John has asked me to write this story. I am not really sure as to how to start it so I will start from the beginning. When I began junior high school my mom befriended a women at work named Gail Pankratz. Gail was a very social lady who love to camp and go to church. She invited our family to go to the Potwin Bible Church, which was an off shoot of the Waterwater Swiss Mennonite church. The pastor at the Swiss church was Pastor Ensz who was the most caring, calm and kind man. Attending the Potwin Bible Church we would see Pastor Ensz from time to time. As I grew older I would see him at various weddings of friends in the Whitewater/Potwin area. After John and I were married a few years we purchased a home in Whitewater just a block away from the Swiss church. At this time Pastor Ensz had retired and a new leader was in his place.
John and I were great friends with Craig and Tammy Woghelmuth. On Fridays the four of us would get together and play cards. Sometimes we would eat dinner together, we traveled to Las Vegas and just had the best time with one another. This all came to a stop when Craig took his own life. I am not going into the details but it was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to process. The pain that I felt for losing a friend but also the pain that I felt watching my dear friend Tammy who was 5 months pregnant with their first child go through this horror. I would like to say here and now, if you are ever thinking of taking your own life don’t. It is the most selfish act a human can do. The pain that you will leave with your loved ones will last their lifetime. Keep in mind that things may seem so out of control or horrific at the time but if you talk to others, get a good counselor you will see that this storm that you are going through will pass and things can get better. Craig and Tammy belonged to the Swiss church and they had a new leader that was counseling Craig. I believe with all my heart and soul that this leader did not help Craig, he actually made things so bad for Craig. There was a friend of Tammy’s that called me after Craig’s death. She was telling me things that scared the pooh out of me and I was thinking, if this leader was telling Craig these things no wonder, no wonder…. Things were so bad for me that I went three days with no sleep. In order to get any rest I had John read the book that he was reading out loud, side note: John was reading a book about the Russian Revolution, It didn’t matter to me what he was reading but it was the sound of his voice that gave me great comfort. After the third day of not much sleep I finally turned to God. I prayed “God, I am hearing things that do not seem right, that can’t be believed from these church members with Craig. I need you to send me someone that can clarify and bring comfort to me.” I was so desperate, tired and saddened. That next day after saying that prayer I was in the living room and I hear a knock on the door, I open it to see Pastor Ensz’s loving face. He said, “I just thought that you might need someone to talk to.” I nearly broke down in tears right at that moment as I knew that God had answered my prayer by sending him to me. The three of us, Pastor Ensz, John and I, sat down in the living room and I began to tell him of my conversations that had so upset me. In just one simple statement by Pastor Ensz I was calmed, he said, ” Jayme, Craig made a bad decision. A decision that unfortunately he can never take back.” That night I slept through the night, no nightmares, no waking up but a restful sleep. Now, I do want to say that it took time for me to get over this and that not every night was the best sleep. Gradually, each week was better. When I had a bad night, all I had to do was focus on Pastor Ensz’s words. The words that God himself sent him to deliver.
Moral of this story: God shows up when you ask him and are truly in need of him. You need to be ready for his help, you have to accept it so make sure that you are ready for him to help you. He does this through others. So, when you hear Gods voice telling you to reach out to someone, or to stop and say kind words to others do it. You may not know why he needs you to do this, that is between the person you reached out to and God. So listen, God never tells us to do anything wrong or harmful to ourselves or others. All he wants is for us to listen to him and love and help others. God loves you and so do I. 🙂
