David Griffith

I first met your Pop Pop when he was in elementary school and I was in junior high school.  Our parents all moved into this great neighborhood around the same time. David was a cute, blonde, excitable kid with a lot of energy. I occasionally babysat for the family and always loved being part of their tribe, David was always a good kid–never rude or disrespectful to anyone.  Summers in Niantic were extra special as kids. Not only did we have a beach in our town, and weekly evening town block dances, we had fun beach cookouts at McCook’s park and swimming at dusk. All of this normal childhood was ripped from this most wonderful family on New Year’s Eve, 1968, when David’s father died suddenly.  My mother told me, with tears streaming down her face how she watched David, upon being told that his father had died, run to his room and return with his piggy bank, emptying it out, in recognition that his mother would need it. David stepped into manhood that day, and from what I have seen from a distance, intermittently over time, he did it with both feet, lovingly shouldering what he could to help his family and easing his mother’s burden. This tragedy, the loss of such a good man at such a young age, leaving your Pop Pop without his dad, who was so proud of him had to be life-altering for your Pop Pop. Suffice to say that a lesser or average person would have plenty of excuses for living a life filled with anger and resentment, and negatively impacted by pain.  Not your Pop-Pop, instead, he used it to catapult his life to have meaning, living and loving fully, cherishing life, perhaps for his father as well as his mother, to make up for the time his father didn’t have–and helping others to find meaning in their lives. When my mother, Jean Hadaway, died, I reached out to David and asked him to lead my mother’s memorial service. He cleared his calendar and came back to Connecticut for our family and led the memorial. You know you come from love. Pop Pop’s gift to you is all about love and the meaning of living life well.  Just as he has done, my wish for all of you wonderful Griffiths is that you, too, go forth and shine.- Debbie Hadaway, Niantic Conn (The Sandlot Years)

Some of my fondest memories with Dave are:  Back in the mid 70’s I had a job as a newspaper delivery boy. The newspaper had a promotion that if you could get 3 new customers within a specified time you would get a ticket to a NY Giants football game. I ended up getting 6 new customers and received 2 tickets. Even back then Dave was a Giants fan. It was my first time to a game and we both had a great day.   I appreciate and admire the way Dave has lived his life since finding Jesus many years ago as well as his desire and commitment to serve him.   Back when he accepted Christ we had not seen each other in some time but I always appreciated the fact that it was important to him to get a hold of me and tell me about it.   One of my first jobs was with Dave at the age of 13 (Dave was 14).  A man would pick us up with other young teens in a van and drop us off in various neighborhoods to knock on doors and sell subscriptions to the New York Times. Our crew was so good that we were selected to travel to Williamsport PA with our driver, get put up in a hotel, and do the same thing there. We did so well the company asked us to stay another day.   What I like best about Dave today is his commitment to his Lord and to his family. He has raised 3 great kids (not kids anymore) who have all made something with there lives and I’m certain Dave has a big influence in there lives today. I’m sure his wonderful wife June was also a big influence.  Joe Taraska – Randolph Years

Dave,  despite the struggles and challenges, my favorite memory of our time together was some of the early times in the movie theater, worshipping and praying with Iglesia Alianza together in the large theater. We built some good bonds of friendship of our people with Iglesia’s people, did children’s ministry together, did some great joint worship (especially “MYFAITH Sunday”), preached and taught well, heard some great testimonies from various people. It was a real highlight! Even though there was a lot involved in set-up and take-down, it was well worth it! Also, loved it when Dave & Dean and I met together in the Morristown Diner to strategize and pray together. We shared some great spiritual life together in all those early formative years.  Despite all the highs and lows that we experienced in our 14 years ministering together, we somehow together found a way to stay the course and finish well. I couldn’t have done it without you!  Pastor Peter Amerman – “The Ministry Years”

I first met Dave at Washington Valley Chapel in Morristown in 1987.  We became friends instantly.  Our kids were close in age and they became friends as well. We started our walk with the Lord doing many ministries together including being Elders in the Church, Boys Brigade, a Christian version of the Boy Scouts, and we organized a Harvest Festival in October, as well as Vacation Bible School in the summer.  I have seen Dave grow in the Lord over the years and for many years we attended Alliance Men’s Retreats in Pennsylvania. I greatly admired Dave’s courage when he left his full time job to go into the ministry as a Youth Pastor.  One of my fondest memories with Dave is when we took the Youth Group down to Florida to help out after a tornado hit the Orlando area.  I have never seen such devastation, and it was amazing to see Dave along with the youth, to comfort people who lost everything!  I will never forget one family that we bought groceries to, where Dave and I were comforting the parents, while the Youth Group girls took a 7 year old girl into another room to comfort and talk to her since she was now having trouble sleeping, since the tornado happened in the middle of the night. We both left the Morristown church, although we still kept in touch and remained friends. Years later he approached me and wanted to know if we wanted to be part of a church plant in a movie theater in Morristown and of course I said yes..  To be able to minister in Morristown was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up and from there we went to a church in Parsippany where Dave and I served the Lord. Dave and I started a bible study in our homes and continue to have it to this day. In addition, we played a lot of golf together including the Bible Open, which is a fundraiser for Market Street Mission in Morristown. To sum everything up, I have enjoyed many years doing things together and enjoyed watching him grow in the Lord. And to this day I consider him a close friend.  Paul Pagano – “The Ministry Years”

So many memories!   Life on Lake Road – pre-speed bumps (loved it when the bridge was being redone – a much quieter road then!),  having baby boys weeks apart, and watching their friendship and fun for so many years,  long Governing Board meetings at WVC.  I always tried to help out by saying, “I move to adjourn” lol,  watching you grow in your faith and in your skills in sermon delivery. Probably my favorite memory was the summer day that you came to pick up (or was it drop-off?) Robert at our house in Mendham.   I asked you what was new with you, and you replied, “Well, I’ve just resigned as pastor of my church” and told me you weren’t sure what God was calling you to next, and, as I recall, that you had a heart for ministry maybe in Morristown.  I knew that Pastor Pete was in a similar position and gave you one another’s contact info.   And what a beautiful thing it was to see what happened next.   I had been thinking that you could encourage one another, but you ended up encouraging one another together!   And then Dean and Iglesia Allianza added much joy and depth to that time.  It was such a special group and time for Jimmy and me, together with you at The Well and at Living Waters. Dave, a few things that I love about you are your earnestness for Jesus, your transparency in your life, and the integrity with which you live.  Linnea & Jim Mescall – “The Ministry Years”

It was his “charisma” that attracted us to Pastor Dave.  His meaningful,  heartfelt, emotional delivery of the Lord’s message for the day, conveyed in a simple, easy to understand way, always touched us, and was memorable.  His use of “visuals,” to drive home the message, was always fun!  He did not preach at us but to us.  You know he believed in what he said.  He will remain in our hearts always.    Tom Meikle, Nancy Deubel.  – “The Ministry Years”.

Some of my best memories about my good friend Dave:  Morristown brother in Christ! Church Softball teammate !! Golf partner that golfs like me lol! Youth mission trips to Arizona and Montana, A place to stay when I needed it! A prayer partner at the kitchen table praying about the Morristown church startup!   Good friend always!   Karl Samuelson – “The Ministry Years”

Well, what is a book without an epilogue?   I just want to say that writing this book was one of the best things I have done in my life.  I had been thinking about it since the day my sister Carolyn placed the thought in my head (thanks Carolyn) but never found the time as life gets busy.  Low and behold the year 2020 came and what happened “COVID-19” put a halt to almost everything for a few months.  So I suddenly had the time to sit and reflect on my life.  This final reflection is what I discovered.

Through life, you have certain dreams, expectations that you hope for.  I remember as a kid I loved to make people laugh and me and my friend Joey Coleman talked about being comedians and traveling the country together.  Well though I had some brief moments in 8th grade and in my time in Youth Ministry, it never panned out as most things we want to become as kids never do.  I wanted to play football and dreamed of being a star QB in HS and when I got older.  That dream was squashed by my skinny – 137lbs dripping wet HS weight and a kid named Nick Mygas who pummeled me at every practice in 8th grade before he went on to star as a Linebacker and Captain for Navy Football.  I also wanted to see the world and for a brief time, I did, while in the Navy, and had a blast, and hope to do more in my twilight years with June.   So if you look at it in one way, life is full of unfilled dreams and disappointments.  Or, you can choose to look at it in another way, we may have dreams but God places us on a path that he chooses to fulfill our purpose.  That’s what I have learned as I look back on life.

Life, yes it is full of heartaches I would love to change, like the passing of people in my life who were gone to soon: my father, Pop-pop, Chris Poulos, and Nicky.  Though pain is part of the human experience and difficult to understand when it is happening, time begins to reveal how good can come out of painful moments.  My father dying so young placed us on a different course in life, but through it, I met my life’s partner, June and now have a wonderful family Crystal, Christopher, Robert, along with their spouses Ryan, Joy, and soon Lizzy.  Through them, I  have 5 wonderful grandchildren: Brody, Anna, Camy, CJ and Keagan.  As my granddaughter, Anna said one day when I talked to her about my father’s death; through that tragedy, God gave me a wonderful family as a blessing in return.  Even with Nicky’s death, I’m now seeing Uncle Eddie starting to read the Bible and talking about looking forward to seeing Nicky again.  It’s like God says in his word in Isaiah 61:3 “he makes beauty out of ashes”.  

So as I looked back on my life during these last few months while I wrote my story, I discovered that same thing that George Baily found out in the movie this book is semi titled after, “It’s been a wonderful life and I have been truly blessed”.  During the writing of this book as I reflected on my life’s event, there was a mixture of emotions, happiness, tears, heartache of years gone by so fast, but most of all satisfaction for a life well-lived.  Do I wish at times I was more financially successful?  Yes, but as I have come to learn, true success comes from the relationships formed during the journey.

So as I look back on the highlights of my life these are the things that flood my memory and give me a joyful heart: growing up in the 60’s and ’70s when life seemed much simpler,  living in Connecticut and remembering the “sandlot years”.  Growing up in a time of life where everyone was like a family in your neighborhood and all the Moms were always home when you walked through the door after being outside all day playing with your friends.  Moving to New Jersey and having my grandparents live close by so we could have Sunday dinner with them on Lake Road and going to the Corner Store (Neits Store) to buy Archie comic books, Madd and Cracked magazines.  Being able to work at the Babe Ruth World Series in Morristown at the concession stand and getting to serve a hotdog to  “Lefty Grove” from the Yankees and Pete Lucia from the band ‘Tommy James and the Shondells”.   Of course, moving to New Jersey placed me on a path to meet my wife – “June” and the rest is history.  Joining the Navy and getting to see and live in two different countries, and having June along to enjoy it with me.  Having children young and enjoying many fun memories like,  family vacations down the shore, Myrtle Beach, Disney World, and all their sporting events, plus just being a Dad.  I’ll never forget the time when we drove down to Disney with Robert and as we passed under the “Welcome to Disney World” sign hearing him say “wow” in the backseat.  That was one of my favorite trips as Crystal and Christopher flew down and we were with Aunt Debbie, Eddie, and Nicky.   Then I had the joy to go again years later with my children and grandchildren, and hope to go again one day. Also, watching and cheering on each child when they were young: Crystal, Christopher, and Robert at their many sports activities and coaching each of them at one time.  Now I get to do the same as a Grampa cheering on my grandchildren as they play their many sports: Baseball, Hockey, Lacross, Soccer, Basketball, and soon football.  Though now I’m much more relaxed and can sit back in my “Pop-Pop” chair and enjoy them playing without yelling!!

I also look back on how blessed I was following God’s leading and going into ministry.  My favorite years were at Washington Valley Chapel and being in Youth Ministry.   I loved going on the missions trips with the Youth group to places like Colorado where we camped out under the stars in the Utah desert with the cry of coyotes in the distance.  Going the see the Grand Canyon and seeing the teen faces as they looked in awe at God’s creation.  Going to Montana and white water rafting down a river in “Big Sky” country.  Horseback riding with the Youth group across the open Montana country, yelling at Karl to hurry up as he was lagging along on a horse named “Mare”.   Then riding the horses across a Montana river and watching the instructor and her horse fall in after she warned us about the hazards.  Driving down to Flordia with some teens to help in the Tornado disaster relief, and handing out toys to small children whose homes were destroyed.  There were also the many weekend trips up to Lake Champion and doing skits in front of the kids making them laugh.  Though I had to put up with “bugger walls”, teens chasing buffalo across the open wilderness (Matt & Josh) and almost getting killed, a tongue piercing on the Myrtle Beach trip, and being escorted off the paintball property by the management after being caught sneaking in our own paintballs, plus other teenage nonsense, it was worth it as I was able to do all these things with my son Christopher and his high school friends.

Now as I am in the last phase of my life watching my children as adults and parents of their own (Roberts time will come) I can’t be more proud of how they have turned out.  How Crystal has become a great school teacher loved by the kids she teaches.   Christopher following in my shoes into the technology world and now getting a chance to fulfill his calling as a coach for school sports.  Robert following in the footsteps of my father (his grandfather) and becoming a Mechanical Engineer and doing well in that field.  As I look at how my children have succeeded not only professionally but personally with families of their own I can sit with a smile and count my blessings.  June and I have even had the blessing of having Crystal and her family and Christopher and his family move back in with us for a short time as they each waited for their next step in life.  Both those times were wonderful memories.  

To conclude: as Frank Sinatra once said in a song, “regrets I had a few, but then again too few to mention” I guess sums up all of our lives as we look back.   The only thing I would change about that song is instead of saying “I did it my way”, my story would have the line “I did it, God’s way”.  I hope each of you, my children, and one day my grandchildren, after you have read my story,  that you have learned a little bit more about Dad/Pop-pop and have enjoyed the pages in these chapters that made up my journey, learning about how I grew up and the events that have shaped who I am.  Enjoy your own life journey, learn from your mistakes, don’t hold onto regrets, allow God to teach you through the pains of life, and most of all embrace the path God has for you.  I would like to end with this scripture that gives a great depiction of life.  Embrace it, enjoy it and most of all live it.  (This verse was made into a song by the Byrds called “Turn, Turn, Turn”)

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 a time to be born and a time to die,  a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh,  a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Remember most of all this verse:  “ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart”.

God Bless you all,  Dad/Pop-pop

Hopefully, when we all look back on our lives we will realize that it has not been the things we have accumulated during our lives that made us richer but the relationships we had with the people in our lives.  Family and friends that have come and gone are the ones that made life worth living.  Some come into our lives for a lifetime while others come in and take part of it as a scene.  I would like to end this book and acknowledge those who have journeyed with me for my life and those who impacted me when they entered for a short time.

To My Wife, June:  Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”  At 17 years old you came into my life and life took on a whole new meaning being with you.   We quickly fell in love and married early.  Though we have had our typical struggles through life I can’t think of anyone I would want by my side but you.  We traveled and lived in two different foreign countries together while in the Navy – I’m so glad you were there with me experiencing life in Okinawa and Scotland as two young kids – having fun.  You have stuck with me during all my job and career changes – especially during the ministry years when we never knew what God was going to do next.  You have been a wonderful Mother and now an awesome grandmother.  Thank you so much for all you have done for me – I have been a better person because of you.  I have truly “found what is good and received favor from the Lord”, I love you forever.

To my Mother:  Though God took my father away from me at an early age, he has certainly made up for it by allowing you to have such a lengthy life.  When I look back on the first years after Dad passed, I realize how much of an amazing and strong person you were and still are.  They must have been difficult years but you pushed through and made sure your children had happy lives.  Even in those early years, we were never without and you made sure of that.  Your support throughout the years for me has been invaluable – going into the Navy – getting married at 17 – going into ministry – and I am a better man because of you.  Thank you for all you have meant to me – I love you.

I once read that if you haven’t started to create a life that offers something of value and sustains long after you’re gone or at the very least, make an indelible impression in the world, then, you’re not living your soul purpose! As I mentioned in my last chapter, “Leaving a Legacy”, I hope that I have and will continue to make that impact.     With that in mind, I want to acknowledge the men who have made that “indelible impact” on my life and have helped shape my character:

My Grandfather – Pop-pop:  Since I lost my own father at an early age it was my grandfather who became a father figure in my life.  He was a person I could look up to and hopefully emulate.  He was a kind passionate and caring man who we could always count on to calm down any situation.  He never raised his voice but spoke loudly with his actions.  Thank-you Pop-pop for giving me someone to strive to be like as I interact with my own grandchildren.  You are the reason I call myself Pop-Pop, I just hope I am half the Pop-pop you were.  Miss you and love you!!

Chris Poulos:  The description I gave about my grandfather can be duplicated for my father-in-law.  Chris became my second father.  I may have upset him by taking his daughter June away so young and so far for a few years but I know the relationship we formed once we returned home was something we both cherished.  I cherish the many years we had together deer hunting out in Mendham, watching sports together, talking Navy, and just enjoying our family together.  Losing Chris was like losing my father over again but his memory and impact he made on my life have not faded and are still with me today.  I also see his life being played out in two people in my life: my wife June and my son Christopher.

The men in my life that mentored me spiritually:

Bill Wood:  Bill was the leader of the Boys Brigade program I attended in my High School years.  His commitment to the program, an example of Christian leadership, and care for the boys in his program left an impact on me.  He was the male role model I needed during the early years after my father died.  Fifteen years later when I found Jesus he was one of the first people I thought of to thank.  He was still at Bethlehem Church running the program when I became a Christian in 1986 and continued to run Brigades into the early 2000s.  I was able to go back and tell him the impact he made on my life.  He invited me to speak to the boys who were in the program at that time and then asked me to be the guest speaker at a dinner banquet.  He was still the leader when both my boys, Chris and Robert were in the program in the 1990s.  I again had the honor to speak at his retirement banquet sometime in the 2000s with myself and Joe Taraska in attendance.  Thanks, Bill for your commitment to Christian leadership and excellent role model for boys for over 40 years.

Jim Robertson:  Jim taught me that in life make sure your “yes is yes and no is no”.  His love for Jesus and his hunger for the word of God was infectious.  Jim was the constant smiling face and positive attitude up at Washington Valley Chapel.  I never met someone who was so passionate to tell people that “Jesus loved them”.   He even wrote that phrase on many golf balls so if a ball got lost and someone found it, they would know that “Jesus loved them”.  It was Jim that encouraged the men to attend the retreats, it was Jim who showed love to the many children that passed through Washington Valley Chapel, it was Jim that left an impression on not only me but my sons and grandsons.   I’ll never forget the many men’s retreats we went too together.  Also, the many golfing outings we went on, especially the Bible Open.  His encouragement and patient instructions on these outings helped me get better at the game he loved.  He was always there when you needed him, always kind and giving.  He was a brother with a big “B”.  For years I went with Jim to the Morris County jail to conduct a Bible study for the inmates, many who came to know Jesus through his ministry.  The night he passed we were there singing hymns around his bed at the hospital, singing him into heaven.   It was a pleasure to give his eulogy at his memorial service so I could tell others what Jim meant to me and many others.  I miss my old friend and golfing has not been the same since his passing. I will finish with an old phrase he often said when we golfed, “back forever, look up never”.  Well Jim I’m still trying to perfect that, but after I swing and hit the ball, I catch myself looking up to see if you are smiling.

Charlie Harrah:  In the early years of my Christian walk, Charlie came to Washington Valley Chapel as the Sr. Pastor.  He and his family stayed for almost 10 years, which I feel were the best 10 years of my Christian life.  Through Charlie’s teaching and preaching, I grew tremendously in my faith.   Charlie was a storyteller and could make the scriptures come alive and become more personal.    It was Charlie that was there as my mentor when I was studying for the ministry.  His mentorship is what shaped my future ministry and how I adopted the concept of storytelling in my sermons when I became a Pastor.  Thanks, Charlie to being there during the early years of my Christian walk and laying the foundation that is with me today.

Pete Amerman:  I met Pete when I was going through a phase in my Pastoral Ministry where I was without direction asking myself and God, what next?  I was introduced to Pete who was in the process of planting a church.  We both connected and have been together in ministry since 2004.  Pete and I started ‘The Well Christian Ministry” together, went on to begin and Co-Pastor, “Living Waters Church” together, and are still together at the writing of this book.  When Pete needed to step down from being the Lead Pastor and I was asked to take the role, he easily stepped back and supported me as his Pastor, even though Pete had much more schooling and experience.  He has been a great mentor and friend for the last 16 years.  Thanks, Pete for being there for me, supporting me, and guiding me through some tough times.

Paul Pagano:  I met Paul when I was attending Washington Valley Chapel.  Paul and I became Christians around the same time.  Our families became very close, with our children growing up in the church together.  Paul has been my closest friend since 1986.  We have walked with the Lord together,  grown together, and raised our families together.  Paul and I ran a Boys Brigade Ministry together for 4 years at Washington Valley Chapel. In Youth Ministry, he came with me as we took a group of teens to Florida for Tornado relief.  When I went into the Pastoral Ministry, Paul supported me and has followed me and my ministry.  When we started “The Well Christian Ministry” he and Patty came and were a vital part of that church.   When we began Living Waters Church in Parsippany, he and Patty came over and have been a vital part of that church.   I could not see walking with the Lord without Paul being with me.  Proverbs 18:34 says “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”,  that not only describes Jesus but also describes Paul.  Thanks, buddy, for your years of friendship and support.  

Karl Samuelson: I met Karl also in the early years of my Christian life at Washington Valley Chapel.  Like Paul, Karl came to know Christ around 1986 and we are forever linked to one big event.  The Mets-Red Sox World Series in 1986.  Karl and I did not know each other but on the night of game 6, I was on my knees in front of my TV praying hoping the Red Sox would pull it off.  Karl told me he was doing the same that night but praying for the Mets.  Well God answered Karl’s prayer that night because we know what happened.  Karl was there at WVC to help support me while I was leading the WVC youth group.  Karl came with me to a few events with the teens and was with me when I took the teens on two summer trips, one to Arizona and the next year to Montana.  Karl helped me plan trips and then was an important helping hand on those trips.  I have some good memories of those summers. Karl and I also did some odd jobs together for a couple of years, painting houses, gutter, lawn work called our little business “K & D Odd Jobs”.   We both ran a softball team together for many years.  Karl has been a great friend and brother in the Lord.

Of course, life would not be the same without family and friends who have shared it with you.  I have mentioned in past chapters how precious my children and grandchildren are to me.  I also want to thank my siblings, Joanne, Carolyn, and Scott who have walked the journey of life with me.  We have been through a lot but we have stayed together supporting Mom and remaining close.  I also want to mention my step-father Steve who I am grateful that he came into my Mother’s life and cared for her for close to 25 years.  I am grateful that he treated my mom as an angel and supported me in my Navy decision.  Steve told me that the night before I left for the Navy he had a dream that he went with me.  I’m sure we would have had a blast together.

What is life without some good friends who have entered into the scenes of your life to walk with You? I have already mentioned and named many in previous chapters.  Thanks to Dave Akromas who was a good friend in HS and came into the Navy with my on the “buddy system”.  Dave still calls me to kid me about how I talked him into going in the Navy and he ended up in the belly a ship as a Boiler Tech while I lived in luxury as a CT on land for 4 years.  There was  Bob Dees who I met in Scotland who was my hunting companion and friend.  Al Nagle and Tom Hinkleman who I also met while in Scotland where we hunted together and still remain good friends to this day.  The three of us will always be linked to our two years together overseas.  Dave and Kathy Galya who we met on a train ride down to Disney World.  They saw me reading my Bible and being Christians we began to talk about our common faith.  We ended up spending the week together and remained friends for many years until the Lord took Kathy home.  There were Steve and Marisa Cree who were my two right-hand people and main support when I was the Pastor down at Calvary Gospel for 3 years, I couldn’t have done it without them.   I am also thankful for current friends who are with me now, walking life and faith with me: Tom and Nancy, Pete and Sue, Paul and Patti, Ida and Anthony, Mike and Janice, John and Sue.

Remember in life that to be successful in anything you need to first have a strong family unit who supports you and will never abandon you in times of trouble.  Cherish those around you that God has given you.  You also need good friends and mentors to help you along the way.  Be careful who you surround yourself with.  Make sure they are people who speak positively into your life and also are willing to correct you when you are wrong.  Most of all keep God at the center.  If you have those things then maybe the title of your story one day can also be “It’s Been a Wonderful Life”.

With all the love and blessing to all,     David (Dad, Pop-pop)

P.S.   On the back cover of my book I have a picture of Saber and I in Scotland.  I struggled with what pictures to use on the cover of the book that would reflect my life.  After a discussion with my wife June about using Saber, she was all for it as she knows what he meant to me.  June and I purchased Saber when we lived in Scotland.  He was our very first dog (2nd if you count Rusty who we only had a few weeks) and as good as Lilly and now Sammy are good dogs, neither have topped Saber, or any other dog to come.  Saber was a champion hunter as I mentioned in previous chapters.  I spent hours upon hours training him and it paid off.   When he hunted down in South Jersey the guys called him “Champion” and everyone loved him.  Not only was he a great hunting dog but he was a great companion.  Saber represents everything good about our past.  Bought in Scotland, coming home being part of the family in the early years.  Our neighbor Mr. Gilman loved him and treated him as his own dog.  My father-in-law Chris loved him and loved to take care of him when we went away on vacation.   When I walked down the street with him, as he walked by my side without a leash because he was trained to heel, people would look and smile.  I once saw a guy hitch-hiking with a sign to California with a black-lab next to him, I pictured myself doing that with Saber.  Saber passed away mainly from hip disease probably brought on by the many years of jumping into cold water to hunt.  If he could have talked he probably would have said “it was worth it, that was what I was born to do”.  He passed the same year my father-in-law Chris passed, 1990.  It was a terrible year losing both Chris and Saber.  I will never forget when I took him to the vet that fateful day, knowing what was going to happen.  The vet gave me a few moments alone with Saber to say goodbye, I will cherish those last moments.  I buried Saber up on the hill in our backyard with many tears.  It’s been years since he has been gone but I think of him often and love to look at old pictures of him as it brings back many good memories.  I stroll up there every so often to wipe the dirt away from his stones and repaint his name on them.  I believe God gave man dogs to show us in a way what unconditional love is about.  They love us much more than we could ever love them, just like God.  Billy Graham was once asked if dogs went to heaven?  He answered, “God will prepare everything in heaven for our perfect happiness, and if it takes my dog being there I believe he will be there.”   Sleep well, my old friend see you one day in heaven.  In the meantime, you and Chris continue to enjoy your time together.

POST-NAVY ADJUSTMENT

With my Navy years over, it was time to begin to look toward the future.  I went in the military as a 17-year-old, single man and I was now getting out with a wife and a new child, wondering what to do now with my life.  June, Crystal and I moved into June’s parent’s house all living upstairs in one room.  It was nice to be home, having family around, everyone was excited not only that we were home but about our newest addition Crystal.  The big excitement at that time January – February 1980 was the Winter Olympics as the underdog US Hockey team was captivating the country as they rolled through the Olympics, beating the Russians and winning the gold medal.  We were so glad to be home to witness the event, sitting downstairs in June’s parent’s house all watching together around the fireplace, life was good.  For me the first month or so was great, but then the reality of what to do next was weighing on me.  I loved my job in the Navy, but how does that translate into civilian life.  I needed a plan as we couldn’t just live in June’s parents’ house as much as we were enjoying our time with them.

The first step was finding a place to live. My mom told me we could move into my grandparent’s house in Morristown as a start.  With both my grandparents passing away last year, the house was empty, not being used and for my Mom, the perfect use would be for her son, his wife, and her new grandchild to live there.  My mom has often told me that after Crystal was born, my grandfather was worried about where we would live when I got out of the service in a few months.  He told my Mom one day that he was going to move out of the house and rent somewhere so the house would be available for us when we got home.  It was just like him to want that as he was a very loving man.  Of course, my mom told him no as none of us we would want that for him.  He passed away suddenly right after that, almost as if he was saying in his death – “OK the house is now available for David and his family, as I have moved on to another place, to be with Martha” (his wife, my Grand-mother who had passed away just months earlier).  I have often thought of that and figured that was just like him – I have forever been grateful, though I have missed him and wish he could have seen Crystal in person (along with my other children).  So June and I started fixing up the house so we could move in.  Though I told June, I am so appreciative of having a house to move into, but I don’t plan on staying in Morristown.  For me, Morristown still had the stigma of not being a great town to raise a family.  Even though I had been around Morristown my whole life, living there for a year as a teen, it seemed too big and city like to raise a family.   I was used to more of the suburbs and wanted to raise my family in a nice development like I grew up in.  Plus, after spending 2 years in Scotland, I wanted to raise my family in a more rural setting.  I wanted to head west more toward Randolph, which was less populated back then.  Heck, I even considered Pennsylvania, anything seemed better than Morristown.  Well, you all know how that turned out – still here in the same house – been a blessing.

Well, we now had a home, a car which was also my grandfather’s, but now I needed a job and a career.  Finding a rewarding job was the biggest part of my adjustment to civilian life, which I was struggling with.  I have to admit, I was missing Navy life, the traveling, the overall security, and mostly my job.  My lowest point came when I was on unemployment during the first few months after getting out of the service.   Two main requirements back then when you were collecting unemployment was: you had to be actively looking for a job and be open to temporary work if they had something to offer.  I was asked to accept temporary work for a small packaging company in Pinebrook.  My job for the week I was there, placing bicycle chains in a box for shipping to bicycle stores.  Just a few months ago I was working for the US Navy, living in Scotland, monitoring intelligence from around the world in order to keep our country safe.  Here I was now sitting in a warehouse in Pinebrook NJ, placing bicycle chains in a box.  I think that was one of the lowest points of my life professionally.  I was so depressed and wondered if I would ever be happy in civilian life.  While I was in the service I ran into people who had gotten out of the service, had difficulty adjusting to civilian life, and ended up going back in.  I would think to myself that it wouldn’t happen to me but here I was going through the same adjustment. If at any time June would have said we should go back in, I would have run down to the nearest recruiter and signed back up again.  I even gave serious thought of joining the reserves, as it would have required serving in the Navy one weekend a month, and then two weeks in the summer, possibly back in Scotland.   In spite of my struggles, I was determined to make it work since I knew now that we were home and June (remember she is Greek) was getting settled in and there was no going back – so forward we go.

LIFE BEGINS TO MOVE FORWARD

Within a short time, I made two decisions, I found a job at a company that would train me on how to install burglar and fire alarm systems in residential homes.  Shortly after that  I took advantage of my military benefits and signed up for an 18-month course at Chubb Institute of Technology to begin a new career in the computer field using the GI Bill which ended up paying for the entire program.  My job as a burglar/fire alarm Installation Technician was interesting.  For the next two years, I would go around to homes throughout NJ and parts of NY and crawl through attics and basements wiring up homes with alarm systems.  In the 1980’s everything was hard-wired so we would have to drill into people’s walls and windows to run wires, hiding them the best we could.  A good percentage of people whose homes we went into were wealthy and many had already been robbed.  I once wired up the home of  Malcolm Forbes Jr who was the son of business tycoon Malcolm Forbes.  I spent two weeks in his home, never saw him once.  The most exciting or scary thing that happened to me was a time when me and another guy installed a system in a large home in Upper Saddle River.  We had been working there a few days and often when you are wiring a home you would test the alarm which could be heard throughout the neighborhood.  One day as we were busy, suddenly I heard someone yell outside from a window we had opened, “Freeze, get down on the ground”.  I looked over where I heard the voice and saw a man at the window pointing a gun right at me.  I couldn’t see who it was and thought we were being robbed.  I turned to run and the guy yelled, “I have this gun pointed right at you, one more step and I’ll drop you”, at which I froze in my tracks.  All of a sudden a police officer bust through the back door and yells for me and my partner to hit the floor and spread our arms.  The guy must have been a rookie as he came through those doors like a cop in a movie scene, yelling with both hands clutching a gun, he looked as nervous as we were.  I hit the ground, spread my arms and legs and started to explain to him that we were not robbing the place.  He yells at me to shut-up, then stands over me, places his knee in the small of my back, and puts his gun to the back of my head, and begins to pat me down.  Finally, I was able to convince him who we were and what we were doing by showing him my ID and he calmed down.  Apparently there was a rash of burglaries in the area in recent weeks.  Someone heard the burglar alarm go off during our testing and spotted my black pickup truck in the driveway, which was the description of a vehicle seen leaving a burglary scene just days before.  We had uniforms that we were typically supposed to wear (shirt and pants) that identified us as technicians for this company.  That day both my partner and I were wearing jeans and had taken off our shirts, both of us were wearing only a t-shirt.  So when the police arrived and looked into the house we probably looked like burglars.  After they left, we had a good laugh but remained nervous for the rest of the day. When we completed the job we were glad it was over.  Right after that incident the company changed it’s rules and required all technicians to wear their shirts at all times.  Chubb Institute was a challenge but I enjoyed the whole process of problem-solving.  A programmer’s job is to control the function of a computer through logic by writing code that converts into a set of instructions a computer can follow. Back then everything was done on big main-frames that were programmed by inserting these perforated cards into the system.  I became efficient in coding in Assembler programming and also learned COBOL which was the main computer language in those days.  So for two years, I was working full time during the day, going to school two nights a week along will raising a family.  Life was moving along.   It was during that time that I received a letter in the mail from the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA).  They were looking for ex-military people who worked in the Special Intelligence field in the service to continue that type of work with them.  I was excited, this was it, I could go back to the same type of job as I did in the Navy, but do it here in the USA.  The CIA headquarters was in Virginia not far away, June would still be close to home and I could go back to the work I enjoyed most in my life.  I told June though she wasn’t as thrilled as I wanted her to be, she said I could pursue the position.  I set up an interview with a CIA agent which was held in a hotel room in Saddle River, NJ.  I remember the interview went well, the guy told me they were looking for former Cryptologic Technicians and I had all the skills they wanted.  All I had to do was set up an appointment at the agency in Virginia to take a polygraph test, if I passed, I would be hired.  Then came the news that would halt the entire process, he began to tell me about my first assignment.  He said every new agent that is hired would be assigned to American Embassies in various countries around the world.   The assignment would be for a minimum of 10 years before I could be reassigned to the states.  I knew right then that it was over, there was no way I was going to pack up my family and move back overseas.  Not only would June not want to go, but she was also pregnant with our 2nd child (Christopher) plus the prospect of working at an American Embassy was scary for both of us.  In 1979 while I was stationed in Edzell Scotland, a group of radical Iranian students stormed the US Embassy in Tehran, holding those working at the embassy hostage for 444 days (many who were in the Special Intelligence field).  Many of them were beaten and tortured during their time in captivity.  I remember when it happened I was still in Scotland and our base was in lockdown and under high security for a short time period.   The news of the Embassy attack was the center of the world news for its duration until they were released on January 20, 1981.  I remember the entire country watched as the hostages were flown home to the US, loaded in buses and driven down the center of Washington DC,  people lined the streets in celebration.  With all that fresh on our minds, the prospect of us going overseas to live and me working at an embassy stopped everything in its tracks.  Even though I had set up the appointment to go to Washington DC for a polygraph test, I called them a few days later and declined the job – my future as a CIA agent was over before it ever started.

LIFE CONTINUES ON

So I continued on with Chubb, graduated, and began the process of looking for my first job as a Computer Programmer.  There were plenty of opportunities, mostly in NYC, which I was not thrilled about.  My job recruiter sent me in for an interview with a company in the city.  Sitting on that train, I just could not see myself living that lifestyle, of commuting into the city every day, but I went.  On my very first interview in the city on the way home the train stops and sits for a while.  The news was that a commuter apparently had a heart attack and they had to pull him off and take him to the hospital.  That sealed it for me, I was not going to accept any job in the city, it was not only a bad omen for me, but it was my excuse not to commute into the city for the next 20 or so years.    I was offered the job, but turned it down, upsetting my recruiter who then removed me from his client list.  I ended up finding a job on my own at a small company in Parsippany, called Dominion Data.  I would be writing programs in Assembler language where I stayed for 8 years.  From there I went on to work for ADP in Roseland, as a Commuter Systems Analyst, where I worked for the next 13 years.

LIFE IN THE 80s

Life was going well in the 80s.  My family began to grow.  In 1981 our second child – Christopher was born (August 7th), I now had a daughter and a son, life was great.   Life pretty much settled as normal, working, going to family functions – Greek Easters, picnics, family outings, playing softball on June’s cousin’s team “The Artist” and vacations down the shore.  My two buddies who I was stationed with in Scotland (Al Nagle and Tom “Hink”, Hinkleman) were now out of the Navy and both living down in South Jersey where I would take Saber on duck hunting trips.  June’s dad and I were growing close and would go deer hunting and fishing together.  Chris was becoming like a second father to me (more on him in later chapters) and I loved hanging out with him, talking outdoors and Navy adventures.  My NY Giants were now a good team and making the playoffs 3 times between 1980-1985, after going my whole life never seeing them in the playoffs – I was excited about the future.  Then 1986 comes along and everything was about to change.  Next up – “FINDING JESUS”.

Well as you can guess leaving home to go overseas for 18 months was very difficult, even though I knew I would be coming back in November,  6 months still seemed like a long time. Remember back then there were no internet or cell phones so communicating with home was mainly done by letter writing. Of course, there was a lot of crying at the airport but we made it through the best we could. My flight was not direct, the first stop was California for a long layover where I was able to call June to see how she was doing.  Those times in the airports were long and boring. We always had to be in full uniform so we were often targets of religious groups especially Hare Krishna. They would surround me at times and bug the heck out of me, some were very pushy and not very pleasant so I had to keep moving through the airport.  I’ll never forget getting on the plane that would take me over to Okinawa, it was huge with 3 rows of seats (3 seats on each side and 5 in the middle). The plane seemed only half full (many empty seats), so after we took off the stewardess seeing me in my uniform asked if I wanted to move to the center row that was completely empty, so I had 5 seats to myself for the entire trip to mainland Japan. I put the armrest up and was able to lay down for most of the flight.  We had stopovers in Hawaii and Guam before we reached Japan. I landed in Hawaii in the middle of the night, it was raining and we couldn’t leave the terminal, that was my only experience ever in Hawaii.   When I arrived at the airport in Naha Okinawa I was met by my sponsor who would help me find my luggage, and drive me to the airport.  Just like in Pensacola, the airline lost my luggage and it took almost a week to get there.  I again had to buy some clothes from the base commissary to get by.  The ride to the base was sort of a culture shock.  The roads were narrow and busy and all the signs were in Japanese.  It was weird to see almost everything in Japanese and not English.  Plus just seeing all the Japanese people (they were really Okinawans) and very few Americans on the ride I knew the next 18 months was going to be different from anything I had ever experienced.

LIFE ON OKINAWA

Okinawa is a very small island, and very populated, at least in the southern section where most of the military bases were located.  All four major branches of the American military were represented on the island.  The Air force had the biggest base called Kadena Air Base.  We would spend a lot of time on that base in the next 18 months as it had everything, cloths department stores, food stores, dancing club and of course a lot of military airplanes.  One jet that flew out of Kadena was the SR-71 Blackbird, known in that part of the world as the “Habu”. It was an impressive looking jet of black sinister appearance, great stealth, and lightning-fast.  It got its name after the deadly Habu-cobra snake that populated the island of Okinawa.   There were also a lot of Marine bases all throughout the island, though most were in the northern section.  Okinawa was the main island used during the Vietnam war for training troops in jungle warfare since the northern part of the island was similar terrain to Vietnam.   They would often say that when the Recon Marines came down from a month of training in those jungles, that you should try to stay away from the town of Kadena and other small towns where all the bars were located.  They would often come down and create havoc and they liked to drink and fight.  A friend of mine one night didn’t listen and ended up getting beat up by a bunch of Marines.  There was also a Navy base on the eastern coast of the island where the Pacific Fleet would dock.  I actually was not stationed on a Navy base, but an Army base called Torii Station located on the western coast of the island right on the China Sea.  The base had a nice view of the China Sea though at the time the beaches on the base were small and rocky.  I checked into the base and was assigned a room with 2 other guys, one whose name was Mike Hooker.  Mike was a tough kid from Texas.  He told me he joined the Navy to keep from going to jail as he got into a lot of trouble back home.  Since sitting in your dorm room as a new guy was depressing and I needed friends, I started hanging out with Mike and a few other guys.   When I first go there they assigned me to a work party before placing me in a Division where I perform my duties as a CT.  I remember some guy walked past us and had a sort of blank stare, didn’t even acknowledge us.  Someone there said he had been stationed on the USS Pueblo during its 11-month capture by the North Koreans and that he rarely talked to anyone.  On the work party was a guy who claimed to be a Christian and invited me to his house for dinner with him and his wife.  Being new and lonely I went.  I hung out with him for a little while but stopped (more on that story in the chapter “Finding Jesus”).   A few weeks later my friend John Convery who was with me in Bootcamp and school in Pensacola arrived.  Me, John and Mike Hooker started to hang out a lot together.  Torrii was a small base but had an outdoor swimming pool, a movie theater, EM Club (place for drinking and dancing), a gym and a baseball field.  At first most of our time off was hanging out on base since none of us had a car.  One night a bunch of us were hanging out on base and had been drinking.  We walked past this car that belonged to a guy that Mike for some reason didn’t like.  Mike jumps up on his car and puts his foot right through the guy’s windshield.  In a panic, we all run because it surprised us all.  Someone found out who did it and who was with Mike.  We were all called in Captains Mast which is a military court made to punish guys who got in trouble.  We all told our stories that we had no part of it.  Mike vouched for us and we were all let go without punishment.  As for Mike, he was demoted a rank and had to pay a big fine, though he didn’t seem to care.  A few months later I bought a car and moved into an apartment complex right across from the base.  To help me pay rent, Mike and John moved in with me and would live with me until I left to go home to marry June.  I had my own room and they would sleep in the living room on Japanese futons.  For the few months they lived with me we never cooked a meal since we always ate on base for free.  We only kept junk food and beer in the apartment.  Both Mike and John ended up buying motorcycles and parking them at night in our small apartment.  In the beginning, we did a lot together.  We would often drive around the island to different beaches to swim and hang out and go to visit some historical sights.  Most of the sights were associated with the war (WWII).  As I mentioned Okinawa was one of the bloodiest wars in the Pacific.  There were a lot of sights commemorating certain events that happened, especially stories of suicide jumps from civilians and soldiers trying to escape the Americans.  As I mentioned, to end the battle of Okinawa, the Navy bombarded the island (June’s Dad’s ship was part of the bombardment) and practically leveled the island.  Even when I was there in 1976, 30 years after the war, they were still finding bombs that had not been detonated around the island.  They would announce on the radio the location and inform people to stay clear of the area.  I also got into snorkeling while over there.  The water was beautiful and full of very colorful fish.  One was called the Tigerfish which they say could be deadly if you came in contact with it.  On one snorkel outing, we spotted a few swimming among the fish.  We quickly surfaced and got out of there.  At another snorkel outing, we were with a guy named Mike Brown who also hung out with us.  Mike had a speargun with him and ended up spearing this long silver barracuda.  They had very sharp teeth and were known to attack people in defense.  Mike speared it and held it up and yelled that it was coming at us.  Another time a bunch of sea turtles were swimming close to us as we were out snorkeling, they were harmless.

Of course, another popular activity was going out to the bars drinking.  As I look back we spent far to much time doing that but at the time it was the thing young Sailors would do.  The bars were often small and dirty. I learned to do card tricks that seemed to entertain the Okinawans we would meet.  A popular activity was the Habu-mongoose fights.  This was a fight to the death between the deadly Habu cobra snake and a Mongoose which was a long weasel that was fast and also had a deadly bite.  These were supposedly illegal but we would occasionally stumble upon them in the towns where you could place a bet on which creature would win.   The Habu won most of the time, but the mongoose would occasionally win.  If you bet on the mongoose you could win big money, I never bet but they were interesting to watch.  Every so often we would go onto Kadena Airbase to their dance club, it was huge, when June got there we would often go there to dance.  One time before June got to Japan, the club hosted the American Rock band “Grassroots” they were popular in the 60s and 70s.  A friend of mine who had his own band was the cover band that night and opened for them.  At intermission, he invited me to go backstage to meet the band.  I sat and had a beer with a couple of them before they went back on stage.

THE END OF FRIENDSHIPS

As I said Mike Hooker and John Convery were the guys I did the most with, since they were living with me.  That started to change as one night Mike who had a short temper ended up pulling a knife on us, I can’t remember why.  I remember asking him to leave and move back onto the base.  He apologized but since I was going home to bet married soon I thought it was the best for him to leave.  After that our friendship pretty much ended.  John Convery also started to change.  He rode his motorcycle a lot and ended up hanging out with a group of young Okinawan men who also rode.  He would often bring them back to our apartment which I wasn’t very happy with.  Mike was changing and seemed to like hanging out with them more than us Americans.  He even started to date an Okinawan woman who worked on the base.  She was much older than him and to tell you the truth not very pretty.  Well, one night he was out drinking and riding his motorcycle with no helmet which was how most young men rode motorcycles on the island.  Apparently from what I was told, he was coming around Kadena Circle going to fast and hit a curb, he had been drinking.  He lost control of the bike and ended up crashing through a store window.  He got seriously hurt and ended up in the hospital with his head split open.  Since he had no family there and I was his roommate the base contacted me to tell me what happened.  I asked if I could go see him and was given permission.  John was laying in his hospital bed awake but very groggy and still hurting from the accident.  His head was all bandaged up and had cuts all over his body, he was a mess.  He told me they were shipping him to a hospital in Hawaii and he didn’t know if he would ever be back and I needed to bring all his belongings to the base.  Before he went though he asked if I could bring his girlfriend to the hospital so he could say goodbye.  I really didn’t want to because to tell the truth, I was embarrassed to be seen with her,  but for John, I said yes.  I arranged to meet her on the base after work one day.  She also wanted to bring a friend of hers.  I told them both to sit in the back seat of my car and lay on the floor.  I then placed a blanket on them so no one would see them in my car (I told them I would get in trouble taking them off base, but was lying).  I took them both to the hospital so they could say goodbye to John.  After the visit, I dropped them off in town close to where they lived.  John ended up being away for 6 months but came back.  June and I were married at the time.  He knocked on our door and we talked for a bit, I introduced June to him.  He was never the same after the accident.  The impact on his head seemed to have changed his personality, to tell you the truth he had become sort of strange.  We really didn’t hang out with each other after that.  Two years later in late 1979 while I was in Scotland, John Convery shows up.  I was getting close to leaving Scotland and was told by my friends Al Nagle and Hink (more about them in the next chapter) that some guy named John Convery just checked into the base and was looking for me.   I remember coming to the base to say hi, he was very friendly and glad to see me.  He told me that after Okinawa he was sent to Misawa Japan for duty, got married to a local Japanese girl but it didn’t last.  He still seemed different and I really don’t remember seeing much of him after that,  as I was getting close to leaving Scotland.   A couple of years later after I got out of the service and saw Al and Hink, they told me that John got picked on a lot while in Scotland, people just found him a bit strange.  Just a few years ago I found a web site made for people who served as CT’s.  You could log in your name and history of where you were stationed, which I did.  I decided to look up John’s name to see what happened to him.   I found his name with the service dates 1975-1995, apparently, he had made the Navy a career. To my surprise, at the end of his service entry were the words – ” R.I.P” followed by the date February 1, 1999.   I was shocked to see my old friend had died.  I don’t know what happened to him as  I tried to find an obituary online but never did.  I often wonder if his death had something to do with that accident on Okinawa, as he was never the same after that.   I think of John every so often.  Through Bootcamp, Pensacola, and part of Okinawa he was my closest friend.   Even now I think of him whenever I hear a song from the band “America”.  America was his favorite group, and he played their songs a lot when he roomed with me in Okinawa.   R.I.P shipmate, I hope you found some peace the remaining years of your life.

OUR WEDDING AND RETURN TRIP TO OKINAWA

Well, it was finally time to go home, get married and bring June back with me.  After being away 6 months and not seeing her I couldn’t wait.  Our only communications for the past 6 months were letters.  I was able to call her once and talk briefly.  The only accessible phones were on base and you had to make an appointment and couldn’t talk very long because of the cost.  June was a great letter writer and even started getting creative and making cassette tape recordings of her voice, which I loved.   While I was away, June was busy taking care of all the wedding arrangements with the help of my Mom and hers.  She often told me through letters and later on that her Dad had a hard time with the whole thing.  When I look back I don’t blame him. As a father, I guess I would react the same.  His baby girl was leaving home for the first time.   To do that she was giving up her job and education, or putting them on hold which didn’t sit well with him.  He tried to talk her out of it but we were determined to go through with our plans.  I had secured the apartment, furnished it, and had it all ready for her to come to Okinawa. I had only one week of leave to fly home, get married, and come back.

Coming home after being away 6 months was great.  Of course the airport reunion with my Mom, Steve and June was a happy emotional moment.  It was a busy week as the wedding was just a few days away.  I went to get my tuxedo.  I had gone to get measured and fitted before I left for Okinawa, thank God back then I never gained any weight, I was as skinny as when I left 6 months earlier.  The whole week was a blur and many details have slipped my mind.  I do remember the night before the wedding a bunch of people who came in for the wedding were at my parent’s house on Atno Ave.  I was standing in the kitchen next to a couple from Connecticut – John Cabral and Debbie Hadaway.  I hadn’t seen them in years.  John all of a sudden says “So where is the groom?”. I looked at him and said, “John it’s me David, I’m the groom”.  He told me he was expecting someone much older looking and started to laugh.  I was one week away from my 19th birthday and if you look at my wedding pictures I looked 15 years old.  Our wedding was great, not only were all our family there but many High School friends with some as part of our wedding party.   Also, some old friends from Connecticut, the Hadaway’s, and the Johns came to the wedding.   June and I stayed a couple of nights at the Governor Morris Inn in Morris Township, then stayed the last night at her parents before leaving.  I’ll never forget how quiet her house was the morning we left.  Her father could barely say anything as he was very emotional.  He said goodbye to us and left for work (he was a school teacher at Dover HS).  He couldn’t go with us to the airport because it was too hard for him to say goodbye to June.  So Steve, my Mom, and June’s mom took us to Kennedy Airport, where it was an emotional goodbye.  We took a flight to Japan (mainland) with a layover in Alaska.   I remember the plane hit a lot of turbulence on the way to Japan and I got really sick on the plane.  When it landed the crew had to wait for me to get out of the bathroom before they could depart as I was throwing up.  It was an embarrassing way to begin our marriage.   The plane to Okinawa was leaving the next day, so we stayed in a nice hotel in Tokyo.  That evening we ate in a restaurant ( I guess I was feeling better) that had a 360-degree view of the entire city.  The next day we flew to Okinawa, where we would spend our first year of marriage.  So, in reality, June and I never really had an official honeymoon. Though, to this day we can say we had a one-day honeymoon in Tokyo Japan.

NEWLYWEDS IN OKINAWA  

I barely remember our time at the airport when we landed on Okinawa, but I do remember part of the ride home to our apartment.  As I said, Okinawa was small,  and very densely populated in the southern section where I was stationed.  Though the island had a lot of beautiful, beaches and other nice parts around the island, the small towns were not only crowed but a bit dirty. Most people were poor and lived either on small farms in rickety homes or in crowded towns similar to our urban areas in the US, but on a smaller scale.  In most places they had very poor to an almost non-existent sewer system,  What they did have were these open sewers that ran next to the sidewalks called “Benji ditches”.  They had a very unpleasant smell in the warmer months.   As June and I were heading to our apartment from the airport we were going through one town that had these “Benji Ditches”.  We stopped at a light and already June is looking around probably thinking “I thought Okinawa was a tropical paradise, where the hell am I?”.  Just then a man walking on the sidewalk stops and takes a pee in the ditch right in front of June on her side of the car.  This was a normal sight, as you would also see women squatting and relieving themselves in these ditches.  I thought June was going to say “I’m catching the next flight out of here, see you in a year” but of course she didn’t.   I was excited for June to get to our apartment.  The apartment complex was very small, made of concrete with windows that had bars on them, they were to protect the window during the typhoons – more on them later.   So they were not appealing looking from the outside.  The inside was not much better as we had a kitchen, one bedroom and a small living room, and a bathroom.  The entire apartment was probably only about 400 sq. ft. in size at best.  We lived on the bottom floor.  The best thing was it was across the street from the base and close to my work site which was up the hill.  I didn’t work on the base but at a small Communications Facility up the hill about one mile from our apartment (see the picture of the round antenna).  The complex also had a great view of the ocean from the roof.  The roof of the building was flat surrounded by a 3-4 ft concrete wall.  It was made for people to go and sit and look at the view.  We would often have parties on the roof and look at the ocean and the outdoor bullfights which were right next to our apartments.  The bullfights were great entertainment for the locals and for us.  They would bring two huge bulls inside a large ring, place them nose to nose and then entice them to try to push each other out of the ring.  People would be cheering for the bull they wanted to win, usually because they bet on them.  It was great entertainment for those of us who lived in the apartments.

Our complex had many young couples around our age and we ended up becoming good friends with some of them.  They were from different branches of the service, not just Navy but Army, Air Force, and Marines.  One couple that was our age that we became very close to and still stay in contact with to this day were Pete and Gay LaRoche. They were from New Hampshire, Pete was in the Army.  They lived right next to us.  There were many nights when we would all sit outside, about 4-5 couples and drink and listen to music.    One couple who also hung with us were Mormons.  They didn’t drink and never tried to push their beliefs on us.  The only strange thing they did was they stored up lots of cans of food in their apartment on these shelves.  They believed that one day the world was going to face a large famine and were going to be ready for it when the famine came.  I told them if it came while we were still living there I knew where to go to get food.   One night when we were all sitting outside, an Okinawan guy went up to the roof and stood on the edge.  He was screaming and sounded very distraught, he was drunk.  He took his sandals off and threw them down to the ground, which was a sign he was about to jump.   All of a sudden these to big Marines reach over and grab him and pull him to safety.  We heard they then beat the crap out of him after they brought him down from the roof.  He was probably better off jumping.  I don’t know why the guy was up there but it never happened again.

June settled into her new life.  It must have been difficult for her, being away from home for the first time, no job, she would just sit around the apartment and wait for me to get off of work.  I worked shift work –  2 days (7am-3pm), 2 mids (11:00pm – 7am), 2 evenings 3pm – 11:00pm (one day was a double shift) so we did 6 work shifts in 5 days then we had 3 days off.   The days I had mids (11:00pm – 7:00am) June would try to stay up as long as she could (sometimes all night) so she was on my schedule and sleep when I slept which was all day after a mid-shift.   I couldn’t call her from work so it must have been long nights for her trying to stay awake but I appreciated it as being newlyweds you wanted to spend all your time together.  One night when I was on a mid-shift, I called into the local radio station, which was run by the military, to have them play our wedding song by Stevie Wonder “For Once in My Life”.  I thought it would lift her up on a long night.  She never heard it as she said she dozed off to sleep, but appreciated my efforts.

All my days off I made sure I spent every minute with June, she sacrificed a lot coming to Okinawa, and of course being newlyweds we loved spending time together, just like the summer of 75′.    We would go to various beaches which were the biggest attraction of Okinawa.  The beaches were white sand and the ocean a beautiful blue color, like most tropical islands around the world. As long as you stayed out of the dirty towns, Okinawa was like a tropical paradise.  A few times we would take off for a couple of days and head to the northern section of the island and stay at these mini resorts built on the beach.   We did a lot of sightseeing of Japanese shrines and WWII monuments.  We both loved to go to Kadena Airbase for the day.  We would often go to the base like many others and sit to watch the military jets take off and land.  Especially the Habu stealth jet as it was a magnificent sight to watch.  Kadena was a very popular base because of everything it had to offer the military people.  When you were on the base it felt like you were home in the states and not on Okinawa.  To this day I can still remember it was while June and I were riding on that base that we heard over the radio the news that Elvis Presley had died.  Funny how the one place that felt like home was the place we heard that news.

One of the great things about being overseas was experiencing the different cultures you would not get to, living in the US.  The Okinawan culture was unique with many festivals and traditions foreign to us.  One such festival was called “Obon”.  Obon is a 3 day holiday set aside during the summer to honor deceased ancestors.  Many Okinawans believe that after people die, they continue to exist in the spiritual world where they sometimes continue to exert powerful influences over the living.  The festival was marked by dancing on the streets with drums and other instruments.  June and I along with other couples from our apartment attended a festival that summer and had a great time.  It was these types of activities that made our time away from home enjoyable and have created wonderful memories.   Another memory from Okinawa was a puppy we decided to purchase we called “Rusty”.  He was a mixed breed rescue dog that someone talked us into buying.  He was cute as most puppies were and we quickly fell in love with him.  I remember one time right after we got him, June and I were in the house and for some stupid reason, I decided we should both learn how to use the fire extinguisher in our apartment.  I was reading the directions of what to do and pulled the ring from the extinguisher.  Well, it went off and started spraying all over our apartment until it emptied.  We had this blue film over everything.  June and I started to clean and move things out of our apartment, we looked down and there was Rusty doing the same with his toys.  Carrying them one by one out of the apartment.  We started to laugh and it helped a very stressful situation.  We soon found out though that bringing a dog home was not only costly but they also had to be first shipped to Hawaii for a time of quarantine before they could be sent stateside.  June and I decided that it was too much of an expense to take him with us when we leave so we arranged to give him to some guy and his wife who lived in base housing.  We cried when he came to pick him up.  A few months later he and his wife invited us over to see Rusty.  He had grown but still seemed to remember us.  We left there a bit sad for two reasons;  seeing Rusty made us miss him again and the new owner had Rusty tied out in the backyard in the dirt.  The owner was a big guy and would yell at him if he barked.  We hoped he was treating him well but both had a feeling for some reason he wasn’t.  We never visited him again it was too hard.

TYPHOONS, TSUNAMIS AND TROPICAL CREATURES

Like any place in the world, nothing is perfect.  Along with the dirty towns we lived near, the climate, especially during the summer months, was hot and humid.  Our apartment had no air-conditioning so you felt it all the time.   June loved the humid weather and often took advantage and would often sit outside our apartment in the sun, getting tan, and losing weight.  She also totally transformed her look by dying her hair blonde.   If I must say, between her tan, and newly blonde hair, she was hot looking.  Of course, there were other living creatures that loved the hot, humid weather such as tropical insects and small lizards called Geckos (like our friend in the Geico commercial but not as cuddly-looking).  These creatures thrived in this type of weather and often right inside our apartment.  We would often be visited by these little gecko lizards who would run around our apartment, sometimes across the headboard of our bed in the middle of the night.  The insects all seemed larger than normal especially the spiders that would invade our apartment, some with lots of colors which signaled they were dangerous.  Killing them was an adventure, they seemed to thrive on the poison we would spray on them.  Once when I went outside to the enclosed dumpster behind our apartment, which was right outside our door, a larger flying insect was sitting on the hatch, I guess sunbathing.  I didn’t want to get close to it so I threw a rock to scare the creature and it let out this horrific screech and flew away.  To this day I still don’t know what it was but I was always careful from that point on when going out our back door.  The Pacific was also known for its share of Typhoons.  They are like hurricanes but on an island as small as Okinawa they were horrific.  One time before June got there I was at work when a typhoon hit the island and we were in a Condition Red which meant you couldn’t go outside.  So I was stuck at work for a couple of days.  When the food ran out we had to eat K-Rations which are small emergency meals packaged to stay edible for many years.  Some were telling us they were leftover from WWII.  I’m not how true it was but they sure tasted like it.   When a typhoon would hit the island, we would have “typhoon parties” with other couples at our apartments.  The men would go up on the roof and drink and see how long we could stand outside.  Tsunamis were not as prevalent, but the year June and I were on the island we had a Tsunami warning.  An earthquake in the Solomon Islands had apparently created and Pacific-wide Tsunami.  We had received warning that it may be headed for Okinawa and if so they would be evacuating as many U.S military people as they could.  Those they couldn’t evacuate would receive instructions on how to get to higher ground.  It was a scary time since Okinawa was very small (looks like a pinhead on a map) and even the highest ground may not be high enough.  Fortunately, the all-clear was given as the Tsunami never made it as far as Okinawa.

CT’S – “WE BUGGED THE WORLD”

As I mentioned I worked at a small Communication Site just about a mile from our apartment.  The site was fully secured and was guarded by Marines due to it’s TOP Secret Secret nature.  Our main mission was keeping track of Russian Navy ships around the world.  I can say all this now but couldn’t back then, so June never knew what I did, only that it was all Top Secret.  I loved the job and always felt I was doing my part in keeping the world safe.  As I look back it was one of the most exciting jobs I ever had. Learning new skills, using the different electronic surveillance equipment,  working with Top Secret information material and just working together in a common mission to keep the world safe, excited me.  I was told that is was on a submarine in the Atlantic when a group of CT’s intercepted transmission of the Soviets back in 1962, they would become world news.  They discovered a secret mission that Russia was moving Nuclear Missles to Cuba for a possible attack on the US.  This event is known in our history books as the “Cuban Missile Crisis”.  The communications that the CT’s intercepted eventually made its way to the desk of President Kennedy.  He decided to deploy US Naval ships to the area as a blockade, which helped stop a possible war between the US and Russia.  A supervisor on a shift I worked with in Scotland said he was on duty that night and all hell broke loose.   The events are told in the book “Red November” which I ended up reading years later.  Though our main mission was Russia, we also kept an eye on the Chinese, especially since Okinawa was close in proximity to China.  I was switched for the Russian mission to the Chinese mission which I really enjoyed as I got to learn new equipment and used my morse code skills a bit more.  Everything we did had a direct connection with NSA (National Security Agency) and the CIA back home in Washington.  All information we intercepted was sent back to both groups for their analysis.  We often had people from NSA come out to visit our sites and work with us.  As I said, it was exciting work and I loved it.   Along with the Marines guarding our facility, we were also trained to defend the site with them in the event we came under attack.  I was placed on what was called the “Emergency Reaction Team”.   We went on a one-day training exercise with a group of Marines up in the mountains to learn how to use an M-16 and a M-240 machine gun.  An attack never happened to the site but one time there were rumors going around that a group of Okinawans were planning an attack on our site.  Something was going on between the Okinawan government and our government about land leasing on the island.  The US Military leased all the land the bases were on from the Okinawan government, and the lease was apparently due to expire. They were in negotiations of a new lease but in the meantime, word got around that some radical groups that were against the US Military’s presence on the island were planning multiple attacks on certain sites, our site was on their list.  So the “Emergency Reaction Team” for each shift had the “stand ready” command just in case it happened.  We had to stay down in the bunker with our weapons during our shifts.  Well, nothing happened as we found out the new lease was successfully signed and all calmed down.

SHORT TIMER

In the military when your tour of duty was winding down and you were 100 days from leaving you were called a “short-timer”.  I think it was a term used during the Vietnam War.  Well, my time was winding down I was now a “short-timer”.  I, like everyone else, would keep a map of the island made up of squares.  You would color in the squares which represented “a day”. as each day passed until the entire map was red which meant you were going home.  Along with the excitement that you would soon be going home, was also the excitement of your next tour of duty.    When I was due to leave Okinawa I would have just under 2 years left of my 4-year enlistment obligation.  So, both June and I were excited about where we would go next after Okinawa.   Of course, June was hoping that they would send us back stateside for my last 18 months.  I knew that going stateside was a longshot.  I was being told by my supervisors and others who had been in the Navy for a while that most likely they would keep us somewhere in the Pacific.  Rarely do they move people across the world, especially during there first 4 years in the service.  You would have to reenlist to get the duty of your choice.  So I was preparing June for that news that we would probably be coming back to the Pacific, maybe Guam or Hawaii, but mostly likely Misawa Japan.  There were a bunch of guys who left right before me who were sent there so I was being told to expect the same.  I’ll never forget the night my orders came in.  I had just arrived for my evening shift (3:00 pm) and was told by my supervisor that my orders came in.  They handed me a large manila envelope all sealed, so not even my supervisors knew.  I sat down, nervous, getting ready to see Misawa Japan on the top page.  I looked and to my surprise, my orders read “EDZELL SCOTLAND”.  I yelled, “I’m going to Scotland”.  My supervisor and others who were standing there were stunned but happy for me.  I was so excited I asked if I could quickly go home to tell my wife as I couldn’t call her since we had no phones.  Since I lived so close they let me.  I jumped in the car and pulled into our apartment complex parking lot.  There was June sitting outside by herself doing crossword puzzles, as was her normal routine.  She asked why I was home and I told her I got my orders.  Of course, she was anxious to hear where we would be going and hoped it would be the states.  I told her we are going to “Scotland!!!”.  I remember that she tried to look excited but I could tell she was a bit disappointed but glad we were not coming back to the Pacific.  The only stipulation for me going to Scotland was I had to agree to extend my service time by 3 months since Scotland was a minimal 2-year duty tour.  I happily agreed to the extension in order to go to Scotland. So instead of getting out in October 1979 I would get out in January 1980, it was well worth the 3-month extension.

TIME TO GO HOME

As the day drew closer for us to leave Okinawa, June and I had to figure out the timing of when she would leave.  We had to sell our car and all our furniture.  A few weeks before we left all of our friends took us out for a going-away dinner, it was a great night  We sold everything except for our bed.  Our good friends Pete and Gay said they would do that for us after we left.  They invited us to move into their apartment and stay for the last week.  We were very grateful and we moved our bed into their apartment in their living room.  June left a few days before me.  She first flew to Tokyo Japan then took a non-stop flight to Chicago and then a connecting flight to Newark.  All this by herself, hard to believe but June was much more daring back in her younger days.  I left Okinawa a few days later, with many good memories, good friends left behind, most we have never heard from again.  My flight was not so direct as it was a military hop.  We first landed in Tokyo Japan then onto Anchorage Alaska, each time we had to get off the plane for a layover.  I remember when I got off the plane in Alaska, the customs officer saw my uniform and asked me where I was coming from.  I told him I had just spent a year of duty in Japan.  He said, “Welcome home, sailor”.  It was a great feeling.  I went outside, it was dark and snowing and I reached down and touched the ground, happy to be on U.S. soil again.  After Alaska was Travis Air force base, then Edwards Air Force base both in California.  Then came a 2-hour taxi ride to LA airport.  After stops in Denver and Washington, then finally after traveling through 11 times zones, 30+ hours after leaving Okinawa,  I arrived in Newark Airport, greeted by June and my family.   With the vacation days I had accumulated, plus built-in extra days the Navy allowed for travel, I had 45 days of leave before I had to head to my next duty station.  June and I got to enjoy both Thanksgiving and Christmas with our families.  It was a great time and was so good to be home for that length of time before heading to our next adventure – one of the most memorable places I had even been in the world,  EDZELL SCOTLAND.

On October 13, 1975 my new Navy adventure began with a short train ride to Newark with two friends from High School, Dave Akromas and Scott McGill.    Little did I know what the future held but I had a mixture of emotions: excitement and trepidation wondering what lies ahead along with happiness and sadness.  Happiness to start a new life and sadness of leaving home especially the girl I had just spent the last 6 months with, June.  The three of us arrived in Newark and grabbed a quick breakfast together.  Then Dave and I said goodbye to Scott ( it was the last time I would ever saw Scott) as we headed for the Federal Building in Newark where we would raise our hands with a group of men and women and swear the Oath of Enlistment. We all then formed 2 columns and marched down to the Newark train station located a few blocks away.  We took the Amtrak train down to Orlando, Dave and I roomed together.  I pretty much spent most of my time in our cabin as I was not in the mood for socializing. Dave, on the other hand, was out partying with everyone else from our group heading for Bootcamp.  Remember that letter I mentioned June had handed me, well it was more like a book.  I can’t remember how many pages but it was thick and long.  As I sat reading the letter alone in my cabin the tears flowed as I read the words from June’s heart.  Reminiscing about all the things we did together that summer, and writing about the hopes and dreams about our future together.  We both were determined to make our relationship last and spend the rest of our lives together.   I did make it out to the dinner train for a while but mostly spent time in the cabin reading and sleeping.  I remember when the train arrived in Florida the next morning, looking out at the Palm trees which I had never seen before and sunshine the excitement started to build.  We arrived in Orlando, I remember how warm and sunny it was as I got off the train.  We soon boarded a bus that would take us to the RTC – Orlando Naval Training Center where we would spend the next 9 weeks of our lives totally cut off from the world as they transformed us from civilians to Navy Sailors.

RTC NAVAL TRAINING CENTER – ORLANDO FLORIDA – BOOTCAMP

Navy Bootcamp was like nothing I had ever experienced.  The first thing they did was place us in companies of about 70 guys from all different parts of the country.  Since a good portion of the guys were from the south many had southern drawls that I had never heard before.  One thing that stands out about that first day was getting haircuts.  Since it was the 70’s many guys had long hair, some guys even had beards (not me, at 17 I still had peach fuzz on my face).  Everyone went into the Navy barbershop with different styles and lengths of hair but everyone came out clean-shaven and with buzz cuts.  I remember one guy who had a big red afro sitting there crying about his hair being gone.  I thought to myself, what was he expecting?  I looked at Dave and we both had to hold in our laugh.  We then got our Navy issue uniforms which was everything we would need for every aspect of Navy life, underwear, socks, shoes, pants, shirts, coats and more.  We had to stencil our social security number on everything we owned.  We were then placed in our barracks and assigned a bunk.  I remember the first guy who bunked above me was from the deep south and could hardly read or write.  A few weeks into Bootcamp he showed me a letter he wrote to his dad.  The writing looked like a small child in large letters and he wrote “Hey Old Man, I’m here in Bootcamp and it sucks” (he had another word in there I won’t repeat).  That was the extent of his letter.  He was a screw-up and didn’t last long and was demoted to a company that was formed for washouts.  We saw him marching with the company a few days after that, he waved to us and said: “Hey guys I’m getting out of the Navy”, we envied him as most guys were wishing the same thing at that point.   Most guys were pretty normal but in a group of 70 guys, you always had your borderline psycho’s.  One was a small guy from Georgia who also was dumb as a tack, who had already washed out of the Marines.   One night our Company Commander (CC) made us all do jumping jacks for punishment. One every 5th jumping jack you had to count by 1 (5=1, 1o=2, and so on).  Well for some reason this guy could not get it and kept screwing up.  The CC kept getting in his face yelling at him.  The guy finally cracked and jumped onto the CC in a fit of rage.  He had to be dragged out of the barracks.  We never saw him again, I have a feeling he washed out of the Navy also.  Another guy warned us that if he was woken suddenly he had a habit of jumping out of bed and attacking the person.  I don’t know if he was telling the truth but he seemed crazy.  When he had to be woken someone would throw a washcloth on his face from a distance.  I don’t remember him ever attacking anyone.  The main idea of Bootcamp was changing you from a civilian to a military person.  To do that it was mostly mental, so they played a lot of mind games with you.  Everything was about following small details, like how you folded your clothes, made your beds, things that were tedious.  Since new clothes were easy to fold, they made you rotate your uniforms (underwear and t-shirts included).  They would have these routine cloths inspections every so often.  If they discovered you weren’t rotating your cloths (new cloths are easy to spot), as punishment they would have you place your clothes in a bucket of soapy water and walk around the room saying ” I am a Magtag washing machine”.  You also had to pull all the tags out of your clothes, if you missed one, they would rip it out and place it on the floor then make you blow the tag around the room saying “out of my life little tag”.  During these inspections, you had to stand at attention the whole time with a straight face.  Almost everyone at some point would fail these inspections. So picture a room full of guys all walking around doing those things at once, it was hard to keep a straight face.  I remember once when we went out to chow (dinner) they did a complete barracks inspection.  We all worked hard trying to get everything perfect, we were sure we would pass with flying colors.  To our surprise, when we came back our entire barracks was turned upside down, clothes were thrown all over the place, even pillows, sheets and beds all over.  You had to find all your own clothes and bed linen and put everything back together again, it took hours.  Of course, we were told later they did it all on purpose to create a teamwork atmosphere.  They broke us up into squads with a squad leader.  Showers and toilet breaks were done in squads.  I remember the toilet stalls all had open fronts (no doors).  Even though they had about 5 or 6 toilets they would often only allow 2 to be used.  Imagine trying to take a poop with a line of guys looking at you yelling at you to hurry up.  It wasn’t easy.  Besides mind games, Bootcamp had its’ physical elements, marching,  obstacle courses, and lots of pushups.  Being in the Navy you had to not only know how to swim but learn to float for long periods of time.  Of course, this would be necessary if you were ever on a ship that was sinking and needed to float in the ocean for a long period of time. They taught you how to use different pieces of clothes as floating devices.  I remember sitting with my company waiting for our turn and seeing across the pool a group of guys who had flunked the swim test.  They were nicked named the “rock company” and was made of 99% black guys who didn’t know how to swim.  In order to graduate Navy Bootcamp you had to be able to swim (makes sense – Navy=Water).  The instructors would practically torture these guys making them jump into the water then push them with a pole to the deep part of the pool and tell them to start kicking.  These guys (in the pool) would be screaming, some calling for their mothers, while the instructors would curse them out, showing no mercy.  I felt bad for those guys but also wondered why they would join the Navy if they couldn’t swim.  I passed the swim test with ease.  We also learned how to fight fires in close quarters,  this was needed if you were ever on a ship that caught fire.  We also had to endure the gas chambers.  They made each squad go into a small chamber with an instructor and would then lock the door behind us.  We all had gas masks on but as the chamber started filling with gas we were told to take them off.  We then had to repeat some Navy terminology together in unison as a group and were told if anyone cries out, panics, or tries to put on their mask, it will cause the entire group to have to stay in the chamber longer.  As the gas started to get into our eyes, nose, and throats we all started coughing and choking.  Our eyes began to water and snot came down our nose into our mouths.  You couldn’t wipe your face or it would make it worse.  One guy started to scream and cry “let us out, please I can’t take it” we all yelled at him to shut up – he was starting to freak out.  He kept screaming and we had to stay in there longer.  When they finally let us out I think every guy wanted to beat the crap out of him, but we couldn’t’.  During Bootcamp, we all had to get multiple inoculations since many were most likely going overseas.  We would stand in line and two doctors would be on each side of the line.  When we got to them they had this air gun they would zap us at the same time in both arms.  You had to stand perfectly still because if you moved it would create a cut in your arm and bleed. which happened to some guys.   The shots made some guys sick but they were not given any mercy as sick or not, you still had to participate in the training (luckily the shots didn’t affect me).  We often did marching drills with rifles out on the grinder (which was like a big concrete parking lot) often in the heat.  We would have to learn to stand at attention for long periods of time.  You were told to bend our knees a little to keep from passing out.  Well, some guys didn’t listen and down they would go face-first on the concrete.

NAVY BOOTCAMP AND MISSING HOME

The hardest thing about Bootcamp was missing home.  For many of us, it was the first time ever being away from home and every guy experienced some sort of homesickness.  I would spend my 18th birthday and Thanksgiving while in Bootcamp which was hard.   For the first two weeks, they completely cut us off from any news from the rest of the world, especially letters from home.  I remember wondering if I was missed? What was June doing? Was she missing me?  How is my Mom doing? It was 1975 the World Series had just begun and my Red Sox were in it against the Cinncinati Reds.  When I left for Bootcamp the series was tied 1-1 and game 3 was the next day.  What happened? Did the Sox win the series? Since we were isolated from all current events I could only guess.   Not knowing what was going on in the outside world was hard and increased our homesickness.  I was lucky that I had Dave Akromas there going through it with me, but it still was hard.  Somehow Dave and I found out that another friend of ours from High School, Paul Kelly had joined the Navy and was also in Bootcamp in Orlando.  We were able to meet up with him at chow time and sit for 15 minutes and talk about home.  It was the last time I ever saw Paul alive as years later he was killed in a training accident at Navy Seal training school.  Apparently he was doing a skydive routine with another guy and they collided in mid-air and both fell to their death.  A bunch of us went to his funeral, Dave went with me.  We found out Paul had just gotten married and left behind a pregnant wife.

In Bootcamp, each guy was assigned a duty he would perform the entire 9 weeks. I was lucky enough to get mail-duty. This allowed me to leave the barracks alone each evening to either bring out letters to the mailboxes or retrieve them from the post office.  Each evening I went out,  I often took my time and just enjoyed my 15 minutes of freedom alone apart from 70 other guys.  I would think about June and how much I missed her.  I remember I would look up at the moon and think maybe she was looking at the moon at the same time.  I felt a connection with her through those quiet moments, missing her more.   Since I  was the company mail-man I was the one who was able to retrieve the mail the first night we got the mail after 2 weeks and handed it out to everyone.  There were multiple boxes of mail (2 weeks – 70 guys – lots of mail).  As I started reading the names on the letters, I pulled out one with my name, then another, then another (the guys were starting to tease me), finally after it was all over I think I had almost 20 letters to read – 14 from June alone.  She had written to me every day and mailed the letter each day.  I was on cloud nine.  Every envelope smelled like perfume and in each, not only was there a long letter but in a few were clippings from the Daily Record newspaper with results from each World Series game.  I sat on my bunk the rest of the evening reading those letters and the newspaper clipping.  Letters were our lifeline to home and were a welcome break from all the other Navy stuff.   Letters would be special all throughout my time away while I was in the Navy.   Remember, back in the ’70s there was no internet or mobile phones.  Everywhere I went, for the next 4 years, Pensacola, Japan, and Scotland  I didn’t even have regular access to any phone, so letters from home were precious and vital.  June was a great letter writer whenever I was away and she was starting off with flying colors.  In Bootcamp, we were even allowed to get boxes of food from home, but the rule was if a guy got a box of food they had to share with the other guys.  Many guys including myself would get homemade cookies from home and we would all enjoy them together.  I also started smoking cigars while in Bootcamp.  We didn’t get much free time but when we did they would say “the smoking lamp is lit”.  At that, the guys who smoked were allowed to go into a smoking room, to smoke and chat.  Since it was a break from just sitting on your bed, I bought some cigars so I could join the guys and smoke.  I hated cigarettes.  I had made June quit smoking when we were dating, though when I was away she started up again. Once we got married she quit for good.  I quit smoking cigars after Bootcamp.

FAMILY DAY AND GRADUATION

Well, Bootcamp was coming to an end, graduation day was right around the corner but first family day.  For the first time in 8 1/2 weeks, guys would see their families who came down for graduation.  My Mom, Steve, June, Bernice, Carolyn, and Scott all came down for my graduation ceremony.  I remember how excited I was to see everyone.  The night before graduation we were able to meet our families at the family center.  We had to wait for our name to be called before we could leave the barracks.  The walk seemed like forever but walking through those doors and seeing everyone (especially June) was great. My mom said as I was walking toward the center she knew it was me even from a distance as I walked just like my father.  The next day was graduation where each company would march in front of a review stand to the Navy theme song “Anchors Aweigh”.  We were given a couple of day’s leave before processing out.  We had to return each night to the base, I remember guys throwing up all night from too much drinking while out during the day.  My family and I spent a couple of days going to Seaworld and Disney World which was a blast. The only thing left to do was get our orders and process out so we could be home for Christmas, which was only a week away.  I remember feeling sorry for some guys who had to stay through Christmas to continue some special training for future ship duty.  Me, I was headed home for 2 1/2 weeks, to spend time with my family, friends, and mostly June to celebrate Christmas.   Being home again was great as June and I continued where we left off.  I loved being in the Navy and wanted to wear my uniform when I could so when June’s company Suburban Propane had their Christmas Party I remember wearing it that night. It was during that time home I realized how much we were in love and couldn’t see my life without her.  I told my parents before I left for school I wanted to propose to June, I didn’t want to lose her.  A couple of guys during Bootcamp received “Dear John” letters from their girlfriends and I didn’t want to go through that.   They helped me pick out an engagement ring up at Catano’s Jewelers, it was small but what do you want I was an 18-year-old Navy Seaman, we didn’t make much money.   So on New Year’s Eve December 1975 at a party at our friend Sam’s house, I remember asking June to marry me and she said yes.  I had taken a night that I lost someone dear to me years earlier – my father – and made it a night I would gain someone who I would spend the rest of my life with, I wasn’t going to lose her.  We had no immediate plans of when the wedding would be as I had no idea where I would be after graduating school.  I could possibly spend time out at sea on a ship, the future was unknown but I at least knew June would be part of my future.  After spending 2+ weeks home it was time to leave again.  So on January 2, 1976, I  boarded a plane in Newark NJ and headed for my next duty Station – back to Florida for Cryptology School a place called Corry Station Naval Technical Training Center, Pensacola Florida.

NTTC CORRY STATION – PENSACOLA FLORIDA – CRYPTOLOGY SCHOOL

Naval Technical Training Center Corry Station, was a sub-installation of the nearby Naval Air Station where the world-known Blue Angels were stationed and flew out of.  The base hosted several of the Navy’s Information Warfare Corps training commands and is the headquarters for its  Center for Information Warfare Training.  This was a place where I would be learning my job rating as a CT  (Communications Technician –  changed a year later to Cryptologic Technician).  I would be learning how to operate various radio collection equipment used to eavesdrop on other countries’ military communications.  Since we were in the middle of the Cold War – our main focus would be Russia and China.  That was the reason my recruiter use the word “Spy” as that was basically what we were doing.  We were also given the nickname “Spooks” I guess because we would be operating on small bases situated around the world.  These were places no one knew anything about where we would be hidden from the world and out of sight from our enemy surveillance targets. I later had a jacket made up with a large decal on the back depicting an Eagle wearing headphones with the saying “In God we trust, all others… we “bugged” the world!!”   I left for school on January 2, 1976 back to Florida expecting warm sunny weather.  I was surprised when I got there how chilly it was.  Pensacola was located on what is called the pan-handle of Florida more north and close to Alabama, so it did get chilly in January.  I was assigned a room and had one roommate (don’t remember his name or where he was from).  The airline lost my luggage so I had to buy some navy cloths at the base commissary to last a few days before my luggage arrived.  At first, you were assigned to a work party until your security clearance arrived.  As a “CT”  you would be working with Top Secret material which needed a Top Secret Security clearance.  I was told the FBI would be doing a background check on everyone which would include interviewing people who knew me back home, like former employers, school officials, and neighbors.  Since I pretty much kept my nose clean most of my life and never got into any big trouble I wasn’t worried, my clearance came in about a week and I started school.

The first thing we learned to do was copy morse code as a “T” brancher (Technical) it would not be our primary job, but we still had to learn it.  I found this very easy and quickly blew threw this portion of my training, even winning an award “The Samuel B Morse” award for speed and accuracy in copying morse code.  Funny because the morse code was invented right in Morristown down the street from my house, I guess I was meant for code copying.  From there we would begin to learn how to use a variety of cryptology collection equipment used in radio communications intercept.  I would learn to use things like; Radio signal receivers and transmitters, teletypewriters, single-sideband converters, Audio Spectrum analyzers, and much more.  I was learning things I never knew anything about and was loving my new field as a CT, thinking to myself I would never be learning anything like this in college.  I went through school faster than anticipated and ended up graduating in just over 4 months.

Besides attending school we also had plenty of free time.  I was lucky enough to be going through school with a guy who was in my company at bootcamp, John Convery.  John became my closest friend and seemed to be stationed wherever I went.  I remember he was from Long Island so we had some things in common (more on John in the next two chapters – Okinawa and Scotland).  We would spend a lot of time at the EM Club (Enlisted men) which was the base dancing club and at the pool hall also on base.  Since neither of us had a car, we ended up making friends with some other guys a couple who had cars.  A bunch of us would often go into town to the club’s drinking and to the beach.  The beaches down there were like nothing I ever saw, beautiful white sandy beaches located on the Gulf of Mexico.   Pensacola was also known for its gay community who would often clash with Navy men.   In the 70’s being gay was pretty much hidden.  So I didn’t know anyone growing up who was, or at least I thought.   At that time the US Government even forbid people who were gay to join the military.   A bunch of us were on the beach one time and a few guys who were dressed in very tight small bikini-like suits sat near us.   We pretty much ignored them except one guy who was with us.  He seemed to like the attention they were giving us.  Looking back at pictures of that day I can now see why as this guy with us was dressed just like them.  I think he probably was gay but couldn’t expose that for fear of being kicked out of the service.  I remember another guy who hung out with us who also was from the NY area.  One day he gets a knock on the door that his girlfriend and another girl were there to visit him.  To his surprise they had hitchhiked all the way down to Florida from NY, he was both happy and ticked off.  While down in school,  I once was able to fly home for a long weekend for Junes birthday.  I remember we spent every minute with each other.  When I got back I was sick for a few days and missed some school time.  The base was run by the Air force which meant besides Navy personnel there were a lot of Air Force people.  Fights would occasionally break out between Navy and Air force guys, which was normal.  The good thing was the Chow Hall was run by the Air Force and they were known for their good food, which proved true.  We also had a softball league that I got involved with while there, I was starting to become a better athlete and often did well.  The Mardi Gras was happening in New Orleans at that time.  A bunch of guys were going but I decided not to go, for some reason.  I did go with some guys to Mobile Alabama one day just to see something different.  We ended up touring the USS Alabama that was in drydock at the time.  Turns out it would be the only ship I would ever be while in the Navy – go figure.

Well with school winding down and my anticipated graduation, I had to start thinking of the next step – duty stations, where would I end up.  Since I was in the Navy you would assume I would spend time on a ship.  That is why June and I even though we were engaged had not set a wedding date, because of the unknown.  We then started to hear about all our options where we could possibly end up.  I started to hear about possible places overseas such as; Japan, Hawaii, Guam, Spain, Iceland, and more.  They even had bases for us stateside like Winter Harbor Maine, Adak Alaska, Homestead Fla and Fort Meade Maryland.  Actually we were told that most of us would be land-based for our entire time in the Navy as only a small percentage of CTs would actually go on any type of ship duty at that time.  The reason was just 7 years earlier in 1968 a US Navy Spy ship called the USS Pueblo was captured by the North Koreans.  Onboard the ship were mostly CTs conducting surveillance of the area, “spying”.  The crew was held captive for 11 months ( 1 died during the capture) and a lot of Top Secret material was compromised.  For that reason, the Navy had most CTs pulled off ships and instead stationed them on these small secret military communications bases built around the world to conduct intelligence intercept operations.   I was told that I could write down 3 choices of duty stations I wanted.  Most likely the first one would be overseas then maybe I would return to the US.  I was also told that if I choose a place like Adak Alaska which was a one-year hazardous duty place, I would not only get it but from there you could then request any duty station you wanted.  Alaska, because it was deemed hazardous duty (desolate location and extreme weather conditions), you couldn’t take any spouse which is why it was only one-year duty.  This was perfect I would put in for Adak, Alaska,  go away for just one year, then select a place stateside where June and I could be married and she could be with me.  So Adak was top of my list along with Hawaii (hey why not) then Winter Harbor Maine.  I figured I would live in Alaska, hunt and do other outdoor activities I loved, it wouldn’t be so bad and one year would go by fast.  Well, my orders came in and to my surprise, not one of my choices would be my first duty station.  Instead, I was being sent to Okinawa Japan for an 18-month tour of duty.   What?? Where?? I had never heard of Okinawa Japan, never knew it existed.   Okinawa is a tiny island off the coast of China.  June had heard of it because her dad was on a ship during WWII that bombed the crap out of the island.  The battle of Okinawa was one of the bloodiest battles of WWII and now it would be where I would spend the next 18 months of my life.  The thought of spending 18 months away from June was something I could not even think about. So with that our plans started to change.  I asked June if she would consider getting married and coming with me.  I knew it would be a big sacrifice for her.  She was going to school at the time and being away from home especially that far would be difficult, but she agreed.  We agreed to get married, but I would have to go to Okinawa first, come back, get married then bring her back with me.  We both liked the idea and figured we could get married sometime in November.  Though first I had to tell her Dad.  So while I was home on leave I went to tell him.  I remember he was in the backyard sitting with his next-door neighbor Mr. Principal talking.  I walked out there and asked if I could talk to him about June and me and our future.  I remember Mr. Principal sort of expecting what was coming next and said “oh-oh I think I will excuse myself” and left.  So, there we were just June’s dad and me, a man I really hadn’t gotten to know very well to that point, sitting in her backyard.    I then began to share our plans for June and I getting married and taking her to Okinawa with me.    I remember he sat and listened to everything I had to say, but barely said a word.  I think he asked me some questions but for the most part, he was very quiet and respectful.  I think back at that and feel it must have been tough for him to listen to me.  I gave him the hardest news he would probably ever had to hear at that point in his life.   He and June were very close.  June was sort of a tomboy growing up and did a lot with her dad.   Now here was the prospect of his daughter only 20 years old, marrying a sailor only 18 years old, someone he really didn’t know well, then leaving home for the first time ever, and live overseas.  She was about to go off for one year to live on a small island in the Pacific over 7,000 miles from home, a place that he last saw probably smoldering in the distance from all the bombs his ship had just blasted it with.   So on May 15, 1976 (my sister Carolyn’s birthday) I got on a plane that would take me halfway around the world to live for 18 months, leaving all the wedding details to June.  I was about to begin the next chapter of my life, overseas in Okinawa Japan, and would be gone for the next 6 months, until our wedding day on November 13, 1976.  A new experience was about to begin.

Tragedy Escaped

Needless to say, moving away from Niantic was very difficult.  Not only were we going to a place I knew nothing about (even though it was only a few miles from Morristown where my grandparents lived), but it would be a new chapter without a father in the house. My mom told me that before we moved into our house we would live in during our years in Randolph she sat down with my grandfather to see if we could afford the house.  I was sitting there I guess hoping we couldn’t which in my mind meant we would have to stay in Niantic.  When my grandfather crunched the numbers and confirmed we could afford the house, I ran out of the room crying resigned to the fact we were actually leaving Niantic.   Randolph almost started as tragic as Niantic ended. As I mentioned in chapter 2, (Niantic Years), I came a couple of days earlier than my mom, sisters, and brother. I came with the moving truck which was driven by my fathers’ closest friend from Niantic, Mr. Don Hadaway. Don was affected the most outside of my family by my father’s death as they were close friends. The other man in the cab was Mr. Johns and I was in the middle. The ride to Randolph was smooth. We got to our new house where we were met by my grandfather (Pop-Pop) and a good friend of my mother, Ann Gantert, and her son Doug. Ann grew up with my mom in Morristown and came to see us. As the men worked I remember helping some and hanging with Doug who was my age. As the men were about to leave and head back to Connecticut, Doug turned to me and asked if I wanted to stay with them for a few days and wait for my mom and siblings to arrive. I asked my grandfather and he said no. He thought I should go back. Disappointed, I got in the truck and as we were about to back out – he held up his hand for the truck to stop. Apparently, he saw the disappointment in my eyes and if you know my grandfather, (more about him in a later chapter), he hated to disappoint us. He changed his mind but told me I could stay only if I could contact my mom and ask her. Doug quickly pointed out the house next door had a “red hand” in the window which designated the home as a “Helping Hand” home. I knocked on the door and introduced myself and asked if I could call my mom in Connecticut which they allowed, (remember no cell phones back then). Well, my Mom said yes and that answer prevented a possible tragedy. That night on the way back the truck got into a serious accident as it went under a low bridge that ripped the top of the truck nearly off. Both Mr. Hadaway and Mr. Johns got hurt but survived. I was told that if I was in the truck I may have gotten badly hurt or killed as the force of the accident probably would have thrown me through the windshield as we didn’t wear seatbelts in those days. I want to think my father was looking out for me from heaven and didn’t want my Mom to go through another tragedy so soon. It would not be the last time I escaped a tragedy as we will learn later in this chapter. Apparently, God was looking out for me and had plans for me in my later years as we will learn in the “Finding Jesus ” chapter.

Life in Randolph Begins

I don’t remember much about the beginning but I do know the adjustment was difficult.  Nobody would match the friends I had in Niantic.  We moved as I was about to enter Jr High.  I was hoping to begin Jr High with my friends in Niantic but that was not to be, or so I thought. That fall at the beginning of the new school year the schools in Niantic began a week earlier than in NJ.  So my mom planned a trip back to Niantic before our NJ schools were to begin.  I was able to attend the Jr. High school in East Lyme with my friends as a special visitor to the school.  I remember kids coming up to me in the hallway welcoming me back.  It was a great day and gave me the chance to begin Jr High with all my old friends from Niantic, though it was only for a day I’ll never forget that day.   Like in Niantic, in Randolph, we lived in another development that had plenty of kids around my age, mostly boys again.  The neighborhood was split between 3 groups of kids that I remember but at first, I mostly hung out with Doug in Mendham and his friends.   Doug lived with his brother, a step-father who was abusive and his Mom that let them do whatever they wanted.  My mom was pretty much the same.  She had her hands full with her new life, plus watching my 2 younger siblings Carolyn, (8yrs old) and Scott, (1 yrs old) I pretty much was on my own.  Doug was a drummer and we would hang out listening to rock music and pretending to emulate rock bands.  We even tried to start our own band called “Crystal Farm” but never did much with our rock and roll aspirations.  I was lead singer so I guess that was probably why we never made it big.  Doug introduced me to his friends who were made up of 2 girls which I ended up dating (whatever you can call dating at age of 13-14) – Cheryl Bell and a blonde girl whose name I can’t remember.  Doug’s friends were a bit wild like him, free to do whatever they wanted, mostly rich kids whose parents let them run wild.  I’m surprised I stayed out of trouble but besides your normal teen mischief no big stories to write about.  Doug’s step-father was mean and was abusive to Doug, his brother, and Mom.  They ended up moving out and at one time hid from his step-father at our house when he threatened to kill everyone.  Our friendship ended soon after that when we were down the shore.  My mom invited Doug and his Mom to join us.  Doug brought a friend who I ended up getting into a fistfight with over a girl.  My Mom kicked them all out and that was the last time I ever saw them.  It was also during that trip that I look back on an incident that still bothers me to this day.  After my Mom kicked out the Ganterts she asked her friend Pauline Taraska if she could send her son Joe down to spend the rest of the week with me (more on Joe later).  I remember Joe and I meet up with this guy probably in his 40’s who seemed interested in us.  He somehow convinced us to come back to his house though to this day I don’t remember the reason why.  Later that day Joe and I went to the address he gave us, we knocked on his door but there was no answer, so we left.  I look back and sometimes wonder why a 40ish-year-old guy took interest in 2 teenage boys, but I’m glad we never found out, I think God intervened as it may not have ended well. 

New Friends and Adventure

My days of going to Mendham were over and I started hanging out with the kids in my neighborhood.  At first, I hung out with a group of kids from one part of the neighborhood but after a couple of altercations with a couple of kids, I found new friends on the other side of the neighborhood who would remain my friends through my high school years: Greg & Gary Mezzacapo,  Tim Aloia, Mark Villerosi, Terry and Kelly Straub who were my main friends.  Life began to resemble my Niantic days of playing sports, sleeping outside, and hanging out in each other’s homes.  Besides just playing sports among ourselves we would often challenge kids in the upper part of our neighborhood to football or baseball games which were always fun.  Greg became my closest friend.  He was the best athlete and everyone wanted to be on his team all the time.  We mostly played baseball or football but in the winter we played a lot of hockey on ice ponds.  We often played on a pond down the street.  One time we were playing and it started to get warm outside.  The ice was starting to melt, but we kept playing, like idiots.  Suddenly the ice gave way as Greg and another kid went for a puck.  Everyone jumped off the ice, but me.  I laid on my stomach and tried to pull Greg up out of the water.  The ice beneath me gave way and I went into the water.  Greg and the other kid made it to safety but I had trouble at first getting out, as every time I went to push myself up, the ice broke.  I finally made it to the side to safety.  The police came and took the three of us home.   I was lucky that I didn’t drown, but again, God came to my rescue because he had a plan.  Why did I stay on the ice and try to save Greg?  Well, deep down I viewed him as my best friend.  He was a bit selfish and hotheaded but I overlooked those things.  Though I often thought of that incident and wondered why he didn’t do the same for me that day as I was struggling to get out.  Years later, we would get into another jam that would show his true colors.  Greg, Mark and I went to the movies in Randolph with three girls.  After the movie, we were hanging outside waiting for our ride when a group of guys from a local neighborhood surrounded us.  For some reason, they focused on me.  The group leader, a tough kid from Dover, pinned me against the brick building, as four other kids surrounded me.  By that time, Mark, Greg, and the girls had moved to safety.  The kid went to throw a punch at me but I blocked it.  He then slammed my head against the wall.  His buddies told me to run because they said he was going to kill me.  I pushed him away and ran toward the theater door, he then jumped on top of me from behind.  As I was struggling, I saw blood coming down onto my back.  I thought he stabbed me and I started to yell for help.  He and his buddies all ran as the manager of the movie came out to help.  He called the ambulance and I was taken to Dover General where I got my head bandaged due to a deep cut.  The police caught the kid and my mom and I had to go down to the police station to identify him.  I don’t know whatever happened to him after that but I survived with only a cut in my head.  As I look back, again Greg stood by and did nothing to help.  But maybe it was better as who knows what the outcome would have been as there were about 12 of them to 3 of us.   I again overlooked that and Greg remained a close friend, years later serving as my best man at my wedding.  Besides sports, just like Niantic, we had other outside adventures, like sleeping outside under the stars.  Our sleep outs were always fun as we would walk around our neighborhood late at night and jump into neighborhood pools, usually in our underwear or naked.  That all ended when a father who heard us came running out of the house.  We all went running and I collided with Gary and he fell on the street in only his underwear and got caught, so our skinny dipping days were over.  We often would sleep under the stars in backyards.  Onetime it started to rain in the middle of the night so a kid named Steve Cote who was with us said we should go and sleep in the enclosed porch at his house which was on the other side of these woods.  I somehow ended up first in line and had a black sleeping bag over my head to protect me from the rain.  I saw a house with an enclosed porch and opened the door to walk in.  All of a sudden a woman who apparently had woke up because she heard our commotion and came out to her porch started to scream and I mean scream.  I ran back to all my friends and said: “Steve, why is your sister screaming?”.  He said, “You idiot that is not my house, it’s my neighbors”.  Her husband came out with a bat and was going to probably beat us.  We yelled we were sorry, told him the mistake then went to my friend’s house.  I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night as I kept hearing her scream in my mind, like a horror show.   Life was pretty much normal, playing sports, little league, and doing what normal teens do.  My one friend’s father, Mark Villerosi, had season tickets to the Mets and often took all of us to home games.  I was even able to go to a World Series game in 1973 between the Mets and Oakland. They also owned a second home in Pennsylvania with a lot of land.  We would go there and ride his dirt bike and shoot guns, even did some hunting.  Greg Mezzacapo was also from a family that had some money.  They owned a home down the shore and his family invited me to stay with them one summer for 2 weeks.  I remember on the first night there by the time we got to the beach it was early evening and the beach was empty with no lifeguards.  We decided to still go out on our rafts which was risky since it was high tide and the water was rough, but hey at 14 years old nothing can hurt us.  Well, as I was out in the water I looked and saw my friend Greg on the beach waving to me and pointing at the jetty.  Apparently the waves had pushed me too close to the rocks, so I started to paddle as hard as I could.  My efforts were not getting me anywhere and the waves were about to throw me into the rocks.  Luckily, a lifeguard who came back to the beach because he left his jacket saw my struggles and jumped in and pulled me to safety.   He told me he got there just in time,  as a few more waves and I would have been in the rocks.  After catching my breath, I went to thank him, but he was gone.  As I look back, I again believe God rescued me because he had a plan.  Who knows, maybe the lifeguard was an angel, as he was gone as fast as he arrived.

JR. High Years

In Jr. High not much happened besides normal stuff.  My social life started to expand beyond the neighborhood.  I wasn’t in the real popular crowd, but I was invited to some parties that consisted of us hanging in basements with girls and playing spin the bottle and other kissing games.  We experimented with alcohol.  Someone would somehow get a hold of some beer, usually from an older sibling and we would try to be cool and share a bottle of beer with a small group of us, usually forcing it down and then saying, ” that was great!!  I guess that was the beginning of a life of drinking which hit its peak in the Navy years, (more on that later).  In 8th grade, I was a class clown.   A kid, Robert Shephis, and I would perform 2 person funny skits in front of classes for laughs.  I tried my hand at football again and played for the Randolph Bulldogs in 8th grade.  I was not a big kid and had only played one other year, which was in Niantic in 6th grade.  They had no tryouts but had all the new kids who signed up come down to the field and they would split us between JV and Varsity.  I was sure I would be on JV, since most of my friends were playing JV, but to my surprise, I was the 2nd kid announced for the Varsity team.  We went 6-0-2 that year.  I was a second-string player, which meant at most practices we held the dummies so the first string could beat up on us.  Right before the season began, I was walking down the street in my neighborhood and some girl on a bike ran into my leg, ripping open my calf.   I looked down, saw no blood but a piece of my muscle hanging out all ripped up.  I yelled at her, walked home where my mom freaked out and took me to the hospital where I needed stitches.  I ended up missing the first game.  I played in all but two games that season, as a sub mostly on defense.  The most memorable game was against Wharton. We were well ahead by halftime so they let the subs play the entire second half.  I played both offensive and defensive guard.  On one play I was a pulling guard and had the key block for Gary Gorman on a TD run around the end.  I remember hurting my hand and having it wrapped up and going back in.  I played the rest of the game with a hand wrapped up. I loved it.   My football career ended when I realized in High School I was just too skinny to keep playing and I quit the freshman team.

High School Years

High school was not full of many big highlights, until my Sr. year. I had a hard time, especially during my freshman and Sophmore years.  I was not that big and sort of went into a shell and became very quiet.  As a freshman, I remember being picked on by the bigger kids in the upper classes.  I still loved sports so I went out for track because they didn’t have cuts.  I was an average runner so I tried pole vaulting which was a mistake. I wasn’t strong enough to pull myself up.  I ran track through my junior year, not because I loved it, but because I wanted to do a least one high school sport.  I quit my senior year because I wanted to work and make money.  The only other sport I did during those years was skiing.  I actually started in 8th grade by joining the ski club.  I remember one time when I was learning to ski, I was on a ski chair lift and my ski got caught on a snowbank.  The force pulled me right off the lift and I fell in the snow.  The lift operator stopped the lift and cursed at me, and my friends laughed at me.  It didn’t deter me from continuing and skiing became a nice outlet even into my adult years.  During my High School years, the focus of my social life was mostly my neighborhood friends, with one exception, my friend Joe Taraska who lived in Lake Hopatcong.  His mom and my Mom were friends when they were young.  I was introduced to Joe around my 8th grade year, and stayed friends throughout high school and still are friends today, though he lives in Tennessee.   When I think about it, the most memorable times in my teen years were with Joe.  His Mom went to a big church in Randolph called Bethlehem church.  Though we did not go to church at all, I got involved with the Boys Brigade program which was similar to Boy Scouts.  Joe and I would go every Friday night for a few years.  They would play games, learn life skills, and teach about the Bible (more on this in my chapter “Finding Jesus”.)  I have fond memories of those times.  Not having a Father it gave me a chance to hang out with men who would guide us and teach us good godly principles.  We would go on day hikes and sometimes weekend camp-outs. I remember one weekend in the winter, we stayed in a cabin up in NY State.  There was snow all over the place and it was cold.  We went sledding and cross country skiing through the woods.  The leader was Bill Woods, who was a great guy and a father figure to all the boys.  He would make us each eat a prune each morning. I hated them and could barely swallow one.  I always wondered why he had us do that.  Years later when I saw him I asked him that question.  He said it was to keep us regular -he didn’t want to deal with any boys who were constipated on the camp-out – hah.  Those times would be the foundation of what would happen to me later in life, but I was about to begin another darker chapter in my life.  At about 16 both Joe and I apparently outgrew those outings and stopped going.  We started to fool a bit more with drinking, parties, and girls.  I loved to go to Hopatcong and visit Joe. His Mom like my mom would let us do what we wanted.  He lived by the lake and his one friend had a boat.  He would take us out on the boat and we would go over to Bertrands Island which was an amusement park, where we would hang out.  Though Joe and I didn’t get into any big trouble we did press the boundaries a bit.  There are two incidences I can remember that stand out.  We once went into a restaurant where they advertised all you could eat fish.  After the first couple of helpings, we asked for more and the owner said no apparently he thought we had enough.  We both got ticked off and decided to sneak out without paying.  The other was one I still to this day think about, as it could have ended tragically. We went to one of Joe’s friend’s house whose parents were away for the weekend.  His friend had some marijuana.  I stayed away from that stuff to that point.  Marijuana was popular among teens back then but I had never tried it.  For some reason that night I gave in and we spent the next few hours smoking pot.  At one point in the evening, Joe comes downstairs with a shotgun and points the gun at both me and his friend and says “bang, bang” and started to laugh.    Joe then goes back upstairs with the gun and within a minute we both hear “BOOM”.  We both run upstairs, there is Joe sitting with a surprised look on his face.  The gun had been loaded, and Joe blew a hole right through his friend’s wall.  You could see through to the outside. The kid told us both to leave and I never saw him again.  Apparently, he called his brother-in-law to come to fix the hole to hide it from his parents.  To this day you can still see from the outside of that house the patched up hole.  When I go by that house I am reminded how God again came to my rescue and saved me from tragedy, because he had a plan.

My senior year of high school was the best of my school years.  It all started a bit strange and unsure of where I would spend my last year in high school.  In 1973, my Mom met a man she would soon marry.  After being a widow for almost 5 years, she met Steve France who was the Fire Chief of Morristown.  I was happy for her and liked Steve.  They quickly got married in February of 1974 when I was a junior.  The only problem was we lived in Randolph and he and his kids (4 of them – Teddy, Victor, Yvonne, Bernice) lived in Morristown.  At first, my mom would spend weekends in Morristown while Joanne and I would stay in Randolph.  Then my Mom tells us that she was going to sell her home that summer (1974), and we were all moving in with them in Morristown.  One problem,  I was going into my senior year and didn’t want to go to Morristown High School.  Morristown for us Randolph kids was a scary place.  It was big and had a lot of black kids, which to this point in my life was still something I was not used to.  Even my friends said to me in concern “you are moving to Morristown?”  I didn’t deem myself prejudice, but at this point in my life, I had been around mostly white kids (we had one black kid in our high school). That school year 1974, they even had race riots at Morristown High School, and we heard all about them.  Not only were we going to move to Morristown, but Steve and his kids lived right across the street from the high school.  I asked my Mom if there was any way I could continue to go to Randolph High School to finish my senior year but live in Morristown.   It seemed impossible since I didn’t have my license (turned 17 in November 1974) and she couldn’t run me back and forth every day from Morristown.   It seemed like I was going to have to go through another life change, another big move in my senior year.  Well, to my surprise it all worked out.  My friend’s parents, (Terry & Kelly Straub), came through.  They told my Mom I could live with them for the first 3 months until I got my license and then I could drive myself back and forth to school from Morristown.  The Randolph school board allowed it and that September I moved in with the Straubs.  I am forever grateful to them as taken on another teen boy (they had 3 boys, Terry, Kelly and Barry – all in high school) wasn’t easy but those 3 months living with them was a blessing and fun. I moved back to Morristown to live that December when I got my license.   The house was crowded with Steve, my mom and 7 kids (Teddy moved out when we all moved in).  It was fun living there, but not without its challenges – we were nothing like the Brady Bunch – though I got along with everyone (can’t say the same about my sister Joanne).   Since Steve was a fireman – it meant an active house full of people and lots of drinking.  I feel I adjusted well to my new surroundings  I guess because I spent most of my time in Randolph.  My senior year was great because I had a shortened schedule.  I knew I was not going to college so I went on the work-study program – I only needed three classes, Math, English, and Gym to graduate, (I also took a photography class).  I went to school 1/2 day and worked at a Gas station in Randolph 3 days a week.  Since I had no car ( first 3 months of school) and got out of school at 12:00 noon – I hitchhiked home to the Straub’s house every day and also to work.  I hitchhiked every day through December when I finally got my license and bought a car.  I then moved back to Morristown for the remainder of the school year.   Hitch-hiking back in those days was no big deal as I had been doing it for years with my friends before we got cars.  We would often hitchhike with a few of us.  One of us would stand out in the road and hitchhike and the others would hide behind a bush.  When the car stopped, we would jump out.  Sometimes the driver would laugh and let us all in and other times the drivers would get ticked and speed off.  It was a way many young people would get around back then and I never felt threatened or afraid.  Though one time it did cause a scare for my mom.  When I was either a sophomore or junior I was at a track meet and apparently had forgotten to tell my mom we had one that night.  During track season I would often hitchhike home after practice if I missed the late bus.  That night when I did not come home at the expected time, my mom started to worry as she thought I probably was hitchhiking home.   She panicked and called the police to report me missing, thinking I got kidnapped.  After the meet when I got back to school all these kids told me the cops were at the school looking for me.  I called my mom told her I was safe and she came to get me.  I think I stopped hitchhiking for a while after that. 

With my new found freedom ( a car) I pretty much was on my own and spent most my time hanging out in Randolph.  That year I started to hang out with a few new friends:  John Dufus, Gary Resnick, and Dave Akromas.  John, Gary, and I spent a lot of time together, mostly drinking and going to parties.  I look back and can’t believe how many times we drove while drinking.  I was only 17 but John was 18 (drinking age back then) and would often get us the alcohol we needed.  We would often drive up to Hopatcong to party with Joe and his friends as well as go to parties in Randolph.  Once during a snowstorm, we took off for Pennsylvania with a case of beer in our car to go skiing.  I had a great car, a Ford 8 cylinder I nicknamed “Bessy”, but it was not good in the snow.  We couldn’t get up the hill close to the ski resort because of the snow.   We didn’t want to go home but didn’t know what to do.  I remembered that Mark’s parent’s farmhouse was only a few miles away so we headed for it, snow and all.  Of course, it was empty but we got in through a window.  We sat for a couple of hours, drinking beer and going out in the snow shooting some shotguns we found in the house.  I started to feel bad about being there and we left. On the way home for some reason, we stopped at a bowling alley in Pennsylvania.  The place was open but completely empty, I guess because of the snow.  The only ones in the alley were us three and three other teen girls.  We started talking with them and we bowled a few games with them.  We talked about getting together with them later back at Mark’s house again but we suddenly realized we did not have enough money to pay for the games.  So we devised a plan: I would go out and get the car and John and Gary would run out and we would speed off.  John and Gary came running out and jumped in the car and we sped away with the bowling alley manager running through the parking lot trying to chase us.  On the way home because of the snow coming down hard and  I guess a few beers in me, we crashed into a snowbank.  I couldn’t get the car out and we were stuck.  I was expecting the police to come by and arrest us not only for underage drinking but also for running out of the bowling alley without paying.   All of a sudden a tow truck heading for another call came by and helped us out and somehow we all made it home safely.  The 3 of us did some stupid things together.  Once we were driving on route 10 and pulled up next to another car with a young couple in it (late 20’s or 30’s).  I was driving and John and Gary decided to moon them.  When we got off the exit we ended up pulling into a convenience store.  The guy apparently followed us and came flying into the lot and jumped out threatening to “kick are a–es”.  We apologized and he left, we all started to laugh, but I have to admit he got us nervous.  Dave Akromas was another close friend of mine.   I had known Dave for a few years. He played on the Randolph Bulldogs together and was part of the neighborhood gang that we competed against in sports.  I didn’t hang with Dave much to that point but we started to hang out during my Senior year. Dave was a drummer and also what we called back then a”pot-head”.  I also played the drums so we had a common interest.  Dave mostly hung with the “pot-heads” in school and was really into that scene.  I started to get more into that “pot” scene during that time going with Dave to “pot” parties with a kid named Scott McGill.  One night after smoking, we were driving back to Morristown and his car tire became flat.  We pulled over to change the tire and all of a sudden a police car pulled over with his lights on.  I was scared to death and thought for sure he would arrest us.  Luckily, he didn’t get to close to us but just stood there with his flashlight on us and Dave’s car as Dave changed the tire.  We then got in Dave’s car and drove away.  I think after that I stopped going to those types of parties.  Dave and I remained friends but didn’t hang out as much.  He would later be part of two key events in my life  – “Navy and Finding Jesus” which I cover in two later chapters.  I look back on those incidences and it’s amazing nothing bad happened.  We were often foolish and drove drunk or high.  Back then nobody wore seat belts.  Some kids lost their lives because of it, a few from Randolph High School.  God surely was good to me and spared me (and my Mom) from those tragic events that affected other teens and their families.  I guess because he had a plan for me.

LIFE TAKES ANOTHER UNEXPECTED TURN

Well, my senior year was moving quickly.  The year was 1975, the last part of my senior year.  Kids were starting to look ahead to colleges.  I knew I wasn’t going that route for two reasons:  I didn’t like school, and my Mom had very little money.  For me to try the college route was only a waste of my time and her money.  I liked photography as I took a course in my senior year and enjoyed it.  My grandfather, (Pop-Pop), even built me a darkroom in his basement.   I thought maybe I would try some sort of photography school.  Then in the spring of 1975, our High School had a career day that would change my life.  I remember most kids signed up for two seminars: Mortician and Secret Service, and I did the same.  I think for most of us we just wanted to see what a Mortician would say – hey maybe he would show us pictures of dead bodies but the seminar was a waste.  I remember loving the Secret Service seminar, thinking it would be exciting to do something like that and travel around the world. I was ready to get out of NJ and see more of the world.  Growing up not many families traveled a lot and my whole life was spent in one area, the Northeast, (NJ and Connecticut).  Seeing the world captured my interest.  So when I walked down the hall and saw the Navy table I sat down and started to listen to the recruiter talk.  He talked about traveling around the world and showed pictures of far off places I only read about.  Within 5 minutes I was convinced that was the direction I was going.  I went home and told my mother (she wasn’t happy) and within a few days headed up to the Navy recruiting office in Morristown.  I was hoping to do something with photography in the Navy which he agreed was a good possibility.  He scheduled me to take a test that I took that would help place me in a career.  I did well on the test, but didn’t get a high enough score for photography school as he said due to its popularity was hard to get into, (don’t know if he was telling the truth).  He then told me about a job called “Communication Technician”.  He said it was a top-secret field and sort of described it as a James Bond type of job.  Traveling around, wearing plain clothes.  I would be like a “spy” listening in to other countries’ communications for top-secret information to share with our government.  Sounded cool to me so I asked, ” Where do I sign up?”  I signed up for the 6-month delayed enlistment program that would guarantee me everything I wanted, a job, school,  and where I would do my boot camp.  I choose Orlando, Fla.  Since I was only 17 at the time, I had to have my mother come and sign a waiver for me which she reluctantly, but did at my Step-father Steve’s urging.  Right after that Dave Akromas found out what I did and he did the same thing.  We signed up for the buddy program and would be going off to boot camp together in 6 months – October 1975.  With my future intact, not having to go away for another 6 months, all I had to do was finish high school and hang out and party for the summer with my buddies since none of us had a girlfriend to tie us down. The rest of my senior year was set – or I thought.    All that was about to change.

MEETING THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE 

For my entire high school years, I never went steady with any girl.  There was plenty I liked and hung out with but never to the point where we dated.  With the Navy only 6 months away, I didn’t expect that to change, but it did.  At the end of May, they always had a senior cut day.   It was a day that seniors would traditionally head for the shore and hang out for the day.   I went with Gary and John to meet a few of Gary’s friends.  In that group of friends was a girl named June Poulos.  She had already graduated and was in her first year of college – she was in my sister’s class of 1974.  She took the day off to join this group of friends Gary hung out with: Sam, Glenn, Janice, Chuck, and a few others, all who were in my grade. I knew who they were but didn’t hang with them much to that point.  I quickly became attracted to June, she was pretty and seemed like a fun outgoing person.  I don’t remember much about that day besides all hanging at the beach, going in the water and playing football, (June played also), on the beach.  Soon after that Gary’s friends became my new friends and June was part of that group.  I started to have feelings for June which didn’t sit well with Gary as he also had a crush on her.  Soon, June shared those same feelings and we started dating.  For the entire summer of 1975 – we spent every day together.  We hung out together, we did everything together – it was the best summer of our lives.  Our many activities were drive-in movies, going to the shore, and just hanging out with friends.  One of our favorite hangouts that summer seemed to be at a dance club called Smiles in Parsippany.  Disco was beginning to become the rage and we all got caught up in it.  Since the drinking age was only 18, everyone we knew was going out to these dance clubs, drinking and disco dancing. I was only 17 but since June and all my friends were 18 I never got carded.  My sister Joanne and step-sister Bernice would often come with us, heck even at times my Mom (Mom-Mom)  would join us.  June and I got pretty good at disco dancing, doing dances like the bump, and the hustle.  During those disco days, Leisure suits and platform shoes became the style and yes I even started to dress that way, hah.   It was the best summer and  June would actually keep an album recording everything we did together.  She recorded each event with the date and event name.  She pasted in items to remind us of each event,  like movie and concert and event tickets, cards, restaurant business cards, anything she could find as a reminder of what we did together that summer.   My family loved her and she loved being around them.  I’m not sure how her mom and dad felt about me at first as we were out most of the time.  I remember taking her to an all-day concert by my favorite rock and roll artist, Alice Cooper.  The concert featured many bands with Alice Cooper as the main performer.  The concert was named “Welcome to My Nightmare”.  We stood in line all day drinking (many were smoking pot, June hated pot).  Just as the concert was about to start it started to rain, really hard.  The concert was postponed to the next day and we all went back.  June told me her dad was not too happy with me. I think he thought I was a bad influence on June.  Little did he know it was June that was becoming the grounding influence I needed.  Her dad and I would become very close later in life, (see chapter “Most Influential Men in My Life”).   Life was great and for the first time in my life, I was falling in love.  I didn’t see it coming, didn’t expect it – heck the Navy was right around the corner and I couldn’t get out of that commitment as I already signed on the dotted line.  So with that reality just ahead of us we wanted to spend every moment together – because who knew what was in store in the future as I would be gone for 4 years.  The only time we were not together was when a few of my friends and I went camping in Maine for a week.  A  couple of things I learned during that trip was: 1) Maine was probably a great place for you to visit when you are older (30+) but it is not a place to go when you are 17-18-year-old male teens.  Though it was beautiful, there was very little to do for guys our age.  2) You don’t go away camping with a friend who has a crush on your girlfriend.  We all knew that Gary had a crush on June, but it came to a head on that trip.  We had been drinking and I can’t remember what started the argument, but for some reason, Gary started to say I stole June from him and he wasn’t happy about it.  We got into an argument and he took off saying he was leaving and going back to New Jersey.  The problem was that he had no way home as he didn’t drive up,  he was a passenger in our friend Sam’s car.   We found him out on the highway with his thumb out hitchhiking with a sign that said: “NEED A RIDE TO NEW JERSEY”. We got there just as an 18 wheeler pulled over to pick him up.  Sam, our most respected friend jumped out and ran up to talk Gary and the truck driver out of Gary going with him.  Gary listened to Sam and got out and stayed with us.  Gary and I didn’t talk too much the rest of the trip but eventually, Gary came to accept the fact that June and I were dating and Gary never again acted out in a strange way.  The summer ended and there were many sad goodbyes as we were graduating and all going off to start new chapters in our lives. Many going on to college and life would change for us all.  The hit song that summer that sort of captured what we were all going through was by Seals and Crofts “We May Never Pass This Way Again”, as many of us have lost touch throughout the years.  Well, summer turned into fall and the reality of me going away was starting to hit both June and I.  We even started talking about the future, marriage, spending our lives together (hard to believe just 6 months earlier I didn’t even know June).  We were determined to make the whole thing work, despite distance and time, (4 years is a long time).  She would go to school and work, I would do the Navy thing, get out and we would continue where we left off.  Finally, time was getting close to me leaving.   I remember sitting up at nights watching every movie I could find that had a Navy theme.  I was excited but sad to be leaving  June and my family.  Everyone gave me a going-away party and presented me with a plaque with a Navy emblem and the date 1975 – (to be determined).  I remember the day I left.  June slept over at my house downstairs on the couch.  I got up and showered, crying in the shower.  I went downstairs, June, and my Mom both had red eyes from crying.  We headed to the Morristown train station where I would board a train to Newark, get sworn into the Navy, and then get on another train to Orlando, Fla.  As the train was approaching I hugged my Mom who was crying, shook Steve’s hand then turned to June.  As she was crying she hands me a letter she wrote to me to read on the train.  We kissed goodbye.  The train stops and out jumps Dave Akromas,(he had gotten on in Dover), all excited and he yells “All Aboard for the Navy – yahoo!!”, we all laughed.  It was a good moment that broke the tension.  I waved goodbye and off I went.  Our friend Scott McGill, came along for the ride to Newark with us just to see us off.  Years later all three of us would have the same life-changing experience –  FINDING JESUS.  With my High School years now behind it was off to a new chapter – THE NAVY YEARS.