! How funny. Good thing he did not leave the house this way!

Memory by Beverly: One-time dad was giving the Priesthood lesson at church, he quoted Hartman Rector Jr., but instead of saying Hartman Rector, he said Hartman Rectum, whoops!!!!

Memory by Saralee: One evening, dad went to go turn the water off in the garden and noticed a skunk was eating the cat food by the gate, so dad thought he could scare it away. The skunk puffed up and hissed and did like a charge at him. This scared grandpa so much he let out a high pitched scream!

What I Learned

I hope my kids take pride in my military experiences and achievements as I did with my grandparents who served. They are no longer with me, but I keep their memory alive by thinking about them; without their service I may have never joined. The Marine Corps truly made me the man I am today. My work ethic and demeanor, the places I got to see, the things I got to do, the people I got to meet—these are the things I’ll always look back on in admiration of, more than just earning an honorable discharge. I would like my kids to know that securing the safety of our country is an honorable task, that America was, is, and always will be worth fighting for. 

One way I would put it is that it’s an experience I would not trade for a million dollars but also never do again for a million dollars. It is life changing; you’re glad you did it but man was it tough. There’s nobody that goes into the military, puts in their best effort, and comes out a worse person. Especially in the Marine Corps because it’s the most disciplined branch, people come out with a better work ethic and attitude. Everybody that I went in and out with—I check up on periodically—is doing great now. No matter how big or small, any American who’s willing to put in their best efforts, will get something out of serving and become a better person for it. 

To get the most out of that, I believe all Americans, especially veterans, need to keep up that drive. It’s easy in the military because of so many outside factors influencing you, but as soon as you get out you’re a civilian again, you’re on your own. What’s important is to maintain the drive to keep getting better for your career, health, or relationships. Keep pushing yourself to do the best you can even outside of military service. 

What drove me in the military was my competitiveness. I’ve always been competitively driven, but compared to when I was younger, that drive is much more focused now. I put a lot more thought and effort into everything I did because I realized I didn’t want to make a career out of being a Marine. I wanted to do my deployments, do my four years and get out. Because of that, I wanted to make the most of those four years. So, I thought: why not push as hard as I can, leaving very little to regret when I look back, so I could believe I truly did everything to accomplish my goals. As well as helping train the future marines that would take my place. I kept them accountable and focused just as my seniors did to me. 

What I do have looking back is how I changed from all those experiences. My deployments to the Middle East were my first time outside the U.S., and they gave me a broader understanding of the world. It’s easy to think the world’s very small before you see all these different cultures and customs. 

Seeing that, I give effort to appreciate all the little things even when the days are monotonous. The testing and training from my senior marines helped me always put forth my best effort no matter the situation, so that even in times of suffering I’m able to laugh it off and move forward. Besides, some unpleasant things, some miserable tasks, you can’t avoid them, so why not get them done with a positive attitude and laugh it off? Even when it seems impossible to be optimistic, I try to be.

Effort and accomplishments. I think the biggest accomplishment I obtained while in the service was earning the rank of Non-Commissioned Officer. I was promoted to corporal in only two and a half years, which is really good especially in the infantry. 

Many do not move up so fast. Once I got in the Marine Corps. I knew I wanted to lead, so getting promoted to a leadership rank and being placed into a leadership billet so early was a personal accomplishment for me. Another accomplishment includes earning a couple meritorious masses, which is essentially an honorable mention. This was during my infantry leaders’ course and a division school for mortarmen while I was still pretty fresh, competing against NCOs as a lance corporal right after my first deployment. It gave me a great deal of confidence outperforming these guys who had been in much longer than I had, at this point. Another personal victory was earning a perfect 300 on the Physical Fitness Test. 

In high school I definitely wasn’t the biggest, strongest, or fastest. Therefore, getting a perfect score on an annual marine fitness test was something I never thought I’d ever accomplish, especially considering how strict marine fitness standards are. 

One more thing I have to say is I got lucky, many go into the infantry and do not get to deploy into the areas I visited. I was able to use my training where some never got the opportunity. While war is never good, these experiences can be lessons and those moments are the ones I will remember the rest of my life. Along with the marines who were with me along the way.

Deployments

Not everyone will experience the same things on deployments, even my first and second had vastly different missions. My first deployment had been in a combat area—Kajaki, Afghanistan. There were a lot more patrols going out, as well as helping and gaining information from the local community. We acted as an outreach and security group. 

But, during my second deployment, we were more of a reaction force, a Special Purpose Marine Air Ground Task Force (SPMAGTF). Events like Benghazi shaped our mission into this and we operated as a TRAP force, meaning Tactical Rescue of Air Personnel. In that time of 2014-2015 we were doing many bombing runs, operating from a base where a large number of aircraft carriers were going out of. If an aircraft went down—and one did—we were the ones deployed to rescue them. On base, it was a lot of training and waiting while maintaining readiness. 

Compared to my first deployment, we didn’t move around as much’ we weren’t really in a combat zone. But if there was a general or a high priority U.S. representative, we had to escort them either around base or in an aircraft carrier to another region. Two deployments, two different missions: one a security and outreach force, other a reactionary and rescue force. 

Different missions exposed me to different leaders. I always tried to be an honest leader, never sugarcoating anything. And like my own seniors did for me, I would lead by example. I did all the things I made my juniors marines do, setting the bar and trying to be the best to consistently test their knowledge and abilities—infantry mindset, gun drills, and squad tactics. But I didn’t want to be too hard; at the end of the day, we’re not just Marines but people as well. It was hard enough that they were prepared for whatever but still was open enough for dialogue about concerns and questions. Having a listening ear and being empathetic—my own seniors weren’t like that, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I tried to be towards my guys because I was in their position not too long ago.

I remember the transition from a boot, which is what we called junior marines, to a senior marine with a leadership billet. The evolution all infantry marines go through, at least on their first contract. In the Marine Corps infantry, you’re a “boot” up until your first deployment. Once you make it through that first deployment and come back, you have guys above you get out due to their contracts ending and new marines coming in for their first work up. You switch roles right away. The longer you stay the more guys that are under you, so you need to be more on top of things. 

I finished my first deployment in the fall of 2013 and got my new Marines not long after. My unit at the time 3rd BN 4th Marines was actually being disbanded a few months after coming back from Afghanistan. At this time the Marine Corps was downsizing and marines from my unit were displaced to other infantry units. It was hard seeing a lot of guys I spent the last 2 years training and fighting beside get orders to different places. 

I ended up in 2nd BN 7th Marines which was still in 29 Palms and their barracks were located right across the street from where I was. I was sent to them halfway through their work up at the time. Between getting back, attending an infantry leadership course, and getting orders to a unit with new marines that were already deep in their training; left me little down time. However, it prepared me for being a better marine and leader going into 2/7.

The Brotherhood

While in the military, nothing helped me overcome challenges more than the camaraderie I had with my fellow Marines. I truly believe suffering together is the single most bonding experience you can have with other people. Even when times seemed harsh, even when it sucked, I could rely on the guys to my left and right to have my six: “Hey, we’re all doing this together. We’re all in this together. We have each other.” 

I still have very close relationships with my buddies in the Marine Corps. When there were periods of down time for personal activity, I would often work out and it became almost therapeutic for me. I work out pretty consistently today, but it’s a habit and a hobby I started doing in the Marine Corps. It is obviously tough, even just to find the motivation some days. But the best things for you are the hardest things to do. That’s what I believe at least, and again this mindset stems from my experiences and interactions from both infantry units I served with. 

I still try to maintain good communication with some of the guys I have served with. The company I was assigned with on my second deployment (2/7) has a Facebook group that people post regularly on. One of my platoon commanders, Lt. Culver (Capt. now), messages me now and then, usually around my birthday and the holidays. I have buddies in Houston and Dallas who I try to see every time I’m in the area. Unfortunately, my unit has lost a few marines shortly after getting out. Which is why I try to check in with as much of these guys as I can. 

One of the greatest feelings we got to share together is coming home from that first deployment. I remember almost not knowing what to do with myself with all this time off after seven months of non-stop work. It was surreal, suddenly being on leave, having freedom. It was the little things—going on a drive, having a beer with friends—that I noticed myself enjoying so much more because of how hard life was for me just a few months ago. You tend to not appreciate things as much until they are taken away. It was all very humbling; there is far less I take for granted now.

Leadership and First Times

Leadership and first times—Reminds me of Sergeant Peters, probably the first marine I was accompanied to the fleet by. I truly admire him now, though I didn’t think so back then. As my squad leader, Sergeant Peters was extremely tough on us. There was borderline hazing going on. But looking back, I came to understand why he did the things he did over the course of our workup and my first deployment with him. 

I came to understand why Sergeant Peters was so competitive, always striving to be first during gun drills, ruck marches, battalion runs, anything. It wasn’t to make us like him; it was so we could survive, be better trained individuals and accomplish what we set out to do. I have respect for him as a leader because I realized he was trying to elevate us to his standard, showing leaders are put into that position for their ability to outperform. It showed me that he wasn’t just given the rank of Sergeant or the billet of squad leader for nothing. He had earned it because of how good he was at his job, as a leader should. 

Sergeant Peters and I became close during my first deployment in Kajaki, Afghanistan. We had a lot of brotherly moments I still remember today. He was truly one of the best marines among us, and I aspire to stay as competitive as him no matter my position in life.  

I also remember a different type of leader—1st Sgt Dickinson. During my time in Third Battalion, Fourth Marines he had this disdain for us. Unlike Sergeant Peters who was showing us tough love, our new 1st Sgt did not show us any. 

I remember on our deployment he had a minor injury from simply working out and he immediately requested to go back to the U.S. mainland and end it there. It seemed more like an excuse to get out of the deployment, but I was just happy he wasn’t going to be around anymore. I realized for the first time that not all leaders deserve their title and authority. Most do, but a few slip through the cracks and 1st Sgt Dickinson was one of them. But the majority of my leadership in the Marine Corps was good.

No matter who is in charge you need to be able to work with them and adjust. The Marine Corps threw me in many different environments of learning, training, and operating that being flexible is one skill you quickly pick up. The biggest adjustments for me came with my first deployment. 

What I remember most about that experience is the exhaustive work schedule. We were on this rotation. Six hours of standing post, usually at our Forward Operating Base’s (FOB) entry control point. Which is mentally exhausting because during that time you have to be fully alert. Then, six hours of reaction force. During this period whatever command needed done, we were the squad to carry it out. This included security patrols, resupplies, intelligence briefings, or any work needed done around the FOB. If you were lucky your reaction time landed sometime at night, when it was mostly quiet. If you were unlucky you got spun up for a medevac. 

Most medevacs were for Afghan locals that got caught up in IEDs or small arms fire by invading Taliban forces. Any locals brought to our ECP, we did our best to treat them and if it was serious enough send them to a larger allied base with better medical supplies. After you rotated off of the reaction force you were on your rest cycle. This was essentially time those marines had to themselves without getting messed with by command. 

Sleep is a valuable resource on deployment so anytime it was available we all tried to take advantage of it. The mental stress of being in a combat zone was always there: constantly being observant and aware of possible IEDs during patrols, suicide bombers while standing post, and ambushes while conducting resupplies or medevacs. 

Working through all that was tough, but it definitely helped me handle such situations better. Especially now, I tend to look back at what my mind and body has had to overcome during those times, and that helps give me confidence for anything I choose to achieve later in life.

“Why Not the Marines?”

I’ve always wanted to join the military. It was a big part of my family. Both of my grandfathers served; one was in the Air Force during World War II and the Korean War, and the other was in the Army for the Korean War. The interest was there but I was still on the fence about it going into high school. Senior year, though, I was initially rejected from the college I had applied to. I was devastated but still wanted a way to get out of my hometown.

If it wasn’t college, I figured it was the military. I teetered between the Army and the Navy, but my brother told me, “Hey, man, if you’re gonna do it, why not go into the marines?” The Marine Corps—the toughest branch. If I were to serve, that’s where I would do it. Barely a week after I met my recruiter, I was signing papers and looking at pamphlets. I was in for a challenge.

As soon as I got off the bus onto the yellow footprints of boot camp I was expected to just do, not think. Obey. Trust the people in charge. The entire goal is to break you down and then build you back up until you earn the title of “Marine.” It was very different from how I grew up, where I was always questioning a lot of things. It was very hard, but I quickly adapted and overcame.

The first week in boot camp I didn’t sleep much. I was settling in, doing this and that, constantly on my feet. Everything was physically demanding. After completing boot camp, I was sent to the School of Infantry (SOI). Which specializes in infantry training and where they designate your job within the infantry, I was placed with the mortarmen. Years later I came back to SOI for Advanced Mortars Course where I learned to lead mortarmen. Except now I was older, wiser and had to master everything about the weapon system: forward observing (FO), fire direction control, gun drills.

Every morning I was doing PT with flack and Kevlar, running for miles carrying water jugs, ammo, and weapons. I felt truly challenged, both physically and mentally. Because not everyone passes and I was going to do whatever it took for that to not be me, in fact half of the class we started with did not even make it to graduation. But in the end, I persevered and finished the course.

The Peck name

I must start somewhere, and this story seems to be the best.  It is January 2021, the year that I turn 80.  My first story begins with my two granddaughters, Olivia Rose and Eva Katherine Nienhouse.  Both are creative in their own way.  Olivia Rose is a working actor and music teacher, and Eva is a writer and videographer.  First Olivia, then Eva a year later, told me that they have taken on the professional name of Peck, my maiden name.  It moved me to write the following message to them:

“Hi, I’m just filled with love.  I know my parents are looking down and are pleased.  Let me tell you about my dad, William Samuel Peck.  He was a man who spent his life taking care of others.

His father, Samuel Danuel Peck, died when Dad was about 20 and his kid brother, my Uncle Roger, was only 4.  So Dad devoted his next 15 years or so taking care of his mother and little brother.  That included the time that he married my mother and that I was born.  We all lived together.

Then came WW2 and Dad was uncertain if his number would come up to be drafted.  He did not enlist because my mom, me, Roger, and his mother were all dependents.  They had to sell their house in Grand Rapids in case he was drafted.  Grandma and Roger moved into their own rental home in 1943 or so, when I was about 2.  Mom and Dad and I moved to a rental home in Wyoming Park, where we lived when my sister Judy was born in 1944.

Uncle Roger is still alive: 90 years old, fairly healthy, and we stay in touch.  He considers my dad as his father and mentions it often.

My mom became sick with Porphyria when I was 8 and was in the hospital for a few months.  She never became totally healthy for the rest of her life.  When I was 12 and Judy was 9, Mom was hospitalized again with lupus, and spent 3 months at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.  She came home just before Christmas, driven in an ambulance from Rochester.  Dad had missed months of work and then had a huge Mayo bill to slowly pay off.  He never accepted an offered administrative position; he worked as a tool and die maker until he retired.

Your mother can remember him, as she was 23 when he died of an aortic aneurysm in 1989.  My mother had died in 1978, also of an aortic aneurysm.  (Yes, I’ve been xrayed and all is OK)”

 

 

The Peck name

I must start somewhere, and this story seems to be the best.  It is January 2021, the year that I turn 80.  My first story begins with my two granddaughters, Olivia Rose and Eva Katherine Nienhouse.  Both are creative in their own way.  Olivia Rose is a working actor and music teacher, and Eva is a writer and videographer.  First Olivia, then Eva a year later, told me that they have taken on the professional name of Peck, my maiden name.  It moved me to write the following message to them:

“Hi, I’m just filled with love.  I know my parents are looking down and are pleased.  Let me tell you about my dad, William Samuel Peck.  He was a man who spent his life taking care of others.

His father, Samuel Danuel Peck, died when Dad was about 20 and his kid brother, my Uncle Roger, was only 4.  So Dad devoted his next 15 years or so taking care of his mother and little brother.  That included the time that he married my mother and that I was born.  We all lived together.

Then came WW2 and Dad was uncertain if his number would come up to be drafted.  He did not enlist because my mom, me, Roger, and his mother were all dependents.  They had to sell their house in Grand Rapids in case he was drafted.  Grandma and Roger moved into their own rental home in 1943 or so, when I was about 2.  Mom and Dad and I moved to a rental home in Wyoming Park, where we lived when my sister Judy was born in 1944.

Uncle Roger is still alive: 90 years old, fairly healthy, and we stay in touch.  He considers my dad as his father and mentions it often.

My mom became sick with porferia (sp) when I was 8 and was in the hospital for a few months.  She never became total healthy for the rest of her life.  When I was 12 and Judy was 9, Mom was hospitalized again with lupus, and spent 3 months at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.  She came home just before Christmas, driven in an ambulance from Rochester.  Dad had missed months of work and then had a huge Mayo bill to slowly pay off.  He never accepted an offered administrative position; he worked as a tool and die maker until he retired.

Your mother can remember him, as she was 23 when he died of an aortic aneurysm in 1989.  My mother had died in 1978, also of an aortic aneurysm.  (Yes, I’ve been xrayed and all is OK)”

 

Howard & Howard II

My BOAZ……. my Redeemer sent straight to me. Read the book of Ruth in the Bible in the Old Testament. Boaz is described as a worthy man (Ruth 2:1) who believed in the Lord (Ruth 2:4).

My Dear Grandchildren, let me tell you about the Love of my Life, your grandfather, and how “My Heavenly Father” put us together. He is Worthy; he is a Protector; he is a Provider; he is Observant; he is Compassionate; he is a Man of Integrity. These are the characteristics of Howard Harrell. (Dindem)

When Lonnie and I married and bought the house, he insisted we get insurance. His words, “the kind that pays off the house if something happens to me,” did he know or feel that he would not be here with us? The insurance salesperson was a very nice young white guy just starting to sell insurance. His name was Charlie Easton. Charlie and Lonnie hit it off well from the start. After Lonnie’s death, I was working shift work, and Charlie was still working with me with insurance and other investments; he suggested that with two children, I should get a job where I could control my working hours. He told me Real Estate would be better and more exciting than selling insurance. I have always been shy, especially when I don’t know people. Most people are surprised when I say that I am shy. So, going into sales had never crossed my mind, and I did not think it would be a good fit for me.

I had struggled after Lonnie passed, with all I had facing me. I am so independent I didn’t reach out to family or friends. I felt that I had to do this on my own. I was 35 years old; surely, I could do this. I tell myself that I am strong and I am not a depressed type of person. I always get up and start over again. I was tired of working nights and doing factory work. I had never thought about selling Real Estate, so I researched. Real Estate is very lucrative, and the salary is unlimited when the interest rates are in the proper range. The annual interest rate reached 13.74% in 1980; in 1981, the 16.63% interest rate was and still is Freddie Mac’s largest recorded figure. Not many houses were selling at the time. But being in the Denbigh area with so many military personnel, a realtor could make a living out of it. I knew I had to have a license and pass a state exam. Also, I had heard that the exam was challenging, but there is a Real Estate school I could attend to help me pass the state exam.

Lonnie Sr and I had taken out insurance on ourselves and the house. In talking with Charlie, the insurance company recommended that I not pay the house off. I should invest the insurance money and continue making payments on the house. The insurance money was insufficient for me and my two children to live. I knew I had to work, but my work was frustrating, and the hours were horrible.

I quit my job at Dow and enrolled in the Marshalls Real Estate School. Aunt Mae kept Lonnie Jr. so I could study, and I spent every second studying and going to class to take that test. I was the only student who passed with 100% in the class. The instructor said I was the first to get 100% in his class throughout his teaching years. When I took the State exam, I passed it on the first try. Several people took it at least twice, sometimes as many as four times before passing. My cousin Michael Taliaferro had to take it twice; he initially told me he had passed because he didn’t want to make me nervous about taking the exam. After I passed it, he told me he had to retake it.

So now I have a Real Estate license, and sometime in January 1980, I signed a contract to be an Associate Real Estate Sales Agent at Blanks Realty on Warwick Blvd. in Newport News, VA. The interest rate was 13%. I had no idea that my Life was about to change dramatically.

Let me tell you our “how we met story.” Dindem and I did not meet by chance, and no one introduced us. It was divine intervention. I was working as a Real Estate Agent, and he was moving to his new duty station at Ft Eustis, VA. He was looking for an apartment, and the second apartment complex he stopped at, heading south on Warwick Blvd, was Blanks Realty, where I was working. I did not rent him the apartment; he had rented it a few days earlier. When his household goods arrived, they found they could not get the large sofa up the stairs, which had a slight curve. I came into the picture when he called the office inquiring if we had storage space for rent. I was on floor duty that day. In Real Estate offices in Virginia, a licensed agent must be available to talk to clients who call about the advertised property. They also answer the phone in the receptionist’s absence. Howard called when the receptionist was at lunch, and I answered. Had he called a few minutes before or after the time he called, I would not have answered the telephone. So, you see, this is how I know that whatever was going on in our lives back then, we were meant to be together.

As a salesperson, I took his information and told him we did not have storage, so I suggested he buy a house for his oversized sofa. Well, that started a conversation that would last over 42 years as of this date.

We talked for hours by phone for about two or more weeks. At the end of that time, we knew all the details of each other’s Life. Neither of us was looking for nor expecting a relationship at that time. When we met face to face, it was like getting back with an old friend. He just walked into my Life with that Big old Smile, and nothing has been the same. We have been together ever since, nothing but God. God showed me what he could do when I stopped and listened to him. Dindem remembers June 12, 1980, as the date we met face to face.

When we met, Howard had one biological child, Howard II, who lived with his Mother. There are some stepchildren, so young Howard has four half-sisters and a brother. I would rather not use the term half or step when discussing siblings; we do not use it in our home. I needed to ensure everyone understood that Howard Sr. only had one biological child. Since this is my story, I am not going into any detail about anyone else. I will let Howard tell his own story.

At the beginning of our relationship, I invited him over for dinner so that he could meet Karen and Lonnie. I thought of something simple and made pork chops with gravy, mashed potatoes, and string beans. He came over, and we had dinner; the visit went well. He met Karen and Lonnie. A few weeks later, he invited me and Lonnie to his place for dinner. He made the same thing I had cooked: pork chops with gravy, mashed potatoes, and string beans. The only difference was that his gravy tasted like no gravy I had ever had. It was so good after my first taste I thought he must have felt my gravy was awful. Even though we talked and told each other about ourselves, he did not tell me he was a master chef. I went on and on about his gravy, and soon after we were married, he showed me how to make it. So today, I am a master gravy maker upon other things he has taught me how to cook.

Well, your Dindem and Grammy are Soulmates. From the moment we met, we had a special relationship. We liked each other, talked about everything, and wanted to be together. We have been together ever since. Every day, every Birthday, and holiday, days into months, months into years, we have a stronger connection with each day. We are so suited for each other that even our names join into a name of their own. The first three letters of our first names, HowMar. Howard & Martha.

He first fell in love with Lonnie, only 2 1/2  years old; Dindem loves babies. Lonnie loved him from the first time he saw him and was happy to be around a man. Trying to get my Real Estate career going with interest rates of 10 to 18% was hard. Sometimes, I needed help with Lonnie, and he was delighted to step in. He picked Lonnie up from daycare, and they got to know each other, which started a bond they still have today.

Karen was a senior in high school when we met. She and Howard were okay; she was a teenage girl used to being just her and her mother. Karen was 14 when I married Lonnie Sr., and I don’t think she was too into doing this again. She tried to keep her distance, but they were the same sign. They both are Taurus, and Howard could read her from day one. We had a lot to work on in that department, but as I write this, I can tell you he is her Dad. They have developed a strong bond over the years. It was not easy; like most things, it didn’t happen overnight. We all had to work at it. We had to work on everything to keep our relationship strong. When you have a relationship with God, Satan will always tempt you to go the wrong way. There were three in this marriage: Howard, God, and me.

As our relationship developed, we had many discussions about his son. Not having young Howard was a situation he wanted to change, but at the time, he did not know how it would happen.

A few months after we were together, things worked so that Howard could get Young Howard. He was eight years old, and in third grade, I went with Howard when he picked him up and brought him to Newport News. He was so sweet and looked just like his dad. It was not hard for me to bond with him. His nickname was Poohby, short for Pooh Bear, but he soon asked us not to call him Poohby as he reached junior high school. So, I called him Howard; somehow, they both knew which one I wanted. We started referring to him as little Howard, but as he got older, he became bigger than his dad. Now, I always referred to him as Young Howard.

Poohby was enrolled in  Horace H. Epes Elementary School in third grade when he came to Newport News to live with his Father. For fourth grade, he went to Sanford Elementary School. Then we moved to Alaska.

As long as Lonnie can remember, young Howard has always been his big brother, and Howard has always been his dad. The four of us were inseparable and had so much fun together. The boys were like brothers; with six years between them, Young Howard went from being the baby to the oldest, but he didn’t seem to mind. Lonnie was only two years old when he met young Howard.

God has blessed us in this marriage. Everyone who met Howard loved him, especially the women in my Life. Steen, Aunt Mae, my girlfriends, and even the principal of the school where Young Howard attended, Mary Spells, went out of her way to help him get Young Howard into School. Mary was the president of the Black Professional Women’s Club, and I was a member. She had gotten to know him from Young Howard attending her school and was very impressed with this single young soldier wanting to raise his son. She was so happy to see that I was dating Howard.

Whenever I had doubts and talked with her, Mary was always in his corner and told me why. I didn’t believe him when he started talking about getting married. I had been there before. I wondered why he would want to get married to someone with a baby and a teen daughter. Even though we had grown close quickly, I was still not convinced we should get married. We both still had some serious things to work on.

I had to put my trust and faith in God that this was the right person for me and my children. As we discussed getting married one day, and I was still unconvinced, he just looked me in the eye and said, “I am not leaving here without you and Lonnie.” When I looked into his eyes, I didn’t see just him. I saw my today, my tomorrow, and my future for the rest of my Life. I said yes, knowing I would be stepping into “My Place in Time.” I had found my Soulmate. (Or did he find me?) Big Smile.

From the time we laid eyes on each other, there was not a day we were not together. I did go on a cruise in celebration of my 20-year class reunion a few weeks after we met for five days, and fifteen months later, on August 5, 1981, we were married at First Baptist Church in Denbigh/Newport News, VA. We put this family together, and eleven months later, we were on our way to Fairbanks, Alaska. Fairbanks is where we bonded and raised our boys, Howard ll, 10, and Lonnie, 4.

Briahnna, Jordan, Sadeyah, Mariyah, Trey, Trenton, Logan, Langston, and Lola. I am excited about this part. Because you, our grandkids, came in and changed our lives forever.

So now we are Mr. and Mrs. Harrell, and we are on our way to Fairbanks, Alaska, but first, we stopped in Dallas, Texas, for me to meet Dindem’s Family. His stepdad, Mr. Leon, as Dindem called him, and his Mother, Bessie. I adored his Mother; she was soft-spoken and kind and made me feel welcome. Dindem’s entire family welcomed me into the family. We were in Dallas for about a week.

Then we drove to San Francisco to see Lucille, my sister. It was my first trip to San Francisco, the first week in August, and we wore summer clothes. We had to get the winter clothes we had packed for Alaska because the weather in San Francisco was so cold in August. I enjoyed the visit with Lucille; her home was warm and cozy, and she had jazz music playing with the Fireplace lit. George, her husband, and her two sons, Ade and Akil, were there. We were there for a few days, then we drove to Seattle, Washington, and put the car on a ferry, and Dindem, me, and the boys (Howard  II and Lonnie) flew to Fairbanks, Alaska.

Karen had graduated high School in June of 1981 and was working for JC Penny as a Photographer in their Photography studio. Karen was working out of JCPenney stores in several states, driving to each one. We thought she was all set, so she was not going with us when Dindem and I married. Well, things did not work that way, and just after we married and were packing to move to Alaska, the job did not work out, and Karen returned home. Dindem said no problem, and he put her on his orders as a dependent, and we all started to Alaska by way of Dallas. While visiting Dindem’s Family in Dallas, Karen decides she does not want to go to Alaska. She wanted to go back to Virginia and be with her boyfriend. I did not think that was a good idea, but she insisted. When we had discussions, there were many. Your (GG) Grandma Bessie advised me to let her go and find out what would happen for herself; it may even work out. I wish I had been around Bessie when Karen was in high school and trying to decide what to do. Dindem said she could come later if she changed her mind. So, she took a bus back to Virginia. Bessie helped me immensely during that time; it clarified what Karen would do. Having someone there to give me a different opinion was new, and it felt good. For the first time, it felt like a mother talking to me, it was. I didn’t know it then, but I would later call her Mom.

On August 19, 1982, Dindem, young Howard, Lonnie, and I flew to Alaska. We talked to several people about living in Alaska, and I researched. But all I knew about Fairbanks was a lot of snow and cold. We were leaving Virginia in August, and the weather was about 80 degrees. The biggest thing we were excited about was the twenty-four-hour daylight.

When we moved to Fairbanks, Lonnie was four, and young Howard was ten. I can’t remember anything that bothered them; they both liked the snow and adapted nicely. They could sleep with the sun shining on their faces. I was so excited; this is what I had always wanted to do: travel to faraway places, and this was as far away as it gets.

Our sponsors from Fort Wainwright met us at the airport. They took us to our hotel, gave Dindem some paperwork, told us to rest, and said they’d return the next day to show us around. Fairbanks is a small town, and the main street, Airport Way, runs between the airport and Fort Wainwright Army Base. But around the time we got there, it was a little cloudy, and it would be snowing soon. I was not impressed with Fairbanks; it seemed a little dirty. I soon discovered the snow leaves the buildings with a dusty film when it melts. But in the summer, after it rains, with all the daylight, there is lots of greenery and flowers, and everything looks different. It was mid-August, so the days were still long, and we kept looking outside at night to see if it was still daylight. But I could feel the change that was on the way.

Fort Wainwright, AK History

Fort Wainwright was established in 1939 as the US Army Air Corps Ladd Field. It was transferred to the Air Force in 1947 as Ladd Air Force Base before finally becoming the Army’s Fort Wainwright in 1961. The Fort is named after General Jonathan Wainwright, who led US forces in the Philippines during World War II. Wainwright was first used to test aircraft in arctic conditions. The Fairbanks area can reach extreme temperatures of 90 degrees Fahrenheit during the summer and even go as low as 60 degrees below zero during the winter.

Fort Wainwright was my first experience living on a Military Base. Dindem moved in with me when we married because I lived close to Fort Eustis, and we knew we would leave soon. I was very excited when we arrived in Alaska. Fort Wainwright was old but well-kept. They have updated the living quarters, and all the buildings are in good shape. We moved into our quarters, which was fine with me. We had a three-bedroom unit with a basement, and I felt secure and in tune with my Life as a soldier’s wife. Now I must get a job. After we received our household goods and got everything unpacked and set up, I looked for employment in my new city of Fairbanks, Alaska.

My first job was at the First National Bank of Alaska. My Real Estate background helped me get the File Clerk position in their Local Loan department. Computers were coming on the scene in the 80s. The Bank was transferring all the loan information from index cards to computers. I didn’t need much computer experience since I only added the data to a program already set. I worked at that until we finished the job and then transferred to the Teller Line. I was new at being a Teller, but I learned the job quickly and was very good with the public. That lasted until I got a supervisor who did not like me for some unknown reason. She stayed on me so much until I decided she could have that job, and I quit.

We had just purchased a beautiful Townhouse and had moved off Post to the local community. When we moved off Post, we had to find a school for Young Howard and a daycare for Lonnie. Dindem went to the Fairbanks North Star Borough to get this information. In Alaska, “Borough” is used instead of “County.” Like Counties, Boroughs are administrative divisions of the State. The receptionist was a young Black lady, and like most people who live in Fairbanks, she started a conversation with Dindem. He told her he needed information on the schools, and she told him the school administration was in another building and gave him the address. Like most military people, we always ask about family, and she told him I should apply to the Borough. Three weeks after I quit my job at the Bank, I was hired in the assessing department of the Fairbanks North Star Borough on June 6, 1983. Again, because of my Real estate background, I was qualified for the position in the Assessing Department. See how God led me right where I was supposed to be. I was worried about selling houses, but God was taking care of my Life. Dealing with real Estate, the assessment for tax purposes, and other things you learn in Real Estate school. That was the start of my perfect journey in Fairbanks, Alaska. The pay at the Borough was almost double what I was making at the Bank. I enjoyed the position and learned much about the Borough and Fairbanks.

The Borough was perfect for me. I was working with three much younger ladies. Most of the time, they acted as if they didn’t want to work. When people came to inquire about their property, they would not go to the counter. Ninety percent of the Assessing position dealt with the public. I was accustomed to working with people from my catering and waiting tables days. I enjoyed the position and learned as I went on. About three months later, an Administrative Assistant position came open in the Municipal Clerk’s office. I had no idea at the time what a Municipal clerk did. God is working with me because I didn’t know about the position, and when I learned about it, I didn’t think I could do it. Before I tell you about me and my experience with the Municipal Clerk’s Office, I want you to know the true meaning of the Municipal Clerk.

HISTORY OF THE MUNICIPAL CLERK

EARLY BEGINNINGS “The Municipal Clerk is the oldest of public servants in local government, along with the tax collector. The profession traces back to Biblical times. For example, the modern Hebrew translation of Town Clerk is “Mazkir Ha’ir,” which means city or town. “Reminder:’ The early keepers of archives were often called” Remembrancers:’ and before writing came into use, their memory served as the public record. Ancient Greece had a city secretary who read official documents publicly. At the opening of a meeting, one of his first duties was to decree a curse upon anyone who should seek to deceive the people.

Over the years, Municipal Clerks have become the hub of government. The Municipal Clerk is the direct link between the inhabitants of their community and their government. The Clerk is the community historian, for the entire recorded history of the town (city) and its people are in their care. The eminent political scientist Professor William Bennett Munro, writing in one of the first textbooks on municipal administration (1934), stated: “No other office in municipal service has so many contracts. It serves the Mayor, the city council, the city manager (when there is one), and all administrative departments without exception. Almost daily, they call upon it for some service or information. Its work is not spectacular, but it demands versatility, alertness, accuracy, and no end of patience. The public does not realize how many loose ends of city administration this office pulls together.” These words, written more than 80 years ago, are even more appropriate today.”

 Now, my story of how I became the Deputy Municipal Clerk. I wasn’t great with typing on a typewriter. Business offices were just beginning to use computers. When I  talked to the personnel director about the position, I told her I did not have computer training. She said that all employees were getting training at that time. She convinced me to apply for the position.

The Clerk’s office is separate from the rest of the Borough and not under the Mayor. The Clerk’s Office works directly for the Presiding Officer of the Assembly. At that time, no one had applied because of how the clerk managed her office. Since I had more experience and was more mature, the personnel director thought I would be a good fit for that office. So, I applied, and the position again paid more than the Assessing position.

When I went in for the interview and talked to the Municipal Clerk, we spoke about some of what the position would entail and other things. Fairbanks is a small city, and we talked about where I lived. We discovered that we lived on the same street. At that point, she asked if I had a little boy; yes, I said, I have two boys; the oldest is not so little. Then she said are you Lonnie’s Mom? I said yes, and she told me Lonnie plays with her little girl at her house. She only lived a few doors from me in the Townhome complex. She asked me if I wanted the job, and I said yes. You got it, she said. On September 26, 1983, I transferred to the Borough Clerk’s office as an Administrative Assistant. WOW, look at GOD. I am a long way from waiting tables in Williamsburg, Virginia.

Being in the Clerk’s office was an education in and of itself. I learned so much and met so many people. Soon after I transferred to the Clerk’s office, there was an election, which was the essential duty of the Borough Clerk’s office. The clerk was responsible for all local elections within the Borough. She works with the State and the City of Fairbanks and helps with their Elections. As we prepared for the election, people came to the Clerk’s office for information on running for a seat on the Assembly or the School Board. The Municipal Clerk’s Office staff must remain neutral and not give their opinion on members running for re-election. Indeed, we could not tell anyone filing for office which Assemblymember to run against. Something similar happened with the Clerk, and the Assembly voted to fire her.

I had been in the Municipal Clerk’s office for less than a year. There were four of us in the office: the Clerk, the Deputy Clerk, the administrative assistant, and a File Clerk. The administration of the office needed lots of help. We were all new, and I discovered that the others did not have much experience working in a Municipal Clerk’s office either. We stuck together; the Deputy Clerk had to take over the Clerk’s duties while the administration figured out what to do. In the meantime, Mona, Deborah, and I made a pack that we would work hard to keep the office running smoothly.

We rearranged some of the workflow. We worked on the records and devised a better way of running the office. Because of the budget and having to pay the outgoing Municipal Clerk’s contract out, the Borough could not hire a new Municipal Clerk at the time. Mona was the acting Municipal Clerk. Deborah and I stayed in our titles, but we did all the office work, and I learned the Deputy Clerk’s duties.

As I stated before, personal computers in the workplace were new. I had never been good with typing and did not like using a typewriter. But God had it all worked out for me. The Displaywriter had hit the market only a few years before, which is what we had in the Clerk’s office. Here is some information on The IBM 6580 Displaywriter.

IBM’s Office Products Division announced the Displaywriter in June 1980 as an easy-to-use, low-cost desktop text processing system. The Displaywriter System enabled operators to produce high-quality documents while keying at rough draft speed. Users could automatically indent text and justify the right margins, center, and underscore. They could also store a document, recall it for Review or Revision, and check the spelling of approximately 50,000 commonly used words. While these features are taken for granted in the post-PC era, they were novel when most documents were created, formatted, and revised on manual or electric typewriters.

Yes, this was just what I needed. I immediately enrolled at the University of Alaska Community College for a course in Business applications, and about three years later, I had an  Associate of Applied Science (AAS.) Degree in Applied Business. A two-year program that took three years to complete my education on a part-time basis while working full-time. I took a class on how to use the Displaywriter and then the personal computer. I was amazed at what a computer could do compared to a typewriter. I was in class, and the next day, I could come into the office and use what I had learned in school the day before. If I was having a hard time, I could also go to the instructor, Dorothy Jones, and tell her the problem, and she would show me how to do what I needed. Dorothy Jones was a member of the Church I joined, Corinthian Baptist Church. Dorothy was very nice. I liked her right away, and she was one of the first friends I would meet. I told her about my job in the Clerk’s Office at the Borough, and she made sure I had all the information I needed to use the Displaywriter. I became the go-to person for help in using the Displaywriter. I worked very hard and learned as much as I could. I was loyal to Mona, the Clerk, and Deborah, the office receptionist. We became best friends in the office, and soon, our office was running very smoothly, and I was at the top of my confidence.

Well, it took about six months to get all the administrative things worked out, and when it came time to appoint a Clerk, Mona accepted the position.

After Mona was appointed Clerk, she had to hire a Deputy Clerk. The position was opened and ran in the Borough; several people applied. People who didn’t apply for the administrative assistant position that I was hired in because of the former Clerk. While most people who applied for the Deputy Clerk position have more experience in office and business than I did, I was already in the clerk’s office, doing the job. I attended the University of Alaska Fairbanks, taking business classes, including computer training.

I was appointed Deputy Borough Clerk on February 13, 1984. That started a whole new chapter for me. I was the Deputy Borough Clerk until I retired in May 1999 when we decided to leave Alaska.

Some highlights of the position of Deputy Borough Clerk.

  1. Deputy Borough Clerk – Duties. From the FNSB Code of Ordinances

There is established the position of Deputy Borough Clerk in the totally exempt service. “The Borough Assembly is authorized to appoint or remove the Deputy Borough Clerk, who shall have the duty to execute, attest, and acknowledge all documents required by the Borough Clerk and affix the Borough seal. The Deputy Borough Clerk shall act as the Borough Clerk in the Borough Clerk’s’ absence.”

Under the Borough Clerks’ direction, I supervised all Borough elections

Managed day-to-day operations of the Municipal Clerk’s Office

Maintained the Records Department

Supervised the Records Clerk, Office File Clerk, and Administrative Assistant

Attended and recorded all Assembly meetings

Mona, the Municipal Clerk, ensured I received all the training offered, and I joined the International Institute of Municipal Clerks.

The International Institute of Municipal Clerks is the leading and most prominent professional non-profit association serving the needs of Municipal Clerks worldwide. With approximately 15,000 members, IIMC represents fewer than 500 to more than 10 million municipalities. IIMC’s primary purpose is to provide education and professional development programs and opportunities for its members. IIMC recognizes that education and professional development are essential to every member and that educational needs are diverse worldwide.

On January 22, 1988, I became a CERTIFIED MUNICIPAL CLERK (C.M.C.). The CMC designation program enhances the job performance of the Clerk in small and large municipalities. The program prepares the participants to meet the challenges of the complex role of the Municipal Clerks by providing them with quality education in partnership with 45 institutions of higher learning. A Municipal Clerk must attend extensive education programs to earn the CMC designation. The designation also requires relevant experience in a municipality.

I achieved the AAE Academy for Advanced Education designation in October 1989. The AAE program is now the Master Municipal Clerk (MMC) Program. The MMC program is an advanced continuing education program that prepares participants to perform complex municipal duties. The program has an extensive and rigorous educational component and a professional and social contribution component. The MMC applicant must demonstrate that they have actively pursued education and professional activities. I was a member of IIMC and had training every year throughout my 16 years as Deputy Borough Clerk. This involvement with IIMC is equivalent to two years of college attendance. We received college credit for courses we attended at the IIMC Academy.

In May 1993, I was Employee of the Month nominated by the employees of the Borough. I was also honored during May 2-8, 1999, which was designated National and International Municipal Clerks Week. The day I retired, Friday, May 7, 1999, was proclaimed by the Assembly and the Mayor of the Fairbanks North Star Borough as Martha Harrell Appreciation Day. The Proclamation reads Martha has served her profession and community well. I have added to this book or made a separate book of newspaper clippings and photos from my time as deputy clerk. It is difficult for me to find the words to describe my tenure as Deputy Clerk. Our office became a family; Mona Drexler hired Nanci Boles, and I hired Sharon Williams; we were the core. Over time, the office grew, and we hired more people, but we started it off and kept it together. Deborah Williams was the office receptionist in the office when I was hired. Deborah and I became very close. She helped train me when I started in the office. She also joined Corinthian Baptist Church, where I attended. On June 22, 1986, Deborah died in a car accident three years after I joined the Clerk’s office.

I began in the Assessing Department on June 6, 1983; transferred to the Clerk’s Office on September 26, 1983, as an Administrative Assistant; and on February 13, 1984, eight months later, I was appointed the Deputy Borough Clerk. My yearly income went from $4,700 in 1980 to $30,000 in 1984!!! Nothing but GOD.

With all the blessings that were coming my way during this time, in November of 1990, I was diagnosed with BREAST CANCER.

Grammys 1990 Breast Cancer Story because I want all you girls and young women to be aware and take care of your bodies and do a breast self-exam every month. It can save your Life. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in my right breast in November 1990. Now, when I look back, I realize how truly blessed I was. I believe God is my healer; I would not be here without my faith in Him.

I’d had a history of female problems and had a hysterectomy three months before I found the lump in my breast. At that time, women were put on Hormone Replacement without discussion because it was considered the best line of treatment after a hysterectomy, especially if you were under fifty; I was forty-seven. I was also told the Hormones did not cause the cancer and that the tumor was probably there, and the Hormones caused it to grow faster, and I felt the lump. However, I was taken off the Hormones when the cancer was found.

In 1985, I had a Biopsy of cysts on both breasts; they were both benign. Five years later, I was not too worried about this Biopsy since I had just had a Mammogram, but the report after the Mammogram did state that the breast tissue was very dense, which means the picture of my breast tissue was white. They could not see if there was a small tumor not yet large enough to feel, which is the purpose of the Mammogram. Dindem came in after the Biopsy and told me that it was cancer. Just seeing the hurt and fear on his face broke my heart. But I knew when he told the Doctor he wanted to tell me it was cancer, he would be a large part of my recovery, and that he was. From then on, he was right there every step of the way; he never left my side. Remember I said that God was my healer? Well, you also need lots of support, and God had placed him in my life way before any of this happened. I opted for the life-saving measure of having a Radical Modified Mastectomy with immediate reconstruction and removal of lymph nodes. (The nodes were cancer-free) Immediate reconstruction means the General Surgeon doing the Mastectomy works with a Plastic Surgeon, and they put in either Saline water-filled or Silicone gel-filled Breast Prosthesis. There are other ways of reconstruction, but this is the one I chose. Personal Choices

I took Tamoxifen for five years, and even though it had some side effects, it was not as bad as Chemotherapy. The cancer was small stage 1 and was also Estrogen positive, which meant I did not have to have Chemotherapy or Radiation. When I was told I could take a pill for Breast Cancer, I did not believe it. Thank you, God; all I knew about Breast Cancer at the time was women died from it.

In the months after my surgery, everything but my family took second place to my healing. My illness had deeply shaken my family. I have six sisters, and my Mother died of cancer, not Breast Cancer, but Cancer, nonetheless. I also have one brother, and my siblings and I live in 5 different states. So now, eight families across the nation are very concerned about me and the cancer.

I was blessed, and I knew that God was with me. I had a loving husband, a happy marriage, two teenage sons, a grown daughter, and employment that I enjoyed. I believed that God would not let breast cancer take all that away from me. I researched and found that the best thing I could do for myself was to get my body and mind in the best shape possible, strong body and positive thinking. I asked a zillion questions and took charge of my own health and healing. The drug I had to take for the next five years started severe HOT FLASHES. I needed help, but for the first five years, there was little help. You see, five years is the magic number with breast cancer. After five years, maybe you can start doing something different, but never again could I take Hormones. Since then, a study has shown that Hormone Replacement has caused an increase in Breast Cancer. And since then, another study has shown that Hormones were not the cause of the increase in Breast Cancer, so what is a woman to do? I was 47 years old at the time and could not take Hormones, so I returned to research and found that vitamins and herbs could help along with eating healthy, and nothing could replace exercise. I took care of myself, and I never felt better – or more grateful.

In addition, the support I received from dozens of other survivors. As word of my diagnosis spread, acquaintances became close friends, sending me poems, prayers, and stories of encouragement, calling me long-distance to share their own stories of survival. Family and friends were there, and one of my six sisters called daily to check on me. At the time, I lived in Fairbanks, Alaska, so they could not just drive over to see me. My supervisor told me that I did not have to even think about returning to work any time soon. However, if anyone besides God is responsible for my sharing my story with you today, it is your Dindem ( Howard). He was my rock when I needed to be held up and my soft place to fall when I needed to go down. He gave me all I needed, he gave me all he had, and he was there for as long as I needed him. He also had to be there for young Howard, Lonnie, and Karen. He was the one who talked to them and told them I was going to be okay. And though I am Cancer-free and very healthy, he still cares for me. His support played a large part in my recovery. He made sure that I did not have to deal with any stress.

I was cancer-free for over 14 years, and in February 2004, I was diagnosed with breast cancer on the left side. But this time, everything was so different. I was fixing things after almost 15 years, and the reconstruction needed reconstruction again. In the process, I had a reduction on the left side, and ONE, mind you, ONE cancer cell was found when the breast tissue that had been removed was examined. They almost did not find it; I know it was God because my Oncologist said that ONE cancer cell is virtually impossible to find. There was no lump, nothing, to alert me that the cancer was growing in my breast again. Therefore, again, I opted for a Radical Modified Mastectomy with immediate reconstruction; besides, all nodes were cancer-free.

This second time, we did not know what to expect; everything was happy-go-lucky for one minute, and then suddenly, something was terribly wrong. We had just moved to Denton, Texas, about a year before this, and I did not have the support team in place that I had before. My Oncologist monitors me closely and has regular MRIs of the breast and PET Scans of my entire body. I always thought if I had cancer again, I would surely have to go through Chemo, but God was there watching over me. My Doctor and I decided that I did not need ANY treatment because this was a new cancer, not the same, which makes a huge difference. There was no tumor; I’d had the Mastectomy and no lymph node involvement.

After years of care by my Oncologist, always keeping my health first, exercising five days a week, and the continued support of my husband and family, my health is excellent: all-clear checkups and clean MRIs. I have now been cancer-free for over 30 years.

Since my diagnosis, I’ve learned that the 5-year survival rate for breast cancer detected early is better than 90%; the 10-year rate is better than 60%. Since my diagnosis, so much has changed, and things are getting better… survival rates and treatments. But one thing remains the same: EARLY DETECTION…… IS A LIFE SAVER when it comes to Breast Cancer. So, we need hope; we need hope that our daughters, granddaughters, and great-granddaughters will live with a CURE for BREAST CANCER; until then, they need to be screened. We must be proactive by performing a monthly breast self-exam. Get an annual mammogram if you are at high risk and over 40. Eat a healthy diet full of fruits and vegetables. Maintain a healthy weight, and DON’T SMOKE. Limit alcohol consumption and STRESS. Exercise, exercise, exercise! We must remind our daughters to do the same and pass it on to their daughters…….

“I want to be an encouragement to women, to look beyond the diagnosis. . . to live a more meaningful and cherished life. You can live beyond breast cancer.” Like me, thousands of women are still here to witness the joy of Life after breast cancer. I did survive! And I am living my Best Life…… End of Breast Cancer Story.

 I was known in the community for my work to spread the word about Breast Cancer. I worked with the American Cancer Society in the Reach to Recovery Program. The Reach to Recovery program allows breast cancer patients to express feelings, talk about concerns, and ask questions. Volunteers offer understanding, support, and hope because they have survived breast cancer. I started a business, The Personal Touch, where women going through breast cancer could get the items they needed after breast surgery that were unavailable in Fairbanks.

First Annual Girl Scouts Women of Distinction Award

The article below appeared in the local newspaper in Newport News on May 8, 1997. Former Newport News resident Martha J. Vernon-Williams-Harrell was one of four Fairbanks, Alaska, women to receive the First Annual Girl Scouts Women of Distinction Award. This honor is given to women who have demonstrated outstanding leadership and excellence in their professional and personal endeavors. It was said that Martha “truly shows her concern for others through her actions. She is a faithful servant.” Martha was one of four women to receive the award, and there were over 50 women nominated.

Howard ll and Lonnie Growing up in Fairbanks, Alaska

Fairbanks is a home rule city, the largest city in the Interior region of Alaska, and the second largest in the State.

The Fairbanks North Star Borough School District is funded by the Borough (county) but is entirely separate from day-to-day operations and is housed in its own administration building. Remember, Dindem visited the Borough Administration building to learn about the schools. Dindem found the School District Administrative Building and went there because our information was that no school buses came to South Fairbanks, where we lived on 27th Ave. This was true, as you will read, we ended up putting the boys in a private school.

 Young Howard and Lonnie loved growing up in Fairbanks, Alaska. Both boys loved the snow, and both started to play Hockey. That lasted for about two seasons, and they both wanted to do other things, including Basketball and Soccer. Both boys played in their age divisions until they graduated high school. During the summer months of June, July, and August, everyone is more involved in outside activities in Fairbanks. Soccer is huge in Alaska. We enrolled them in a private school at a Baptist church, Hamilton Acres School. I can’t remember how we found this school. Dindem says it was recommended to us by someone in our Church. That went well for a while, and then, at the end of the semester, it was time for grades; we received a call from the school to come in for a conference for Young Howard, who was in fifth grade. We go to the school, see the setup, and realize this is not the best learning environment for a fifth grader. In the class, the teacher has more than one grade, and the students are assigned lessons from a book and left to do them independently. Howard did not do the assignments; he had about ten to twelve lessons to do, and now it is the end of the semester. The teacher checks his book, and he has not completed the work. Oh boy, not so good.

Dindem and I are very disappointed with Hamilton Acres School because there are few other choices. We had paid a lot of money to send the boys there. Mona, my co-worker, also had two sons, and they were in  Immaculate Conception School (ICS). She told us it was a Catholic School, but they did not teach Catholicism. We talked to some other people, and because Fairbanks is so small, the school is well-known and has an excellent reputation. The Immaculate Conception Elementary School is a private, accredited Catholic School for pre-k through 6th. Monroe High School is a private Roman Catholic high school in Fairbanks, Alaska. We enrolled the boys in ICS. Howard was in sixth grade, and Lonnie was in first.

Young Howard

Although there were only a few African-American students, Howard thrived at Monroe High School. He maintained his grades, although sometimes he could have done better. He was involved in school activities and Student Leadership Conferences and was president of (MAC.) Monroe Awareness Club and Academic Decathlon, he was also elected to Natural Helpers, a group of students participating in a Worldwide Day of Service.

Howard was big on sports; he played basketball until he started gaining weight, and the school did not have a football team. The West Valley High School coach in Fairbanks asked him to transfer there to play football, but he did not want to leave Monroe. Howard started to compete in Track and Field during his junior year in school. He became exceptionally good with the Shot Put. The Shot Put is an event in which the participant stands inside a circle and attempts to “put” a weighted ball as far as possible. The “put” is different than a “throw” due to the motion of the arm. It has a history back to ancient times when people threw rocks for distance. During the Middle Ages, competitions were recorded on who could throw a cannonball the farthest.

In his junior year, Howard was on track to break the State of Alaska’s 22-year record in shot put. The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner sports editor interviewed Howard on his chances of breaking the record. The article appeared in the paper on Thursday, May 3, 1990, two days before his Birthday. Please see the interview below.

NO CHALLENGE TOO BIG FOR HARRELL

With no one in front of him to try and beat and no one breathing down his neck to take his place, Howard Harrell finds that his greatest challenge this season is motivating himself. Last year, in his first season of throwing the shot and discus, the Monroe High School senior surprised many people by finishing fifth in the discus (142-5) and second in the Shot Put (53-11/4) at the state championship meet. Both throws were personal bests.

In his first meet this season, Harrell tossed the 12-pound shot 53-91/2 and the discus 154-7, marking approximately 6 feet and 13 feet, respectively, ahead of the next competitor in the 49th State.

He wants to break the state record in both events but must do so at the State meet for the mark to count. The hardest thing for him is there is no competition. He knows he’s going to win. His motivation has got to get better. It’s hard to keep motivated when you’re the top dog and the top dog by a lot. says Monroe coach Randy Small. Harrell attributed part of his success to State last year to being motivated to beat Scheunemann. The shoe is on the other foot this season. He readily acknowledges It’s hard to keep sharp mentally and psychologically, a situation he tries to overcome by establishing an impossible goal before each throw. I pick out a spot I want to throw too when I get in the ring., says Harrell, who stands 6 feet and weighs 260 pounds. “It helps me concentrate.”

TECHNIQUE AND POWER. Harrell has been lifting weights since the start of the New Year. Following last season, Harrell ordered instructional videos explaining the processes of throwing both implements. Several years ago, at Monroe, a method was used when Abdul Lewis showed potential in the triple jump.

Gary Walker, an Immaculate Conception school teacher, has worked with Harrell periodically, and Small can point out some things Harrell is doing wrong, but for the most part, he’s working on his own. He probably knows more about it than I do, Small says.

Given that, it is not unrealistic that Harrell prefers the shot put. It’s easier to do than the disk, says Harrell, Monroe’s academic decathlon team member who recently competed in a national event. With the discus, it’s a lot of technique, whereas with the shot, it’s a lot of power. You must throw the disk so it’ll fly flat. That’s been the hardest thing to learn. He added that it must come perfectly off your hand, or it will flip-flop one way or the other. Harrell has been throwing the disc approximately 170 feet in practice, though his throws have tended to stray out of bounds.

Although he’s more comfortable with the shot, his first step toward tossing the iron ball is coming up short. He said my not landing in the middle of the ring leaves 8 inches before the toe board. In the shot put, a throw is not counted if an athlete’s momentum carries him over the toe board at the end of the ring. By not having his lead foot come to rest on the toe board before he throws, Harrell is losing at least 8 inches off his throw, possibly more.

A JINX?

Harrell may need every inch to break the state Shot put record. Schuenemann suggested last year that there may be a jinx on the mark. Beller, a history and physical education teacher at Bartlett High School in Anchorage, said he’s not too sure about the Jinx. Each time it appeared a young man might break the mark, Beller has been there to congratulate the shot putter; should he set a new record? There’s just something about the pressure. Once they get to the State meet, Kids may overthink about it and get a little tense and tight, said Beller, the Bartlett football coach. The week before, the State meet on May 25-26 in Palmer, Harrell will try to establish new Region VI records. North Pole’s Jason Widman set the shot mark of 51-3 In 1985, and Howard Zach’s 143-8 a year later is the discus standard. If he doesn’t break those, it’ll be an upset, Small said. Zach attended Lathrop High School in Fairbanks.

It’s a concern of mine, Harrell said of the one-shot deal. I’m hoping to have one of my better days. I could have a bad day on any given day and not throw like I have been. Beller is, too. I know my family and friends wouldn’t like me to say this, but he said I’d kind of like to see someone break it to generate some new interest in it. I wish the young man up there all the best, and I hope he does it.” End of the newspaper article.

On May 25, 1990, Howard broke the 22-year Shot Put record with a throw of 56’3″; his record stood for 16 years. His record was broken in 2006 with a throw of 59’09.75.”

In 1990, The Harrells celebrated three Graduations.

1990, the three of us graduated. Young Howard graduated from Monroe High School. Grammy received an Associate of Applied Science Business Degree from the University of Alaska Fairbanks. Dindem received a Master of Public Administration Degree from the University of LaVerne. There was an article in the newspaper titled Graduating Family with a large picture of the three of us.

Young Howard graduated from Monroe High School on May 20, 1990, and attended the University of Alaska Fairbanks; he was there for about two years and then decided that he needed a break to find what he really wanted in Life. He applied for a Page position in the State House of Representatives in Juneau, Alaska. Pages: Hired by the Rules Committees of each Chamber, pages serve under the supervision of their Sergeant-at-Arms to provide support services to legislative members. They are on call in the Chamber for each legislative day, providing such services as mail distribution, whether in the form of Legislators’ notes, letters, packages, and documents or Agency communications, and maintenance of Chamber materials, including bill files and journals.

He enjoyed this position and worked in Juneau for about eight months. He returned to Fairbanks and worked several jobs before taking a job with The Teamsters Union and going to work on the Alaska Pipeline. The Trans-Alaska Pipeline System is an oil transportation system spanning Alaska, including the Trans-Alaska crude oil pipeline, 11 pump stations, several hundred miles of feeder pipelines, and the Valdez Marine Terminal. TAPS is one of the world’s largest pipeline systems.

It was during this time that Howard met Kimberly Dawn Kissell. When we met Kim, Jordan was three years old. Howard stated in the beginning that things were not serious between him and Kim. They worked together and were just friends. Soon after, they started dating and moved in together. Shortly after that, Kim became pregnant. We had already taken Jordan into our hearts as a grandchild. Karen had moved to Fairbanks to be closer to us before Briahnna was born on August 24, 1994.

So, this was the time we had been waiting for, Grandchildren. Before we knew it, there were four girls. Sadeyah Renee came into our hearts on December 20, 1996. Sadeyah was just beautiful, with a head full of curly hair. Then came Mariyah Earlene, another beautiful baby girl, on January 20, 1998. I had the pleasure of being in the delivery room at the birth of both Sadeyah and Mariyah. Kim and I were close then, and she asked me to be with her. We were thrilled because we had several Goddaughters but no Granddaughters.

Dindem and I were still working when the girls were born. We were thrilled and made every effort to spend time with them. But we were ready for a change, and I has already planned when Lonnie graduated from high school, I would retire and leave Alaska. We also knew if we did not move now while Dindem was working for the federal government, it would be very hard and expensive to leave later. We wanted your mom and dad to come with us. We talked to Howard and Kim about coming with us, but they were not ready to leave, and Kim did not want to leave her Mother.

It would have been hard for them to follow us because Dindem was still working, and we transferred two more times before we settled in Texas. So, we made the hard decision to leave Young Howard and his Family in Fairbanks.

Dindem, Karen, Breezy, and I left Fairbanks in May 1999.

Things were going fine; we were getting used to the lower 48, and Kim and Howard were doing well. When we received the news that a big baby boy, Howard Earl III (Trey), would be arriving on January 15, 2000. And then Trenton Andrew Walter came 11 months later, another baby boy born on January 11, 2001. So now Howard and Kim have a growing family; it seemed to have happened so fast we could hardly keep up. In six years, we went from no grandkids to six. But we ensured we got the grandkids wherever we lived during the summer. Howard and I both traveled to Fairbanks at different times to get the girls in the first few years we moved. Life moved on as it does, and a few Life changing events happened, and we were all changed forever.

On Thursday, June 25, 2015, young Howard quietly passed away in his sleep in Denton, Texas. Howard was born May 5, 1972 in Monterey, California.

Howard had four sisters:

Pamela Murphy, Killeen, Texas

Audrey Nelson and her husband, Larry, live in Austin, Texas.

Claudia Johnson and her husband, Haywood, live in Baltimore, Maryland

Denise Murphy lives in Killeen, Texas

Two brothers:

Burke Murphy and his wife Kehaulani live in Killeen, Texas

Lonnie Harrell and his wife, Tiffany, live in Clinton, MD.

Kimberly Harrell, 47, of Kentwood, MI, passed away Thursday, December 22, 2022, at Corewell Health Butterworth Hospital in Grand Rapids. Kimberly was born July 29, 1975, in Kansas City, MO, to Jeffrey & Lisa (Ross) Kissell.

Sometimes, dear grandchildren, it is hard for me to even think about the fact that both of your parents are gone.

This is not our home. We must all prepare for the day because we do not know when it will be.

Today is July 3, 2023. Okay, Kiddos, you guys have been just wonderful. I am amazed at the growth. All five of you have stepped up to the plate, and you are hitting it out of the park. I am so PROUD of all of you. I know it has not been easy. But God sent his Angels to watch over you. Thank you, I am so delighted and proud to say you are my Grandchildren. Proud of the young adults you have become. Please let God into your heart and make him the head of your Life. If you do that, you will always have a fulfilling life, no matter the circumstances.

NOTE: We received the news today, 8/5/2023. Sadeyah is expecting her second child in four weeks, on 9/22/2023. She just told Dindem and I. She does not know if it is a boy or a girl. Beautiful Surprise!!!! Another great grandbaby!!!! YAY!!!! I Love You!!!!

Lonnie Allen Williams Harrell

So, when Dindem and I married, the boys started calling us Mom and Dad, and they decided that. Dindem and I did not tell them to do it. They did not ask us if they could; they just did. As you see, Lonnie’s name was Lonnie Allen Williams, from his biological Father, Lonnie Williams, whom I discussed in Chapter 11. Lonnie was three years old, so names meant nothing to him. When we moved to Alaska, and he was about seven, he came home from school one day and asked us why his name was Williams and everyone else in the Family was Harrell. Good question, Dindem said, since he had asked about adopting Lonnie and I was holding off. I felt that since Lonnie was a Jr, changing his name would take away from his Lonnie Dad. I talked to Aunt Mae about it, and she reminded me that his Lonnie dad was gone, and he was not coming back. She reminded me that Dindem was right here, and he was doing all the dad things that Lonnie needed at the time, and he should be allowed to become his Father legally. I understand it is more about Lonnie now. So, I decided to let Dindem adopt him.

When we went to court, only the Judge, Lonnie, young Howard, me, and Dindem were in the courtroom. The Judge asked the boys about their relationship and how they got along. She asked Lonnie who Young Howard was, and Lonnie said his brother. The boys were sitting in front of us in the first row. Dindem and I sat about two rows behind the boys. The Judge continued to ask Lonnie and young Howard questions, and they would answer. Then she asked Lonnie who is that man sitting beside your Mom? Lonnie turned around, looked at me, Dindem, and said, Oh, that’s my Dad. The Judge said good, just what I wanted to hear. This adoption is approved. And just like that, he became Lonnie Allen Williams Harrell. I chose to keep Williams as part of his name. He grew up a Harrell, and I have asked him in the last few years since he has children of his own, how he feels about becoming a Harrell. His answer is I am a Harrell. I will raise my children as Harrell. He also said you and Dad raised me well. I know who I am. I know who my family is, but I am a Harrell. He has always claimed all his family on both sides. God really blessed me when it came to a Father for Lonnie. Dindem adopted Lonnie, and they share an unbreakable father-son bond.

Lonnie was in first grade when he started at  Immaculate Conception School (ICS). Lonnie was a well-behaved first grader in school. He has consistently received excellent teacher and student reports from first grade to high school. Lonnie had no problems at school and did his homework in elementary school. Looking back, maybe we did not stay close enough on him with his schoolwork because he was not reading on grade level at the end of second grade. We had reviewed things with him, but his teacher thought he should repeat the second grade. We had Lonnie tested for Dyslexia, and he was not. We checked his hearing, and he had a slight hearing loss. They told us that he could not hear the high-pitched sounds. And he could miss some of the teacher’s words depending on where he sat in the classroom. This would also explain his inability to hear the sounds of the letters, causing him trouble learning to read.

After much debate, we decided to hold him back in second grade. We were all very disappointed, but I had seen his struggle when it came to our attention, and he had missed a potion that he needed to keep up with the class work. Dindem did not want to hold him back; he thought he should try harder and put more time into studying. I knew holding him back was the only way, or he would struggle all his school career.

Well, that started a whole new career for me. I took it as my job to assure Lonnie that he was not dumb just because he had been held back. I wanted him to know he could now be the smartest in his class because he was held back. I also started to get more involved in both boys’ school life. I realized that no matter how big they get, kids will still be kids and always need guidance from their parents.

I was blessed to be able to spend time at the boy’s school and to see firsthand what was going on. I did not know this then, but I can see how Lonnie listened to what his Dad and I told him over the years. I encouraged Lonnie and always told him he was smart and could do whatever he wanted. With Lonnie’s personality and spirit, he blossomed. He became very confident in himself and always had very high self-esteem. Lonnie had to work on his grades, but I assured him he could do it with a little effort. Even though he was held back in second grade, he went on to have a perfect and happy school life.

Monroe had very few African-American students. Lonnie got to spend some time in Alabama with his Lonnie Dad’s people, and he saw how the Black people in the South lived and wanted more. By the time he finished elementary school and was ready for Middle School, he wanted to go to public school.

We decided to let him go to public school, and I also decided to go with him, which means that I would be closely involved in all things School for Lonnie.

When Lonnie finished at ICS in 6th grade, and we enrolled him into Ryan Middle School in Fairbanks, I went to the school, introduced myself to the principal, and asked for a meeting with his teachers. They were all very open and understanding of my wanting to be there for my son. That started an excellent relationship with the school. I volunteered whenever possible, and the teachers and students got to know me. I became known as “Lonnie’s Mom.” Lonnie was very popular at Ryan, and he knew most of the kids either from Church or from playing Little Dribblers Basketball with them.

We were well on our way with school, he had many friends, and all his teachers loved him; he was very confident. Being held back in second grade was beginning to show. He was more optimistic and mature than his classmates because he was a year older than most. So, he thrived at Ryan Middle School and went to Lathrop High School.

Lonnie was a model student in High School, and he was very popular with the other students. And every teacher he had was very impressed with him and let us know. Lonnie was not known for his smarts but for his heart. Lonnie has always been charming from a little guy and always looked out for the underdog. Lonnie played basketball during high school and was one of the star players. I believe Lonnie had a wonderful time at school and an outstanding experience.

Lonnie loved the snow, and as I said, he played Hockey for a while. With youth Hockey in Fairbanks, they could not get practice time on the ice in the evenings because of the professional Hockey teams. The youth had to practice in the early mornings. Dindem and I both worked, so getting up at five in the morning and taking the boys to Hockey practice was no fun, and Lonnie soon did not want to continue. He was so young, and he had to learn to Ice skate while learning to play Hockey. Most of the time, they were all just on their bottoms on the ice. When he was older and in school, Lonnie even learned to Ski.

But then we get to the summer, and there is youth basketball and soccer. Oh my, Lonnie loved both sports and soon gave up Hockey. He played on the community Basketball and Soccer teams.

We participated in Black History Month the first year by decorating the school with Black History. We also sponsored a program that the students performed in. That was very successful and covered by the media. Lonnie was also involved in the group we formed, The Concerned Parents of African American Students, at Lathrop High School.

Lonnie was also a Ball Boy for the University of Alaska Fairbanks Basketball Team. Ball Boys and Girls retrieve and supply balls for players or officials in sports such as association football, American football, bandy, cricket, tennis, baseball, and basketball. They must maintain a C average and have a clean record of their grades and conduct. Lonnie did well in school and sports and was involved in our Church. We attended St James A.M.E. Zion in Fairbanks. Lonnie attended the Church Conference and loved participating in the Usher March.

Lonnie graduated from Lathrop High School in June 1998 and went to the University of Alaska Anchorage the first year after graduating high school. Say what? Who was held back in second grade!! He transferred to Howard University in Washington DC, one of the most prestigious (HBCU’s) Historically Black Colleges and Universities in the United States. Lonnie proved himself there and graduated on Saturday, May 11, 2002, with a Bachelor of Arts in Communications-Mass Media-Radio, TV, and Film.

Dindem and I were living in New Mexico in 2002, so I planned the celebration from there. I sent out invitations and notices of graduation to all my friends and family members. We were all so happy about Lonnie graduating from Howard University.

We did so much in Fairbanks; I struggled to put it all together as a family and individually. So, I am adding information from letters I mailed out over the years to cover some of the family’s activities.

Howard University Graduation-Commencement DAY

Saturday, May 11, 2002.

Howard II, Trey, and Trenton flew in from Fairbanks, arriving at Washington National Airport in Washington DC, to attend the Commencement at Howard University. The Commencement ceremony started at 10:00 a.m. We had to be seated at the University by 8:45 a.m. After the ceremony, we had to leave right away. We had a three-hour drive to Newport News. I wanted to be on the road by 2:00 p.m.

The Celebration Party was held at Fort Eustis Club, Fort Eustis, VA. At 6:30 p.m.

We pulled it off, and family and friends were waiting for us when we arrived at Ft Eustis. I had asked my nieces and young cousins to be the hosts in Virginia so that things could go on until our arrival. I want to thank each of them very much. That was, I can say, one of the most joyful times we have had as a family. Lonnie received over three thousand dollars in cash and gifts. God has been so good to us.

Letter From Christine Smith, Assistant Principal of Lathrop High School and one of his Teachers.

Martha, Whenever I think of Lonnie, I have so many good memories of his years at Lathrop. He was so positive and influenced other students and staff members. He had all the qualities you would expect in a good student – smart, responsible, and involved. But he also had qualities that made him stand out – his independence and ability to have friends among so many different types of students and cliques, his willingness to try something totally new and take a risk, his ability to see the big picture above the social interactions going on all the time. Lonnie was also one of the most fun people I have been around. He just brought a sense of joy and vitality to the school and our activities. I am just so glad that I got to know him better through Mock Trial. And Martha, I always appreciated your faith in Lathrop by sharing your son with us. Please tell Lonnie I know he will accomplish much and lift others in doing so. This graduation is just another in a long series of achievements that will string out over his lifetime. I am glad to have been part of his Life. Your friend, Christine Smith

The following is a copy of Lonnie’s Wedding Announcement: Rev. Howard and Mrs. Martha Harrell are pleased to announce the marriage of their son, Lonnie Harrell, to Tiffany Powell, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Gene Powell, on October 12, 2013, at Yellowfin Steak & Fish House Restaurant in Edgewater, Maryland. Guests were invited to an Engagement Party, but the Groom announced they were “Getting Married Right Now.” Guests were treated to a gala reception following the Surprise Wedding. The couple will reside in Oxen Hill, Maryland. Tiffany is a third-grade School Teacher in Baltimore, Maryland, and Lonnie is a Sr. Multimedia Specialist for the  Department of State Diplomatic Security Services in Washington, DC. Rev. Irene Ford Smith, Associate Pastor of Mt. Ennon Baptist Church, officiated with the Groom’s Father, Rev. Harrell. The couple will take a Honeymoon trip in December.

That was a summary of Howard and Lonnie’s school days and their growing up in Fairbanks.

Now, I will give you some highlights of our Church and Community Service

We joined Corinthian Baptist Church soon after getting settled in Fairbanks. We loved the congregation, the pastor, Rev. Banks, and his wife, Mrs. Banks. She played the piano for the choir, and somehow, she heard Dindem sing, and she convinced him to do a solo, and he went on to sing in the choir and lead songs. Corinthian Baptist is also where Howard (Dindem) entered the ministry, first as a Deacon and years later as an ordained Minister. We thrived at Corinthian, and I became the Youth Director working with the children and youth. We developed a close relationship with Reverend and Ms. Banks and their Family. It became Lonnie’s second home. He was friends with their youngest son, Javon. I had a close relationship with JaVette, their oldest daughter, and we became God Parents to her daughter, Quellencia, all our God children call us Aunt Martha and Uncle Howard. We so enjoyed being godparents; as life would have it, Satan came in and tried to destroy the relationship. JaVette married and moved from Fairbanks. We lost touch for a while, but I am happy to say that we did reconnect, and I am in contact with JaVette and Quellencia.

We left Corinthian and joined St John Baptist Church. We were not there very long. But while there, we made a lifelong friendship with a young family stationed at Eielson Air Force Base when we attended St. John in Fairbanks. At the time, Jerome and Kathy (Kathleen) Williams had two little girls, Kourtney and Kristyan. Kristyan was about two years old, and Kourtney was about six months; she was still in the baby carrier. One night at bible study, Howard and I sat behind them. They had set the carrier on the floor, and Kourtney could see Howard. They played with each other all evening. After Bible study, we talked with Kathy and Jerome and have been friends ever since.

We became Godparents to both girls. It has been over thirty years now. Over the years, we have spent birthdays and holidays together. We love Kathy like a daughter; the kids are like our grandkids. Oh yes, there are five children, three boys and two girls. Kathy did an excellent job with the children. They are all out on their own. Kourtney and Kristyan are both married with children of their own. They all graduated from college. Jerome passed away a few years ago.

Note: Kathy lives in Lawrenceville, GA now. Howard and I drove to Texas from Virginia in July 2023, and we stopped by to see Kathy and the kids. We always enjoy spending time with them…

Back to Fairbanks:

We joined St. James Temple A.M.E. Zion soon after with Rev. Charles Brown and Rev. Shellie Brown. Rev. Brown and Shellie, as we called them, came into our lives at just the right time. I had just had surgery for Breast Cancer. I needed some support being so far from home. Shellie became my sister-friend, and we are friends for Life. I should pick up the phone and call her right now. I know Jordan, Sadeyah, Mariyah, Trenton, and Trey; remember Rev. Brown from Fairbanks. They used to come by the house in the church van to pick you guys up for Church. Briahnna should remember them also.

We worked so well with them; they were both excellent teachers. I could ask Rev. Brown anything, and he had a way of explaining it, and he would stay on the subject until you understood. He didn’t just start explaining. He would say, “Let us see what the Bible says.” he opened the Bible and gave a scripture to follow. He and Dindem became close friends and worked on several projects in the community. Dindem was very impressed with how he taught Bible study, and Shellie was an excellent preacher. We grew in our Christian walk, studying with them and working in the Church and the community. We stayed at ST. James until we left Fairbanks. Rev. Brown passed away on September 1, 2020.

Community

Dindem retired from the Army on July 31, 1986. After about a year, he started working in the Borough where I worked. He worked for the Mayor, and I worked for the Assembly. Dindem and Bernie Brown were hired as the Borough’s military liaison officers in examining the impact of the new Sixth Light Infantry Division at Fort Wainwright. This began Dindem’s career working in the community and the schools. He graduated from Wayland Baptist University on October 1, 1988, with a degree in Business Administration.

 Let me say again we loved living in Fairbanks. The best thing about living in Fairbanks was not the long summer days or the long winter nights; it was the people. There were some wonderful people there; we all gathered for the good of the community. There were several churches, and we all participated in each other’s services. During the first  MLK celebration, the community, White, Black, and Alaska Native, came together to celebrate. That is not to say there was not some race problems, because it was. Dindem and Grammy served wherever we were needed; Fairbanks was our home. During Lonnie’s time at Ryan and Lathrop High School, Dindem and I volunteered there. Dindem and I were invited by the School Board Chairperson to take part in a panel discussion during a Board meeting about Race Relations in the Schools. I worked very close with the Black students at Lathrop there were few Black teachers.

 The Fairbanks Neighborhood Housing Services program is a project he worked on and brought to Fairbanks. Fairbanks Neighborhood Housing Services is a non-profit organization that provides and promotes safe, affordable housing, focusing on sustainable homeownership, self-sufficiency, sound environments, healthy quality of Life, and communities that sustain these values. Since 1993, FNHS has provided Fairbanks residents with a wide variety of services, including homeownership education, rehabilitation loans, down-payment & closing cost assistance, housing development, and access to affordable housing. Your Dindem put in a lot of effort to bring this program to Fairbanks, and it is still in service to the people of Fairbanks over twenty years later.

 Dindem was very involved in the community, a member of the NAACP, the Fairbanks Black Caucus, a Board member of the Southside Community Center, and a board member of the Fairbanks Development Authority. At the time, he was very interested in politics. This is what was stated in one of his interviews. Howard is very dedicated to his Family, Church, and community. His theme is “To Be of Service To Mankind.” Raising Lonnie and young Howard in Fairbanks was a blessing.

Now let me tell you about Fairbanks, Alaska

One of the things we enjoyed, and there were several, was the long summer days—the Summer Solstice and all the events that came with it.  June 21 is the longest day of the year and marks the beginning of summer and the summer solstice.

The summer solstice happens each year on June 21 when the sun reaches its highest point in the Northern Hemisphere, creating the longest, sunniest day of the year.

The winter solstice on December 21, the shortest day of the year, is notable because it’s marked by an astronomical phenomenon – the moment the North Pole is tilted furthest from the sun as the earth continues in orbit. In terms of daylight, this day is 18 hours, 8 minutes shorter than the June Solstice. On December 21, each day after, a short amount of time is gained, about a minute at first, then as time goes on, more and more minutes are gained until by June 21, it is almost 23 hours of daylight. Same if you look at June 21; each day after June 21, we lose minutes of daylight until December 21, when we only have about 3 hours of daylight. But with long periods of dawn and dusk – or civil twilight – it’s more like 6 hours of visible light.

Fairbanks, a community in the middle of Alaska less than 140 miles south of the Arctic Circle, knows how to celebrate winter. No matter the weather, the unique nature of Fairbanks’ location, natural light, and snowy landscape make for stunning images of a true winter wonderland during the winter solstice.

Fairbanks not only has plenty of things to do in the summer months, but during the winter, it is one of the best places in the world to view the Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights). It is near the Arctic Circle, which makes the Northern Lights visible from September to April. When I first saw the Northern Lights, I didn’t like them too much; it was scary. Over time, I learned to enjoy looking at them; this is one of the most beautiful sights you will ever see. The Northern Lights are like living in Fairbanks; it is tough to describe; you must live there and experience it yourself.

Sweet summertime. There is no shortage of cool things to see and do during the summer. Summer events take advantage of the everlasting sunshine and include:

The Midnight Sun Game tradition dates to the earliest days of Fairbanks. For over a century, a baseball game has been held annually in Fairbanks on June 21.

There’s no better place to celebrate the summer solstice than downtown Fairbanks—basking in 24-hour daylight just 140 miles south of the Arctic Circle. The historic Midnight Sun Festival is Alaska’s largest single-day event celebrating sunshine in the Golden Heart City. The free 12-hour street fair is marked by thousands of attendees perusing hundreds of exhibitors offering Alaskan merchandise, delicious food, and services.

Each year in mid-July, there are a series of fun activities known as Golden Days, recognizing the discovery of gold by Italian immigrant Felix Pedro and the founding of Fairbanks. Golden Days boast exciting events for all ages, including the biggest parade in Alaska, a street fair, and a rubber ducky race along the Chena River. We celebrated Fairbanks’ Golden Heart history, and you could spot some Felix Pedro look-a-likes, can-can girls, and pioneers running around town.

With the midnight summer sun shining nearly 24 hours a day and the northern lights dancing overhead during Aurora Season, Fairbanks is simply bursting with things to do.

Downtown Fairbanks comes alive on and around the winter solstice, December 21 — the day that heralds the return of the light. You can look at the mountains and see the light coming. I truly enjoyed this time because it reminded me that summer was coming—musical and artistic events and shopping for handmade Alaskan items. Stroll the streets and view delightful holiday decorations and light posts enamored with charming, lit-up snowflakes. Ice Art Around Town. Open North American Championship

In what is called the oldest sled dog race series on the planet, the three-day ONAC is a treat to watch. Teams from all over the world arrive in Fairbanks with their teams of sprint dogs to race in two 20.9-mile heats and one 28.6-mile heat to win the coveted dog mushing title.

I just gave you a brief overview of some activities we enjoyed living in Fairbanks. I have several books with all the awards and certificates, so if you want to see more, Lonnie will have the books. I am sure he will give anyone who wants more information a copy of whatever.

Leaving  Fairbanks Alaska

Dindem was offered two jobs, one in Tampa, Florida, and one in Albany, Georgia. The one in Georgia offered him the opportunity to come there first, so we accepted that one. Lonnie graduated high school in June 1998, and Dindem got a job in Albany, Georgia, in May 1999. Howard, Karen, Briahna, and I moved to Albany, GA, from Alaska in May 1999. In ten days, we drove 4,653 miles of the Alaska-Canadian Highway or ALCAN Highway. What an exciting adventure. We want to make the trip one more time while vacationing. Lonnie was still in college and was planning to come to Fairbanks for a summer job. He helped us with the move and assisted Karen with the drive. Briahna, I believe, enjoyed the trip most of all; she loved staying at the motels. Once we arrived in  Georgia, we noticed Karen’s car was in the middle of the street while checking into temporary housing. When asked why this was, she said, “It won’t stay parked.” After having the car towed to a local dealership, we discovered that a ‘constant velocity joint’ (aka CV joint) had broken. This confirmed how God blesses us and that He is faithful to those who call Him Father!!! Now imagine what could have happened had this incident occurred during the long stretches of winding roads and mountainous wilderness areas we met in the Yukon Territory in Canada. Once we were settled, Lonnie flew back to Fairbanks to work part of the summer.

In Georgia: We were only in Georgia for 18 months. While there, we met many wonderful people. Little did we know, at the time, that this would be a short-lived experience. We purchased a beautiful house and had just gotten it the way we wanted when God blessed us with an opportunity for another promotion.

So here we are in New Mexico, the incredible “Land of Enchantment.” You must see it if you have never been to a high desert area. It’s stunning, and the mountains seem to speak to you. The climate, terrain, and living conditions differ from anything we’ve experienced. It is much closer to the way it is in Alaska without the extreme cold. It is hot here in the desert but cooler at night.

Howard is the EEO Manager for the Bureau of Land Management, encompassing New Mexico and parts of Oklahoma, Kansas, and Texas. He travels often but still finds time to play Golf as much as possible between work, Church, and home. He is a Deacon in the Church and loves teaching the adult Sunday school class.

Howard is a wonderful grandfather. During our time in New Mexico, Briahnna grew up she was only two when we left Alaska. She and Dindem developed a strong relationship. He bought her golf clubs, and she enjoyed hitting golf balls in the backyard. When Briahna started to talk, she could not say/or would not say granddaddy, which is what he wanted the grandkids to call him. She ended up saying Dindem, so all the grandkids call him Dindem. He really likes that and often says, “I don’t think there are many Dindems out there.” We lived in New Mexico for about two and a half years.

We finally retired to Denton, Texas. We lived in an active adult community, “Robson Ranch.” Howard retired from the Bureau of Land Management only to return as a Reemployed Annuitant about four weeks after retirement. He is the Equal Employment Opportunity Manager for New Mexico, and this past April, he was asked to take on the State of Arizona. He does it all from home.

We celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with a trip to Disney World with five of our six grandchildren.

 My 70th Birthday Letter. December 14, 1942, Martha Jane Vernon was born!!!!!!

On this my 70th Birthday, December 14, 2012, I had been thinking just how I wanted to celebrate this Glorious Day. Having so many wonderful people in my Life has been a blessing. You may have heard this saying; “People always come into your Life for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints in our hearts, and We are never, ever the same”. At some point in time, our life paths crossed; I just wanted to tell you I am so grateful it did.

I have been in touch with most of you over the years; you have shared in my Life’s journey, some by letter, some by long-distance phone conversations, and some by seeing you.

My Heavenly Father, who loves me so much that he sent his Darling Son Jesus to die on the cross for me so that I could be saved, has chosen me to Bless with so much to be grateful for. For all I have been given, my Life, my Family, and my health, I am most thankful for YOU. You have been there through it–all. Even though I may not have seen or spoken to you in a while, I want you to know that I value you and your place in my Life. Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

On December 14, 2012, I was blessed to see 70 years. Who would have thought Martha Jane Vernon-Williams-Harrell would be here, would have done all the wonderful things, seen all the beautiful places, and met God’s most precious people? You will never know how grateful I am to all my Reasons, Seasons, and Life-timers for being right there when I needed you.

I have tried to keep in touch over the years, telling you about the family. All is well with the children and grandchildren. I have told you how grateful I am to have this 70th Birthday. I am most grateful for my husband, Howard. I am so grateful that over 30 years ago, he walked into my Life, became my Reason, my Season, and stayed a Lifetime, and I have not been the same.

Therefore, on this, my 70th Birthday, there will be no party, there will be no trip. I just want to sit here, meditate, and think about the good times, the times that I spent with you. The Reason you were in my Life. I want to thank God for his Goodness and Mercy, for I have done nothing to deserve his Blessings. However, I am so grateful, so grateful, for all he has done for me and so grateful to all of you for being there for me. Just so grateful and thankful. So Happy Birthday, “Martha Jane,” and Thanks and Blessings to all of you. PS: I do not feel like 70…   (laugh out loud); whatever seventy feels like!!!!

I love you all, to, some Jane to most Martha End of Birthday letter. 

We had built our dream home in Texas. We were all set, Dindem had his Golf, and I could do whatever I wanted. Even though Karen and Bree were close by, we were a long way from the other grandchildren since Trey and Trenton had moved to Michigan with Kim. Lonnie was single and lived in Maryland. He did not get married until after we had made Denton, Texas, our retirement home. Lonnie and Tiffany had a surprise wedding on October 12, 2014. It was wonderful, and everyone there shared in their surprise. Logan Allen was born on May 5, 2015, and Langston Elijah came on April 3, 2016. Dindem had major surgery in July 2016 and was recovering. Lonnie was sending pictures and videos of the boys. One day, after looking at a video, Dindem said to me why are we sitting here looking at pictures of these babies. We are too far away, we need to be closer to Lonnie and his family. I said when do you want to move, I am ready to go. So, just like that, we have come full circle, we moved back to Virginia. Varginha is Grammy’s home state and where she and Dindem started their lives together over 40 years ago.  We put our house in Texas on the market, and it sold in 7 days. We were so excited we flew to Virginia to look at homes we found online through a Real Estate agent. We looked at two places and purchased the second one we saw. Well, we had decided on it from the information we received online. We just had to see it. We closed on this house on March 3, 2017, and moved in the next day. Our little Pumpkin, Lola Ava Lucille, was born on May 17/2018. Now we are close enough to make week-end trips or be there for family birthdays, and they can drive down for Christmas.

We did not want to go any further North, and the Richmond area put us closer to my home, where I still have two sisters and many other family members and friends. Since living in Fairbanks, Alaska, we like a small town, and Chester is just our speed. We are both retired for good now, and God has blessed us to be able to make the move.  Here, we also have access to a Military Base, Fort Lee, and we like that since Dindem spent 20 years in the Army, we like going to the base and seeing the changes over the years.

Promise kept our 38th Anniversary

When we married in August of 1981, Dindem asked me if I wanted to travel and where to go. I said Germany; most people I knew who were in the military went to Germany for about three years and returned to Newport News. He said, okay, we could do that. Little did I know how long it would take to get there.

We did not go to Germany. We went to Fairbanks, Alaska, stayed there for 17 years, and raised two sons. I must say everything about our stay there was beautiful.

Moving forward to August 5, 2019, our 38th Anniversary, he shows me the itinerary for a 16-day Grand European Cruise and Tour. We flew from Richmond, VA, to New York/Newark Airport. From there, we flew for about 9 hours to Berlin, Germany—the following day, a City Tour of Berlin, Germany, then a drive to Warnemunde. We boarded the Costa Favolosa for the next 12 days with stops in 6 Countries: Denmark, the UK, France, Spain, Portugal, and Italy. We disembarked in Italy and flew back from Milan, Italy. Promise kept… It was a glorious time. We met so many beautiful people from around the world. I thank my Heavenly Father for all His blessings and safe travels. Thanks for a lovely Anniversary Gift, my Love.

 Grammy and Dindem Celebrated 40 years of marriage.

Cheers for 40 Years – Happy 40th Anniversary – August 5, 1981- July 7, 2021

The Last 41 Years at a Glance:

41 Years Together      Met June 12, 1980

40 Years of Marriage Married 8/5/1981

41 Merry Christmas and watching the ball descend.

41 Birthdays and other Holidays

3 Marvelous Children

9 Beautiful Grandchildren

5 Adorable Great Grandchildren

17.5  Amazing years in Fairbanks, Alaska

Lived in 6 different states

Newport News, Virginia                     Rio Rancho, New Mexico

Fairbanks, Alaska                               Tulsa, Oklahoma

Albany, Georga                                   Denton, Texas             Chester, Virginia

 1 Great Calling Howard accepted his call into the ministry and delivered his first sermon.

What a Wonderful and Blessed Life full of Love we have!!!

Over the years, God has placed so many lovely people in our lives. And if things were different with COVID-19, this would be an invitation to spend the Celebration of our 40th Wedding Anniversary with us.

Grammy 80 Years Young:

Thank you, God, on December 14, 2022, I celebrated my 80th Birthday. What a day, I did not plan a party. You never know what the weather will be like in December, so close to the holidays. So, I just made plans that included me and /Dindem. I started the celebration on Monday, 12/12, with a Massage; on Tuesday, 12/13, I ordered balloons; yes, I ordered my own balloons. Wednesday, 12/14, I started the day with much prayer and thanked God for my health and family. Mid-day, I had makeup professionally done. Then Dindem and I had pictures professionally done at the house. And that evening, we had dinner at the Boathouse Restaurant. What a wonderful day and evening. But we were not finished on Thursday, 12/15; we went to JCPenney’s and had more pictures taken. We topped it off on Friday, 12/16, with dinner and a show at the Swift Creek Theater.

But Dindem decided to do a Birthday card celebration, so he told all our family and friends to send cards. What a fantastic idea that turned into quite a celebration. I was so surprised when the cards started to come in. I received over eighty cards and $500.

We all have our time, but some struggle to find their Place in Time……I am blessed because God let me see my Place In Time with Dindem by my side. “A bond has been formed between us that is unshakable through time and unbreakable by any force.

“Sometimes Right in the Middle of an Ordinary Life Love Gives Us a Fairytale.” I have experienced a love that most people dream of. I am blessed, I am happy, and I am loved. I have lived that Fairytale.

Karen and Lonnie, I am so happy that God chose me to be your Mother, and I love you both with all my heart. I hope I didn’t mess up too much. He allowed me to watch you develop into the person He intended you to be. Young Howard, from the day we met until the day you left, you will always hold a special place in my heart. I will always love you.

To Briahnna, Jordan, Sadeyah, Mariyah, Trey, Trenton, Logan, Langston, and Lola, God has chosen me to be your Grammy, to love and watch you grow. My greatest joys have been loving and seeing how much you have developed.

Now, my dear children, take what you may from everything I have written. Share it with your children and their children, go out, “Find Your Place in Time,” and remember to make God first. I will always be in your heart. All my Love, Grammy.

Martha Jane Vernon Williams Harrell

Today’s date is September 12, 2023

 My Love

I could never have written to the kids and grandkids without telling you how much I love you. And I want them to know the impact you made on my Life. There are no words to describe how deeply I love you. Thankfully, God saw us and chose us to share our lives. As our passion grew into a lifetime of Love, he blessed and protected us.

Howard, My Love, you walked into my life just when I thought Love had passed me by.  You melted my heart when you said you wouldn’t leave without me and Lonnie. That is when I felt all fear and doubt slip away; I will never forget that look in your eyes.  I knew there was nothing on earth that would separate us. You are my true lover and my best friend.

You have made this world a better place for me. As soon as we said hello, the day we met face to face, the world began to change. I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t met you. I feel incredibly grateful to have you in my Life. You are a true blessing. Being next to you makes me feel truly alive.  God knows how much I love you. He’s blessed us to celebrate 42 years as man and wife. I love everything about you. Your smile, your way of taking my breath away, how I feel when I hear your laughter from another room. I never knew that I could love someone the way I love you. So, I treasure every moment of my Life with you. Even when you are upset with me and don’t want to talk, I will always be by your side wherever you are. What you have given me is greater than a dream; you are my happy ending. I can’t remember Life without you, how it used to be; it feels like a million years ago. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t love at all. My heart belongs to you, my Love.

Thank You……

I also want to Thank You for all you did in our marriage and how you cared for me and our children. Thanks for loving my children. You loved them both and took them as your own. You did not give up when times were rough. You stayed the course because God sent you straight to us. We all needed you so much.

Thank you for all the joy you have given me and our family. You saw the very best in me. You held me up and never let me fall. It was your belief in us that gave me faith.  You saw me through it all. There is nothing better than to love and be loved in return.

I may not know everything, but this I know is true: I was blessed because you loved me. Howard, my Love, thank you for loving me and sharing these last 43 years. I will always love you.

Martha Jane Harrell,  today’s date is September 12, 2023

1 Corinthians 15:10

But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them ~ yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. NIV New International Version

 

 

Lonnie Sr. & Lonnie Jr.

“Nobody is going to do your life for you. Whether you’re rich or poor, you must do it yourself, out of money or raking it in. The Beneficiary of ridiculous fortune or terrible injustice. And you must do it no matter what is true. No matter what is hard. No matter what is unjust and sucky, things have befallen you. Self-pity is a dead-end road. You Choose to drive down it. It’s up to you to decide to stay parked there or to turn around and drive out,” Cheryl Strayed

Lonnie, Sr was a joyful person; he always had a slight smile. He could be the life of the party, or he could show his temper. However, we did not go to many parties. We hung out, just the two of us, when we were not working because there were always so many people around at work.

Lonnie had one sister and six brothers, and I had one brother and six sisters. We often joked about that and how having sisters versus brothers impacted me and him and his six brothers.

He liked waiting tables, it was fast money, and he enjoyed people. I was never one to jump in or be first, so I just watched from a distance. I did not pay too much attention to him at first. Soon, I could tell that he was interested.

I was working at Dow Chemical when Lonnie and I met. I started waiting tables in Williamsburg, VA, to earn extra money to get my own place. I was staying with Aunt Mamie at the time in Lee Hall, so it was not that far away. Williamsburg is a trendy tourist city that is bustling during the summer. A server could get as many hours as you wanted, and the money was fast, tips every night. We worked in the dining room at the Hospitality House, one of the best Hotels in Williamsburg. We always got the same shift during the week, and when we worked the large banquets, we enjoyed working together. It was fun working with him, and soon I found myself talking to him more and more. We started going out after shift on the weekends when Aunt Mae babysat Karen. He worked days and nights, and I only worked on the weekends, Friday through Sunday, because it was a second job for me.

Lonnie came into my personal life very slowly, very quietly. Since I lived in Denbigh and he lived in Williamsburg, not too far apart but not close enough to pass by unintentionally. And I had a pre-teenage daughter.

Since we worked together, I was used to seeing and feeling like I knew him. He was shorter than most of the guys I dated. He was very friendly, and I was beginning to like him. He was always joking around. Sometimes I also worked as a cocktail server in the lounge. Lonnie would request to be the Bartender because sometimes the customers, primarily white men, could get out of line with the female servers after a few drinks. And Lonnie was not having any of that with me, and he would let the customer know.
We had talked about his son Troy soon after we met; he was very young. He did not talk about his relationship with Troy’s mother other than to say they only saw each other where his son was concerned. He was very protective of his son and wanted the best for him. As far as I knew, Lonnie loved Troy very much, spent time with him, and financially cared for him.

After work, our time together became more frequent, and he started coming to see me when we were off work. One night he said that he was falling in love with me. He was so cute with a big smile, and I said I love you too. I don’t think either of us was thinking long-term… well. Let me rephrase that I was not thinking long-term. Neither of us knew we would get married, have a baby, and buy a house and a new car in less than two years. Well, we did, and on October 16, 1976, we were married, and on February 2, 1978, Lonnie Jr weighed in at 10 lbs.

We had a small wedding with family and close friends. I had not planned a large wedding, I had not planned a wedding at all, but it turned into one. We got married at Aunt Mae’s house on Taliaferro’s Rd. Aunt Mae was so happy for me, and she Aunt Alice, and Aunt Carrie, did an excellent job decorating and doing the food.
Our siblings and their spouses were over thirty people between Lonnie and me. That was a very happy unforgettable day for us.

Sixteen months later, here comes Lonnie Jr. I remember telling Maxine and Beverly that I thought I was pregnant; they could not believe it. Karen was 15, and I was almost 35. And doctors told me that I could not get pregnant. But God had other plans, and Lonnie Jr. was meant to be here. My pregnancy with Lonnie Jr. was beautiful, with no problems at all. I just got bigger and bigger.

Lonnie Jr. was a wonderful surprise, baby. He was also a big baby; he weighed in at 10 lbs. I had to have a C-section. I did not think I would have any more children. Karen was 15 years old, so he had two Mommies between us. Karen was a wonderful big sister. She helped take care of him, and one of us was always holding him.
Lonnie, Sr. was thrilled; he was so into Lonnie Jr., which surprised me. I didn’t think he would be such a hands-on Dad. Lonnie would hold him and play with him. He fed him, and when Lonnie Jr was asleep in the little carrier, he would sit next to him and look at him. I could leave, and he was OK with being alone with Lonnie Jr; back then, most dads didn’t want to be left alone with a new baby. Lonnie Jr was a blessing, and all my family and friends were so happy for us. I only had six weeks of maternity leave. I did not want to return to work, but I had to. My friend Anna, who had a baby about two months before I had Lonnie and was going to stay home with her baby, offered to keep him for me. That was a blessing; she only lived a few blocks from us.

After we married, Lonnie stopped gambling and became friends with one of my classmates Robert Hunt who lived nearby. Robert was a supervisor at the Shipyard and helped him get hired there. We purchased an all brick, one-story, four-bedroom, 2 ½ bath home at 134 Harrington Rd. in the Runnymede community in Denbigh. It was not too far from where we lived in the apartment on Motoka Dr, but Karen had to change schools. His mother, Maggie, came up when we moved into the house. It was a gorgeous house, and we were thrilled at the time.

Lonnie fell in love with a car he passed every day on the way to work. He loved that car and kept talking about it. Finally, I went with him to look at it. It was a red and white 1978 Thunderbird. It was a beautiful car. I could see why he liked it so much. So, we bought it; he was so happy; I had never seen a smile like that on him.

When Lonnie and I married, I worked at Dow Badische Company in Williamsburg, Virginia. I worked in the warehouse with Maxine and Beverly in shipping and receiving. I took this job because it was straight days; otherwise, I would still be on the swing shift, rotating two weeks on days, two weeks on mid-day, and two weeks on the night shift. I was working on the machines with the WEB. Working in the warehouse was a bit harder than working the machines. There was a lot of dust, and I had to clean out a large filter where all the fiber went daily. It was not a clean job, and we got pretty dirty. We also did the shipping and receiving, which meant I had to drive a forklift. I did that the whole time I was pregnant with Lonnie, Jr. until I went on maternity leave. I had gotten so big my supervisor asked me when I would take my leave.

I knew that Lonnie gambled playing cards before we married. I never thought it was an issue, just something he did with friends after work. Working as a server in Williamsburg, nobody went home after work except me because I had another job.

The Friday night before he went to Williamsburg, Lonnie told me he wanted to hang out with some old friends and people who used to work with him. So, I didn’t overthink it; it crossed my mind that he might gamble, but when he got paid from the Shipyard, I got the check, and we did the household things we needed to do. So he went out, had some cash, gambled, and things went very wrong. There are different stories of what happened, but I will not repeat them here. We all know the result.

Lonnie Allen Williams, Sr., 34, 134 Harrington Road, Newport News, ‘died Sunday in Riverside Hospital due to gunshot wounds. A native of Fairhope, Ala., a Peninsula resident for 12 years, was employed by Newport News Shipbuilding. He was a member of Christian Valley Baptist Church in Fairhope, Alabama.

Survivors include his widow, Mrs. Martha Jane Williams; a stepdaughter, Miss Karen Vernon, and son Lonnie A. Williams Jr of the home; Troy Howard, son of Williamsburg.
His mother and stepfather, Herbert and Maggie Williams of Fairhope. His father and stepmother, Herzoll and Dorothy Williams of Fairhope; a sister, Mrs. Thelma Thomas of Alexandria and six brothers, Lionel Williams of Forestville, Md. Herbert Williams of Alexandria, Lavernon Williams of Los Angeles, Calif., Larry, and Leonard Williams, both of Fairhope and Wilbert Paul Williams of Mobile, Ala.

The Rev. Edlow of Newport News will conduct a funeral at 2 p.m. Wednesday at Whiting Funeral Home, Williamsburg. “‘Burial will be in Fairhope, Alabama, Twin Beach Cemetery. Family and friends will assemble at the residence, 134 Harrington Rd., by 1 p.m. Wednesday.
Daily Press, Newport News, Virginia, November 7, 1978, Tue.

In the early morning hours on Sunday, November, I received a call that Lonnie had been shot and taken to the hospital in Williamsburg. I was blessed to have friends that I could call. My High School classmate Robert Hunt, who had helped Lonnie get into the Shipyard, came and drove me to Williamsburg. I left Karen at home with Lonnie Jr. I remember I called someone to come and be with her. Right now, I can’t remember who.

My friends were there, Maxine, Beverly, LoLo, and Anna, we all were very close. I remember talking to Maxine more than anyone else. She was there for me the whole time. Also, my sisters Christine and Barbara were at the hospital until the end.

Troy, like Lonnie, grew up to be a wonderful young man. After Lonnie’s death, I had no contact with Troy or his mother, and I never met her.
Over the years, I have seen Tory a few times. I know he and Lonnie keep in touch, and I am so happy about that. I did make sure Troy got everything that was due to him when his father died.

“Love is cute when it’s new, but love is most beautiful when it lasts.” Lonnie Sr. and I were on our way to our forever after. We could have worked too beautiful if we had, had more time.

What does it mean to trust God’s faithfulness, and what does it look like to live out our trust in Him?
There was so much going on in my life. I did not know what to do. I had made many choices that did not come out as planned. The following is my testimony well over 40 years later.

I had just lost my husband, and he did not die from natural causes; he died of a gunshot wound at age 34. We had been married right at two years. We had purchased a new home, bought a brand-new car, and had a beautiful baby boy.

I also had a teenage daughter. I remember praying that night. I could hardly breathe. The only thing that came out of my mouth was, What? Lord, What, What am I going to do now? I have these two children, and I raised Karen without her father. But this little boy. What will I do with him without his father, without a man in his life?

God works wonders and sends the Baby lover of all time to us. Here comes Howard Harrell, My Boaz, my redeemer, has arrived. Lonnie Jr. was only nine months old when his father died, he looked for him every day, and whenever he was around a man, he would always reach for them to pick him up. It is 1980, Lonnie Jr is 16 months old, he and Howard bonded the day they met, and the bond is unbelievably strong 43 years later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE BEND IN THE ROAD
“Sometimes we come to life’s crossroads
And view what we think is the end.
But God has a much wider vision
And he knows that it’s only a bend—
The road will go on and get smoother
And after we’ve stopped for a rest,
The path that lies hidden beyond us
Is often the part that is best.
So rest and relax and grow stronger,
Let go and let God share your load,
And have faith in a brighter tomorrow—
You’ve just come to a bend in the road.”

Helen Steiner Rice