A treasured, lasting memory of Mom that sums up my experience with her as a Mother, is how she tenderly sang “I wonder When He Comes Again” to us most evenings as we went to sleep. Very fitting as she now has lived to see the year 2020 and she hoped the Second Coming would be soon!! She also, read scripture stories , told us scripture stories, had wonderful family home evening’s and taught us principles throughout the days of our lives, very wisely working them into our daily activities.
“No love in mortality comes closer to approximating the pure love of Jesus Christ than the selfless love a devoted mother has for her child.” (Elder Jeffery R Holland) We all know the truthfulness of this because of our wonderful Mother!
A mother impresses upon her children everything they become, in my life, this includes: faith, work, a desire to achieve goals and an understanding of how to be a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ.
One of my earliest memories of mom is her example of teaching the importance of work. She found joy in work and want her children to as well. Mom accomplished this by asking us to help her with jobs and as we matured, she would let us tackle things ourselves, coaching us as needed. She told me how as a young girl, she used to help Grandma Kofoed frequently clean, polish and shine the hardwood floors in their New Plymouth home, Mom worked along side her Mother to shine the floor, then they would stand back and say to each other, “See how it shines!!” Mom told me to always look back on a job and find the work accomplished as a pleasure!! “Find the shine so to speak”, it was a beautiful life lesson and I still find myself doing it today! See it shine! A job well done!
Mom taught us observe boundaries. When I was age 5, maybe 4, our family lived in a trailer park in Moscow, Idaho. Demonstrating great independence, I rode my bike to the grocery store with my friend without asking, Mom was permanently damaged with “fear of parenting” from that point on! She was terribly exasperated at my disappearance!! This choice of mine lead to a great level of frustration in her, which lead to her imprinting me with the knowledge to never go any where without asking! ( picture)
Mom loved her babies so tenderly. Dad built a beautiful cradle made of wood and hung it from the ceiling, between the kitchen and dinning room. I saw each of my 10 younger siblings welcomed into her loving arms and heart. She would cuddle them, hold them and smile, comforted and nourish them to great health and well being.
Mom was always involved in our education often requiring extreme efforts in her part, she was very intelligent herself and this lead our family’s way through years of academics. On the humorous side, when we first moved to Weiser, after Dad finished Law School, we lived in a small house near Eldon and Eliane Chandler. I went to first and second grade on the school bus from that home. One day, Mom was livid when in second grade, I came home and told her we were learning “Cursive” at school. She immediately thought I was learning “to curse” and told me “I should never do that, and that it was bad!” I went to school a little worried but today, I have pretty nice cursive. Ha!Ha!
Mom loved to see potential in her children. My senior year, spring of 1982 Mom and I sang a duet at the Mother/Daughter breakfast held at the Weiser Golf Course Club House. As many know, Mom frequently sewed our clothing, and that day, I remember wearing a beautiful lavender flowered dress that she had sewn for me and how we practice singing together and performed “I Often Go Walking”. It was one of life’s complete moments; I stood there with my mother, literally clothed in her efforts; my senior year, in front of all my friends and their mothers, in a dress she made me, singing a song that she loved, from the gospel she loved! I felt immense love and completeness that day which carried me through the years ahead.
Later the same year, I remember she took me to an upscale dress shop in Boise to buy a dress suit for the interview portion of the Washington County pageant. She helped me feel beautiful and spoke complements buoying up my confidence. This is something she did well and often and is a key ingredient to her children’s successes!! Through the pageant experience, though I didn’t want to be in it, as it was not my nature or personality to do something like that, I learned a different side of myself. This paid great dividends in the future as I became a more refined adult. (The truth is, Dad’s secretary was in charge of the pageant in our area so I was “roped into it.”) Because of Mom’s methods of encouragement, I learned to try new opportunities! Over all, trying something new was a positive experience for me and a great parental success, as it pulled me out of a shell of shyness and lack of confidence.
Being inclusive and nonjudgmental is a priceless skill, Mom definitely was and example of this trait. Our beloved friend Lou Cheney and Mom had a wonderful relationship, Mom felt judgments toward her when they first met but later admired Lou greatly. Lou helped all of us children prepare to perform and sing in public. As a side note, Lou’s daughter Michelle was a dear friend of mine, she used to laugh at me as I prepared for a pageant. Well, actually we laughed together about the experience. The Cheney’s were tremendous people and helped so many of us. Years later, when Mom was visiting us in Louisiana, Madeline was asked to give a talk in church about being nonjudgemental. Mom shared a beautiful story about learning not to judge, an account of her early interactions with Lou Cheney. Mom told how when Lou moved into our ward, Mom was so intimidated by her! Lou was always dressed perfectly, had a gorgeous hairdo, a beautiful, well trained voice, was an accomplished musician and had a very put together life. On the other hand Mom had a lot of young kids and was swamped at that point in life and felt very disheveled and exhausted. The contrasts of their life styles caused Mom to recoil and feel like she did like Lou and wanted to stay away from her. I think they eventually were called to serve together in a calling at church and judgments were dissolved. Mom found out Lou wanted to have more children and actually admired Mom for her accomplishments and family responsibilities! Madeleine’s talk, using this experience about Lou Cheney was touching. How different they were but became best friends- don’t judge!!
All Roosters- The Ultimate Chicken Story:
- As many of you had experiences with chickens and they were our main sustenances, I thought I would not leave out that Mom and Dad grew in there ability as chicken farmers. One spring, in order to save money they bought 100 baby chickens on discount because they were all roosters. No one seemed concerned with of this small detail, I was solely in charge of feeding and tending them for several months. I didn’t mind the job because I could hurry with chicken job, then go play with the horses for hours while Lara and LaReesa tackled the endless laundry and dishes! Well, gradually a problem arose with the coop full of roosters. By about July, when I opened the door to feed these roosters, all I saw was claws!! In an effort to continue to do my job, I would carry a big stick when I opened the door to fight them back so they wouldn’t kill me before I dumped in their food and water. It was awful!! I spoke to Mom about this problem and she said I was exaggerating. Well, as luck would have it, I had to go off to girls camp. When, I returned from girls camp a week later, I dutifully went out to feed the chickens and the coop was empty. When I ask Mom where the chickens were, she said Dad had killed them because they were mean!! Good thing I went to girls camp. Every year we hang a special ornament on our Christmas tree. It is heart shaped and has “Home is close to the heart” written on it. Mom sent it to me on my mission, as missionaries we didn’t have a tree so we hung it on our house plant. I know Mom chose this because she wanted “home to be close to our hearts.” She worked to accomplish this with every fiber of her being!! And succeeded because we loved our home experience!! Another very favorite memory is when Mom helped me find my apartment on 7th East in Provo. We both admit we felt the prompt of the Holy Ghost lead us to that specific apartment but at the time did not know why until we looked back. Ted and I were placed in the same FHE group and met there that year. We knew we were guided to fine each other. Yes and I have been blessed so much by Mom!! Ted loves Mom!! She is like a second Mother to him. I know he is not the only in-law to feels this way. So much loves radiated from Mom to her fellow sons and daughters in law that she travels with in this earth life experience.
Recently, Mom did genealogy research showing Ted and Mom are related two ways. So, they have always felt like kin and actually are! One funny incident Ted wanted me to add, is a memory of how Mom once towed him in a car that wouldn’t start, at an average speed of 65 mph all the way to town!! The tow rope was only 20 foot long so we figure she was late for something and thought that was a good towing speed or was trying to scare him!!
One summer, about 2015, Ted and I went to a session in the Boise Temple. Mom knew we were planning to go while Mom and Dad were working as shift coordinators. Before we left for Boise Mom called asking us to bring her Chemotherapy pill, she had forgot to bring it and it needed to be taken at a certain time that afternoon. I’ll will never forget the incredible moment when I walked into the Temple office, there Mom sat, all arrayed in white, her office, chair and book all white, her glow was angelic.
A more recent memory about Mom, deeply saddened me, I will never forget it. We had a family fast for Mom on January 3 rd 2021. I woke up in the middle of the night during the fast in greatest anguish! My throat was dry, my thirst was beyond intense and I felt weak. I realize I was feeling Mom’s pain. For a brief moment may have suffered her painful condition. I thankful for Mom’s guidance in helping me prepare for dating, a mission, temple marriage and motherhood. In addition to the eternally important guidances, she never missed an opportunity for the practical side of teaching; cooking, cleaning, baking, sewing, serving others, mothering babies and raising children, family traditions and relationships and the list goes on, all of greatest value to the souls of man. It is good to remember our Mother’s impact of greatness will last for generations. I contemplated my seven daughters and how they carry her strengths. Nothing could be greater for the generations ahead. As Elder Holland describes, “No love in mortality comes closer to the pure love of Jesus Christ” our Mother’s Love is a blessing beyond measure.
