Hey Dad,
How’s everything going? I guess you know something’s up, here. I mean why else would I be writing this letter? I guess the last one I wrote was after I got my very first ‘real’ paycheck. Wow. That was a fun one. This will be too.
I love you.
I guess this letter is about that, well, I KNOW it is about that. You’re still a young guy…even though you’ve got a son that’s graduated over a year ago, another in college, and a daughter….well..she’s got a long way to go, but it’ll go by fast too—it’s a darn good thing you and mom got started early!
I’m going to take a t.o. right here, bear with me.
After I left Brewton for college, I felt I was at the point where, if I died the next day, man….I’ve lived the best 17-18 years I could ever ask for…I felt (feel) like I was so blessed to know you, mom, ty and court, and I felt I had lived a ‘complete’ life. Surely you know what I’m trying to say, even though it isn’t flowing quite as well as it should – especially since I’M WRITING!—ever heard of the BACKSPACE key? maybe a little proof-reading??? Oh well, now that I’m married, I’m definitely at the point where I think about how blessed I am to have Erin. I’m into a new life here, and there’s a lot more that I want to do…with Erin, and my kids…etc. I’m going through a cycle of life, and I’m not ready for it to end…it’s exciting. I still feel like I’ve lived the best 22+ years anyone could experience.
Alright, t.o. over. I just want you to know where I am.
You ARE young. You know that. (you know there’s a big “BUT” coming..it’s inevitable, sorry…) but, there’s too many things that can happen to your lungs at this young age, because of the smoking. First of all, this letter is NOT AT ALL INTENDED to make you stop smoking. That’s not the point at all. I just want you to know exactly how much I (and the rest of the family) care about you. I love you. There’s just too many risks that a guy takes that can affect the quality of life for an extended period of time. I mean, I know you don’t want to have to worry about chronic lung problems, or heart problems — just a bunch of smoking related crap that can complicate other things.
Now that you are totally aware I am concerned, this is my view of the future:
In the not to distant future, Erin and I will have children. I’m still convinced that I’ll have twins. But I’m also convinced that I’ll have a boy first. Either way, it won’t matter, but that’s what we (ME & YOU) are going to assume for our entertainment, anyway.
My 2 year old boy will be crappin his pants occasionally, beating my butt in basketball…my knees may bleed from the carpet burn. He’ll be fetching the remote control for me, just to make me happy. He’ll get yelled at, getting asked repeatedly, “You want some RED BUTTS?!?” Then later on he’ll be starting kindergarten, drawing pictures of his family, and his grandparents…he may be drawing pictures of his grandparent’s house in Alabama…and his little sister, or brother! He’ll be giving me good-night kisses, and come crying to me about his scary nightmares, or wondering about what ‘heaven’ is all about…He’ll be looking forward to me coming home every night for the next “game”, whether it be basketball, chutes & ladders, ‘see how many seconds it takes to get me a beer’…you know, the usual. He’ll ask me if I’m the smartest person in the whole world, to which I’ll reply, “No, probably the 4th smartest!”.
Then there will be some intramural games in grade school. I’d imagine he may grow taller than me, hopefully getting some of your height! He’ll come home crabby, not wanting to empty the dishwasher after school. Erin will do it—-I’ll find out….”————————-DAMNIT! What the %$#$% is this?!?….YOU BLEW IT! You f#$^in’ BLEW IT” He’ll be smart enough not to mistake ‘blue’ for ‘blew’…it’s MY boy we’re talking about here. He will feel like I struck him 100 times over…without a scratch to be seen. He will be better person than I am….mysteriously so. I’ll give out stories to my co-workers, on how great he did in school, or maybe I’ll tell them that ‘he told me his math test counted one half of one third of his grade…so you know how he’s doing in math’…I’ll be there to console him during his toughest times, even though he WON’T go 1-13 in the championship game, and if he did…I’d share his pains with him, hold him, cry with him, tell him I love him, then pick him up. I’d share my joys with him. He’s so special. How did he turn out so good? Yeah, I’m a good guy, but man…he’s something else.
I want you to share all of this with me too. I know you’ve shared these things before. These emotions sure sound familiar. I’ll only write this once. Because I know you already know it. SELFISHLY, I’d feel better if I knew you didn’t smoke. Those cigarettes are not worth the risk of your health to me. LIKE I SAID EARLIER. I’m NOT ASKING THAT YOU QUIT. I’m just offering whatever I can do to help. I am too, very aware, that health complications might not have a damn thing to do with the fact that you smoke, but hey, it’s just not worth the risk – to me.
As you read my son’s stories, I know you can see them…re-live them……if you think THAT is special, well, you can just multiply that by me, Ty and Court….and multiply that by the number of kids we (your children) will have. We love you so much. Man, oh man there’s a lot going on.
I KNOW IT’S NOT RELATED, but I don’t want you to have to fight something for a decade like your mom has. That’s going to be tough enough on me – let alone you and your dad, brother and sister. I know I’m writing this letter very selfishly, and I apologize, it’s just got to be said.
It has done some positive things though. I still have yet to try a cigarette (outside of the time you told me to suck it like a straw – though I don’t remember that), and to my knowledge, I doubt Ty has tried it either.
I really love you dad. I wish I could spend more time with you. It would be worth it to me if I could quit my job and work with you every day. I really mean that. I know I’ve got other factors involved…like a wife! But I can sincerely say that I’d enjoy going to work with you everyday. You have done SO MUCH for me. I just want to do whatever I can. Whenever you give it another shot, I want you to know you can talk to me. I realize that it may be uncomfortable to talk about this, but damn, you are the strongest guy that I know…you must get it from your mom. IF and when you are ready to tackle this, I would propose that YOU CALL ME when you get the insurmountable urge, just before you decide to pull out a cigarette and break the streak…even if it is 4 o’clock in the morning – when you get up. Man, I’d do anything to help. I love you. I know this is echoed by everyone in the family. Mom probably cares more than all of us. –if you end up dying from lung cancer, heck, I KNOW mom will have you cremated! No doubt about it! followed by a bigass ‘I TOLD YOU SO’.
Hey. can’t say it enough. I love you. And ya know what? As much as I’d like to see the smoke-free Bradley…well, not at all costs! I’ll tell you what, if it means a smoke-free Bradley that is crabby and grouchy for the next decade? then the next carton is on ME!
Love you buddy.
I’ve done a little research, and I’ve added it on the next pages. It looks pretty good to me. The neatest part is the ‘recovery times’. You’ve probably seen it all before, but this seemed pretty detailed to me.
STOPPING SMOKING
A wide range of methods exist for quitting smoking. Family members, friends, and work associates may be supportive or encouraging but the desire and commitment to quit must be a personal decision. It may prove helpful to write up a specific list of the reasons why one wants to quit. A 1990 Gallup poll of smokers revealed that two-thirds of smokers state they would like to quit.
Past attempts to quit tobacco use should be viewed as learning experiences, not failures. Information from people who have been able to successfully quit smoking shows that 70% had made 1 to 2 previously unsuccessful attempts; 20% had made 3 to 5 previously unsuccessful attempts; and 9% had made 6 or more previously unsuccessful attempts before actually quitting.
Like other addictive behaviors, tobacco use is difficult to stop and maintain, particularly if acting totally alone. The best success in quitting has been noted with comprehensive programs that may combine various strategies, over time (usually 4 to 8 weeks with 1 or 2 hours of support per week) including education, peer support, behavior recognition, behavior modification methods, recognition of potential relapse situations, and strategies for confronting such situations. Medications that are nicotine substitutes, such as transdermal nicotine or nicotine gum, may be used temporarily in conjunction with such programs. These medications require a prescription, therefore seek the support and cooperation of the primary care provider for their use.
Comprehensive programs for quitting smoking have a successful rate of about 20 to 40% of participants. In contrast, 2.5% of people who choose to quit smoking spontaneously, without help, achieve success. Once a person has chosen to quit using tobacco products, it may prove beneficial to elicit a broad range of collaborative methods and support persons to enhance optimal success. If success is not reached initially, simply look at what occurred or what didn’t work, develop new strategies, and try again. Multiple attempts are frequently necessary to “beat the habit.”
BENEFITS OF QUITTING
- within 20 minutes of quitting
- blood pressure and pulse rate drop to normal
- body temperature of extremities (hands/feet) increases to normal
- within 8 hours of quitting
- carbon monoxide level in blood drops to normal
- oxygen level in blood increases to normal
- within 24 hours of quitting
- risk of sudden heart attack decreases
- within 48 hours of quitting
- nerve endings begin to regenerate
- senses of smell and taste begin to return to normal
- within 2 weeks to 3 months of quitting
- circulation improves
- walking becomes easier
- lung function increases up to 30%
- within 1 to 9 months of quitting
- overall energy typically increases
- symptoms associated with chronic use decrease (such as coughing, nasal congestion, fatigue, and shortness of breath)
- cilia (fine, hair-like projections lining lower respiratory tract) function begins to return to normal, which increases the body’s ability to handle mucus, clean the respiratory tract, and reduce respiratory infections
- within 1 year of quitting
- excess risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a tobacco user
- within 5 years of quitting
- lung cancer death rate (for average 1 pack/day former smoker) decreases by nearly 50%
- risk of cancer of the mouth is half that of a tobacco user
- within 10 years of quitting
- lung-cancer death rate becomes similar to that of a nontobacco user
- precancerous cells are replaced with normal cell growth
- risk of stroke is typically lowered, possibly to that of a nontobacco user
- risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, kidney, and pancreas decreases
- within 15 years of quitting
- risk of coronary heart disease is that of a nonsmoker
