THE YEAR 1986: BIG EVENTS/MAIN HEADLINES
It was January 1986 I was 28 years old. June would be turning the big three-oh in February, Crystal was only 6 and Christopher 4 yrs old. Some of the big events that would make headline news that year were: the US Space Shuttle, Challenger would explode right after takeoff killing the entire crew including a school teacher named Christa McCaullife. The US for the first time ever would celebrate the birthday of the slain civil rites activist Dr.Martin Luther King calling it MLK Day. Gasoline was at a whopping price of .89 cents a gallon, sparking outrage as it inched closer to the unimaginable price of $1.00 per gallon. Later on that year to my heartbreak, Billy Buckner would let the World Series slip through his legs as the Mets went onto beat my Red Sox in 7 games. There was another event that happened just as the year began that would never be in the national headlines or even the local paper – but the event altered the course of not only my life but that of my wife and children – it was the day I found Jesus. It was in 1986 that my story was about to become God’s story and so was the beginning of a greater story. As I look back, that day was the culmination of some life moments that I experienced as God pursued me throughout my life. Let me explain.
GROWING UP WITHOUT GOD
Though I grew up in a loving family and have many fond memories of my childhood (explained in previous chapters) we were never very religious. I was told I was baptized into a Methodist church at the age of 2, but I have very little memory of our family attending church on a regular basis. I remember being jealous of my friends in Niantic who would go to CCD classes on Saturdays as their Catholic obligation and wished I was with them. Probably not because I wanted to learn about God but to be with my friends. I do remember not long before my father passed away, he started to take us to this little Community Church in Niantic on a regular basis. I even remember attending Sunday School classes. All that ended after his death. I often have wondered if he had a “finding Jesus” moment before his death, I will never know the answer until I get to heaven. When we moved to Randolph, NJ we didn’t attend church but my mom became friends again with a childhood friend, Pauline Taraska. She had a son my age, Joe who I talked about in the Randolph chapter. Pauline had become a “born-again” Christian and her son Joe invited me to a Friday night program he attended at Bethlehem Church in Randolph called Boys Brigade. It was similar to a boy scout program, we would play games, learn survival skills, went on outdoor outings, the only difference is we would also learn about Jesus. I enjoyed going for all the fun stuff and would even listen to the bible stories. There was a young ranger named Todd Moffat who was a bit over-zealous for the Lord and seemed to target me every Friday night trying to get me to “accept Jesus” into my life. Finally one night I gave in to his badgering and said the “sinners prayer” with him in the stairwell of the church. I really didn’t mean it as when I got outside and saw Joe, we both started to laugh. Around the 10th or 11th grade, I stopped going and got into the normal teen life of girls and partying (described in the previous chapter). Though I placed God on the back burner, the beginning foundation would be laid, God wasn’t done with me.
THE NAVY AND OKINAWA JAPAN
When I arrived in Okinawa Japan in 1976, I was an 18-year-old Sailor. I was away from home halfway around the world, living in a foreign culture, with no friends. These three elements created my first real experience with homesickness. I was placed on a work party waiting for my clearance to begin work and was befriended by a guy who happened to be a “born-again” Christian. He invited me to his house for dinner with him and his wife and even picked me up on a couple of Sundays to take me to church with them. Soon after that, he introduced me to two young missionaries he knew. They were both young single guys possible in their 20’s or early 30’s, had long hair and rode around the island on motorcycles, basically, I thought they were pretty cool. At first, I spent a lot of time with them, riding around the back of their motorcycles, attending a Bible study at their homes. During this time I could feel myself being drawn to the message. I remember one night one of them drove me on the back of his motorcycle to the top of a road. The road was one of the main roads in a town with lots of bars and clubs lining the road. Many young service people spent time on this road having fun drinking. At the other end of the road at the top of the hill, there was a bar that had these yellow and red lights on the outside that gave the illumination of fire coming off the building. The name of the bar was called “The Pit”. He points to the building and said, “All who venture down this road and live this lifestyle (bars and clubs) eventually end up in the “pit of hell” and he pointed to the club called “The Pit”. I wish I could say that was when I turned my life over to Jesus, but I didn’t. Soon after that, I started to make other friends, stopped hanging out with them, and went back to the normal life of a guy my age of drinking and partying. I again placed God in the back burner because I wasn’t ready to change my life, but he wasn’t done with me yet.
THE DREAM
The Bible has multiple stories of God speaking to people through dreams: Jacob, Joseph, King Solomon, and two men simply referred to as a baker and a butler, were just some that are mentioned. Now I’m not placing myself in any of their categories but I mention that to make a point. God communicates with people in various ways: through visions, signs and wonders, angels, and dreams. I believe it was how he finally got my attention after 15 years of trying. One night in January 1986 I went to sleep and had a dream. The dream was about me riding in my pickup truck down my street toward my house. In my dream, I then heard a news report over the radio that all the “good” people in the world have suddenly disappeared. In the next scene of my dream, I was running into my house trying to find my family. In the back bedroom both my children (Crystal and Christopher) were sitting on the floor crying that “Mommy had disappeared”. The next part is strange but all of a sudden I was being lifted into the air and I remember screaming “No Lord” leave me alone I need to be with my children”. The next scene I remember, I loaded my kids in my truck and started to drive. There was a group of people sitting in the back of my truck, telling me to hurry as if we had to get somewhere. This part of the dream I’ve never understood but I then pulled into a gas station with people standing there with a sign that said “free gas”. When I pulled in they started to attack us for some reason, but I fought them off and drove away. Then, in the next scene, we drove to the foot of this mountain and we all started to run up the hill trying to get away from something. As I was running up the hill I turned around and saw that the entire earth was on fire. I then woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. I got up for work and that dream was bothering me, I wasn’t sure what it meant but I just knew it had some meaning. When I arrived at work that day I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I then told this co-worker at my work about the dream. I’ll never forget her face. She looked at me with a surprised/scared look and said: “Steve Rapsas told me that the Bible mentions something like that happening one day (people disappearing)”. Steve was a “born-again” Christian. I liked him but never really talked to him about the Bible as I was not really interested (been there, heard it, not interested). I called Steve into my office to tell him about the dream, he looked at me in a strange way and said ‘it sort of sounds like you dreamt about the rapture”. Now I had no idea what he meant so he went on to tell me that the Bible talks about Jesus coming back and taking all the Christians out of the world (1 Thessalonians 4:13-17). The next day he gives me a Bible and a Bible pamphlet called “The 4 Spiritual Laws” to read. The track basically says that we are all sinners and are separated from God. It pictures a man standing on a cliff with another cliff on the other side that represented where God was, with a gap in between both cliffs. It showed how all our attempts to get to God through our own efforts (being good, going to church, being religious) is not enough to bridge the gap or get to the other side. Then one page shows a cross laying across the gap to God. That cross represented the death of Jesus on the cross and how it provided the way to get to God(on the other side). I thought about that track for a whole week. That next weekend June and I went down to South Jersey to visit my two Navy friends Al Nagle and Tom Hinkleman. One night we all went out to a bar, it was one week before the Superbowl (Chicago vs Patriots). As we were sitting there drinking and listening to the music, I remember looking up and looked around the bar at all the people drinking, laughing, and dancing. Then suddenly it was as if God said to my mind “you don’t belong here anymore, I have something different for you”. I remember sort of sobering up and pushed my beer away and didn’t take another drink the rest of the night. That next week I kept thinking about the dream, what Steve said, the message in the Bible pamphlet, and what happened in the bar. I started thinking about the other two times I heard the same message about Jesus dying on the cross for me for my sins – at Boys Brigades and in Okinawa Japan from those missionaries. I thought to my self – “this is the third time I have heard this message, I rejected it twice if I reject it again will it be “3 strikes and I’m out?”, “Will God give me another chance or will he give up on me if I reject him a third time?”. I went into my bedroom, got down on my knees, and prayed to accept Jesus’ death on the cross for the forgiveness for my sins and asked him to come into my life. I knew at that moment I was changed, I felt a peace come over me. God’s plan for me had come to fruition – my life and my family’s lives were about to change.
WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE
I started reading the Bible, hanging out with Steve at lunch to learn more, and trying to share with June what I was learning. She thought I was nuts, told me she already believed in God, and to leave her alone, which I did. I figured I needed to start going to church but didn’t know whereas June and I rarely went to church. Since June was Catholic I went to St. Margaret’s where we had Crystal and Christopher christened (though we never attended). After a few times of going, I just felt like it was not a place for me and started looking in the yellow pages for a church. I found one located in Morristown up in the Jockey Hollow area. I went to the church by myself one morning and walked into a lively music and people clapping and singing, which I enjoyed. I then started to hear people talk in a strange language, the Bible calls it “tongues”, and thought “I will never get June to walk into this place”, and left. I then remembered I had heard that my old high school friend Dave Akromas (who I went into the Navy with) had become “born-again. Even though we had not talked in years I found his number from his parents and called him. He told me that our friend Scott McGill had also become a Christian, remember he rode with Dave and me on the train to Newark when we left for the Navy. Dave told me about a small church right near my house where he was baptized, called “Washington Valley Chapel”. I had lived in Morristown at that point for 6 years but had never been on that road. I visited that church by myself (June told me she would go to church when I found one I liked). I remember walking in, everyone being friendly, the place had a family feel and I liked the service. I walked out of there thinking, “I think I have found a church home for me and my family. For the next 15 years, Washington Valley Chapel would be our church home, the center of our social life, the place we would not only grow in our Christian faith but would give us many special friends and memories.
GOD NOT DONE WITH ME
Well, God was not through with me. Within a couple of years, I was beginning to feel the urge to go into ministry. At first, I just ignored it but the urge would not go away. Any time I mentioned it to June she just shut down the conversation. She was just getting settled into our new life of going to church weekly, getting more involved at church, and now this – it was too much for her to think about. I wasn’t even sure how to pursue such a calling? Wouldn’t I have to attend seminary? How much would that cost? Where would I serve? We are beginning to love Morristown and in 1986 we even purchased my grandparent’s home from my mother, so now I had a mortgage to pay. At that time we had another child – Robert who was born in 1992. So between having to pay a mortgage and raise a family of 3 children, pursuing ministry seemed almost impossible. So to make sure this urge was not just from me but was from God, I started to write down things that would have to start to come true. I would love to serve at my current church WVC but we already had 4 Pastors serving at a small church. Suddenly each Pastor began to leave, one was Pastor Scott Dee who was the Youth Pastor. The church needed someone to take over and I volunteered and loved working with kids. Next, I couldn’t quit my job and go to seminary so how would I train for ministry and get ordained. Suddenly Pastor Charlie Harrah talked about a new program the CMA was offering, one that would train laypeople in the church who are called to ministry, right at the church they are already serving in, without having to quit their jobs and attend seminary. I couldn’t believe my ears, I could pursue ministry without having to attend seminary. Lastly, June needed to be on board, I needed her blessing. Well, she finally felt that if this was God’s will then I should pursue it. I then enrolled in a program that would take me almost 8 years to complete, all while never having to leave Morristown. I served as the Youth Pastor for WVC while still working in the computer field at ADP. A couple of years into the program I felt the urge to walk away from my job at ADP and concentrate more on ministry. At first, they asked me to stay part-time which I did, then finally when that position was over, I left a good-paying job I had held for 13 years, to pursue ministry. To help pay the bills I did any job I could to make money, from delivering flowers for a florist, painting houses, cleaning gutters, and doing part-time landscaping. At one point a father of a friend of Crystal asked me to write online training programs for a few companies he was consulting with, that job lasted one year. As soon as that ended, ADP called me back to work part-time to help with the Y2K conversion – that job lasted almost 3 years. I even started my own vending machine business, thinking I was going to make lots of money, which I didn’t, but I tried. Finally, I got my Real Estate Appraiser’s license and have been doing that work ever since. So all that just to say, God always provided a way for us to stay financially afloat. I even remember someone once dropped off a bag of money on our steps with $500.00 in it. It was not always easy, there were times when I wasn’t sure how we were going to keep going, but God always came through and provided. Then finally in 2001, I became an ordained minister in the Christian and Missionary Alliance. Even during the ministry years, when one ministry ended there was another opportunity waiting, and we never had to sell our house and move. After WVC ended, I was asked to take on a dying church in South Brunswick. So for 3 years me, June, and Robert would commute almost 50 minutes to serve at Calvary Gospel. When I felt God calling me away from that church, I left with no real future prospects. I even told June I may be done in ministry as I don’t know where to go from here, that was in 2004. Within 2 weeks I found out from some old friends of ours who were at WVC with us, the Mecalls, that they were involved in a prayer group comprised of people who had just left a church and were hoping to plant a new church somewhere. I began to attend the prayer group and there I met Pastor Pete Amerman. They soon saw me as a potential leader and asked me to join with Pastor Pete and begin a new church with them. I mentioned to them that Morristown would be a great place, but where? It was then that a friend of Pete’s who was a manager for Clearview Theaters told us we could open a church right in Morristown at one of his theaters. So on Easter weekend in 2006, we started a new church called “The Well Christian Ministry”. The church was in existence for 5 years when the theaters informed us they were closing and we had to find a new place. Both Pete and I felt this may be the end and informed our people that we may be closing the church for good. We then received a call from the CMA district office when they informed us that a church in Parsippany had just lost their Pastor, was down to about 20 people, and would possibly have to close. They asked us if we would consider merging with them and start yet again another new church. So in 2011, we started a new church in Parsippany called “Living Waters Church”, with Pete as the Lead and I as the Associate Pastor. In 2016, Pete had to step down from the lead position and the church asked me to become their new Lead Pastor. I would then serve as the Lead Pastor for the next 4 years. In 2019, I felt the need to step down as the Lead Pastor of LWC and was ready to move on from the ministry. I was asked to stay around and help with the transition to the next Pastor. So at the writing of this book in mid 2020, I am currently serving on a transitional team of 4 Pastors leading the church into the next phase. I am anticipating moving on to the next phase of my spiritual journey at the end of August 2020. A journey that began in 1996 as the Youth Pastor of WVC, a journey that has taken many turns, trusting God all the way and He has never failed us. I am ready to trust him for the next phase where ever it takes us. Only God knows what is next – stay tuned.
CONCLUSION
All this to say, in life, you never know where God is going to lead you. Proverbs 16:9 says “In his heart, a man plans his course, but it is the lord that determines his steps”. In my heart, my life was pretty much planned out. I had a wonderful family, a nice job and everything was going along just fine. But in 1986, God intervened and changed the direction of my life. In that time he has walked with me and my family, never leaving us or forsaking us as he promises his people in Deuteronomy 31:6. Has it always been easy? No, safe? No. Then again, that is life itself, filled with ups and downs, failures and successes, good and bad. You can try to go it alone, without him, or choose to have him guide you. In the early part of my life, I kept running from God and he kept pursuing me – finally, I surrender gave him control of my life and have never looked back. I’m glad he didn’t give up on me and has been with me and always will be. There is a song by Tenth Avenue North that I placed on my books web site called “CONTROL”, you can also find it on youtube – I hope you take time to listen to it as it reflects my life story -giving up control of my own life and handing it over to the one who knows me best. I hope you do the same. God Bless – Dad, Pop-pop
