Adrienne Russ

Miles and I met at 15 and 16.We married at 22 & 23.

We have always had a wonderful, GROWING relationship…we have had our ups and downs, as everyone but so far so good!

Neither of us ponder a long time. We bought our Highland Park home quickly and made it “OUR” own over 48 years (so far)!

We bought our condo in Florida also quickly , they are just places.

We shared the responsibilities of our home and working…though Miles retired very early.

Miles was VERY successful in the Allstate insurance business, won every trip and we traveled all over with Allstate, they gave VERY elaborate parties & gifts on these trips. It was clear Miles was very well thought of and newer agents told me they are always told to” do what Miles does”& you will be succesful!

We also traveled on our own to beautiful resorts and wonderful trips CRUISES, THOUGH WE AREN’T BIG FANS OF CRUSIES, LAND TRIPS CHINA, SOUTEAST ASIA,RUSSIA,BERLIN, FRANCE ,TURKEY,GREECE,MEXICO, AUSTRIALA,NEW ZEALAND, AMSTERDAMN,SPAIN ,CANADA, IRELAND, LONDON UK, AND many more . My theory was “travel as often as you can, the best way you can, as fast as you can.

Miles always bought me lovely things, jewelry, purses clothes etc. On our 40th anniversary I was shocked to receive a big beautiful ring!  Never dreamed of this…however it came with a wonderful letter reminiscing through the years, so beautifully written, and ended with telling me he wouldn’t be where he is if it wasn’t for me…(that would have been enough), But I really enjoy my beautiful ring…. lucky me!  Actually Miles did take a little prodding and pushing through the years.!

 

 

One that really stands out is the Rosh Hashanahs we had until the pandemic of covid 19 in 2020.

We started about 45 years ago , 1976, with just OUR immediate family, probably 10 people. My parents, Ginger, David, Rachael & Eddie.  My parents would come in from Florida a few days early to help get things ready. I loved doing the flowers thru the years and I felt so accomplished when everyone commented, we used 3 sets of China, silverware, and linen napkins. I made everything…Challahs, chicken salad, noodle kugel, poached salmon, potato pancakes , vegetables &  fruit & all the desserts! Everything had to be easy to eat, no cutting, as we now had a lot of people and everyone sat around, holding their plates in their laps. Dad & I loved the planning & creativity, and always kept in mind we were creating a “memory for our children” of how beautiful we as a Jewish family celebrate one of our holiest of holidays, in the most warm and beautiful way possible, as a family, with dear friends old and new.

Through the years the extended family was invited along with many friends , ours friends and Lauren and Allison’s it grew each year as our Rosh Hashanah open house lunch. Dad and I loved having our family and dear friends and their parents with us in our home.! Pretty soon Jacob was here in 2001! It was especially fun to share with the next generation, Zach made it complete.

As the elders left us the younger generation came with their Baby’s. It was especially a treat,  when the children of the children got to be 3ish  many of their parents bragged to them how they played on the” hop scotch bright colorful carpeting” (cleaned of course many many times) in basement . It occurred to me that, along with importance of the holiday celebration of our New Year, that  if we wanted our grandchildren to be happy  we need THEIR friends! So Jacob and when Zachary came along, they each invited 2 or 3 families, Jewish or not! We sent out a lunch invite and it came from, Miles, Addie ,Allison ,Lauren, Mike ,Jacob and Zachary! It was  a treat for so many years looking out and seeing 8 or 9 boys tossing the ball around while the girls, played with the doll house built for Lauren and shared by Allison and Rachael! By then we were  having much of the holiday catered, though I still made the desserts and kugel. This grew and We cherished each year until the pandemic of Covid-19. In 2020, we only had Us, David & Ginger Rachael & Steve, Serena and Celeste. We put both boards in our table and socially distanced as much as possible. It occurred to me we are almost right back where we started…just immediate family. It also occurred to me that now WE are the elders! Today is July 1, 2021…. not sure what will become of our Rosh Hashanah soiree!

Part of those memories were Allison’s college graduation, Lauren and Mikes engagement . The years Jacob asked to come early to be part of the set-up! Thank you Jacob!

Jacobs Bar Mitzvah was an extraordinary event. Jacob was wonderful, Lauren and Mike planned every detail from the English, Spanish service to everything one could do!

One of the highlights for me was making the beautiful Challahs with Jacob, we battered a little but it gave me enormous pleasure, to do this for both of our grandsons

People will always remember that service with the Rabbi and Cantor participating in the duel language!.

Zachary’s Bar Mitzvah May 2,2020 was cancelled COVID 2020 ,just days after the beautiful invites were received. Zachary wasn’t really upset, but Lauren and Mike were…..we finally had the service July 11,2020 at North Shore congregation, Lauren made masks saying Zachary’s corona virus bar mitzvah..a small party followed at their house and Zach said it was the best party ever!

.Zach did all well but….

Zach gave me a gift…no one else could . Zach’s speech was about carrying my fathers name Emmanuel which is Zach’s middle name. He hit everything on the head and realizes that living up to my Dads reputation as the “kindest, sweetest man in the world” , thinking of others, is a gift God gave Zach . Also My Dad only liked coconut and Mint….Zach also! Thank you Zach!

Both Jacob and Zachary wore the telilis  we all bought together on our wonderful trip to Israel when Jacob was bar mitzvah on Masada.  Quite a moment in time. Jacob did excellent and we were all very proud.

Another highlight was our family trip to Italy in 2019. Our hope is that these trips & exposure to other places will encourage Jacob and Zachary to “see the world”.

We hope these memories will be “happy memories”  Jacob and Zachary with remember fondly and will share with their children!

I must add I was SO happy to pick J&Z up separately from pre-school every Wednesday…Jacob and I played “spy the red truck”, of course he always won!

Zachary sang to me all the way home “small world”, though I could NOT look at him in the rear view mirror! Zach also insisted on driving through McDonalds to get French fries, which HE never once ate! I just loved this time with both!

I must say Lauren and Allison gave me (us    FANTASTIC moments from the beautiful speeches made at all the beautiful birthday parties Miles, Lauren and

Allison gave me through the years to the things they wrote. Allison found a tablet where my mother & father wrote about their life. Allison bound it and called it Dad and Me Lovingly Papa and Nonnie! Its a treasure!

I will include it at the very end of this. Blessings on your heads, LAUREN AND ALLISON FOR BEING SO WONDERFUL TO MY PARENTS, I know you prolonged their life! Lauren and my mom were on the same page, they adored each other….Allison and my Dad were connected in a way few people are lucky enough to experience!

I love to Bake and hope I keep improving through time. I always baked with Jacob when he was little, it was a special time. Jacob and I made the Challahs together for his bar mitzvah . I am very proud I was able to make both their Challahs for their Bar Mitzvahs. Jacob helped with his and Zach didn’t want any part of baking, only eating.

While my boys aren’t big sweet eaters  I hope they will remember how hard I tried to make what they liked. My family and friends enjoy whatever I bake.

The secret to “the Kugel” is all heavy cream! DON’T TELL!

My parents were good people ….My Dad worked hard , the best way he could. My Mother had a lot of common sense but seemed to be stifled, perhaps by the depression coming from seeing my Brother  deteriorate through the years, some emotional problems they had no idea how to treat…Ben lived away often in a hospital or home it was extremely painful for me & somewhere along the line I closed it out since I couldn’t help.. My parents weren’t wordily and did the best they could. I did not get my work ethic from my Mother…My aunt Addi had alot of money and knew the finer things in life, I watched and learned that from an early age., but it was my Aunt Mae who paved the way for me to do everything I could, in my lifetime Aunt Mae reinvented herself numerous time in numerous business’s all successful & Aunt Mae who I loved and admired dearly, showed me that I could also reinvent my self! She encouraged me and loved me and I was so proud of her. My mother was Generous to all and My Dad was literally the “Sweetest man in the world”. Zachary is really like my Dad carries my dads name. Zach wrote his Bar Mitzvah speech about the responsibility of carrying the name “Emmanuel” and clearly understands those attributes’  . I am proud to say Jacob reflects my parents kindness and sweetness…

My cousins on my Mothers side have always been like siblings to me and treated my like I was “one of them” thereby forfilling the sibling I would never have. We had and have wonderful times and they are ones I am most grateful for in my life. My dads side were a cooler bunch though eventually we became close to my Fathers sisters Daughter and son-in-law, who we loved and who left us early Marv at 83 Muriel with a form of dementa.

My bother has lived in a nursing home since 2004. Miles is wonderful about seeing him which we did every two weeks, until we went to Florida. He is the kindest nicest person and always appreciate whenever we come. Lauren Mike and Allison have been very good to him. Jacob and Zachary don’t know him only of him and pictures. Since My brother lives in a home for emotional and mental problems I never wanted to expose them to that sadness and for children the creepiness’.  We tried to bring my brother to Lauren and Mikes when the boys were younger but he always backed out at the last minute. I never brought too many pictures a I was fearful someone there would cause a problem. Ben was very talented, he could sing he did wonderful art work and wrote poems, while always sure he was going to Broadway! He is always smiling and a favorite of everyone there!

****I want to say my parents and my mother-in-law, though we never referred to her that way, were all good smart wonderful people( my father-in law passed away 9 months before were were married) . Inspite of coming from totally different places they DECIDED to make it work! This gave us all the very best chance for happiness independently and together. Even Gingers parents were included and at the end only My dad and Gingers mother were here. Dad in DelRay and Mary in Sarasota, talked every Sunday two people from diverse backgrounds forged their friendship. This CAME ABOUT for a most important reason…THEY ALL STAYED “WITH THEIR OWN”, NOT RELIGOUS-WISE BUT MORE IMPORTANT, VALUE-WISE! They counted how they were alike not how they were different.

I was always happy to be Jewish, except at Christmas when I wanted a Christmas tree!

I have to say I took it for granite since mostly everyone I associated with was Jewish. I am very spiritual, I definitely believe and try and live the best life I can with the best values. I believe we are watched from above, I do not believe in a judgement day , I think if we  keep the faith we are being judging by ourselves, and if we are not proud of ourselves then we are not a good person, or a  good citizen . That would be deflating and hard to live with, since we all make a contribution good or bad…I want to make a “good” contribution. I do pray and ask for guidance and that helps me believe it can be achieved! If I am doing something and its not going my way then I have to stop and wonder…is this a message that I should move on, or do I just need another approach

My grand parents on both sides came from Lithuania, which eventually became part of Russia and then in the 1900’s became an independent state. My  parents were born in Chicago. I remember hearing my Dad say when his parents came to Chicago they were given a small piece of land , we now know as Milwaukee and Route 22 in Prairie view. After a while it was too hard to see their family who lived on the west side of Chicago traveling by horse and buggy and simply walked away from their dry goods store and moved near the rest of their family…It is now property worth many,many millions, talk about “Family” being the most important thing!.

I don’t remember too many stories. I remember my Dads parents and My Moms Dad, all died when I was very young. My mothers Mother lived until about 1970…”Grandma Bessie from Chicago”!  Allison looks very much like her, short, dark hair and still signs all her cards Allison Russ “the favorite”!

Always brings a smile to my face!

My biggest accomplishment is our marriage, a “work in progress” even at 55 years of marriage and onward &  raising two seemly different children!

Both were a challenge in their own way, causing Dad and I many sleepless nights and questioning if we were doing the best we could.

I always had a business. Simultaneously I was room mother for Lauren and Allison,, brownie leader ,I did volunteer work at the University of Chicago, and we entertained a lot & I did selling or bookwork in Dads business 1 day a week. I was under the impression everyone did this!

One of my happiest memories was when Lauren was an infant. On Thursday nights I would get a babysitter , (Nancy who came a few times a week while I was at University of Chicago, Mothers aid gift shop, Ort meeting , or had an activity) ! I would take a cab to Belmont & Central work with Dad until closing 9:30. Then Dad and I would go out to dinner, often at Sabatinos on Irving Park road. Who could have know when Lauren& Mike moved to the area, Sabatinos would still be an excellent restaurant, and we’d spend many occasions there, like when Lauren announced she was pregnant the first and second time!

 

First I had the flower business then the wearable Art (coats)  both creative and relaxing to me & both successful, by following my gut feeling, & taking some chances!

I started the flower business by going to the wholesale market buying several bouquets of flowers , wrapping them in newspaper with a big red bow and giving them to several friends who gave me feedback! Eventually I had 40ish customers a week for “Every Bloomin Week & Event. Customers got a fresh bouquet to their house every Friday (this was way before the stores carried flowers) I had a partner in the business, but we weren’t great partners. When Dad sold the store I did the book work for I was concerned about having a free day, so when my dear friend Helen suggested I get a line to rep. like her who had several, I thought I could do that and went to New York with Helen to secure a line! I meet a nice couple . He  was an artist who decided to become a business person.

When he didn’t call in a few days to let me know if He would give me the line I called him and YES I got it! It was wonderful and successful for awhile I did flowers by  then events & reping coats at the same time!  Just to give anyone reading this a business thought: People like Helen and many others took there lines to boutique after boutique, intown and out. Since I was so late in getting into this…I decided to go to Jacobson’s Headquarters’ who had many stores in Michigan. Dad went with and it was a wonderful outcome, so don’t be afraid to THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX!..I had nothing to lose and everything to gain! Suffice to say this was a very successful line and sold it to high end stores like Bendels & Nordstrom’s ,  I Magnum & many more. I doubled back and also sold to the  boutiques in town and out of town as well.

When Dad decided to close his stores and was going to have another career…I Knew for sure that I could count on ME to land on our feet….when Dad chose Insurance, I did everything I could to support him and before long Dad was really really successful! We travelled with Allstate Dad won many awards and since I always asked him during our dating days “What would you do if you weren’t going into your father business” He always said I don’t know. Now we knew how successful he would be on his own! Only lately do I realize I always was “in business” and that being in business was my career! In retrospect, I feel very good about where I started and where I am all these years later. I have been very luck in a business I knew nothing about  my next move, always believing, the energy of the earth would get me to where I needed to be! Its 28 years later and I am still working with some of the same manufact & master distributors I started with selling to some of the same departments.

**I hope at this point my cherished grandsons will  recognize me, as someone to learn from, knowing you have to work hard, trust yourself, & most important lesson “its not about the money”,   but getting  yourself in the right place and making enough to afford YOUR choices’, whatever that is.!

I am most thrilled that Dad and I have been able to travel and have been able to expose our family to doing that. I am most grateful that I found the way to acquire points through my business as an” afterthought ” after my commission was agreed to! These points have allowed us to do many, many things!

After high school, I continued to work while going to Jr. College. I was doing well in college but I didn’t have time to work full time and go to school.  I decided to figure out my future  on my own. Which is when I became a dental assistant & office manager

The day after I turned 16 I got a job at Bethesda hospital at Western and Howard.

I would get there at 6:00AM and fill the food trays with whatever the requirements were like salt pepper silverware napkins etc. At 8:00 I would take the bus to Sullivan High school to start my day. After school on most days, I would return to the hospital to wash out the glass tubes they used for blood tests in those days. If I finished early  the girls in the lab would teach me a little about blood counts and EKG’s.

It was apparent I could not go away to school like my friends and cousins because there was no money for that & higher education  wasn’t especially encouraged. I met your Dad, the love of my life at my Aunt Addi’s whose house I went to visit. I am pretty sure it f it was not “love at first sight, there was a strong connection there, which over a 6 year period developed and by the time were were married we loved & knew each other very well.

After Highschool I started Amundsen Jr. college while & I got a job at Colonial insurance company. after a couple of years I was impatient and wanted to “start my future”. My friend Shelly worked for a dentist downtown at 30 N. Michigan. I applied for a job and was hired to learn to be an assistant. One of the doctors was a periodontist, a very new kind of dentistry! After a while I changed offices and started working for Dr. Bendersky, who had a great office but not too many patients . There I met Dr, Ira Fleishman who came in once a week as endodontist and Dr. Alan Kaplan who was an orthodontist. Ira and I immediately hit it off and are still friendly to this day. Dr. Bendersky was waiting for a city contract that would give him  a certain amount of money for every hotel worker in the city whether thy came or not. In the meantime he couldn’t pay his bills. Once when he was out of town they were going to shut off the phone, so Ira Fleishman & I paid the bill! I became the office manager and Dr. Bendersky became a multi millionaire. We had fun in the office. It was never overwhelming busy and there was a lot of downtime.   I was more serious with Your Dad, who came up to the office when he was home from school. Dad Ira and I became friendly and laughed a lot. Eventually Ginger, Miles future sister-in-law & I decided to develop a friendship. We were and are very different people who never would have connected but we agreed to become “friends” and we did! We raised our children together and continues to support eachother, we don’t get involved in the “small stuff”, no judgements!

David was in the reserves and Ginger was a bacteriologist at North Western Hospital and on many Fridays, while we waited for Miles and David to get home  Ginger would come to my office. I remember doing each others hair and girlie things. It was fun!

As a 9 year old I clearly remember deciding that I wanted a life where I had choices and would be IN charge of my success & destiny.

I started with a camp in my backyard. I babysat constantly if I was not in school. I don’t remember my parents being involved in my school work and promoting academics, so I figured my success would not come from school. I was also impatient because I could see no path for me to higher education, that wouldn’t require financial support, which I felt there was none of. My dad was a working man, making ends meet, my Mom stayed home, though I will say she had good common sense and instilled that in me, and perhaps that’s why I was able to achieve success on my own. I did have my parents love and they always said I could so anything.