I Believe – My Values

What our parents saw

As I watch a documentary about WWII,  I consider what did our parents see, hear and experience in their early 20’s.    Life seemed so much harder then.  I wish I would have talked more about this with them.  Mom always said, “you have no idea”.  I remember her telling me that they had to stretch everything they had.  For example,  I have a cabinet that mom had in the house at one time.  It was called a pie safe.  The doors on it had screens and latches on it.  that way the dog or anyone else couldn’t get the food. (pie)  

When it was of no use in the house,  Dad took the old cabinet to use in the garage.  The mice would chew thru the wood, so dad took soup can lids to cover the holes.   I asked mom why he didn’t just build a new cabinet?  He was good at building anything.  (another story).  

She said “we couldn’t just go out and buy things”.  I  assumed she meant they didn’t have  much money.  She told me “you weren’t allowed to buy things like- sugar, flour, fat, tires, lumber- many things were rationed”.  (See story about ration books)

That is why we had piles of what I thought was junk.  Dad, and his 2 brothers, who lived just down the street, shared piles of steel and metal, wood, tires.  “You didn’t throw anything away.  Somebody could use it for something else.”   Whenever he needed to repair  or build something  he would go to the piles of leftovers.

I wonder about when dad’s oldest brother, Uncle Phil, who went to serve in the military, what things were like in his family.  I imagine Grandma probably said the rosary and went to mass everyday.   In his obituary we learned that he served for 5 yrs overseas,  had been shot and earned the Purple Heart medal.  Dad would have been about 18 years old, and Uncle Jr. about 8,  when Uncle Phil served.  At the time, he was the only one of his brothers who served.  Dad was exempt from serving as he was needed to work on the farm.  Farmers were needed to feed the country.   Uncle Jr. was too young.  

August 17, 2020

Mom’s Ration book -finding a treasure

I liked dressing up mom’s cement goose.  after all I had one of my own and it was fun to see mom do something that was silly and watch her smile.  She was a practical person and if she didn’t see a purpose for something, she wasn’t doing it.  One summer afternoon I noticed she had several boxes of goose clothes on the bookshelves in the garage. (The bookshelves held many other things besides books.)

Being curious about the many outfits  she had I started sorting and organizing them.

Mom was neither.  As I straightened the rest of the shelves, I noticed there were several old books about women and business.  No doubt, dad must have rescued them from one of the many auctions they attended.  Since I was the only child who was a businesswoman,  I knew he must’ve wanted them because of me. It made me feel like, maybe he had been proud of me.  You never

knew how you felt with our parents.  nobody ever showed feelings.  It was always, “the facts mam, just the facts”   Since he had been gone for several years,  I asked mom if I could have these for my library.  She gave her permission, but said, “look through them, before you take them home, you never know what might be stuck in between the pages”.  Cool!  what would I find – money? a note?  a secret treasure map?

Leafing through the pages I found – scraps of papers used as a bookmark,  then a dog-eared page,  a couple pages had words underlined,  (had dad actually read the books and took notes?)  Having 7 daughters,  he might have been trying to figure us out.  OK, if that was all I found then I was happy.  Just to surmise what he might have been thinking felt good.

It wasn’t until almost the last book that I came across some small booklets.  At first I thought maybe they had been in the book when mom and dad brought them home.  They looked real old,  discolored but still in good shape.  Then I noticed on the front page of the small booklet was dad’s name, their was also ones with mom and Barbara’s name on, too.  Wow! what was this?  It said “Ration book”.  I showed them to mom and with no surprise and no excitement she told me about the books.  These books were from World War II.  The country was rationing certain items to all Americans, to help in the war effort..  The books said- Gas coupons,  sugar,  flour, meat, canned goods,  coffee  etc.  She explained, “You were supposed to tear off one of the perforated “coupons” each time you bought something”.  There were several coupons left in each book.  But mom, I asked, why didn’t you use up all the coupons?  She just said, “ you had to have money to buy the items.”

Being practical as they were,  I asked  “couldn’t you give them to Grama or someone else who could use them?’  Then very seriously she told me,  “you couldn’t give them to anyone else because you had to even show ID to use them.  And if you bought something for someone else you could get into trouble.  I could tell she didn’t want to take any chances back then.    I’m guessing that even thinking about it you probably felt unpatriotic.  After all,  her brother, Uncle Raymond and dad’s brother, Uncle Phil were or had been  in the service about that time.  This was people’s way of feeling they were doing their part in the war effort.

I asked her if I could have one of the books, since there were several.  She said I could take them all,  they weren’t any good.  Maybe it brought back hard memories for her.  It was very important for me, having a little glimpse into my family’s life during the war.

There was a time Bill and I considered adoption.  We wanted a little boy to even out our family.   We were asked to take classes for the adoption. During the classes we were to make a chart of our family tree. I became interested in looking back as far as I could.  Working with mom and dad to fill in what they knew. I decided to bring Aunt Agnes and Aunt Theo,  mom’s only living Aunts to her house for lunch.  In the mean time I searched at the Tecumseh library for the article about the train accident that Mom’s dad and oldest sister were killed.  It was the spring of 1930.  Mom never talked about it and just got teary whenever it was mentioned,  which was hardly ever.  

    We had arranged for dad to need a ride shortly after they got there so that we could talk with them alone.  They told us how devastating it was for the family, the whole town really.  Mom was only 5 and Uncle Raymond was only 2, Uncle Alfred, Aunt Frances and Helen were in elementary school when it happened.  I am attatching the article from the paper.  

TheytoldusthatGrandpaLidsterandMargie(thatwasmom’soldestsister,whowasabouttograduatehighschool)hadgottenaridehomefromafriend.  On the way home the car stalled as it crossed the railroad tracks, about 2 miles North of where they lived.  The friend and Margie were inside the car trying to get it started and grampa was trying to push it off the tracks.  (In those days the trains didn’t use whistles unless they were in a town.)  This was 1930 and there was no insurance, so if you lost your car it was a big loss.  As the article says, it dragged the car a ways down the tracks and everyone was cut beyond recognition. 

Grandmahad5childrentocareforand  a 100 acre farm.  They told us how all the farmers in the area helped get the crops in and gave the family clothes and other stuff they needed.  Thank goodness Aunt Theo lived across the street.

They also told us stories about how their grandpa fought in the civil war.  That would be my great, great, great, great grandpa.  They remembered he talked about how cold they were in the winter and that they had to find their own food.  Stealing eggs from chickens, stealing chickens, hunting and cooking for themselves.  The Union (government of the north) only gave them a uniform, gun and bullets;  and a canteen.  Food rations were unreliable.

My second mother/friend was the best neighbor I ever had. She always wanted to visit with someone and if you were the one, you were the only one.  She listened intently to everything you said. She wanted to meet everybody you knew, and I always felt like someone special to her. She would talk to me about all her other friends, and we laughed about so many things.  I don’t know if she knew it or not, but I knew she would trick me into coming down to her house when she would call and say I have something to show you or could you help me write a check. I just knew she wanted some company and it was me. 

Wheneversheaskedustocomeoverfordinner,itwouldbeabanquet. Shealwaysmadetwomeats,potatoes,andseveralsidedishes. youalwayswentawaystuffed. Shemadesureofthat. 

Oneofherfamoussayingswas- whenyouwerevisitingandyousaidyouhadtoleave. She’d  say “oh come on set down.”  

When Bill was working midnights all those years. She was great company. She would say let’s watch that movie that’s coming up on Wednesday, but when I went down to watch the movie, she talked all the way thru it.  She told stories about stupid things the cats did.More stories about her family, and when she was younger, she loved to go out, she love to sneak out and go dancing. I bet she was a wild dancer. I bet she was a wild everything. I loved her a lot and I hated leaving Tecumseh because of her being next-door.  

I kept the lawn mowed and the shrubs trimmed for a couple years, but soon discovered it was too big of a job for me. Carolyn had contacted a lawn mowing service to mow regularly, which was a big help. After three years of staying in our home, I had a call from Kidron Bethel Retirement center saying they had a duplex available to look at. I visited the place and decided it would fill my needs. I was to let them know in a couple days and after talking to my family, we decided I should say yes.

It was September and plans were made for an auction. I contacted a mover and made arrangements for a moving date. The duplex was not only just across the back yard and shelter belt, but also just around the corner and down the street by car, so after my new residence was ready I began moving boxes of possessions. As I moved a carload, I carried it in and put it away. The movers came and loaded up furniture and the move went smoothly. I hired a lady to do a full clean of my house and I put it up for sale. Very soon we had a very interested buyer and the rest is history.

It was easy to adjust to retirement living and I realized I made a good decision. Not having the responsibility of keeping things in good shape was a relief. I have now lived here for thirteen years and enjoy my time here.  Learning to know new people and having good neighbors is all good.

Kidron Bethel has undergone a major remodeling and the new area is great. I have a few things I would change, but am satisfied with how things are.

It was Memorial Day, May 26, 2008, and a beautiful day outside. Orlando and I had built a second home in a new development called Campus Woods in North Newton and moved in 1992. He was proud of his property and kept it very tidy. That day we decided to finish the landscape area at the back of our property next to the shelter belt. We went to our neighbor Alco store to get several bags of mulch to start the project. We assembled the tools needed and wheeled the bags to the back of the lot. After several more trips to Alco to get the needed mulch, and after spreading it all on the area, we got the job finished.   

I heard the phone ringing and went in the screened porch to begin a conversation with daughter Cindy who lived in Peoria, Illinois at the time. Orlando had wheeled the tools to the garage to put away. After a little while I heard Orlando calling for me to come in the house as he was experiencing chest pains. I terminated the phone call and went in to find him in the recliner. He soon jumped up and dashed to the bathroom and threw up. When he returned he said, “You better call an ambulance as I’m having severe chest pains.” I made the call and in about ten minutes the ambulance arrived. By that time he had again dashed to the bathroom. By then the local policeman was at the door followed by the ambulance crew. Orlando had passed out in the small bathroom and landed in the corner partly against the door. The crew got him out and on a gurney in the garage. 

The men worked on him for a while and put him in the ambulance with the message they were taking him to a hospital in Wichita. Before they left he was not responding so they headed for Newton Medical Center. I closed up the house and followed in the car. I called Teresa and told her what was happening and soon she and Dennis and son Cade were there. She called Cindy to let her know where we were. Carolyn and Mark were called and headed our way from Salina, and arrived after Orlando had died.

Orlando was taken to an ER room and was examined by the doctor on call. By then friends Keith and Susan Rhoades and Teresa and family were waiting with me in a private waiting room. After some time Teresa and I were called back to the examining room and soon heard the doctor announce the time of death at 4:00 p.m. Teresa called Cindy and told her what had happened.

News soon circulated at the hospital what had happened and before long there was a table full of people at home where we all gathered. During the night Cindy and Sandra and family drove straight through and arrived.

The next day and many days after, the phone was often ringing and doorbell chiming as people heard the news. Plans were made for a memorial service and reality set in. The life of our family was changed forever.

My family consisted of six brothers and one sister, who all preceded me in death.

Ray was the oldest of the boys and was the first to die at age 60 in early January of 1982. He died suddenly in the elevator at the University of Minnesota in Mankato where he worked. He married Helen Ernst and was a hard working father of four children.

Brother Carlyle died in September of 1991 shortly after his retirement at the age of 65. He was married to Esther Bohn and had one natural born daughter and two adopted sons. He so looked forward to retirement, but was not given that opportunity.

Quentin died in early April, 1998. Quintin was married to Goldie Fast and they had one adopted daughter. He battled cancer for 13 years and enjoyed a final visit with his extended family the weekend before he died.

One of the twins, Lowell, died June 1, 2001, at his home at Kidron Bethel Retirement home in North Newton. The majority of his working years were spent in Denver, Colorado, following his 1-W alternative service. He spent many hours at the piano of various places for appreciative audiences. 

Sister Doris, the oldest of the siblings, died following a short illness in early February of 2005.  She was married to Sam Kaufman and they had one son. She was a loving homemaker for her family for many years. 

Brother Roy died in January, 2012, following heart surgery. He married Florence Cramolini and they never had children. He graduated from the University of Minnesota and Dunwoody Institute in Minneapolis. He was trained as a machinist and tool and die maker, and turned out many intricate, detailed things during his years as an instructor at Dunwoody.

Leslie, the other twin, passed away in 2018 following a fall and brain bleed. He married Ellen Stucky and they had two sons. He graduated from Bethel College in North Newton, Kansas, and sang at many occasions. He was a school teacher, creative writer of poetry, woodworker, and friend of many.

I have many good memories of these seven siblings who had varied abilities and talents.

My mother moved to Kansas in 1957—the same year I moved here. I  lived with her in a duplex owned by my brother Carlyle. After a fire there, she moved to a little cottage also owned by Carlyle. Once Orlando and I moved our family out of the house we were renting on 24th Street into our new home on 22nd Street, mother moved into the rental we vacated.

I called her every morning to check on her. One day she didn’t answer the phone so I went to her house to see what was going on. I found her on the bathroom floor and called her doctor to get her checked out. She was hospitalized and diagnosed as having an aneurysm. When she was dismissed, we moved her to our home. After living with us for about a year, she moved to Bethel Nursing Home. She lived there for about six months. One morning I received a phone call with the message that she was probably in the last hours of her life. I took the children next door to the neighbors and went to the nursing home.

I found her to be awake and more cheerful than I’d seen her for a long time. We visited a little bit, then I went back home to check on the kids. After picking them up, I drove in our garage and heard the phone ringing. It was the nursing home. Mom had just died. What a shock!

After getting this news, I started making the phone calls to notify my siblings of her death.

I phoned the funeral home and made arrangements for her body to be flown back to Freeman for her funeral and burial beside her husband.  I also phoned my home church and made arrangements for a time for the funeral.  

After the funeral at the full church, we had a meal and visited with many people.  All my siblings and their families were there, and I had arranged for a local photographer to take our picture.  Later after many shots, we found out he didn’t have any film in his camera.

The life of a wonderful mother and grandmother was now gone.

On May 18, 1959, Orlando and I were at the drive-in movies. I fell asleep during one movie and when I woke up and sat up, my water broke. We hurried home and got to our apartment. I took a shower and we called my doctor. He told us to come to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital in about an hour and I got in the hospital bed. Labor had started but I slept off and on. In the morning my doctor checked me and dilation was pretty low. Because my water broke, I was to stay in bed or sitting. The day progressed and not much was happening. By evening, pains were a little more frequent and dilation progressed. Finally at about 9:00 p.m. I was taken into the delivery room and about 24 hours after it all started, our baby girl, Teresa Lynn, was born. What a long day!

In August, about two and a half years later, I went to the hospital with the anticipation of another birth. Sister Marianna was the only nurse on the floor. I was in bed and my water broke. After getting reprimanded by this same nurse, we hurried on to the delivery room. In a couple hours it was evident that the baby was going to be born soon, without the doctor present. Sister Marianna was pretty upset with me and pushed on my belly to help keep the baby in. Finally the doctor showed up and soon Carolyn Anne made her arrival. She was in a little stressed but finally cried and her color changed.

When I was dismissed from the hospital I wasn’t greeted by little Teresa in a positive way. She wouldn’t talk to me or come close for a couple days. That soon changed and we were friends again.

In February of 1964 we made plans to move into our new home that we built. I knew that baby number 3 would be born soon. It was a sloppy day but we got everything moved and in place. When we were done about mid-evening I put the coffee pot on and we were about to sit down and have coffee and a piece of apple pie that our neighbor brought over. As soon as I sat down my labor pains came thick and fast. The plans changed and we went to my mother’s house to clean up and head for the hospital. The three girls were there, and we told Mother I was in labor.

I was worn out and after getting to the hospital so I went to bed. Except for a severe backache, was able to go to sleep. A helpful nurse rubbed my back and after a couple hours I woke up and it was time. After going to the delivery room it didn’t take long and Cynthia Jo was born.

In November of 1970 I had an appointment with my doctor, and since this baby was late I told him I was coming in with my suitcase and wasn’t going home. He broke my bag of waters and took me through the tunnel from the clinic to the hospital. My pains which had started now stopped and we were in a holding pattern over the noon hour. They labor paints started up around 1:00 and after an easy labor and birth, Sandra Kyle was born at about 4:30 p.m.

I hadn’t eaten all day and was very hungry.  The people in the kitchen fixed me a nice meal of pork chops and the fixings.  Boy, did that hit the spot!

Our family was now complete!

I met Orlando Goertzen at a community chorus in Newton, Kansas. We dated a while and married on August 8, 1958. We moved into a basement apartment in North Newton, and after college Orlando got a job at the Mennonite Press in North Newton.

In May of 1959, our first daughter Teresa Lynne, was born. During my pregnancy I continued working but after she was born I stayed home. When the General Conference had work I could do at home, I would help them out.

Teresa was a very content baby, slept well and if her tummy was full, she was happy. A great beginning for my first child.

On August 31, 1961, Carolyn Anne came on the scene. We needed more room, so we moved our family to a four-room house on 24th Street in North Newton. We put both girls in one room, and we had a bedroom, living room, kitchen, and bathroom. The house had a full, unfinished basement, so we had plenty of room. We had a garden area and a play swing in the side yard.

After a couple years of living there, we decided to have a house built a few blocks away on 22nd Street. On February 16, 1964, our third daughter, Cynthia Jo, was born. She basically arrived on moving day. We had a number of people help us move, and after a day was done we headed to the hospital. She was born shortly after midnight the next day.

Six years later, on November 12, 1970, Sandra Kyle was born so once again our bedrooms were full.

Four daughters, each very different from the others. Teresa was the studious one, loved to read, and as a young child was happy with a book in her hands.  Carolyn was a little more active, athletic, and a little more like a tomboy. Cindy was into singing, reading, and looking after her little sister. Sandra, also a singer, was vying for attention from whoever gave it to her. They have all grown up to be wonderful women and have found their places in the world.