(Makayla was selected to be an intern at Dan Gilbert’s Quicken Loans the summer before her senior year of college at Bowling Green. It was quite an honor, only a small percentage of applicants were selected. One day Kayla called and we were talking about the homeless in Detroit. We had a nice chat, and I sent her this letter afterwords. She ended up following up on some of my suggestions…see below.)
A note to Makayla…June 16, 2016
You have a big heart, and today it’s broken because of all the homeless people you see in downtown Detroit, very few stopping to notice or help. It’s overwhelming, it’s depressing, it’s not right. It makes you want to go somewhere else, and you feel guilty about that. It’s too much…
First, you’re not alone. We went on a few business trips to Chicago when Alex was probably five. After the first one, he prayed every night that God would make him rich so he could help the homeless. If I remember right, he chose not to join us on a later trip. Point is, you’re in pain because you have a big heart, you have a lot going on in your life right now, and you’re right in the middle of it. But you’re not alone.
So, what do we do? My advice? Pick one. Go and talk with one today, tomorrow or Monday. Ask him/her a few questions, look in their eyes, tell them you hope to see them tomorrow. There’s probably 10,000 homeless people in Detroit and 10,000 cool young people, so if each of you pick one to get to know…
If you want to give him/her something, the shelter folks would tell you to give them food instead of money, because many are suffering from addictions. But that’s up to you. But making a connection and saying Hi every day is a lot. Encourage her. Find out where her kids live.
BE SAFE. You can only help people if one of them doesn’t kill you. Choose a meeting place that’s out in the open.
There’s a great story about a guy who is frantically throwing back starfish into the ocean, except millions of them have been washed up on the shore and are dying. A guy walks by and says, “what are you doing? There are millions of them out there, you can’t possibly make a difference.” The guy throws a starfish in the ocean and says, “I made a difference to that one.”
SMILE. These people get ignored for a living. People avoid eye contact. Give them one of your big, wonderful smiles. It could be the greatest gift you can give.
John Meyer has it wrong. One of the richest guys in the world is “waiting for the world to change.” He probably wrote that song feeling like you do today. But that’s not the answer. Touch one life. Pick one and do what you can to help. Look for him every day on your way to work and say hi.
If you have a chance to volunteer at a kitchen or shelter that helps the homeless, ask how things are. I did this in Wichita and found that there were enough options that the homeless were aware of what was being served every day and going to the kitchen that was serving the best lunch that day. When Rudy Giuliani turned New York around, he did it by data, they knew exactly how many homeless and “squeegee guys” there were, and eventually they were able to move some up the ladder and get the rest the help they needed.
God Bless Dan Gilbert — he just brought 300 of the brightest young people to this area. All of them are probably struggling with this the same as you, hoping to help and not sure how. Go watch Pay It Forward, or Have a Little Faith (it takes place in Detroit) if you need to get fired up.
And pick one to get to know.
Dad II
(Next time I saw Kayla, at Thanksgiving at the lake, she told me that she followed my advice. She selected a young lady who was at the same place every day, and just chatted with her. I’ve asked Kayla to do a video with me to discuss the story.)
