While in Newbury Park, I decided to go back to school and complete my Teaching Credential. Merleen Gholdston also was returning to school, so we helped each other with tending kids. This was about 1987. After I received my credential I started teaching kindergarten at Pinecrest School in Thousand Oaks. I was there for two years and then got a job at Knolls Elementary in Simi Valley (1996) teaching 3rd grade. I was there for 20 years teaching both 2nd and 3rd grade. I loved teaching and it was a joy to go to work every day!
Kelly continued to work for Samy’s Camera in Los Angeles and then managed the Santa Barbara store. At this time, (2005?) Kelly started to have health issues and was taking a lot of drugs. It began to affect his work and soon he was on state disability. I continued to work, so we were able to manage financially.
The years that followed were not good for us. We were receiving professional counseling and also meeting with our bishop, Kes Andersen. At one point Kelly told me he didn’t have a testimony of the church any more. I already felt that was the case, but told him he should continue to go to church and pray about it. Testimonies can be strong at times, or weak. Kelly was not interested in trying. He began to drink coffee, and then drinking alcohol and smoking pipes and cigars. Doug was going in and out of rehab at this time and Kelly would give him alcohol and Xanax. When I told our counselor about this, I asked her what she would do if this was her husband? As a counselor and being LDS, she never would advise divorce. However, she answered me by saying, “If it was her husband giving her child drugs, he would be gone that day.” This was the same with our Bishop. He is not supposed to advise divorce, but he told me I needed to decide how much I wanted to put up with. My heart was aching for my marriage and my son.
I had been praying for a couple of years about my marriage. I always asked Heavenly Father what I should do, but never felt like I got an answer. I finally prayed and told Heavenly Father I could not do this anymore, and thought we needed to separate. I immediately got my answer. A physical peace came over me from head to toe. Kelly and I discussed a legal separation and everything went smoothly. In August 2007, Kelly moved to Sandy, Utah.
As we contemplated separation, Kelly confided in me that he was molested by his brother, Judd, when he was young. He also said that his sister Sheila was also molested by Judd. Kelly also grew up with alcoholic parents. All these childhood and family occurrences affected Kelly so that it was hard for him to trust and to truly love. I’m sorry that we were not able to deal with these issues earlier in our marriage.
After our separation, I stayed in our home in Newbury Park and continued to work and go to church. In 2013 I retired and moved to Utah to live with Quinn. It was a very happy time for me and I continue to be very happy living with Quinn. She has been very good to me as has Morgan and John. Doug and I continue to repair our relationship, and I hope he knows how much I love him and want him in my life.
Kelly did not do well in Utah. At one point he had Rick and Janet Wells living with him. They were all drinking and using drugs. Kelly ended up in the hospital a few times for problems related to drinking. After a few years, he gave up his home to a short sale and moved to an apartment. His health continued to decline. Soon Doug drove out from Virginia to move Kelly to Virginia to be close to him so he could help with his care. On April 29, 2016, Kelly fell and hit his head and died. He was found by a health worker who came to check on him. It was a very sad time for all of us. I remember staying in bed one day and just crying. Grieving is hard. I mourned Kelly’s death and also mourned what could have been and what should have been. I have a testimony of the plan of salvation and know that we will be together again; I know our family is eternal.
