My Piss Injuries


As told by Trisha:

It was the last day of our vacation and Mom came down with a stomach bug. So Arden, Michael and I spent the day together. Near the end of the day we decided to walk down to the Sea Garden for a change of scenery.  There was a wedding party at the pool bar and we quickly engaged with the group.  After a few (several??) drinks, we headed back to our hotel. As soon as we exited the water, the alcohol hit us. Turns out drinking in water can really mess with you! We were all much “happier” than we realized.

We walked on the beach back to the hotel. It was a beautiful time of the day. The sun was starting to set and we had a fun walk back – talking, laughing and taking pics.  When we got back to the edge of the Grand Mayan property Arden tried to put his shoes on and fell back, disappearing into the lush landscaping. A guard quickly came to his rescue, pulling him back to the path and on his feet.  I think that’s when Michael and I realized that Arden definitely had more to drink than any of us realized!

We all walked back to the hotel. We knew we all needed to eat something and didn’t want to dump a drunk Arden on a sick mom so decided to go to the Italian restaurant down the street to soak up the booze. The entire time Arden kept saying “How did we get so drunk?!?” Over and over. And Over. Michael and I can both hear his voice so clearly saying that on repeat and with great enthusiasm to this day.

We ate pizza and walked back to the hotel. By this point, Michael and I had sobered up quite a bit, but Arden still seemed pretty intoxicated. Somehow the idea of taking a sobriety test came up in conversation and we wondered if we would pass one. To test himself Arden tipped his head back and went to touch his nose with his finger. He was instantly thrown off balance and before any of us knew what was happening, charged headfirst into a little hill near the path, slamming his head into the grass.

Needless to say, he failed that test. Big time. We laughed so hard. And when we finally made our way back to the hotel and into the light of the lobby we realized he still had grass all over his head which of course made the hysterics return.  Such an unexpectedly fun day and night!




It was another sunny afternoon sitting by the pool, drinking a few cervezas and margaritas. I headed to the bathroom where I slipped and fell. My feet went out from under me and I fell flat on my back. In fact, I did not spill a drop of my drink! As I was bracing myself, my left hand went out and caught the head of a nail on the makeshift bar. Blood…lots of blood. I felt like a VIP with the quick attention I was given by the EMT’s. Sue and I went to the resort clinic via a golf cart. I received 5 stitches and a tetanus shot. Cost: $145. That darn Michael was laughing at me the whole time!




Walking back from the bathroom, Arden slipped on the concrete (again!) and thought he just scraped his big toe.  After looking at it, we found a small tip of his toe was lacerated.  Found the pool medics where they cleaned it and bandaged it.  They gave it a really nice dressing 🙂 Another example of a piss injury!


The History of ‘piss injuries.’

My high school football coach, Ernie Edwards, first used that term for any injury where you didn’t break a bone or bleed to death. If there was an injury, the coach would say “It’s just a piss injury! Get back in the game!”

When my grandson, Brendan, was 4 years old, he took a nasty headfirst fall on his bike. He was a bloody mess with scrapes and cuts on his face. But he didn’t cry (much!) and assured his grandpa that it was just a ‘piss injury’. I was really proud of him!

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