Ben Krehbiel

Hey Dad,

How’s everything going?  I guess you know something’s up, here.  I mean why else would I be writing this letter?  I guess the last one I wrote was after I got my very first ‘real’ paycheck.  Wow.  That was a fun one.  This will be too.

I love you.

I guess this letter is about that, well, I KNOW it is about that.  You’re still a young guy…even though you’ve got a son that’s graduated over a year ago, another in college, and a daughter….well..she’s got a long way to go, but it’ll go by fast too—it’s a darn good thing you and mom got started early!

I’m going to take a t.o. right here, bear with me.

After I left Brewton for college, I felt I was at the point where, if I died the next day, man….I’ve lived the best 17-18 years I could ever ask for…I felt (feel) like I was so blessed to know you, mom, ty and court, and I felt I had lived a ‘complete’ life.  Surely you know what I’m trying to say, even though it isn’t flowing quite as well as it should – especially since I’M WRITING!—ever heard of the BACKSPACE key?  maybe a little proof-reading???  Oh well, now that I’m married, I’m definitely at the point where I think about how blessed I am to have Erin.  I’m into a new life here, and there’s a lot more that I want to do…with Erin, and my kids…etc.  I’m going through a cycle of life, and I’m not ready for it to end…it’s exciting.  I still feel like I’ve lived the best 22+ years anyone could experience.

Alright, t.o. over.  I just want you to know where I am.

You ARE young.  You know that.  (you know there’s a big “BUT” coming..it’s inevitable, sorry…)  but, there’s too many things that can happen to your lungs at this young age, because of the smoking.  First of all, this letter is NOT AT ALL INTENDED to make you stop smoking.  That’s not the point at all.  I just want you to know exactly how much I (and the rest of the family) care about you.  I love you.  There’s just too many risks that a guy takes that can affect the quality of life for an extended period of time.  I mean, I know you don’t want to have to worry about chronic lung problems, or heart problems — just a bunch of smoking related crap that can complicate other things.

Now that you are totally aware I am concerned, this is my view of the future:

In the not to distant future, Erin and I will have children.  I’m still convinced that I’ll have twins.  But I’m also convinced that I’ll have a boy first. Either way, it won’t matter, but that’s what we (ME & YOU) are going to assume for our entertainment, anyway.

My 2 year old boy will be crappin his pants occasionally, beating my butt in basketball…my knees may bleed from the carpet burn.  He’ll be fetching the remote control for me, just to make me happy.  He’ll get yelled at, getting asked repeatedly, “You want some RED BUTTS?!?” Then later on he’ll be starting kindergarten, drawing pictures of his family, and his grandparents…he may be drawing pictures of his grandparent’s house in Alabama…and his little sister, or brother!  He’ll be giving me good-night kisses, and come crying to me about his scary nightmares, or wondering about what ‘heaven’ is all about…He’ll be looking forward to me coming home every night for the next “game”, whether it be basketball, chutes & ladders, ‘see how many seconds it takes to get me a beer’…you know, the usual.  He’ll ask me if I’m the smartest person in the whole world, to which I’ll reply, “No, probably the 4^th smartest!”.

Then there will be some intramural games in grade school.  I’d imagine he may grow taller than me, hopefully getting some of your height!   He’ll come home crabby, not wanting to empty the dishwasher after school.  Erin will do it—-I’ll find out….”————————-DAMNIT! What the %$#$% is this?!?….YOU BLEW IT!  You f#$^in’ BLEW IT”  He’ll be smart enough not to mistake ‘blue’ for ‘blew’…it’s MY boy we’re talking about here.  He will feel like I struck him 100 times over…without a scratch to be seen.  He will be better person than I am….mysteriously so.  I’ll give out stories to my co-workers, on how great he did in school, or maybe I’ll tell them that ‘he told me his math test counted one half of one third of his grade…so you know how he’s doing in math’…I’ll be there to console him during his toughest times, even though he WON’T go 1-13 in the championship game, and if he did…I’d share his pains with him, hold him, cry with him, tell him I love him, then pick him up.  I’d share my joys with him.  He’s so special.  How did he turn out so good?  Yeah, I’m a good guy, but man…he’s something else.

I want you to share all of this with me too.  I know you’ve shared these things before.  These emotions sure sound familiar.  I’ll only write this once.  Because I know you already know it.  SELFISHLY, I’d feel better if I knew you didn’t smoke. Those cigarettes are not worth the risk of your health to me.  LIKE I SAID EARLIER.  I’m NOT ASKING THAT YOU QUIT.  I’m just offering whatever I can do to help.  I am too, very aware, that health complications might not have a damn thing to do with the fact that you smoke, but hey, it’s just not worth the risk – to me.

As you read my son’s stories, I know you can see them…re-live them……if you think THAT is special, well, you can just multiply that by me, Ty and Court….and multiply that by the number of kids we (your children) will have.  We love you so much.  Man, oh man there’s a lot going on.

I KNOW IT’S NOT RELATED, but I don’t want you to have to fight something for a decade like your mom has.  That’s going to be tough enough on me – let alone you and your dad, brother and sister.  I know I’m writing this letter very selfishly, and I apologize, it’s just got to be said.

It has done some positive things though.  I still have yet to try a cigarette (outside of the time you told me to suck it like a straw – though I don’t remember that), and to my knowledge, I doubt Ty has tried it either.

I really love you dad.  I wish I could spend more time with you.  It would be worth it to me if I could quit my job and work with you every day.  I really mean that.  I know I’ve got other factors involved…like a wife!  But I can sincerely say that I’d enjoy going to work with you everyday.  You have done SO MUCH for me.  I just want to do whatever I can.  Whenever you give it another shot, I want you to know you can talk to me.  I realize that it may be uncomfortable to talk about this, but damn, you are the strongest guy that I know…you must get it from your mom.  IF and when you are ready to tackle this, I would propose that YOU CALL ME when you get the insurmountable urge, just before you decide to pull out a cigarette and break the streak…even if it is 4 o’clock in the morning – when you get up.  Man, I’d do anything to help.  I love you.  I know this is echoed by everyone in the family.  Mom probably cares more than all of us. –if you end up dying from lung cancer, heck, I KNOW mom will have you cremated! No doubt about it! followed by a bigass ‘I TOLD YOU SO’.

Hey.  can’t say it enough.  I love you.  And ya know what?  As much as I’d like to see the smoke-free Bradley…well, not at all costs!  I’ll tell you what, if it means a smoke-free Bradley that is crabby and grouchy for the next decade? then the next carton is on ME!

Love you buddy.

I’ve done a little research, and I’ve added it on the next pages.  It looks pretty good to me.  The neatest part is the ‘recovery times’.   You’ve probably seen it all before, but this seemed pretty detailed to me.
STOPPING SMOKING
A wide range of methods exist for quitting smoking. Family members, friends, and work associates may be supportive or encouraging but the desire and commitment to quit must be a personal decision. It may prove helpful to write up a specific list of the reasons why one wants to quit. A 1990 Gallup poll of smokers revealed that two-thirds of smokers state they would like to quit.

Past attempts to quit tobacco use should be viewed as learning experiences, not failures. Information from people who have been able to successfully quit smoking shows that 70% had made 1 to 2 previously unsuccessful attempts; 20% had made 3 to 5 previously unsuccessful attempts; and 9% had made 6 or more previously unsuccessful attempts before actually quitting.

Like other addictive behaviors, tobacco use is difficult to stop and maintain, particularly if acting totally alone. The best success in quitting has been noted with comprehensive programs that may combine various strategies, over time (usually 4 to 8 weeks with 1 or 2 hours of support per week) including education, peer support, behavior recognition, behavior modification methods, recognition of potential relapse situations, and strategies for confronting such situations. Medications that are nicotine substitutes, such as transdermal nicotine or nicotine gum, may be used temporarily in conjunction with such programs. These medications require a prescription, therefore seek the support and cooperation of the primary care provider for their use.

Comprehensive programs for quitting smoking have a successful rate of about 20 to 40% of participants. In contrast, 2.5% of people who choose to quit smoking spontaneously, without help, achieve success. Once a person has chosen to quit using tobacco products, it may prove beneficial to elicit a broad range of collaborative methods and support persons to enhance optimal success. If success is not reached initially, simply look at what occurred or what didn’t work, develop new strategies, and try again. Multiple attempts are frequently necessary to “beat the habit.”

BENEFITS OF QUITTING

• within 20 minutes of quitting
  • blood pressure and pulse rate drop to normal
  • body temperature of extremities (hands/feet) increases to normal
• within 8 hours of quitting
  • carbon monoxide level in blood drops to normal
  • oxygen level in blood increases to normal
• within 24 hours of quitting
  • risk of sudden heart attack decreases
• within 48 hours of quitting
  • nerve endings begin to regenerate
  • senses of smell and taste begin to return to normal
• within 2 weeks to 3 months of quitting
  • circulation improves
  • walking becomes easier
  • lung function increases up to 30%
• within 1 to 9 months of quitting
  • overall energy typically increases
  • symptoms associated with chronic use decrease (such as coughing, nasal congestion, fatigue, and shortness of breath)
  • cilia (fine, hair-like projections lining lower respiratory tract) function begins to return to normal, which increases the body’s ability to handle mucus, clean the respiratory tract, and reduce respiratory infections
• within 1 year of quitting
  • excess risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a tobacco user
• within 5 years of quitting
  • lung cancer death rate (for average 1 pack/day former smoker) decreases by nearly 50%
  • risk of cancer of the mouth is half that of a tobacco user
• within 10 years of quitting
  • lung-cancer death rate becomes similar to that of a nontobacco user
  • precancerous cells are replaced with normal cell growth
  • risk of stroke is typically lowered, possibly to that of a nontobacco user
  • risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, and pancreas decreases
• within 15 years of quitting
  • risk of coronary heart disease is that of a nonsmoker

Some of these are assignments in an English class

March 3, 1996

Family Ties

College life has drastically changed my relationships with the members of my family.  I was born into the world with a mother, a father, and a lot of attention, because I was the first child and the first grandchild.  I can always remember having a very close relationship with my parents.  During my toddler days, my mom would make peanut butter-filled cracker sandwiches for me while I watched “The Bozo Show,” and then I would read books with her.  When my dad returned home from work, the two of us would play a very, very intense game of basketball on my Nerf basketball goal.  The intensity was so high in this competition because every game that we played always came down to a last second shot, and the result of this final shot determined, what I considered to be, the “Championship of the World!”   The loyalty of my family actually grew stronger as my younger brother and baby sister entered the world.  My family is very competitive, including my mom.  We have always played a variety of sports within the family.  My mom and dad really put up with a lot of abuse that we were enforcing on the property.  There were constantly two dirt regions in our otherwise thick grass lawn due to home plate and pitcher’s mound.  Our garage door took a beating when I would throw tennis balls against it and field the return ground balls with my baseball mitt.  My dad even let me cut portions of our lawn very short, emulating the green of a golf course.  I know that many fathers would not allow his kids to play in this manner because of the result of slight damage to the property.  There was a limit to what we could do, but my parents really let us enjoy our childhood.  I now realize that happiness is much more important than material items, because it seems as though I really abused some of the things that we owned.

I received quite a bit of attention when the time to go to college arrived.  My parents were very interested on how I was doing in basketball, and they kept in close contact with me.  I really started noticing changes in my mom’s actions when she started taking a defensive approach when I left for school. When she would call me at Troy, she would always worry that I did not have time to talk to her, and she would just try to make me happy.  She did not want me to get tired of talking to her on the phone, so she would end the conversation early.  This technique was not a part of her arsenal in my younger days.  I would have to talk (or listen) to her as long as she wanted no matter what I was doing, and she thought that doing this to me was genuinely funny.  During my first quarter of college, she would almost treat me like a king when I came home on a particular weekend.  She would not make me clean up the house with my brother and sister.  I think her biggest fear was that I would not enjoy myself at the house, and that I would never come back to the place that I consider “home.”   I never took advantage of the situation because it was just not like my mom to treat me like that, and I just could not accept the charity.

There has never been a  choice when my dad was around the house, and there never will be.  If he saw me watching television while my bother and sister were picking up the house, then he would shoot his BRAD KREHBIEL face right at me.  This gesture is a cross between a serious Clint Eastwood and an irate Nick Nolte (48 Hours), but it is definitely known as the BRAD KREHBIEL face.  Needless to say, I would be cleaning quickly without hesitation.  My dad has also changed in a way.  It seems that he is more interested in what I am doing in college than he was in what I did in high school.  He has always treated me like an adult, and I have always been in an excited or motivated mood after talking with him, but now it is evident to me that I am just talking to my buddy.  My upbringing was so tight in the family that I will always be best friends with my parents.

Okay — we’re close, but were not “The Waltons.”

************************

March 7, 1996

College Life

The transition from high school to college can be very difficult if you are not prepared.  During Pre-College Orientation, many important tasks go unnoticed to the inexperienced student.  This is a time in which you are “babied” through registration, assigned an advisor according to what field of study you plan on pursuing at Troy State, and select a meal plan.  Most students find out on their own how to register.  You have to obtain registration sheets from the student center and make an appointment with your advisor in order to register.  Organization is the key to an easier registration.  Pick out your classes before speaking with your advisor, and pay any fines that are currently pending.  After your sheet is signed and approved by your advisor, take the registration sheet to the building of your major and pray that all of your classes will be open.

The first quarter of college can be very miserable, no matter what school you attend, if you do not know many people to enjoy the experience with during the quarter.  Alcohol is not necessarily the answer to having fun through your first quarter of college, because many people who party hard during this stretch usually fail out of school and are not around for their second quarter.  The grades during this critical period are very important if you honestly plan to climb to the sophomore level the following year.  There is an equilibrium where one can have fun and continue to make his grades.  I have managed to avoid alcohol, and I enjoy the parties.  I have been busy during my collegiate career, yet I have handled a 3.84 grade point average without having to keep my head buried into books all of the time.  I believe anybody who puts forth a sufficient, serious effort can maintain a 3.0 grade point average.

Adapting to a roommate can be a difficult challenge.  I am one of the lucky ones who got a nearly perfect roommate, but most people are not this fortunate.  When living with anybody, it is imperative that each roommate has his time alone.  Living with people all of the time can get stressful, and everyone needs his space.  Although a few sacrifices may be involved, cooperation is mandatory in a successful roommate relationship.  With only one television, each must compromise on which shows to watch.  Also, sleeping habits may interfere with past lifestyles.  Music is another item which will have to be compromised.  Living with someone can be very enjoyable if the occupants can settle a few of these differences.

The home cooked meals of long ago are no longer in effect.  Fast food and the cafeteria will be you options.  There will be plenty to eat in the cafeteria, but the desire to eat might not exist.  If you live on campus, then a meal plan must be selected according to your appetite.  There are a few different options, but the most popular among Troy State students is the 5-plus meal ticket.  This allows you to eat cafeteria food five times a week, while spending about 20 points per week on pizza or hamburgers at The Grill, next to the cafeteria.  The food is not bad and it should cure your dietary needs.

Using the information in this paper, one should be able to run through the process of registration at Troy State University without too much difficulty.  Having gone through the process myself, I understand the complications and the confusion that go along with committing to a university.  After getting past the first few days of shock, one can settle down and attend school without worrying about what to do next.  Just do not forget to pay the school!

****

Ben Krehbiel

English 101

October 20, 1995

Death

Death is the cessation of life.  It is a mystery that neither science nor religion has ever solved.  Because death is something predetermined and unfamiliar to everyone, it is usually feared.  Death is a very individual subject because it is something that one experiences without guidance.  Some people are secure with religion and comfortable with death.  Other people are so miserable that they actually look forward to death, but most people fear death and try to escape it.  Death not only affects the victim, but also the people that were active in the victim’s life.  Many people believe that death is more cruel to the people left behind, rather than the victim himself.  Olenka, in “The Darling,” says to her deceased husband after his funeral, “I’ve nobody, now you’ve left me, my darling.  How can I live without you, . . . ” (150).  The problems of confronting death, the emotional stages endured while confronting death, and the response from a man to death will determine the feelings of that man at the time of death.

I believe that death is a problem because of the way people perceive it.  People are frightened of death and will try anything to escape from this fear.  In “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge,” seconds before Peyton Farquhar was executed, he frantically composed thoughts of fleeing his death.  I believe that he started his thoughts nearly ten seconds before his death.  He convinced himself that he had escaped, but then reality struck him fiercely.  Another problem of death is that people want to do more things in life that they have not had the opportunity to do, and dying would demolish these plans.  A twelve-year-old child could look up to his parents and want to experience a similar family lifestyle, but there is a possibility that he will die before he ever has these experiences.  Although the problems of death are rhetorical, solutions exist to cover the thoughts of death and have optimism toward life.

After one has been informed that he will die soon, the body goes through several stages.

The initial emotional reaction is shock, and the human realizes he is not immortal.  When confronted with death, a person is likely to lose sanity if he is not prepared for death. After the shock is gone, denial is the next stage.  This is basically what one suffers during his attempt to escape the doom.  From denial the fugitive from death undergoes an emotion of anger at himself, or more likely, at God.  From this point the position of the man’s emotional state can transcend one of two ways.  First, he could enter a hope or prayer to be saved.  Others regress into a condition of depression over the loss of everything.  Death steals all materialistic items away from the possessor.  This depression staggers into quitting on life and accepting the unavoidable outcome.

The stages of death tell the reader very much about the emotional state of characters near the time of death.  The manner in which the characters react to the crisis determines the result of their fate.

How a person responds to death depends on the quality of that particular person’s life.  Most people get used to living and the thought of death scares them very much.  Another approach to death is from people who struggle to live throughout their lives.  These people want their lives to end as a form of relief from the world and their troubles.  This is the case with Belcher in the story, “Guest of the Nation.”   Belcher is just about to be killed when he turns down the chance to pray and says, “I’m ready, and you boys want to get it over.”  Belcher has been miserable and is complacent of his life.  He has accepted that he will die, which makes it easier for him to die.  There are some people that put great religious faith in God, and pray for eternal life.  This group views death as a transition toward heaven, not a complete end.  Although people can escape death temporarily, it is inevitable that everyone will die sometime.  The responses to death reflect the attitudes of certain people toward death, whether it is positive or negative.

Confronting the problem of death, analyzing the emotional development of the stages of death, and presenting solutions to these problems help people to understand a little bit more about death.  Death has always been feared because it is unknown.  Is death really supposed to be a topic to be concentrating on?  Death comes across negatively in almost every way.  Life is of much more importance and should overshadow death, but unfortunately humans focus on negative themes because usually the positive themes are taken for granted.  Personally, I believe in everlasting life with Jesus Christ and I must state that I have experienced the greatest eighteen and a half years that I could have ever asked for.  I believe that my life will progress even more as I live.

*************

Ben Krehbiel

November 7, 1995

English 101    

 determinaTion = SUccess

My decision of choosing Troy State University to continue my education was unique.  I received athletic (basketball) and academic scholarships from Bethel College, an NAIA division school located in central Kansas.  I would still have to pay $8000 for one year to attend that college.  Yet playing basketball for a Division One school has been my dream ever since I fell in love with the game at a very early age in my life.  My other reasonable option was to attend Troy State University on an academic scholarship that would cover tuition expenses, and I would try to make the basketball team as a walk-on.  I could pursue my dream, and attend a university for $3200 per year.  I felt as though this option was an inexpensive risk, and I thought I had everything to gain by coming to Troy State.  My determination to play NCAA Division One basketball is what brought me to Troy State University, and this determination allowed me to succeed in making the Troy State Men’s Basketball Team, joining the Sigma Chi Fraternity (EO), and declaring a major of great interest to me.       

Making the Men’s Basketball Team at Troy State has been amazing for me.  One must have determination to put on basketball shoes every day, run up and down the basketball court with athletes of much greater talent, and compete with their level of play.  Because of my lack of foot speed, I must always be in the best position on the floor according to the situation.  My physical abilities are not equal to my teammates’ abilities, but I carry some of the “intangibles” of athletics.  I am very teachable, and I maintain a good attitude that expands to my teammates.  I also do not drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes, which keeps me one step ahead of the rest of the players.  Going to school without the benefit of playing basketball would make college life less fun.  I will become a better player, and one day I will contribute to the team.

Joining a fraternity was one of the last things on my mind as school started. However, a few of my good friends are members of the Sigma Chi Fraternity, and they asked me to come to the fraternity house.  I really enjoyed talking to the brothers of the fraternity, and I decided to become a pledge.  Pledgeship requires one to strive each day to meet his goals.  Pledgeship has taught me to manage my time wisely during the week.  One must be determined for more than four months to be initiated as a brother after pledgeship, and I will do it.

After choosing to attend Troy State, I had to select a major.  Although I was not sure of what I wanted to do in my career, I reluctantly chose Computer Science as my major because I really enjoy computers.  I love to solve problems, and computer programming is really exciting to me.  I will continue to chase this degree for the next few years.  A computer programmer is usually not the type of person that owns a sociable personality.  I do not have a typical computer programmer’s personality.  I get along with many different people, and I believe this will be a huge advantage for a company that wants good relations with people.

I have maintained determination in basketball, in the fraternity, and in my classes throughout the first quarter at Troy State.  Without determination, a person has no drive or purpose, which makes everything meaningless.  I want to win at almost everything in life, and I strive to be the best person that I can be.  I think that Troy State was definitely the best place for me, and with determination, I will succeed in my collegiate career.

*************

Ben Krehbiel

Turkey Day ‘95

On Thanksgiving of 1995, I received an incredible surprise.  I was watching college football games at my grandma’s house in Kansas, when all of the sudden, the coach for the University of Kansas Football team walked through the front door.  My heart stopped in excitement because I really did not believe that he was actually coming to eat Thanksgiving dinner with us.

The story behind Coach Glen Mason coming to the small town of Minneapolis, Kansas, to eat Thanksgiving dinner with my family is quite simple.  He was dating my aunt.  I was aware that there was a chance that he would come, but it seems like he is always on the move, so I was not really sure that he would actually make it.  My ears were focused into everything that he said, which was not much, in front of my grandparents.  He talked about his two kids, and gave us a few stories about cute things that they have done.  I was really nice because he did not talk about himself all of the time, as one might think that a football coach would.  The thing that surprised me the most was the way he cannot stay in one place for too long.  We were watching the Michigan-Ohio State football game on television, and Ohio State was suffering its first loss of the season during their last game of the season, and Glen Mason grabbed the phone and called a couple of his buddies.  Coach Mason played football at Ohio State and there had been rumors that he was leaving Kansas to coach at Ohio State.

I had met Coach Mason earlier in the year at my aunt’s house, but that stay was only about 20 minutes long.  He gave me his T-shirt that he was supposed to wear to the practices because it was too large.  It was an athletic shirt, with the letters XXL in the middle of the front part of the shirt.  I saw a picture of him during practice, and he was wearing the exact same shirt, but it was an XL.  I have the shirt that he was supposed to wear.  In fact, his name is even written in marker on the inside of the T-shirt.  This is probably very insignificant to anybody else, but I thought that it was very neat.

On Christmas Day, the Kansas Jayhawks went to Hawaii to play in the Aloha Bowl against UCLA.  The big story at the time was that Coach Glen Mason was leaving Kansas to go to the Georgia Bulldogs.  He had already committed to Georgia earlier in the week.  My aunt went to Hawaii with the team.  Christmas morning my grandpa called me and told me that Karen, my aunt, had called him and said that Coach Mason had decided to stay at Kansas.  This was a shock to me, and the media did not even know yet.  Sure enough, it was announced right before the game was played, and I knew something that the whole country had to wait for.  It was a very neat feeling to know the inside track on something important like this.

In order for one to grasp how much this meant to most of us, you would have to understand that my family eats, drinks, and breaths the University of Kansas Jayhawks.  This was really a highlight for me in 1995.  After eating Thanksgiving dinner with him, I will always remember Coach Glen Mason, and I will always respect him as a person and a coach in the future.

*********

12/2/22 – I changed my original return flight from NYC (business trip) from 3p to 6a, in order to get back to watch Pierce’s first basketball game of his sophomore year. So it was a bit of a challenge to be up by 3:30a EST, get to the airport and continue a long day of travel with a short layover in Charlotte. I did everything I could to avoid checking a bag so I could zip off the plane on the return to KC. My last several trips have been frustrating on the time it takes to get off the plane to reach my vehicle in long term parking, always waiting on that blue bus that comes allegedly every 15 minutes. Of course I’ve also had more than a couple of times where even though my luggage is carry-on, they run out of space and they check the bag, which totally kills any momentum of getting out of the airport before the others on the plane.

But this day was different. After landing shortly after 11am, I was able to exit the plane in record time with all my luggage in hand, and hoped that it wouldn’t be long for the blue bus. As I approached the single file, small exit door on the secure side of terminal C, a pretty oblivious lady stopped to ask connecting flight information blocking the door. Frustrated, but patiently slipped by and darted through the vestibule hoping that the blue bus hadn’t already made it’s rounds. I looked to the right first and saw nothing, and upon looking left, I saw not one, but two glorious blue buses. And I’m the only soul at the stop. It was too good to be true. I even assumed that the first of the buses would drive right past me, surely it was full. I quickly realized I was the last stop in the circle loop, now realizing I hope I have a seat on either one of them.

As the first blue bus approached within 30 seconds of my arriving at the stop, the driver stopped and opened it’s door. I walked in with complete shock that I was THE ONLY soul on the bus. The bus driver, a large African-American man likely in his 50s, welcomed me, but the 3 minute drive was enjoyed in complete silence.

As we approached the parking lot, the driver asked me what stop I parked at. “One,please” I said.

The driver then asked how my trip went. I said, “Great, Thank you”. Then he continued with ‘..but there’s no place like home, huh?”

I said, “Amen!”

After a short time had passed and as we approached my stop, the driver asked with a smile “Are you a preacher? You look like a preacher!”

This really took me aback, and I responded with an appreciative laugh and said “Not by trade!” I’m sure he could see my smile from ear to ear, having been blessed by this unprovoked compliment, and likely the reminder I needed to Shine His Light.

As he stopped, I grabbed my luggage and walked toward the front of the bus to see his outstretched right hand and I enthusiastically shook his hand. He told me, “Well if I don’t see you again sir, I’ll catch you at the Rapture.”

This phrase was so unexpected and provided a jolt to me as I was inquiring in my mind at warp speed as to what would have provoked this man to use that phrase with me. I’ve been on this bus maybe 100 times in my life, and I cannot recall a single time I was ever on it alone. And his phrase about the rapture took me instantly to assume he attends a church that may speak more readily about end of times than the churches I’ve attended in my life. In spite of all of these thoughts, I was very cognizant that was certainly one of those “God moments” that felt special to me.

As I let go of his hand, I felt a nudge that there was something unfinished. I could have stayed and talked longer, but in many ways, more time with me would have only cheapened this experience for us. I took two steps toward the door and stopped and turned back and said “My name is Ben,” and went back to shake his hand again. “I’m Don” said the driver.

“See ya next time, Don!” I said as I exited the blue bus. Setting my record, by far, from plane landing to being in my car to drive home.

I shared this story first with Erin, then Chuck and Amy Freeman, and then my parents over the course of that weekend. I was energized to see they received this as something special as well, giving me confidence it wasn’t something I’d overstated or magnified for my own joy.

I brought this encounter up with my guys at WhiteFlag to see what they thought too.

They were all too quick to point out Don and The Bus, with obvious similarities to C.S. Lewis “The Great Divorce”. By the end of this telling, I began wondering if I was really on a bus at all. Don and God were the only witnesses.  Regardless, Don injected life in me that day.

And I can’t let the story end without including how special Pierce’s first game was. I made it on time, and he didn’t miss a shot until the 3rd quarter! He hit is first five 3 pointers, including a layup…going 6 for 6 in the first half for 17 points (14 in the 1st quarter). He finished the game with 21, and it was special.

Pierce Pro Bowl

Dad/Pierce AAU trips, JV golf “Dad, this is great!”

Mock Interview! (mom/dressed lucy)

Pitt State moment/Taylor scholorship — came up and gave me the longest hug. Best moment I’ve had with Taylor. So exciting. Hug lasted what seemed eterinity.

Ben’s decision to leave USDC for EPA  — (interview prayer ‘Freedom to work 60 hrs/week, on call 24/7, etc), also the gas station story ‘drill our own oil, and cancel the EPA’ — crazy…on the night I’m deciding whats next)

Shock of Taylor’s birth (surprised she was a girl/etc)

Journal entry of making Troy basketball / great miracle stretch of plays

8/15/11

August 15, 2011

Chase’s first day of school:  He forgot his water bottle at home, forgot to turn in a form to his teacher, and left his take home folder at school.  It’s the FIRST DAY!  His response to me:  “I know when you look through your eyes this looks pretty bad, but if you look through my eyes it was a successful day.”

1/11/12

Chase while reading a book about Kevin Garnett:  “Mom, did you know that KG was so good that in his 3rd year at the Timberwolves they offered him 126 million dollars!”

Me:  “wow, i can’t even imagine that much money.  Can you imagine it?”

Chase:  “No.  I don’t think I could ever take that much money for something.”

love that kid

the next coffee mug….as part of a conversation about Ben giving me a hard time for being dumb for leading the way to the van when I wasn’t there when he parked it…

Chase:  “Well, it’s better to be pretty and dumb than ugly and dumb.”

**

5/6/22

Mostly for chases enjoyment—-

Pierce had one helluva day in the arctic temperatures that are the DAC yesterday….

It seriously affected his body and mind physically it was so cold.

Said it was the worst thing in his life and it’s not even close…

But I shared all that to share this…

After what was shortened to about 6 laps of constant movement/swimming…it was brick time!

For the girls, it seemed Justin threw the brick all the way to the depths of about…5 feet…for their retrieval.

Pierce steps up, and of course it lands on the incline closer to 10ft depth. Pierce is probably in a delirious state, but dives in for it. On his first attempt…he is able to get there and grab it (although he said “I was closer to drowning than failure”) and bring it in.

So I think he’s blessed if those 2 hours were the worst of his life, but they can’t be overstated.

When he said the drowning/failure line, I thought of you Chase.

I think the DAC is now responsible for 2 “mug worthy” coffee mug quotes.

“This job has taught me more the value of a minute than the value of a dollar”