I went to Mahwah High School for my freshman and sophomore years. I then went to Northern Highlands Regional High School for my junior and senior years, where my cousin Art and I were part of the first graduating class of Northern Highlands in 1967. My class had the privilege of being the “seniors” so to speak for two years, and because of our status of being the first graduating class of NHRHS, we were able to initiate many of the school’s practices and traditions.
I had some adventures that were typical of a not-so-smart teenager. For example, many Sunday evenings when Nana was living with us, my parents would take her out to dinner, a movie, and then maybe a stop at the Dairy Queen; and guess who would be left in charge of babysitting her younger siblings? I recall getting them situated in front of the TV with a snack; and then feeling daring, Cheryl, Art, and I quietly pushed Nana’s car up the driveway not wanting my siblings to hear the car engine, so we could taken turns at the wheel cruising neighboring towns because we were too known in Allendale. When my parents got home and wanted a report on how things went, I kiddingly told them that I took Nana’s car out for a drive while Darlene, Kevin, and Maureen watched TV. They rolled their eyes and snickered, thinking, of course, that I was joking. I thought we were so smart and we had all bases covered, until the next time we felt brave and adventurous, but Mrs. Kiss was standing in the middle of my driveway near the street with her arms crossed like a military guard, waiting to greet us. That evening ended our Sunday night excursions and started a grounding period for Cheryl and me.
A few years later, when I told my mother that we actually did take the car out, she was completely surprised we would do that. Unfortunately, my brother Kevin, who was in high school at the time, overheard our conversation, and he took it a step further. He had a spare key made for mom’s car, and walked to the nursing home to take her car out while she was working. Well, he got caught by the Allendale Police. When they went to the nursing home to let my mother know the situation, she told them to take him to jail to spend the night, and she would pick him up the next day. And, that is what they did.
At Mahwah High School, the presidency of the student council was a teaching tool for the students to learn about the US presidential election process including formation of parties supporting candidates, election caucuses, campaigning, speeches, and then the victory celebration at which time all candidates and parties came together to celebrate. This was probably the social event of the year for most students, and campaign parties were probably our parents’ worst nightmare because of the underage drinking. I went to the parties, but drinking wasn’t my thing at that time. That might be hard to believe, but when you are living with an alcoholic, trust me, that is the last thing you want to do. I was your “designated driver” long before that became a trend and popular in our culture.
I would have to say that for the most part, my elementary and high school days were happy and somewhat carefree. At Brookside School, I participated in the annual talent shows and concerts, had a leading role in our seventh grade play, was on the student council, and was a majorette in the sixth, seventh, and eighth grades. I was also kept busy with dance lessons, being in the Brownies, and then continuing on to being a Girl Scout. In high school, I was also on the student council; but then in my junior and senior years, I decided to run for class secretary. I was a cheerleader all four years, so I worked at balancing school work, extracurricular activities, working at the AB&G, and maintaining a social life, which was pretty typical for a high school student then.
A favorite hangout as a teenager was the Ram Room in Ramsey. There was a jukebox, teen-friendly food, and a welcoming place for teens to gather and socialize. During the summer months, we would meet there before the block dances. The township of Ramsey would sponsor summer block dances for the local teens. A live band would play, and we would meet our friends—and whoever our love interest might be at the time—to dance the night away. It was great entertainment, and we really looked forward to the dances.
When I was old enough to date, I was first allowed only to double date, and the drive-in movie was definitely off-limits. I recollect when my father, being friendly but not too friendly, took my date out to the garage to talk and get to know him. Slipping on his boxing gloves and then while punching the sandbag, he would share with my date his expectations of how his daughter was to be treated and what my curfew was for the night. Then with a handshake and smiling as we left, he would emphasize that he would be waiting to greet us when the young man brought me home.
I dated a number of guys in high school, but by my junior year, Mike Marozin became my “steady” as we would call it then. He was a year ahead of me in school, and after Mike graduated, he was drafted and became a member of the United States Marine Corp. Before he was sent to Vietnam, we got engaged. After high school, I went to Katherine Gibbs Secretarial School. When I graduated, I had two interviews and received two job offers; one with UPS and the other with IBM. After some thought and discussions with my parents, I decided to go with IBM as they were not unionized and offered a comprehensive benefits package that really impressed my parents. My father’s skepticism of the labor unions began a few years earlier when he started witnessing some corruption within the ranks.
Mike was in Vietnam, and I started my new job at IBM. In fact, I worked three jobs at that time, saving for our wedding and also for a trip to Hawaii to meet Mike on his R&R. Of course, my full-time job was IBM, but I worked evenings and weekends splitting my time between Irv Lerner’s Men Store and the Dairy Queen. I did save enough money to go to Hawaii, at which time IBM surprised me by giving me two weeks paid vacation even though I had not been with the company long enough to qualify for this. My manager and director appealed to Personnel, and I was given a special “once in a lifetime” paid leave and a Bon Voyage Party. I was so surprised, overwhelmed, and grateful for this gesture as I never expected or imagined IBM doing something like this. My plan was just to take the leave without pay.
Many young men were lost in Vietnam. Some were killed, some were captured becoming prisoners, and some came home; but many of those soldiers returning were not the same young men that left to fight that war. Though many men returned home from Vietnam and previous wars suffering from shell shock of the appalling conditions they experienced in the trenches, there was no diagnosis of “PTSD,” post-traumatic stress disorder. This disorder was not created by the American Psychiatric Association until 1980. Consequently, many soldiers came home physically, mentally, and emotionally damaged, with no support nor knowledge of how to deal with this disorder. Furthermore, the Vietnam War generated such controversy at home that these soldiers did not come home to the “heroes welcome” they rightly deserved. Mike was one those young men who returned home a different person. Though not apparent at first, with time, he started showing subtle hints of personality changes. As we spent more time together planning our wedding and as the wedding date got closer, I became more worried and uncertain of our future. The fact that I had any doubts whatsoever made me very nervous and had me feeling very guilt-ridden that I even had these thoughts. I was distressed thinking Mike didn’t deserve this, and though he didn’t receive a “Dear John” letter while in Vietnam, I felt like that is exactly what I was going to be doing. It was definitely one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made, but eventually, in my heart, I knew it was the only decision I could make. It wouldn’t have been fair or right to go forward with our plans knowing how I felt. Breaking our engagement was not easy, and it shocked everyone, throwing everything into a tailspin. We took a step back from each other and worked through the mess. Not only did I shock Mike, but I surprised myself when we finally did go our separate ways.
After a while I started dating a bit; and some months later, I started dating a guy pretty steady for a while. It didn’t take long for me to recognize that it wasn’t a healthy relationship and not a good choice. I think this was one of the most confusing times of my life, filled with guilt and uncertainty. It was about this time that my brother Jimmy was discharged from the Army and returned home. He was settling in and getting involved with the family business. I think the combination of things— my father’s drinking, my broken engagement, and knowing that Jimmy was going to be there for my mother and younger siblings—got me thinking about making a change. At IBM, our director was opening an office in Westport, Connecticut. I went for an interview and visited the area which was very appealing to me as it wasn’t far from home. It was a beautiful area on the water, and it was less than a two-hour drive from my family. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to be neighbors with Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward? I was offered the job, and the timing seemed perfect for making a change in my life.
Like the warmth of the sun,
And the light of the day,
May the luck of the Irish shine bright on your way.
