When I get the opportunity to lead a session on The Chosen, I tend to pull nuggets from the episode – lines that I find somewhat profound and thought-provoking (although not always scriptural-based or even significant aspects of the plot). In episode 7, there were several, in no particular order:
“Why would he wish that for someone like me?”
“Sometimes God sends a dove. Matthew, that man was your dove.”
“I want to understand things, Mary. Especially the inscrutable things that unsettle me.”
“Bones will still break. Hearts will still break…You could still have lost a baby when you were a fisherman. You just wouldn’t have anybody to turn to.”
“He said it all depends on you.”
“I know you have felt unworthy. Matthew, I know you have felt unworthy…”
“Our lives are often painful, yes? So we think that life is full of scarcity, not abundance. But there are times, when out of nowhere, the world expresses it’s longing to be whole. And suddenly God steps in. And we are called out of our blindness and into redemption.”
“Why would he wish that for someone like me?”
(In Episode 7, Matthew was wondering why an old man gave him his most valuable possession, even though Matthew had turned against his people by enriching himself and becoming a tax collector.)
A few years ago, Alex invited me to join a group of his friends to Man Up, a men’s retreat in northern Michigan sponsored by our church. I felt similarly fortunate as I do today, surrounded by a bunch of cool young men pursuing their faith. At an evening session, a brief demonstration of our relationship to God was shown that has stuck with me. One guy stood on one end of the stage, facing the other with his arms extended, to show God’s posture to us – always there, always ready and eager to accept us – but allowing us to choose. On the other end of the stage, another guy depicted us and showed the choices we have – we can face God, face away from God, walk toward God, etc.
To me, when we feel unworthy, it’s kind of like looking down. We would like to look at God and walk toward him. But we know we’ve screwed up, and we can’t muster up the gumption to look at God, let alone take the first step. We feel that “life is full of scarcity, not abundance”. We think, why would God want to have a relationship with someone like me?
Once we get past that, we can look at God, walk toward him, and embrace Him. Pretty cool spot to be, God holding you, you holding God, your shoulders drop. Free for everybody, no charge. God continues hugging us and turns us so we can hug others at the same time. Even better.
Often, I try to remind the folks of While Flag how great I think they are, and how great I think God thinks they are. Young men, raising families, pursuing careers, helping their communities, and taking time to learn about “the inscrutable things in life” that are hard to understand.
That’s the image I hope to convey to my kids and their kids. I’d like to love them enough that they feel secure enough to love others. Also pretty cool.
But there are times, when out of nowhere, the world expresses it’s longing to be whole. And suddenly God steps in.
By doing this, I hope it’s like the movie Pay It Forward. We help each other feel secure so that we can share the same with others. And no one misses the chance to hug God because they feel they’ve messed up. And if we do it well enough, “…the world expresses it’s longing to be whole…and we are called out of blindness and into redemption.”
That’s why I frequently remind this wonderful group of young men, taking the time at 6:30 am on a Tuesday to figure out the inscrutable things that unsettle us, that they are enough, and they are deserving of God’s love.
When I was a senior at KU, I met with the leader of KU’s Campus Crusade for Christ. I was the president of my fraternity, and he was meeting with leaders on campus. An image he shared one day, under a tree, stayed with me (and Alex used it once as a guest sermon in his church).
The image is a wheel with four spokes, labeled mental, physical, spiritual, and social. The idea is that we need balance in our life. It also points out that you can have too much of anything. We can probably relate to time when we or our friends have had too much mental in their life (working so much that you’re miserable); or social in your life (happened frequently in college); or too much concern about our physical nature (as depicted on about everything on TV). We may not realize that our spiritual spoke can also be too long and throw our wheel out of kilter. We’ve met, and so did Jesus, people who’ve emphasized religion to the point that it has thrown their lives out of balance.
Sometimes, a White Flag member will express regret for not being religious enough, which of course could be true. It also could be true, that this young gentleman is doing a pretty good job of balancing his family, faith, friends and health, and that God is proud of him.
“Bones will still break. Hearts will still break.”
One guy I didn’t hug enough. Craig, one of my best friends, took his life when we were just starting families. Great guy. Loved God, loved others. Maybe didn’t love himself as much as he should. If I had it to do over again, I’d have hugged that guy every day so that he would know I thought he was wonderful. I’m going to try to not make that mistake again.
In Episode 7, Simon lost an unborn child, almost lost his wife, and found he and his wife may not be able to have children, all while Simon was spreading the word of God. He tries to say life was easier when he fished. John reminded him that Jesus didn’t tell them things would be easy just because we follow God, and said, “You could still have lost a baby when you were a fisherman. You just wouldn’t have anybody to turn to.” When bones break and hearts break, we need to try to remember that.
“Sometimes, God sends a dove. Matthew, that man was your dove.”
For the record, I think my son in law Jake may lead the league in chatting with people about God in a relaxed, non-confrontational way. Ben leads in numerous ways, including carrying a $20 in his car and knowing the perfect words to say when giving it to someone he doesn’t know. I think I stink at both. I wish I was better.
So, when Jake reached out to me six years ago and said Ben was starting a Tuesday morning Bible study and asked me to join, I said I was in. I was not as close to God at that point as I would like to be. I attended for a year or so and loved every minute of it. Then I got pulled away by the normal things, job, family, other stuff, and fell out of the habit. For three years. Jake would ask when I was coming back. Drew would take me to lunch and ask when I was coming back. I continued to follow the updates on Group Me, but I had fallen out of the habit in attending. Then Ben sent out a note saying that Jake was going to be leading an episode of The Chosen. Jake and I chatted about it while grilling burgers. He asked me to come. No way I was saying no. I think I’m up to 2-3 years straight (mostly) since then. “Sometimes God sends a dove…”
“I know you have felt unworthy. Matthew, I know you have felt unworthy…”
I think the part I like about this best is the way Mary said this to Matthew twice. He heard her the first time, but he really heard her the second time. And he knew she was right, and he knew this was his biggest obstacle from getting close to God.
This is why I continue to give verbal, and sometimes literal, hugs to the men of White Flag. Because when we feel unworthy, it’s hard on us and our ability to love others. I want you to know that I love you and God loves you enough that you can drop your shoulders. And receive God’s love. And share it with others.
And thanks for sharing your Tuesday mornings with me.
– John Resnik
