Tori was born an old soul. As a child, she was mature beyond her years. This made her a delight to raise, and traditionally difficult periods, such as junior high, much easier.
She has the gift of assertiveness. As a two year old, she was playing restaurant, and was taking our orders. Grandpa told her he wanted a hamburger, french fries, and cherry pie. She politely, but firmly told him they were out of cherry pie. Grandma was next, she ordered a hamburger, french fries and cherry pie – Tori cheerfully said, “Okay!” Grandpa quickly protested, “But you told me I couldn’t have cherry pie.” Tori was quick to respond, “Grandpa! I said no cherry pie!” Then she smiled, and confirmed Grandma’s order again.
Tori’s confidence has landed her some pretty good opportunities. One of her high school friends, Jeff Mortimer, had worked for months long-snapping a football at a target in the Minneapolis gym, with hopes of becoming a walk-on for nationally ranked Kansas State and legendary coach Bill Snyder. The big day came, and Jeff and his dad Scott were driving to his tryout in Manhattan. Tori called Jeff on his cell, “Jeff, while you’re there, ask Coach Snyder if Randi and I can be managers.” Jeff said, “Tori, I don’t know if it works that way – he’s pretty busy and if I get to meet him I’m sure it will only be for a few minutes…” Tori said, “Put your dad on the phone…Scott, this is Tori. While you’re there, can you ask Coach Snyder if Randi and I can be managers?” Scott said, “Okay, Tori.” Tori was a manager for the K-State football team the next fall, and Jeff was a long-snapper.
Tori showed her leadership abilities as President of her Senior class in high school in 2002. Terrorists had demolished the World Trade Center in New York City the previous September 11, and Engine Company 6 were the first responders. Tori thought it would be cool if a fireman came to Minneapolis, KS from NYC to address the Senior Class at graduation. She contacted them, and next thing I know, Al Siccianno (Fireman Al) is booking tickets to Kansas. Word spreads and this quickly becomes a big event in Minneapolis. Someone from the community offered their home to Al during his visit and the local firemen offered to show him around town and meet the crew. Other communities were trying to steal him from us. Al did a great job with his speech, had a great time, and gave all the graduates an Engine Company 6 shirt. At Tori’s graduation party, Al recommended we spend a vacation in Bar Harbor and Acadia National Forest. We did, and he had a buddy take us all on his boat to an island to have dinner. Tori’s vision and persistence created a lot of terrific memories for all of us.
Tori has a deep faith, a love of people, a love of life, and fortunately, a strong love of us.
When I was promoted to run Champion Bus, in Imlay City, MI, we moved a thousand miles away from her. She was a sophomore at K-State, a difficult stage of life for darn near everybody. She joined and was a leader in her sorority, but not a partier. She and Sunshine would hang out together while others were out. She and Jake spent a lot of time together. She did great in school, and was on the campus judiciary board.
While we were in Michigan, our goal was to see each other every other month at a minimum. When Tori and her friends got an apartment, Jayme and I got an extra room and furnished it. I don’t think we ever missed a Thanksgiving or a few summer weekends at the lake with Grandma and Grandpa. Christmas was usually in Michigan, frequently the week after Christmas. If there was a will, there was a way.
In the song I wrote for Tori’s wedding, I stole a line from Glen Frey: “Though the miles may separate us, deep inside I think you see, that I’m always part of you, and you’re always part of me. For the love that I had for you as I knelt beside your bed, will be upon you always, no matter where you lay your head.”
After their wedding, Tori and Jake lived in an apartment near I-35 and 75th in KC, and we got to visit them there. Not too long after that, they had James and we had a whole another reason to visit frequently. Tori also did a great job of keeping in touch by phone. One night, she called and was having a tough day. She mentioned that she really missed us, and if we lived there we could see each other more often, and drop by on a “random Tuesday.” On one hand, it was such a compliment to have our daughter, this amazing young person, want to spend time with us. On the other hand, it tore our heart out.
Fast forward a few years, and we’re living in KC, making up for 10 years of lost time at a high rate of speed. The kids may have 15 games in a week and we may miss one of them, or none. Church on Sundays. An occasional cookout or weekend at the lake.
Or we just stop by. If it’s on a random Tuesday, we always take the time to acknowledge that and be thankful for the opportunity to enjoy each other and this terrific group of kids.
