Well, what is a book without an epilogue? I just want to say that writing this book was one of the best things I have done in my life. I had been thinking about it since the day my sister Carolyn placed the thought in my head (thanks Carolyn) but never found the time as life gets busy. Low and behold the year 2020 came and what happened “COVID-19” put a halt to almost everything for a few months. So I suddenly had the time to sit and reflect on my life. This final reflection is what I discovered.
Through life, you have certain dreams, expectations that you hope for. I remember as a kid I loved to make people laugh and me and my friend Joey Coleman talked about being comedians and traveling the country together. Well though I had some brief moments in 8th grade and in my time in Youth Ministry, it never panned out as most things we want to become as kids never do. I wanted to play football and dreamed of being a star QB in HS and when I got older. That dream was squashed by my skinny – 137lbs dripping wet HS weight and a kid named Nick Mygas who pummeled me at every practice in 8th grade before he went on to star as a Linebacker and Captain for Navy Football. I also wanted to see the world and for a brief time, I did, while in the Navy, and had a blast, and hope to do more in my twilight years with June. So if you look at it in one way, life is full of unfilled dreams and disappointments. Or, you can choose to look at it in another way, we may have dreams but God places us on a path that he chooses to fulfill our purpose. That’s what I have learned as I look back on life.
Life, yes it is full of heartaches I would love to change, like the passing of people in my life who were gone to soon: my father, Pop-pop, Chris Poulos, and Nicky. Though pain is part of the human experience and difficult to understand when it is happening, time begins to reveal how good can come out of painful moments. My father dying so young placed us on a different course in life, but through it, I met my life’s partner, June and now have a wonderful family Crystal, Christopher, Robert, along with their spouses Ryan, Joy, and soon Lizzy. Through them, I have 5 wonderful grandchildren: Brody, Anna, Camy, CJ and Keagan. As my granddaughter, Anna said one day when I talked to her about my father’s death; through that tragedy, God gave me a wonderful family as a blessing in return. Even with Nicky’s death, I’m now seeing Uncle Eddie starting to read the Bible and talking about looking forward to seeing Nicky again. It’s like God says in his word in Isaiah 61:3 “he makes beauty out of ashes”.
So as I looked back on my life during these last few months while I wrote my story, I discovered that same thing that George Baily found out in the movie this book is semi titled after, “It’s been a wonderful life and I have been truly blessed”. During the writing of this book as I reflected on my life’s event, there was a mixture of emotions, happiness, tears, heartache of years gone by so fast, but most of all satisfaction for a life well-lived. Do I wish at times I was more financially successful? Yes, but as I have come to learn, true success comes from the relationships formed during the journey.
So as I look back on the highlights of my life these are the things that flood my memory and give me a joyful heart: growing up in the 60’s and ’70s when life seemed much simpler, living in Connecticut and remembering the “sandlot years”. Growing up in a time of life where everyone was like a family in your neighborhood and all the Moms were always home when you walked through the door after being outside all day playing with your friends. Moving to New Jersey and having my grandparents live close by so we could have Sunday dinner with them on Lake Road and going to the Corner Store (Neits Store) to buy Archie comic books, Madd and Cracked magazines. Being able to work at the Babe Ruth World Series in Morristown at the concession stand and getting to serve a hotdog to “Lefty Grove” from the Yankees and Pete Lucia from the band ‘Tommy James and the Shondells”. Of course, moving to New Jersey placed me on a path to meet my wife – “June” and the rest is history. Joining the Navy and getting to see and live in two different countries, and having June along to enjoy it with me. Having children young and enjoying many fun memories like, family vacations down the shore, Myrtle Beach, Disney World, and all their sporting events, plus just being a Dad. I’ll never forget the time when we drove down to Disney with Robert and as we passed under the “Welcome to Disney World” sign hearing him say “wow” in the backseat. That was one of my favorite trips as Crystal and Christopher flew down and we were with Aunt Debbie, Eddie, and Nicky. Then I had the joy to go again years later with my children and grandchildren, and hope to go again one day. Also, watching and cheering on each child when they were young: Crystal, Christopher, and Robert at their many sports activities and coaching each of them at one time. Now I get to do the same as a Grampa cheering on my grandchildren as they play their many sports: Baseball, Hockey, Lacross, Soccer, Basketball, and soon football. Though now I’m much more relaxed and can sit back in my “Pop-Pop” chair and enjoy them playing without yelling!!
I also look back on how blessed I was following God’s leading and going into ministry. My favorite years were at Washington Valley Chapel and being in Youth Ministry. I loved going on the missions trips with the Youth group to places like Colorado where we camped out under the stars in the Utah desert with the cry of coyotes in the distance. Going the see the Grand Canyon and seeing the teen faces as they looked in awe at God’s creation. Going to Montana and white water rafting down a river in “Big Sky” country. Horseback riding with the Youth group across the open Montana country, yelling at Karl to hurry up as he was lagging along on a horse named “Mare”. Then riding the horses across a Montana river and watching the instructor and her horse fall in after she warned us about the hazards. Driving down to Flordia with some teens to help in the Tornado disaster relief, and handing out toys to small children whose homes were destroyed. There were also the many weekend trips up to Lake Champion and doing skits in front of the kids making them laugh. Though I had to put up with “bugger walls”, teens chasing buffalo across the open wilderness (Matt & Josh) and almost getting killed, a tongue piercing on the Myrtle Beach trip, and being escorted off the paintball property by the management after being caught sneaking in our own paintballs, plus other teenage nonsense, it was worth it as I was able to do all these things with my son Christopher and his high school friends.
Now as I am in the last phase of my life watching my children as adults and parents of their own (Roberts time will come) I can’t be more proud of how they have turned out. How Crystal has become a great school teacher loved by the kids she teaches. Christopher following in my shoes into the technology world and now getting a chance to fulfill his calling as a coach for school sports. Robert following in the footsteps of my father (his grandfather) and becoming a Mechanical Engineer and doing well in that field. As I look at how my children have succeeded not only professionally but personally with families of their own I can sit with a smile and count my blessings. June and I have even had the blessing of having Crystal and her family and Christopher and his family move back in with us for a short time as they each waited for their next step in life. Both those times were wonderful memories.
To conclude: as Frank Sinatra once said in a song, “regrets I had a few, but then again too few to mention” I guess sums up all of our lives as we look back. The only thing I would change about that song is instead of saying “I did it my way”, my story would have the line “I did it, God’s way”. I hope each of you, my children, and one day my grandchildren, after you have read my story, that you have learned a little bit more about Dad/Pop-pop and have enjoyed the pages in these chapters that made up my journey, learning about how I grew up and the events that have shaped who I am. Enjoy your own life journey, learn from your mistakes, don’t hold onto regrets, allow God to teach you through the pains of life, and most of all embrace the path God has for you. I would like to end with this scripture that gives a great depiction of life. Embrace it, enjoy it and most of all live it. (This verse was made into a song by the Byrds called “Turn, Turn, Turn”)
A Time for Everything
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
Remember most of all this verse: “ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart”.
God Bless you all, Dad/Pop-pop
