The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren are not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith. Billy Graham
As we pass through this life everyone wants to make their mark, to be remembered for something. Some men leave great wealth, others it is the impact they make on society as a whole due to their contribution. For most of us, it is usually smaller in scale; confined to only those who knew us and have lived life along with us, and that would be mainly our family. As Billy Graham states it’s not about money or material things left behind in which I am glad because I would fall short in that aspect but the most important is my legacy of character and faith. As my children and grandchildren look back on the life of their Dad/Pop-Pop I hope that those two aspects of my legacy stand out as positive reminders of who I was. I hope I will leave you with the legacy of a man who treated and cared for others, who tried to keep his word the best he could, someone others could count, who was truthful, and most of all a man whose faith was center of who I was. As a husband, I hope you saw someone who loved his wife, was hardworking, loving, and faithful. As a father, someone who loved his children nurtured them by being by their side and guided them by truth and wisdom.
Losing my father at such a young age affected me greatly. I realized as I grew older how much I had missed by not having him around. I made a promise to myself that I would not allow that to happen to my children. That led to two decisions in my life: marry and have children at a young age and to take care of my health so I can live to old age and enjoy both my children and hopefully grandchildren. Well the good Lord has blessed me with both wishes and I have truly been blessed. Marrying and having children young was not without its struggles, as I look back at some of my immaturity. As I grew older, a bit wiser and with the foundation of my faith, I have learned from my past mistakes (though still not perfect) and hopefully have left a positive legacy I can be remembered by.
TO MY CHILDREN
Crystal, I will always have fond memories of your birth and the circumstances surrounding it. As you know Scotland holds a special place in my heart and I am so glad I had your mother with me to enjoy those years and also that you were born there which provides a special connection you share with us and our time Scotland. Mom and I were young and really had no clue what being a parent was all about. We were thrilled when you came into our lives. I look at pictures of Mom carrying you in the little pouch she placed you in as we walked around Scotland on those windy days with you and my heart is filled with wonderful memories. Crystal, I also know that you bore the brunt of me being a young immature father. I made many mistakes over the years with you, allowing my temper to drive my actions far too often. I truly regret that and if we could get a do-over in life I would take it, but of course, we can’t. Despite all that I am so proud of the way you have turned out, you are the best daughter. You are an amazing hardworking person who juggles both motherhood and career and has excelled in both. You have become an amazing wife to a great husband Ryan, and mother to 3 wonderful children, Brody, Cammy and Keagan. I can’t wait to return to Scotland one day with all of you so you can see your birthplace.
Christopher, you were my firstborn son and I was thrilled to have a son to do things with since I had only a short time to do with my own father. I will always remember the Little League days watching and coaching you, and playing the game I grew up with and loved so much. My fondest memories were, of course, your 12-year-old year and the summer of All-Stars going to the state tournament, staying at the shore, and how you blossomed in the field and at-bat. Even though the results did not turn out in our favor, I would not trade the memories of that summer. I also have fond memories of our youth group years up at WVC and the many different trips we went on to Arizona, Montana, Florida, and Lake Champion. I also enjoyed running and playing in the different church softball leagues with you and wish it had not ended so early as I think your Pop had some good years left in his arm, hah. You have turned out to be an amazing man, you are a great Husband to a wonderful wife Joy. You couldn’t have picked a better life partner. You have also become a great father to two beautiful children, Anna & CJ. I love how your family is the center of your life. Continue to guide them in love and faith and God will bless you with a great legacy of faith to pass on as he has with me.
Robert, as our last child you came along at a time when Mom and I were beginning to feel the years swiftly go by and were having the feeling our family was not fully complete. You became a wonderful addition to our family giving Crystal a little brother to spoil and Christopher a buddy to have fun with. You have benefited from having 4 people (Me, Mom, Crystal, and Christopher) who looked out for you and loved you. I think of the 3 years I was a Pastor down at Calvary Gospel and how you rarely complained about having to take that 50-minute ride with us every Sunday. I also look back fondly of your little league years and had fun coaching your all-stars with Christopher. Also, playing together with you and Chris on the same softball team for a few years was great fun and good memories. Your outgoing personality and love for life are infectious to many and are the reason everyone loves being around you. I’ll never forget the day your mom and I dropped you off in Boston for the first time; it was one of the hardest things we ever went through as parents. We cried all the way home. Though Boston became a wonderful place to visit you, the separation was always difficult. We are very proud of the young man you have become and know the future will be a bright one for you and your future family. I look forward to seeing you as a husband and a father, I know you will be great at both. I can’t wait to see how your family grows after you and Lizzy are married, I know both of you will have a wonderful life together.
To the three of you: I know Nicky’s death was a hard blow to our family and especially to each of you. You three have experienced something that Mom and I never did, death of someone close to you that was so young. Let’s use his death as a reminder of how important family is to the joyful experience of life and always remain close to each other, Nicky would want it that way. Remember, Uncle Ed and Aunt Debbie think the world of the three of you, and I’m sure they feel Nicky’s presence when they are around you. Thank-you on how you have all kept them close to you. Aunt Debbie once said to Mom after Nicky’s death, “Your children are my children” and I know she feels that way about the three of you.
TO ALL MY GRAND-CHILDREN – (Present and Future)
I once heard someone say that each one of us is a product of our past, those who came before us and make up our DNA (our family heritage). In my past, I had two grandfathers, two very different men, one I was close to, and one I barely knew. My Grandfather Griffith was a complex businessman who I can barely remember having much interaction with. I was told he was a man who was a bit cold, and not very warming or nurturing. My other Grandfather (Pop-Pop) was a warm, kind, loving man who was always there for me and my siblings. We always felt good being around him and comfortable seeking his advice. He is the reason I took on the name Pop-pop. Though I want to be like him, I often struggle with the battle inside me between Grandfather Griffith (non-nurturing) and Pop-pop the one who was always there for us. I hope that as you look back and remember me and how I interacted with you that Pop-pop won that battle most of the time and that you remember me as a loving, nurturing grandfather. The one who would try to go to your ballgames, and cheer you on, take you on vacations and play on the beach – going on banana boat rides. I look forward to the many more fun times together. I am so blessed that God has allowed me to not only see my children grow up but also my grandchildren. I look forward to the many years ahead, seeing all of you grow and achieve your life’s goals and accomplishments. One question you will hear in your younger years is this, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Now, this is an interesting question, one that you will think about as you grow older and the answer will probably change multiple times. But I think there is a more important question to be asked, “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” The first question is about your vocation the second question more importantly – speaks of your character. The answer to this question will be formed by “Who your heroes are?” I pray that the heroes you choose will have the following qualities: Kindness, generosity, courage, humility, forgiveness, and love. Surround yourselves with people who have these attributes and then strive to be like them – make them your heroes and you will do well in life.
I want to leave you with the words to this song by Rod Stewart. I know you may be surprised that I am not leaving you with the words from a Christian song (as there are many I could) but I feel he pretty much sums up in this song all my hopes and feelings for each of your lives. Though I’m not fully sure what he was trying to convey as there are many different interpretations of this song (some a bit strange) if you watch the music video of this song (on YouTube or my porch swing website where my story is written) he is singing this song to a young child. My interpretation is this: As life goes on many people are beaten down by some of life’s hardships, they tend to focus on the negative things of life and end up becoming bitter and joyless. For those who travel life with God at their side, focusing on the positive and happy times, and if we live by the golden rule of “treating others the way we want to be treated”, then we will always stay young at heart. Youth brings the excitement of life, when you are young you are carefree, happy, and filled with joy and hope for a good future. If you maintain that type of attitude throughout life then you will remain “FOREVER YOUNG”. God bless you all!! Love- Dad/Pop-Pop
FOREVER YOUNG by Rod Stewart
May the Good Lord be with you down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you’re far from home
And may you grow to be proud, dignified, and true, and do unto others as you would have done to you
Be courageous and be brave – And in my heart, you’ll always stay – Forever young
May good fortune be with you, may your guiding light be strong
Build a stairway to heaven with a prince or vagabond
And may you never love in vain – And in my heart, you will remain – Forever young
And when you finally fly away I’ll be hoping that I served you well
For all the wisdom of a lifetime, no one can ever tell
But whatever road you choose – I’m right behind you, win or lose – Forever young
