Growing up

Iola, moran, and osawatomie

When I was born my older brother, Brad was not quite 14 months older than I.  Mom, Dad and Brad had been to the movies the night before and left early to go home since was was worn out from Brad crawling all over her during the movie.  They barely got to the farm north of Iola until they turned around to go back to Iola to the hospital to have me.

Before my brother Tom was born our family had moved to Moran, KS where Dad was part owner of the Chevrolet dealership.  He had already gotten a house in Osawatomie, KS and bought the Ford dealership to move his family after Tom was born.  The folks lived in the same house in Osawatomie for 17 years and all 3 of us kids graduated from Osawatomie High School.  Dad sold the dealership in the mid 60’s, but had different used car dealerships, farms, sold life insurance. aerial sprayed, ran cattle, and had his realtors license or combinations of work, for 15 years or so.

Funny moments

My long time friend, Terry, still loves to tell everybody this story!  We were in 4th grade in Mrs Carter’s class (actually where we met) and I had my desk top up to   comb my long hair before recess.  It was a rat tail comb and I twirled my bangs around and around it and couldn’t get it out!  I was panicky and as kids went out for recess I didn’t want anyone to see I did.  Dear Mrs Carter tried to help, but she said I would just have to wait and have my Mom help.  Well I was having none of that!  Terry watched me cut off my bangs and is still laughing 60 years later!    The next weekend when Mom washed my hair she pulled on those little ends and said “You have new hair growth” and I burst out crying leaving my Mom wondering why I was so upset.  I told her and cried more.  I didn’t get in trouble like I believed I would.  Guess what Terry did professioally as an adult.  Yep she had her own beauty salon.

 

I worked at Singer IGA in Iola, KS when I went to Jr College.  The owner lived in Arizona and Bob Huske was the manager.  I had been working a short time when Mr Singer came to visit the store.  I was a nervous 18 year old not wanting to do anything he might disapprove of.  I had rung up the customer’s groceries and was bagging them in the paper sacks we used at that time.  I picked up a package of bacon and was looking at the customer as I turned to put it in the bag.  I hit something solid at the top of the bag and turned to see what it was.  The owner was looking down into the bag to see how my sacking was and I had slapped him in the face!  We neither one said anything and he just walked away.

 

My friend Jenny and I were expecting our first babies 6 weeks apart.  It was a snowy day in November and I left work early to go to my prenatal Doctor’s appointment.  It ran late and I had been waiting to get a gift for Jenny’s baby when we knew if it was boy or girl.  I found out before I left work she had had a girl.  I had to go to the bank for money then accross the street for gas before I went to Macy’s then the hosptial to see the baby.  I pulled up to the gas station and it was still the days they pumped the gas for you, cleaned the windows, checked the tires, etc.  The attendent was on the phone in the office and no one else was getting gas or working there.  He waved like he was coming, but kept talking.  It was getting dark and snowing pretty good and I didn’t want our husband’s worrying if they got to the hospital before me.  I waddled towards the office and the attendent stuck his head out the door and motioned to the phone saying “My boss!”  I said , “Well tell your boss you have a pregnant lady on her way to the hospital!”  That attendent beat me to the car and was frantically filling the car up and asking if I could drive myself!  If I was okay!  Be careful!  He said his wife had had a baby recently.  When I got to the hospital, Jenny laughed and told me “Use it while you can!”  Our husbands did not think it was fair to scare the attendent.  I told them, “Well, I didn’t lie!”

 

My brother Brad was a real jokester (as was Dad) and played a trick on my mother, me and a guy who wanted a date with me.  Steve was from Paola which was our rival town for Osawatomie.  He had been introduced to me once and wanted to ask me out on a date.  He asked Brad what his sister’s name is and Brad told him Mary.  So Steve called and asked my Mom out!  She realized what had happened and got me to the phone.  Steve and I went to the PlaMart in Paola for a dance.  A guy from Paola came over to talk to us and Steve introduced me as Brad’s sister.  At first the guy didn’t believe Steve, but he looked closely and scanned my face and said, “Yeah!  I see she has the bushy eyebrows like Brad!”  Just what a teenage girl wants to hear!

 

Another night at the dance in PlaMart a dance had finished and everyone was visiting and whoever I had just danced with didn’t know I was Brad’s sister.  He introduced me by my first name (probably didn’t know my last name) and another guy in the group asked Bill about his taped up nose.  The conversation turned to how Bill’s nose got broken and it was my brother Brad who had broke it.  It got quiet as ones in the group realized I was Brad’s sister!

 

 

hobbies

I have always loved books! I love to see them in a case, touch them, look at the pictures and read them. I can spend all day in a book store and forget to go to eat. I can look at the magazines, puzzles, games and people watch. This has not changed, but over the last 12 years, I have gone more to reading on my tablet or listening to books. Buying them, storing them and carrying sacks full home has become too cumbersome.

I learned to knit when I was in grade school and still like doing that occasionally. I love to look at the patterns and dream. My favorite things to knit if I were to choose now are baby clothes, socks and dish clothes. I have made sweaters, scarfs, hats, Christmas stockings, vests pillows and many other things.

I like to walk, but that is harder for me than it used to be now. I played softball one summer as a preteen and I was HORRIBLE. I played volleyball in gym, but we didn’t have a team at my school. I had an average in bowling the mid 160’s on my college league, but the only trophy I ever got was Most Improved Average my first year in grade school–it improved a whooping 13 pins!

August 8 1989 Time overcame adversity The desicion to make that jpurney immigration to the USA

In 1988 Gorbachev open the door for Jews who want to leave USSR with Israeli visa to go to Israel.

We recei’d invitation from Israel.

Gaining visas to depart Soviet Union was.t easy even when we obtained our visas we know that we could be revoked at any time.

Escape at this time was considered madness

four months later we stood in the border patrol with american dollar $90 per person for 4 people we have $360 dollards

so soviets authority remove our citienship , so we displace people to apply for a refugee status

 

We left Gomel on August 8 , 1989 by train Gomel- Brest

The train originaly from Moskov capital of USSR  , Misha( my husband brother ) and Vitalik ( my cousin )were attending University in Moskov, they secure our seats on the train from Moskov to Gomel.

Othervise , even you bought tikets the cassiri on the railway register could resold you tickets to somebody else

Syingo, we say goodbye to a lot of friends and relatives on Realroad station in Gomel wa really hard

My parents and Venyas ‘parens along with Galya , Misha, Vitalik, Naum, Benka and Lenya Shmidov and Sasha Izrailey  went with us on the same train to Brest our last stop on the mother land .

Next morning our train stop in Brest .

All our  8 suitcases was check on the gates and security point its took few ours because they open all our beloning and went throuth all our staff which is mostly closing for our kids for different weather ceson , because we don’t know were will be arrive and if well be grant  permission to USA.

while a snstom officer upterned our carefully packed suitcases because we were traitors

Say good bay to our parent s, siblings and relatives was extremly diffucult , At this moment we did’t  know if we wiil able to see them again and when .

So we says good buy with heavy hearts

Our 1 st stop is Vienna Austria were processed new immigrant heading to Israel

Those who sought immigration to the USA like us were sent to avait permisson from the American  autorities

The border police  waited on the platform

Representative from HiAS ORGANIZATION meet as at realroad in venna

we have 2 interview with USa consulat and present our story why we left soviet union We were waited for paper work 4 weeks

after our paper approve we were at another train from vienna to rome italy

They place as to refugee camp in Ostia italy cal  castelfusano a summer retreat outside of Rome was a temporary hoising for jewish refugee

We spent 2 months waiting for our official invitation.

Not knoing where we would end up or what would happen was truly frightening

 

 

 

Funny Moments

• Tell us a story that seems to come up at a dinner with new friends.
• Tell us a story that frequently comes up at family gatherings.
• Tell us a story that makes you chuckle about yourself.
• Share something funny that your kid(s) did when they were young.

MY CORE BELIEFS

• What beliefs were handed down from your parents/grandparents?
• What beliefs have you tried to instill in your children?
• What values do you hold dear?
• If you were to start the sentence, “I believe…” how would you end it?

 

The Pipe Tree (Pipke Baum)

I am totally mystified by the name “Tobacco Pipe Tree” (or Pipke Baum).  From afar, one cannot discern a pipe but rather the chin of an elephant, and I would have named it “The Elephant Tree”.  One can see that from the chin, the snout stretches out and there are the two eyes, one on each side, and it is indeed like a real elephant.  However, as I’m neither the owner of the forest nor of its trees, I cannot change the world.  And as everyone knows it as the Pip Tree, so I too must conform and call it that.

It is located at the end of a densely wooded forest in Titezvian.  Every summer, women with small children, the elderly and some young boys and girls, mostly high school pupils streamed to this village, known as Tituvenai in Lithuania.  They came to relax, breath in the clear, fresh air and get away from the turmoil of the town and daily concerns.  Most are there on duchy from the surrounding villages and towns and also from all the corners of the country.  They come because it is the most thickly wooded forest, the most common trees being pine and there are forest all around, abut in the middle of this one is a huge lake, known as “Bridvaisto”.  Young and old come here to bathe, when the heat is at its height, to invigorate and refresh the body and soul, to soak oneself in the velvety waters of the lake, take a boat or swim to the other end of the lake.

Music is often heard there and people singing all kinds of Yiddish songs.  Some sit around in the shade on the edge of the lake; elderly couples play chess or dominos or lotto.  There is also a game of cards involving small boxes in each of which is marked a certain number.  In a bag, there are many wooden titles on each side of which is a number.  Whoever draws out the same number as that appearing on his card, puts up a stake.

The young couples rarely sit at the edge of the forest, they go out to swim with a boat or go deep into the woods, each with his own age group or friends, and according to his particular interests.  But the Pipe Tree does not differentiate between people.  It is a place for a rendezvous between couples, and also for the elderly to take a rest.  It has long and wide wings that spread out all around over the large area.

“Why is the tree actually called the “Pipe Tree”, I ventured to ask a Tzitieviane resident.

“Well, you see, you only come here in the summer.  But when one approaches the tree in the fall or the spring, when the sun warms the tree somewhat after a rain, one can see a sort of smoke rising from its mouth and the impression is as of someone smoking a long pipe.  It’s several hundred years old and is no longer a young tree; it smokes like in years gone by and that’s how it got its name.”

“How do you know this?”

“My grandmother told me and she remembers the name from her childhood.”

Young men would cut off pieces of bark from aged pine trees and from these cut out little ships, small houses and other interesting toys for small children to play with and float on the waters.  On the stumps of trees and even on the trees themselves they would make inscriptions and other signs.  The Pipe Tree had no such bad luck.  It was holy to all.  Nothing was cut or torn from it, no hammock was strung from it, it served as a symbol, a sort of museum piece.  Whoever wants to have a souvenir of the Tsitvianer duchy, will invariably take a photo with the tree.  The place occupied by the Pipe Tree cannot be passed by with indifference; one cannot but stop and look at it from all sides and drink in the pleasure of such a sight.

And who are those who await impatiently the arrival of the owners of the duchies?  More than anyone, of course, the peasants and the owners of the surrounding houses, set out lengthwise in the forest.  Here, in the summer holiday area, shops open up in the summer for the purchase of small necessities, restaurants where one an order a lunch or take a bit on the spot or a take-away meal, or an inn where one can sleep overnight.  And how can one possibly pass the summer without ice-cream?

The smart tradespeople are not asleep.  From early morning to late at night there are wagons laden with two kettledrums filled with ice.  In the one, there is white ice-cream and in the other fruit ice-cream.  The tradesman puts a waffle inside a tiny cone and and with a spoon adds the ice-cream, and on top of that another waffle, pushes a lever at the bottom and the portion rises to the top.  The holiday makers called this simply “Morazena”.

The owners of the small houses rent them out to the Jewish holiday-makers, or only some of them, for the whole summer season, and they themselves move out into the courtyard or the barn of the summer kitchen.  This gives these tradespeople a chance to sell their food products locally instead of having to travel to the surrounding villages to do so.  This too makes their products available more cheaply  Here the holiday-makers are one kilometer away from the shtetl of Tzitavien, where there ae also food stores.  And this is where they make their small purchases of salt, sugar, matches, etc. which are not sold by the locals.  the local products, including dairy products such as cheese, butter, eggs, vegetables and fruit are quite fresh.  The regular customers receive milk just after the cows are milked and it is still warm.

Local stores mainly supply the local inhabitants.  The meat consumers buy live chickens from the locals and a shochet slaughters these; or else the men bring home for shabbat ready koshered meat or fish.  These had to be eaten when still fresh, since no refrigeration existed then only cellars where perishable food could be kept for only a day or two.  Dairy foods were kept in a deep well in a special bucket milk, butter and cream were lowered with a thick string up to the surface edge of the water.  But such deep wells were few and not adequate for the needs of the summer holiday folk.  the snag was that these products could not be kept in the wells for any length of time.  this method was complicated by the fact that each time water was required, the food had to be removed before the water could be drawn out.

The holiday folk spent as little time as possible in their houses – eat breakfast, lunch or supper land off to the woods.  The older folks to the hammocks, the younger would wander around in the woods, play ball games or enjoy the lake.  Those who spent the most time in the houses were the Jewish mothers and grandmothers.  Indeed, they came to the duchies especially to prepare meals for their children and grandchildren, to care for their physical comfort and see that they were well-fed, rested and invigorated for the fresh air.  They were seldom to be found in the hammocks.

The Jews were no disturbance to the local Lithuanian population; on the contrary, the contact was mutually advantageous.  The residents gained from it and were never the losers.  Those who wished to be free of the chore of cooking lunch, would order meals in advance for a month or even a season from the “pensions” according to choice or take.  Naturally, the food was always kosher and each pension had its own particular menu.

During the day, a dead silence reigned in the streets, broken only at lunch time by the clatter of knives, forks and plates.  Voices rose up out of the woods.  the healthy ones went deep into the woods, where it was cooler and the sun did not filter through.  But in the colder air of the evening, everything changed.  The chirping of birds wafted in from the woods and the streets were filled with the clamor of human pleasure-seekers.  Here and there a musician was playing or records would twang out Yiddish melodies or music.  At the end of the village center there was a large hall.  In the evenings, both inside and outside this hall crowds gathered mainly of young people.  They came not only to dance, but to hear some gay and lively music, and old tango or a modern foxtrot.  As there was no room to dance a waltz inside, the couples danced in the street.  and many young couples drifted to the street on the edge of the woods, opposite the hall and danced there.  The music from the hall was loud and clear, especially when there was a band.  The older folk strolled nearby breathing in the clear forest air of Yadle and Sasne and enjoying the Jewish music.

Another area was also not deserted at night.  This was around the Pipke Tree.  Ripples of laughter could be heard coming from there and the tree was the only living witness to the number of kisses that materialized beneath its branches before the dawn.  The tree was proud to be so honored.  But he was usually silent guarding everyone’s secret.  In the rain, couples also found shelter under it.  He would cover his guests with his large broad wings keeping the rain away from them.

The “Pipke Tree” was not only a human guardian.  On the edge of its branches was a plaited basket of hay and straw.  He no longer remembered how long this basket had nestled on his branches nor how it was created.  But every year, as soon as the snow had melted and the air was warmer, two storks would come here and take over until the end of the summer.  They too came here on “duchy”, as a couple – man and wife, and at summer’s end, they would fly away with their children, a whole family.  Every year without fail.

They said that a stork brings luck.  No doubt this was why after many meetings under this tree, new families came into being.  The storks were accustomed to people, and neither disturbed the other.  And what’s more, the humans often took to watching the storks while the storks from atop the tree had a good view of what the humans were doing below.  Their way of co-existence served as a model for the people.  The tree had a sort of influence on living peace and friendship.  Under his branches, there never was heard a cry even from little children.

He was surrounded by a green satin carpet, decorated with long and short green and grey cones, and the long Yodle and Sosne pine needles.  Rolling about on this carpet could hardly be called “rolling about” since it was considered to be holy ground.  Religious youngsters and even older Jews were wont to stand and pray the afternoon prayers next to the Pipke Tree, refusing to seek out any other place for this purpose.  The tree was evidently also pleased with these prayers.

In the Tzitevner Forest.  First on the right (standing) Zalman Yalowetzky, murdered by teh Lithuanians shortly before teh invasion by the German army.  Next to him, his wife, Reizel, and the author’s parents.  Seated (from right to left) Mula Yalowetzky, Chaya (Irene) Hayat and the writer – 193).

Once, close to the outbreak of WWII, we all noticed an unusual phenomenon.  The first to observe this was my friend Menashe from Rakishok, whom we met here every summer.

“Take a look, Davidke, tears are falling from the elephant’s eyes.  It’s a bad omen, don’t you think?  The tree is crying for the first time, and this bodes ill.”

This was in the summer of 1940, the last duchy season for Lithuanian Jewry.

“What a prophet you think you are,” I tried to say soothingly.  But I felt a heaviness in my heart, as a looked searchingly at the tree in the hope that he had erred.  Unfortunately, this was no mistake.  Tears were indeed streaming down the tree.  I realized that this was no normal occurrence.  And this was the year of the Soviet occupation, the beginning of the nationalization of factories and large businesses, land reform and the so-called collectivization of land workers.  Rich peasants, the wealthy, merchants and former party activists were imprisoned.

The holidaying in Tsitevian came to a halt, and it became quiet and deserted.  The visitors had been Jews of all walks of life – rich and poor, workmen and merchants, teachers and students, employees and the self-employed.  The truly wealthy would take their relaxation in Palanga, Birshtan, Druskenink or Nida, but here was the choice for rest mainly for the middle-classes.  But for them, too, all this had dome to an end, as had indeed Jewish community life in Lithuania.

…Now, a good fifty years had flown by.  I had never forgotten the Pipke Tree.  When I prepared myself to leave for Eretz Israel, I turned to my relative, Shmuel Yalowetzki, who had by chance survived the war and was living in Vilna, to accompany me to once familiar places in the country.  he agreed, and we made a trip in his car to many towns.  So how could we overlook Tzitevian, where we had spent so many summers together.  And once there, we couldn’t miss a visit to the Pipke Tree.  It took us some time to find it, and I had almost given up hope of doing so, fearing it had been destroyed.  But after some searching, we finally traced it – surrounded by trees and bushes, instead of a green carpet of moss and pine needles.  There were no signs of the numerous paths leading up to the tree all around.  None of these were left, nor was there for whom.  No one is taking any interest in the past.  Nettles have taken over the surrounding area.  We asked one of the locals if he remembered the nest of storks at one end of the woods.  He replied that he couldn’t recall seeing any storks there.  We could hardly recognize the tree itself, it was so overgrown with moss.

We also went to take a look at the lake nearby.  But there is no longer a pier, nor any boats, nor indeed the people whom these might serve, since not a single Jew there was left alive, they were all slaughtered.  The Lithuanian murderers dragged out every last one of them from their hiding refugees in the woods and killed them.

We went back a second time to take leave of the tree.  It looked sadly at us and was silent.  From its long nose issued a sort of smoke, as if here smoking a pipe and from his eyes tears rolled down.  Was he crying for all the sad post-war years, or only because we met again after such a long time is hard to tell.  No one had paid any attention to his condition.  Only Shmuel and I understood him well as an old devoted friend.

Again, I felt a shudder passing over my body.  It seemed to me that he focused his right eye on me.  Beneath his eyes, horizontally down his trunk to the ground, a wet streak was visible.  Round about him there was no sign of human footsteps.  His branches had thinned out, there was a deathly silence.  No more laughter, no more crying, no core couples – it saddened the tree.  For the first time, I understood that trees could not only be happy with people but could mourn with them.  They are more silent than………………………….  . Goodbye, you Pipke Tree.  Though your roots are in Lithuanian soil, here in the Holy Land, I shall never forget you.

If only you could speak, Pipke Tree, you would have much to tell.  how the men from the surrounding villages would travel every Friday to their families for the Sabbath, among them my late father.  On Friday, straight after lunch, he would finish his work, go to his friend, the wagon driver, borrow a horse and cart and ride to Tzitevian.  This was about 15 kilometers from Reissin.  And if, God forbid, he should be delayed or receive the horse later than expected, he would use his whip to hasten the creature:

“Hurry, hurry my little horse, Shabbat is fast approaching.”

And the poor horse would give off a steam as if he had an oven under his skin; he had to run fast all the way, fearing the lash of the whip.

When they reached the shtetl of Shidlove, passing through it was already half-way – 8 km. from Reissin.  If I happened to be home at that time, my father would take me with him.

My two sisters, Chaya and Chana and my younger brother, Himon, would spend two summer months with mother.  The air is cool and fine and was only bad if it rained, when you could be soaked to the skin, since to go with an umbrella was no joy.  But rain was rare.  Mostly the weather was mild and to go in a horse and cart was a pleasure.

A small wood flashes past with the delicious scent of pine trees and moss.  The view changes rapidly and you soon come to the gardens and meadows and orchards, while the telephone pylons with tightly drawn wires accompany you all the way with an incomprehensible tune.

“My son, look at the windows of the houses to see if the Shabbes candles have already been lit,” my father asked of me.  He himself doesn’t have a chance to turn his head in that direction, since he must keep his eyes looking ahead, but he must be careful not to enter the town on the Sabbath but arrive on time.  There are many Jews in Shidlove, and naturally they light candles on Sabbath eve.  The distance to our destination is still substantial, but Thank God, all is calculated.  My father even has the time to take the horse to our peasant friend, Budzineiskas, where he will spend the Sabbath and be well fed and rested.  The wagon owner gave ample oats and hay to feed the horse, and if not, the peasant would supplement with his own.  Upon arrival, my father wipes the sweat off the horse with a cloth before handing him over to the peasant.  Each time my father would bring the man a present.