My testimony from Childhood to Grandma
My earliest memory of God was lying in bed and thinking about God and Jesus as separate individuals. I was about 8 years old. I know I attended the Methodist church occasionally, but that is all. It wasn’t until I became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that I found out that most churches believe the God head, or Trinity, are all one being. As a child that didn’t make sense to me; they were Father and Son, separate beings!
At times, while trying to fall asleep at night, I would get a little bit scared. So in my mind I would ask my “little white men” to make a circle around me. They were all dressed in white suits, ties, shirts, etc. They would “float” above me in a circle around my whole body. I felt so safe. After I joined the church and went to the temple, I realized that my “little white men” were dressed exactly like the men in the temple! I know that as a child I had a memory of the pre-existence. This memory has become very sacred to me. I found this quote by President Russell M. Nelson about Heavenly Father; “His love is constant. He never stops watching over us. He has promised that He will be on our right hand and on our left, that His Spirit will be in our hearts, and that even His angels will surround us.”
After we joined the church in 1979, I had several spiritual experiences that testified to me of Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. Some I felt very strongly and others not so strong. I will share some of the “strong” ones here, but realize all my experiences were important and touching to me.
My mother died of a heart attack in October 1986. At the time we had a “cordless” telephone and one of the hand-held phones was upstairs under our bed and the ringer was turned off. Doug was just one year old at the time, and had just woke up and I went to get him from his crib. While I was up, I heard the phone downstairs ringing. It was the hospital calling to tell me my mother was there and that I should get there quickly. I know that if Doug had not started to cry, I never would have heard the phone and been able to get to the hospital. What a blessing!
I got to the hospital and was able to talk to my mom before they started the surgery (she had a clogged artery). I held her hand and told her I loved her. That was the last time we talked. The doctors were able to unclog the artery, but her heart never settled down and she died. Teresa Muse was there with me, as was Jerry. The next several weeks were very hard for me. My Ward and my mother’s Ward took good care of us. Meals were brought in and Kim Higbee planned the whole funeral program and got people to speak, give prayers, play the piano, etc . It was such a blessing to not have to worry about all the details. My mother’s brother and his wife, Phil and Mary Anderson, came out for the funeral. They were able to share some memories about my mother with us.
I was dealing with a great amount of grief and lost 15 pounds! After about two weeks, I prayed to Heavenly Father that I could feel better because I had three small children I needed to take care of. My answer came in a “thought”. I saw my mother sitting in a nice room with her family that had died before her. They were talking and laughing. From then on, I was able to feel some peace and move on and tend to my family. Another blessing in my life.
The last spiritual occurrence I want to share is about my separation from Kelly. We had been struggling in our marriage and seeing a therapist and also our bishop. This went on for about two years. At one point Kelly told me he had no testimony and wanted to start drinking coffee, alcohol and smoking pipes and cigars. We lived like this for some time. During all this, I was praying to Heavenly Father to tell me what to do. Should we stay together or separate? I never got an answer. When things continued to get worse (for me, anyway) I again prayed. This time I told Heavenly Father that I could not handle this anymore and wanted out. I asked, “Is this the right thing to do?” I immediately got my answer; a strong, peaceful feeling enveloped my whole body, from head to toe. As Kelly and I discussed separating and completing all the details, I never doubted my decision. I knew I had my answer and I was doing the right thing. There was never a moment I questioned my decision. Another blessing and answer to a prayer.
I have a testimony of the gospel. I know we have a Heavenly Father who loves us and is merciful. I know that as much as I love my children and grandchildren and would forgive them of anything, I know our Heavenly Father will do the same. My wish is that my family will live their lives as good followers of Christ, knowing that they are doing the best they can and that Christ will atone for their shortcomings and that Heavenly Father will welcome them with open arms.
I love you all.
PS: I survived the 2020 Corona Virus! I was vaccinated with the Pfizer vaccine February 2021!
