Tragedy Escaped
Needless to say, moving away from Niantic was very difficult. Not only were we going to a place I knew nothing about (even though it was only a few miles from Morristown where my grandparents lived), but it would be a new chapter without a father in the house. My mom told me that before we moved into our house we would live in during our years in Randolph she sat down with my grandfather to see if we could afford the house. I was sitting there I guess hoping we couldn’t which in my mind meant we would have to stay in Niantic. When my grandfather crunched the numbers and confirmed we could afford the house, I ran out of the room crying resigned to the fact we were actually leaving Niantic. Randolph almost started as tragic as Niantic ended. As I mentioned in chapter 2, (Niantic Years), I came a couple of days earlier than my mom, sisters, and brother. I came with the moving truck which was driven by my fathers’ closest friend from Niantic, Mr. Don Hadaway. Don was affected the most outside of my family by my father’s death as they were close friends. The other man in the cab was Mr. Johns and I was in the middle. The ride to Randolph was smooth. We got to our new house where we were met by my grandfather (Pop-Pop) and a good friend of my mother, Ann Gantert, and her son Doug. Ann grew up with my mom in Morristown and came to see us. As the men worked I remember helping some and hanging with Doug who was my age. As the men were about to leave and head back to Connecticut, Doug turned to me and asked if I wanted to stay with them for a few days and wait for my mom and siblings to arrive. I asked my grandfather and he said no. He thought I should go back. Disappointed, I got in the truck and as we were about to back out – he held up his hand for the truck to stop. Apparently, he saw the disappointment in my eyes and if you know my grandfather, (more about him in a later chapter), he hated to disappoint us. He changed his mind but told me I could stay only if I could contact my mom and ask her. Doug quickly pointed out the house next door had a “red hand” in the window which designated the home as a “Helping Hand” home. I knocked on the door and introduced myself and asked if I could call my mom in Connecticut which they allowed, (remember no cell phones back then). Well, my Mom said yes and that answer prevented a possible tragedy. That night on the way back the truck got into a serious accident as it went under a low bridge that ripped the top of the truck nearly off. Both Mr. Hadaway and Mr. Johns got hurt but survived. I was told that if I was in the truck I may have gotten badly hurt or killed as the force of the accident probably would have thrown me through the windshield as we didn’t wear seatbelts in those days. I want to think my father was looking out for me from heaven and didn’t want my Mom to go through another tragedy so soon. It would not be the last time I escaped a tragedy as we will learn later in this chapter. Apparently, God was looking out for me and had plans for me in my later years as we will learn in the “Finding Jesus ” chapter.
Life in Randolph Begins
I don’t remember much about the beginning but I do know the adjustment was difficult. Nobody would match the friends I had in Niantic. We moved as I was about to enter Jr High. I was hoping to begin Jr High with my friends in Niantic but that was not to be, or so I thought. That fall at the beginning of the new school year the schools in Niantic began a week earlier than in NJ. So my mom planned a trip back to Niantic before our NJ schools were to begin. I was able to attend the Jr. High school in East Lyme with my friends as a special visitor to the school. I remember kids coming up to me in the hallway welcoming me back. It was a great day and gave me the chance to begin Jr High with all my old friends from Niantic, though it was only for a day I’ll never forget that day. Like in Niantic, in Randolph, we lived in another development that had plenty of kids around my age, mostly boys again. The neighborhood was split between 3 groups of kids that I remember but at first, I mostly hung out with Doug in Mendham and his friends. Doug lived with his brother, a step-father who was abusive and his Mom that let them do whatever they wanted. My mom was pretty much the same. She had her hands full with her new life, plus watching my 2 younger siblings Carolyn, (8yrs old) and Scott, (1 yrs old) I pretty much was on my own. Doug was a drummer and we would hang out listening to rock music and pretending to emulate rock bands. We even tried to start our own band called “Crystal Farm” but never did much with our rock and roll aspirations. I was lead singer so I guess that was probably why we never made it big. Doug introduced me to his friends who were made up of 2 girls which I ended up dating (whatever you can call dating at age of 13-14) – Cheryl Bell and a blonde girl whose name I can’t remember. Doug’s friends were a bit wild like him, free to do whatever they wanted, mostly rich kids whose parents let them run wild. I’m surprised I stayed out of trouble but besides your normal teen mischief no big stories to write about. Doug’s step-father was mean and was abusive to Doug, his brother, and Mom. They ended up moving out and at one time hid from his step-father at our house when he threatened to kill everyone. Our friendship ended soon after that when we were down the shore. My mom invited Doug and his Mom to join us. Doug brought a friend who I ended up getting into a fistfight with over a girl. My Mom kicked them all out and that was the last time I ever saw them. It was also during that trip that I look back on an incident that still bothers me to this day. After my Mom kicked out the Ganterts she asked her friend Pauline Taraska if she could send her son Joe down to spend the rest of the week with me (more on Joe later). I remember Joe and I meet up with this guy probably in his 40’s who seemed interested in us. He somehow convinced us to come back to his house though to this day I don’t remember the reason why. Later that day Joe and I went to the address he gave us, we knocked on his door but there was no answer, so we left. I look back and sometimes wonder why a 40ish-year-old guy took interest in 2 teenage boys, but I’m glad we never found out, I think God intervened as it may not have ended well.
New Friends and Adventure
My days of going to Mendham were over and I started hanging out with the kids in my neighborhood. At first, I hung out with a group of kids from one part of the neighborhood but after a couple of altercations with a couple of kids, I found new friends on the other side of the neighborhood who would remain my friends through my high school years: Greg & Gary Mezzacapo, Tim Aloia, Mark Villerosi, Terry and Kelly Straub who were my main friends. Life began to resemble my Niantic days of playing sports, sleeping outside, and hanging out in each other’s homes. Besides just playing sports among ourselves we would often challenge kids in the upper part of our neighborhood to football or baseball games which were always fun. Greg became my closest friend. He was the best athlete and everyone wanted to be on his team all the time. We mostly played baseball or football but in the winter we played a lot of hockey on ice ponds. We often played on a pond down the street. One time we were playing and it started to get warm outside. The ice was starting to melt, but we kept playing, like idiots. Suddenly the ice gave way as Greg and another kid went for a puck. Everyone jumped off the ice, but me. I laid on my stomach and tried to pull Greg up out of the water. The ice beneath me gave way and I went into the water. Greg and the other kid made it to safety but I had trouble at first getting out, as every time I went to push myself up, the ice broke. I finally made it to the side to safety. The police came and took the three of us home. I was lucky that I didn’t drown, but again, God came to my rescue because he had a plan. Why did I stay on the ice and try to save Greg? Well, deep down I viewed him as my best friend. He was a bit selfish and hotheaded but I overlooked those things. Though I often thought of that incident and wondered why he didn’t do the same for me that day as I was struggling to get out. Years later, we would get into another jam that would show his true colors. Greg, Mark and I went to the movies in Randolph with three girls. After the movie, we were hanging outside waiting for our ride when a group of guys from a local neighborhood surrounded us. For some reason, they focused on me. The group leader, a tough kid from Dover, pinned me against the brick building, as four other kids surrounded me. By that time, Mark, Greg, and the girls had moved to safety. The kid went to throw a punch at me but I blocked it. He then slammed my head against the wall. His buddies told me to run because they said he was going to kill me. I pushed him away and ran toward the theater door, he then jumped on top of me from behind. As I was struggling, I saw blood coming down onto my back. I thought he stabbed me and I started to yell for help. He and his buddies all ran as the manager of the movie came out to help. He called the ambulance and I was taken to Dover General where I got my head bandaged due to a deep cut. The police caught the kid and my mom and I had to go down to the police station to identify him. I don’t know whatever happened to him after that but I survived with only a cut in my head. As I look back, again Greg stood by and did nothing to help. But maybe it was better as who knows what the outcome would have been as there were about 12 of them to 3 of us. I again overlooked that and Greg remained a close friend, years later serving as my best man at my wedding. Besides sports, just like Niantic, we had other outside adventures, like sleeping outside under the stars. Our sleep outs were always fun as we would walk around our neighborhood late at night and jump into neighborhood pools, usually in our underwear or naked. That all ended when a father who heard us came running out of the house. We all went running and I collided with Gary and he fell on the street in only his underwear and got caught, so our skinny dipping days were over. We often would sleep under the stars in backyards. Onetime it started to rain in the middle of the night so a kid named Steve Cote who was with us said we should go and sleep in the enclosed porch at his house which was on the other side of these woods. I somehow ended up first in line and had a black sleeping bag over my head to protect me from the rain. I saw a house with an enclosed porch and opened the door to walk in. All of a sudden a woman who apparently had woke up because she heard our commotion and came out to her porch started to scream and I mean scream. I ran back to all my friends and said: “Steve, why is your sister screaming?”. He said, “You idiot that is not my house, it’s my neighbors”. Her husband came out with a bat and was going to probably beat us. We yelled we were sorry, told him the mistake then went to my friend’s house. I couldn’t sleep the rest of the night as I kept hearing her scream in my mind, like a horror show. Life was pretty much normal, playing sports, little league, and doing what normal teens do. My one friend’s father, Mark Villerosi, had season tickets to the Mets and often took all of us to home games. I was even able to go to a World Series game in 1973 between the Mets and Oakland. They also owned a second home in Pennsylvania with a lot of land. We would go there and ride his dirt bike and shoot guns, even did some hunting. Greg Mezzacapo was also from a family that had some money. They owned a home down the shore and his family invited me to stay with them one summer for 2 weeks. I remember on the first night there by the time we got to the beach it was early evening and the beach was empty with no lifeguards. We decided to still go out on our rafts which was risky since it was high tide and the water was rough, but hey at 14 years old nothing can hurt us. Well, as I was out in the water I looked and saw my friend Greg on the beach waving to me and pointing at the jetty. Apparently the waves had pushed me too close to the rocks, so I started to paddle as hard as I could. My efforts were not getting me anywhere and the waves were about to throw me into the rocks. Luckily, a lifeguard who came back to the beach because he left his jacket saw my struggles and jumped in and pulled me to safety. He told me he got there just in time, as a few more waves and I would have been in the rocks. After catching my breath, I went to thank him, but he was gone. As I look back, I again believe God rescued me because he had a plan. Who knows, maybe the lifeguard was an angel, as he was gone as fast as he arrived.
JR. High Years
In Jr. High not much happened besides normal stuff. My social life started to expand beyond the neighborhood. I wasn’t in the real popular crowd, but I was invited to some parties that consisted of us hanging in basements with girls and playing spin the bottle and other kissing games. We experimented with alcohol. Someone would somehow get a hold of some beer, usually from an older sibling and we would try to be cool and share a bottle of beer with a small group of us, usually forcing it down and then saying, ” that was great!! I guess that was the beginning of a life of drinking which hit its peak in the Navy years, (more on that later). In 8th grade, I was a class clown. A kid, Robert Shephis, and I would perform 2 person funny skits in front of classes for laughs. I tried my hand at football again and played for the Randolph Bulldogs in 8th grade. I was not a big kid and had only played one other year, which was in Niantic in 6th grade. They had no tryouts but had all the new kids who signed up come down to the field and they would split us between JV and Varsity. I was sure I would be on JV, since most of my friends were playing JV, but to my surprise, I was the 2nd kid announced for the Varsity team. We went 6-0-2 that year. I was a second-string player, which meant at most practices we held the dummies so the first string could beat up on us. Right before the season began, I was walking down the street in my neighborhood and some girl on a bike ran into my leg, ripping open my calf. I looked down, saw no blood but a piece of my muscle hanging out all ripped up. I yelled at her, walked home where my mom freaked out and took me to the hospital where I needed stitches. I ended up missing the first game. I played in all but two games that season, as a sub mostly on defense. The most memorable game was against Wharton. We were well ahead by halftime so they let the subs play the entire second half. I played both offensive and defensive guard. On one play I was a pulling guard and had the key block for Gary Gorman on a TD run around the end. I remember hurting my hand and having it wrapped up and going back in. I played the rest of the game with a hand wrapped up. I loved it. My football career ended when I realized in High School I was just too skinny to keep playing and I quit the freshman team.
High School Years
High school was not full of many big highlights, until my Sr. year. I had a hard time, especially during my freshman and Sophmore years. I was not that big and sort of went into a shell and became very quiet. As a freshman, I remember being picked on by the bigger kids in the upper classes. I still loved sports so I went out for track because they didn’t have cuts. I was an average runner so I tried pole vaulting which was a mistake. I wasn’t strong enough to pull myself up. I ran track through my junior year, not because I loved it, but because I wanted to do a least one high school sport. I quit my senior year because I wanted to work and make money. The only other sport I did during those years was skiing. I actually started in 8th grade by joining the ski club. I remember one time when I was learning to ski, I was on a ski chair lift and my ski got caught on a snowbank. The force pulled me right off the lift and I fell in the snow. The lift operator stopped the lift and cursed at me, and my friends laughed at me. It didn’t deter me from continuing and skiing became a nice outlet even into my adult years. During my High School years, the focus of my social life was mostly my neighborhood friends, with one exception, my friend Joe Taraska who lived in Lake Hopatcong. His mom and my Mom were friends when they were young. I was introduced to Joe around my 8th grade year, and stayed friends throughout high school and still are friends today, though he lives in Tennessee. When I think about it, the most memorable times in my teen years were with Joe. His Mom went to a big church in Randolph called Bethlehem church. Though we did not go to church at all, I got involved with the Boys Brigade program which was similar to Boy Scouts. Joe and I would go every Friday night for a few years. They would play games, learn life skills, and teach about the Bible (more on this in my chapter “Finding Jesus”.) I have fond memories of those times. Not having a Father it gave me a chance to hang out with men who would guide us and teach us good godly principles. We would go on day hikes and sometimes weekend camp-outs. I remember one weekend in the winter, we stayed in a cabin up in NY State. There was snow all over the place and it was cold. We went sledding and cross country skiing through the woods. The leader was Bill Woods, who was a great guy and a father figure to all the boys. He would make us each eat a prune each morning. I hated them and could barely swallow one. I always wondered why he had us do that. Years later when I saw him I asked him that question. He said it was to keep us regular -he didn’t want to deal with any boys who were constipated on the camp-out – hah. Those times would be the foundation of what would happen to me later in life, but I was about to begin another darker chapter in my life. At about 16 both Joe and I apparently outgrew those outings and stopped going. We started to fool a bit more with drinking, parties, and girls. I loved to go to Hopatcong and visit Joe. His Mom like my mom would let us do what we wanted. He lived by the lake and his one friend had a boat. He would take us out on the boat and we would go over to Bertrands Island which was an amusement park, where we would hang out. Though Joe and I didn’t get into any big trouble we did press the boundaries a bit. There are two incidences I can remember that stand out. We once went into a restaurant where they advertised all you could eat fish. After the first couple of helpings, we asked for more and the owner said no apparently he thought we had enough. We both got ticked off and decided to sneak out without paying. The other was one I still to this day think about, as it could have ended tragically. We went to one of Joe’s friend’s house whose parents were away for the weekend. His friend had some marijuana. I stayed away from that stuff to that point. Marijuana was popular among teens back then but I had never tried it. For some reason that night I gave in and we spent the next few hours smoking pot. At one point in the evening, Joe comes downstairs with a shotgun and points the gun at both me and his friend and says “bang, bang” and started to laugh. Joe then goes back upstairs with the gun and within a minute we both hear “BOOM”. We both run upstairs, there is Joe sitting with a surprised look on his face. The gun had been loaded, and Joe blew a hole right through his friend’s wall. You could see through to the outside. The kid told us both to leave and I never saw him again. Apparently, he called his brother-in-law to come to fix the hole to hide it from his parents. To this day you can still see from the outside of that house the patched up hole. When I go by that house I am reminded how God again came to my rescue and saved me from tragedy, because he had a plan.
My senior year of high school was the best of my school years. It all started a bit strange and unsure of where I would spend my last year in high school. In 1973, my Mom met a man she would soon marry. After being a widow for almost 5 years, she met Steve France who was the Fire Chief of Morristown. I was happy for her and liked Steve. They quickly got married in February of 1974 when I was a junior. The only problem was we lived in Randolph and he and his kids (4 of them – Teddy, Victor, Yvonne, Bernice) lived in Morristown. At first, my mom would spend weekends in Morristown while Joanne and I would stay in Randolph. Then my Mom tells us that she was going to sell her home that summer (1974), and we were all moving in with them in Morristown. One problem, I was going into my senior year and didn’t want to go to Morristown High School. Morristown for us Randolph kids was a scary place. It was big and had a lot of black kids, which to this point in my life was still something I was not used to. Even my friends said to me in concern “you are moving to Morristown?” I didn’t deem myself prejudice, but at this point in my life, I had been around mostly white kids (we had one black kid in our high school). That school year 1974, they even had race riots at Morristown High School, and we heard all about them. Not only were we going to move to Morristown, but Steve and his kids lived right across the street from the high school. I asked my Mom if there was any way I could continue to go to Randolph High School to finish my senior year but live in Morristown. It seemed impossible since I didn’t have my license (turned 17 in November 1974) and she couldn’t run me back and forth every day from Morristown. It seemed like I was going to have to go through another life change, another big move in my senior year. Well, to my surprise it all worked out. My friend’s parents, (Terry & Kelly Straub), came through. They told my Mom I could live with them for the first 3 months until I got my license and then I could drive myself back and forth to school from Morristown. The Randolph school board allowed it and that September I moved in with the Straubs. I am forever grateful to them as taken on another teen boy (they had 3 boys, Terry, Kelly and Barry – all in high school) wasn’t easy but those 3 months living with them was a blessing and fun. I moved back to Morristown to live that December when I got my license. The house was crowded with Steve, my mom and 7 kids (Teddy moved out when we all moved in). It was fun living there, but not without its challenges – we were nothing like the Brady Bunch – though I got along with everyone (can’t say the same about my sister Joanne). Since Steve was a fireman – it meant an active house full of people and lots of drinking. I feel I adjusted well to my new surroundings I guess because I spent most of my time in Randolph. My senior year was great because I had a shortened schedule. I knew I was not going to college so I went on the work-study program – I only needed three classes, Math, English, and Gym to graduate, (I also took a photography class). I went to school 1/2 day and worked at a Gas station in Randolph 3 days a week. Since I had no car ( first 3 months of school) and got out of school at 12:00 noon – I hitchhiked home to the Straub’s house every day and also to work. I hitchhiked every day through December when I finally got my license and bought a car. I then moved back to Morristown for the remainder of the school year. Hitch-hiking back in those days was no big deal as I had been doing it for years with my friends before we got cars. We would often hitchhike with a few of us. One of us would stand out in the road and hitchhike and the others would hide behind a bush. When the car stopped, we would jump out. Sometimes the driver would laugh and let us all in and other times the drivers would get ticked and speed off. It was a way many young people would get around back then and I never felt threatened or afraid. Though one time it did cause a scare for my mom. When I was either a sophomore or junior I was at a track meet and apparently had forgotten to tell my mom we had one that night. During track season I would often hitchhike home after practice if I missed the late bus. That night when I did not come home at the expected time, my mom started to worry as she thought I probably was hitchhiking home. She panicked and called the police to report me missing, thinking I got kidnapped. After the meet when I got back to school all these kids told me the cops were at the school looking for me. I called my mom told her I was safe and she came to get me. I think I stopped hitchhiking for a while after that.
With my new found freedom ( a car) I pretty much was on my own and spent most my time hanging out in Randolph. That year I started to hang out with a few new friends: John Dufus, Gary Resnick, and Dave Akromas. John, Gary, and I spent a lot of time together, mostly drinking and going to parties. I look back and can’t believe how many times we drove while drinking. I was only 17 but John was 18 (drinking age back then) and would often get us the alcohol we needed. We would often drive up to Hopatcong to party with Joe and his friends as well as go to parties in Randolph. Once during a snowstorm, we took off for Pennsylvania with a case of beer in our car to go skiing. I had a great car, a Ford 8 cylinder I nicknamed “Bessy”, but it was not good in the snow. We couldn’t get up the hill close to the ski resort because of the snow. We didn’t want to go home but didn’t know what to do. I remembered that Mark’s parent’s farmhouse was only a few miles away so we headed for it, snow and all. Of course, it was empty but we got in through a window. We sat for a couple of hours, drinking beer and going out in the snow shooting some shotguns we found in the house. I started to feel bad about being there and we left. On the way home for some reason, we stopped at a bowling alley in Pennsylvania. The place was open but completely empty, I guess because of the snow. The only ones in the alley were us three and three other teen girls. We started talking with them and we bowled a few games with them. We talked about getting together with them later back at Mark’s house again but we suddenly realized we did not have enough money to pay for the games. So we devised a plan: I would go out and get the car and John and Gary would run out and we would speed off. John and Gary came running out and jumped in the car and we sped away with the bowling alley manager running through the parking lot trying to chase us. On the way home because of the snow coming down hard and I guess a few beers in me, we crashed into a snowbank. I couldn’t get the car out and we were stuck. I was expecting the police to come by and arrest us not only for underage drinking but also for running out of the bowling alley without paying. All of a sudden a tow truck heading for another call came by and helped us out and somehow we all made it home safely. The 3 of us did some stupid things together. Once we were driving on route 10 and pulled up next to another car with a young couple in it (late 20’s or 30’s). I was driving and John and Gary decided to moon them. When we got off the exit we ended up pulling into a convenience store. The guy apparently followed us and came flying into the lot and jumped out threatening to “kick are a–es”. We apologized and he left, we all started to laugh, but I have to admit he got us nervous. Dave Akromas was another close friend of mine. I had known Dave for a few years. He played on the Randolph Bulldogs together and was part of the neighborhood gang that we competed against in sports. I didn’t hang with Dave much to that point but we started to hang out during my Senior year. Dave was a drummer and also what we called back then a”pot-head”. I also played the drums so we had a common interest. Dave mostly hung with the “pot-heads” in school and was really into that scene. I started to get more into that “pot” scene during that time going with Dave to “pot” parties with a kid named Scott McGill. One night after smoking, we were driving back to Morristown and his car tire became flat. We pulled over to change the tire and all of a sudden a police car pulled over with his lights on. I was scared to death and thought for sure he would arrest us. Luckily, he didn’t get to close to us but just stood there with his flashlight on us and Dave’s car as Dave changed the tire. We then got in Dave’s car and drove away. I think after that I stopped going to those types of parties. Dave and I remained friends but didn’t hang out as much. He would later be part of two key events in my life – “Navy and Finding Jesus” which I cover in two later chapters. I look back on those incidences and it’s amazing nothing bad happened. We were often foolish and drove drunk or high. Back then nobody wore seat belts. Some kids lost their lives because of it, a few from Randolph High School. God surely was good to me and spared me (and my Mom) from those tragic events that affected other teens and their families. I guess because he had a plan for me.
LIFE TAKES ANOTHER UNEXPECTED TURN
Well, my senior year was moving quickly. The year was 1975, the last part of my senior year. Kids were starting to look ahead to colleges. I knew I wasn’t going that route for two reasons: I didn’t like school, and my Mom had very little money. For me to try the college route was only a waste of my time and her money. I liked photography as I took a course in my senior year and enjoyed it. My grandfather, (Pop-Pop), even built me a darkroom in his basement. I thought maybe I would try some sort of photography school. Then in the spring of 1975, our High School had a career day that would change my life. I remember most kids signed up for two seminars: Mortician and Secret Service, and I did the same. I think for most of us we just wanted to see what a Mortician would say – hey maybe he would show us pictures of dead bodies but the seminar was a waste. I remember loving the Secret Service seminar, thinking it would be exciting to do something like that and travel around the world. I was ready to get out of NJ and see more of the world. Growing up not many families traveled a lot and my whole life was spent in one area, the Northeast, (NJ and Connecticut). Seeing the world captured my interest. So when I walked down the hall and saw the Navy table I sat down and started to listen to the recruiter talk. He talked about traveling around the world and showed pictures of far off places I only read about. Within 5 minutes I was convinced that was the direction I was going. I went home and told my mother (she wasn’t happy) and within a few days headed up to the Navy recruiting office in Morristown. I was hoping to do something with photography in the Navy which he agreed was a good possibility. He scheduled me to take a test that I took that would help place me in a career. I did well on the test, but didn’t get a high enough score for photography school as he said due to its popularity was hard to get into, (don’t know if he was telling the truth). He then told me about a job called “Communication Technician”. He said it was a top-secret field and sort of described it as a James Bond type of job. Traveling around, wearing plain clothes. I would be like a “spy” listening in to other countries’ communications for top-secret information to share with our government. Sounded cool to me so I asked, ” Where do I sign up?” I signed up for the 6-month delayed enlistment program that would guarantee me everything I wanted, a job, school, and where I would do my boot camp. I choose Orlando, Fla. Since I was only 17 at the time, I had to have my mother come and sign a waiver for me which she reluctantly, but did at my Step-father Steve’s urging. Right after that Dave Akromas found out what I did and he did the same thing. We signed up for the buddy program and would be going off to boot camp together in 6 months – October 1975. With my future intact, not having to go away for another 6 months, all I had to do was finish high school and hang out and party for the summer with my buddies since none of us had a girlfriend to tie us down. The rest of my senior year was set – or I thought. All that was about to change.
MEETING THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE
For my entire high school years, I never went steady with any girl. There was plenty I liked and hung out with but never to the point where we dated. With the Navy only 6 months away, I didn’t expect that to change, but it did. At the end of May, they always had a senior cut day. It was a day that seniors would traditionally head for the shore and hang out for the day. I went with Gary and John to meet a few of Gary’s friends. In that group of friends was a girl named June Poulos. She had already graduated and was in her first year of college – she was in my sister’s class of 1974. She took the day off to join this group of friends Gary hung out with: Sam, Glenn, Janice, Chuck, and a few others, all who were in my grade. I knew who they were but didn’t hang with them much to that point. I quickly became attracted to June, she was pretty and seemed like a fun outgoing person. I don’t remember much about that day besides all hanging at the beach, going in the water and playing football, (June played also), on the beach. Soon after that Gary’s friends became my new friends and June was part of that group. I started to have feelings for June which didn’t sit well with Gary as he also had a crush on her. Soon, June shared those same feelings and we started dating. For the entire summer of 1975 – we spent every day together. We hung out together, we did everything together – it was the best summer of our lives. Our many activities were drive-in movies, going to the shore, and just hanging out with friends. One of our favorite hangouts that summer seemed to be at a dance club called Smiles in Parsippany. Disco was beginning to become the rage and we all got caught up in it. Since the drinking age was only 18, everyone we knew was going out to these dance clubs, drinking and disco dancing. I was only 17 but since June and all my friends were 18 I never got carded. My sister Joanne and step-sister Bernice would often come with us, heck even at times my Mom (Mom-Mom) would join us. June and I got pretty good at disco dancing, doing dances like the bump, and the hustle. During those disco days, Leisure suits and platform shoes became the style and yes I even started to dress that way, hah. It was the best summer and June would actually keep an album recording everything we did together. She recorded each event with the date and event name. She pasted in items to remind us of each event, like movie and concert and event tickets, cards, restaurant business cards, anything she could find as a reminder of what we did together that summer. My family loved her and she loved being around them. I’m not sure how her mom and dad felt about me at first as we were out most of the time. I remember taking her to an all-day concert by my favorite rock and roll artist, Alice Cooper. The concert featured many bands with Alice Cooper as the main performer. The concert was named “Welcome to My Nightmare”. We stood in line all day drinking (many were smoking pot, June hated pot). Just as the concert was about to start it started to rain, really hard. The concert was postponed to the next day and we all went back. June told me her dad was not too happy with me. I think he thought I was a bad influence on June. Little did he know it was June that was becoming the grounding influence I needed. Her dad and I would become very close later in life, (see chapter “Most Influential Men in My Life”). Life was great and for the first time in my life, I was falling in love. I didn’t see it coming, didn’t expect it – heck the Navy was right around the corner and I couldn’t get out of that commitment as I already signed on the dotted line. So with that reality just ahead of us we wanted to spend every moment together – because who knew what was in store in the future as I would be gone for 4 years. The only time we were not together was when a few of my friends and I went camping in Maine for a week. A couple of things I learned during that trip was: 1) Maine was probably a great place for you to visit when you are older (30+) but it is not a place to go when you are 17-18-year-old male teens. Though it was beautiful, there was very little to do for guys our age. 2) You don’t go away camping with a friend who has a crush on your girlfriend. We all knew that Gary had a crush on June, but it came to a head on that trip. We had been drinking and I can’t remember what started the argument, but for some reason, Gary started to say I stole June from him and he wasn’t happy about it. We got into an argument and he took off saying he was leaving and going back to New Jersey. The problem was that he had no way home as he didn’t drive up, he was a passenger in our friend Sam’s car. We found him out on the highway with his thumb out hitchhiking with a sign that said: “NEED A RIDE TO NEW JERSEY”. We got there just as an 18 wheeler pulled over to pick him up. Sam, our most respected friend jumped out and ran up to talk Gary and the truck driver out of Gary going with him. Gary listened to Sam and got out and stayed with us. Gary and I didn’t talk too much the rest of the trip but eventually, Gary came to accept the fact that June and I were dating and Gary never again acted out in a strange way. The summer ended and there were many sad goodbyes as we were graduating and all going off to start new chapters in our lives. Many going on to college and life would change for us all. The hit song that summer that sort of captured what we were all going through was by Seals and Crofts “We May Never Pass This Way Again”, as many of us have lost touch throughout the years. Well, summer turned into fall and the reality of me going away was starting to hit both June and I. We even started talking about the future, marriage, spending our lives together (hard to believe just 6 months earlier I didn’t even know June). We were determined to make the whole thing work, despite distance and time, (4 years is a long time). She would go to school and work, I would do the Navy thing, get out and we would continue where we left off. Finally, time was getting close to me leaving. I remember sitting up at nights watching every movie I could find that had a Navy theme. I was excited but sad to be leaving June and my family. Everyone gave me a going-away party and presented me with a plaque with a Navy emblem and the date 1975 – (to be determined). I remember the day I left. June slept over at my house downstairs on the couch. I got up and showered, crying in the shower. I went downstairs, June, and my Mom both had red eyes from crying. We headed to the Morristown train station where I would board a train to Newark, get sworn into the Navy, and then get on another train to Orlando, Fla. As the train was approaching I hugged my Mom who was crying, shook Steve’s hand then turned to June. As she was crying she hands me a letter she wrote to me to read on the train. We kissed goodbye. The train stops and out jumps Dave Akromas,(he had gotten on in Dover), all excited and he yells “All Aboard for the Navy – yahoo!!”, we all laughed. It was a good moment that broke the tension. I waved goodbye and off I went. Our friend Scott McGill, came along for the ride to Newark with us just to see us off. Years later all three of us would have the same life-changing experience – FINDING JESUS. With my High School years now behind it was off to a new chapter – THE NAVY YEARS.
